Hi I met a guy in 2020 and we have been friends until now and we were on good terms also I had already made him clear from the beginning that I will only be a good friend and not to expect anything much from me but he is telling me he likes me and wants to marry me and asking me what's the issue also recently I got to know that the person was already married once and then divorced and I don't even see him as my spouse I don't like him at all how do I deal with this as this person is simply living in a delusion that I may like him or marry him.

Ans:

Dear DM,

There are enough and more people on social media who look out for casual flings and chats that help them cope with a loveless marriage or relationship or simply for killing time.

Now that you know the truth, I guess it’s challenging your value system where you don’t feel comfortable ‘flirting’ with a married man.

So focus on this and what to do next rather than ask, why he did this and why he didn’t reveal his marital status to you.

Will the answers make a difference to you?

Will you feel any better knowing why?

Why it happens is anyone’s guess….if he had told you, would you have chatted with him? No, right? That’s why he didn’t reveal it…

So, do what you think is right and what keeps you happy.

All the best!

Ans: As you stated you should not have issues in being single, its a choice you have made. And its awesome to know that you fancy someone and age did not matter to you. Having said this, you know he will not reciprocate your feeling, keeping this in mind, you need to start viewing him as a co-worker, it will be tough, but you need to do so for your own sanity. Also you should not read into anything in case he does something nice for you, by your message he seems to be clear that he sees you as a co-worker.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that it can be frustrating to meet someone who seems nice but does not want the same thing as you do. But it is completely normal. It's great that you are ready to get married but not everyone on a matchmaking app will have the same goal. Some are seeking friendships and both casual and serious relationships too. If you feel that you are being dragged without any definite goal in sight, consider having a clear and open discussion with your match. If you both are not on the same page and it becomes clear that he does not have any intention to get married in the near future, reconsider this relationship. Right now he is just a match. It's not a commitment. If you are looking for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage, mention that in your Bio to attract people seeking the same thing.

Best Wishes.