I meet this person via matchmaking site he is 37 and had normal conversation. However He said he is not mentally prepared for marriage. And whenever I ask anything he says I am not prepared and it will take lot of time. However he is wants to talk to me at night, flirt and meet and talk but no progress on marriage.

Ans:

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

Ans: It's positive that you've been in communication for a month and that he makes an effort to call you every day. However, it's important to recognize that everyone has their own communication style, and being introverted doesn't necessarily mean a lack of interest. Some people take time to open up, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. Introverts often prefer to think before they speak and may be more reserved in expressing their thoughts and feelings. If he is consistently reaching out and maintaining contact, it could be a sign of interest, even if the communication seems formal. Meeting in person can provide valuable insights into his personality. People may be more comfortable and expressive in person than they are online or over the phone. Pay attention to his body language, facial expressions, and overall demeanor during your second meeting. Encourage open communication by asking open-ended questions that invite him to share more about himself. This can help create a more relaxed and natural conversation If you feel comfortable, you might express to him that you would like to get to know him better and that you appreciate open and honest communication. This can create an environment where both of you feel more comfortable sharing. Before making any decisions about marriage, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations about your values, goals, and expectations for the future. Take the time to understand each other's personalities and communication styles, and assess whether you share common values and interests.

Remember, the decision to marry someone is significant, and it's important to feel a genuine connection and mutual understanding. If you have any doubts or concerns, it's advisable to address them before making any commitments.

Ans: I understand that you are in a difficult position. You are in love with a man who does not seem to be emotionally available or ready for marriage. You have also met another man who seems to be a better match for you, but you are not sure if you should pursue a relationship with him.

It is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people find themselves in similar situations. It is also important to remember that you have the power to make the best decision for yourself.

I am against marriage in the first place. I believe that relationships are not meant to be permanent. However, I understand that many people feel differently. If you do decide to get married, it is important to do so for the right reasons. You should not marry someone just because you feel pressured to do so by society or your parents.

The first guy does not seem like he wants to marry you. He has brushed off your attempts to talk about marriage and has even diverted the topic. This is a clear sign that he is not ready for a serious relationship.

The second guy seems like he may be a better match for you. He is emotionally available and seems to be interested in getting married. However, it is important to remember that you do not know him very well. You have only spoken to him for a few hours.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with either of these men is up to you. I would encourage you to take some time to think about what you want out of a relationship. What are your goals? What are your values? Once you have a clear understanding of what you want, you can start to make decisions that are in your best interests.

If you do decide to pursue a relationship with the second guy, I would recommend that you spend at least two years getting to know him before you get married. This will give you enough time to learn about his true character and to see if he is really the right person for you.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call