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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |560 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2025
Relationship

Hi i am a married woman aged 45 years, i am happily married and have a loving husband. My husband travels a lot due to work and my son is studying in college in Pune. Everything was going fine in my life, but few months back a MBA graduate boy 23 years joined our office in my team. He had to report to me, and our company send us for sales corporatemeetings to Mumbai and other cities often. Gradually we became close and he confessed he had a crush on me. I was falttered but told him i am much older and married. Although i was very flattered that he found me attractive. I am tall 5ft 7 inches and kept myself very fit and always men keep hitting on me but i always ignore them. On our last trip together we went for a meal and had a few drinks together. Then i told him i was sleepy and needed to go to my room. He accompanied to my room and had a coffee. I had a bavk ache and he said he can massage me for 5 mins. I hesitantly agreed during the massage one thing led to another and we had sex and since then we have started having sex whenever we travel togther often. He says he truly loves me but for next 5 years he cannot marry anyone. I have now started loving him a lot i often fight with my husband. I want to continue this affair but am afraid if my husband finds out or if people in office come to know. Strangely another young man in office has starterd showing interest in me and asked me out for a coffee. He also says he likes me a lot anf is caring, I am confused shall i also go for a simple coffee. what if my husband or younger boyfriend find out. Is what i am doing wrong, i just want to live my life fully am i wrong ???

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you do not have an open marriage, then what you are doing is certainly wrong. When has cheating ever been right? Especially when you did not mention anything wrong with your husband. I am not judging you; but I would suggest that if you want to keep this up, you either come clean to your husband or let him go. This isn't fair. You living your life to the fullest should not harm or hurt others.
Hope this helps.

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Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed. But i dont love him. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022 i had communication with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him about my marriage, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me doing wrong, told me to not do. But still i want to continue and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. I am doing correct or not please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The fact that you are asking me whether it is correct or not shows that you are absolutely questioning yourself...
You yourself said that your husband loves you more than anything...then what makes you go around in circles searching for love and attention outside? Obviously you are unable to appreciate what you have...when you can't see that you have a stable life, all you think of doing is thinking of the boyfriend who did not accept you and the young boy who all of 23 is immature and financially unstable with who you want to live with!
Are things described in a nutshell now? You are free to make your choices but also know that you will have to bear the consequences.
At 23,
What sort of a life ahead he visualized for himself?
Does it include you?
What is the guarantee that he will not meet younger women later on?
And if you wish to start a family considering that he is already 23, does he have the capability to support you and the baby?
- Have you considered all of this?
Kindly step up for yourself and start thinking rather than running around in a scattered way looking for someone else to make you happy...

All the best!

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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
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Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love me more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed also. We dont have kids because i never loved my husband. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured me that he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022, i used to communicate with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately, in Sept 2023, i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him, told i am not married, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me cheating with him in whatsapp messages, told me to not do. But still i went ahead to continue my relationship with this young guy and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. My parents and family love and respect my husband like their own son. I am doing correct or not please suggest me.
Ans: No you certainly are not “doing correct”! Here’s a good man who loves you and treats you well and has forgiven your indiscretions and still you want someone else? You agreed to marry, right - no one put a gun to your head. Now honour that commitment and stop being so fickle-minded. At 23, your boyfriend is really young and immature. Right now you’re all hot and heavy, but give it a minute; realistically your relationship is unlikely to survive in the long run. And you want to hurt your husband and walk out on your marriage for nothing…he’s only ever treated you right. Don’t be a fool!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 16, 2025
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Hi i am 48 old woman my husband works overseas in Dubai, i am fit and good looking and men always try to approach me but i pay no attention. In my workplace a young intern 18 years joined our office. I was assignes to guide and mentor him and he started spending time together. Now the boy says he loves me and he wants to take me for a movie date. I also seem to like him a lot but denied showing him i like him. Last week it was his birthday and he asked me to go for coffee i agreed during which he said he really loves me and kissed me also although i dont admit i also started liking him. my husband is overseas and i miss physical satisfaction. Now the boy asked if we can go to mussorie over the weekend, shall i go what if my husband finds out please advice i dont want to hurt my husband but also like my young office colleague also shall spending 2-3 days togther wrong ???
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Guys that age are still confused handling emotions and it does take a while for them to understand the difference between lust and love.The boy maybe infatuated with you and you don't want him dealing with his 'mommy' issues. You cannot take care of him like he would want a mother to and you end up parenting him. Even if you wish to argue this and call it love, how are you going to be able to manage your husband and your family.

It is understandable that you have your 'needs' BUT surely you can come up with other ways of handling it, right? Take charge of this being the older and wiser person and stop this before it becomes a challenge. The boy has a life ahead of him to explore lust, love, responsibility etc...let him do that on his own time and pace...

Talk to your husband and tell him about how lonely you have begun to feel without his presence and how much you miss sex. The two of you surely can figure something out, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2025

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Sir, Age: 26 Subject: NPS ( National Pension Scheme) Scheme Choice : LC 75 ( Aggressive Auto Choice) Tier : Tier 1 Pension Fund: ICICI Prudential Pension Fund Current value of scheme : Rs. 57927/- Investing Rs. 5600/- on a monthly basis My goals: Want my portfolio to beat inflation and provide a pension of Rs. 1 lakh monthly ( in hopes that beating inflation value of Rs. 1 lakh does not decrease over time) Time horizon : 34 years Questions: 1. Sir will my NPS scheme beat inflation? 2. Is the Pension Fund ( ICICI Prudential) a good choice or should I shift? 3. Will one lakh pension after 34 years be enough to support my lifestyle? (Assuming that everything pans out smoothly) 4. Judging by today's tax law income up to 12 lakh p.a. is non taxable, will I be taxed on my pension still if the law remains as is? (Hypothetical question) My details : 1.Unmarried, never planning on marriage or kids ever. 2.Current utility bills amount to Rs. 15,000 per month 3. Other expenses Rs. 5-7k per month. 4. I have other investments too, but I want to know if I can rely on NPS in old age or not. With this information alone, is retirement with NPS feasible?
Ans: Hello;

Your current expenses add upto 22 K per month.

After 34 years this amount will be 1.6 L per month considering 6% inflation.

This would need a corpus of 5-6 Cr.

Your current investment would fetch you around 1.2 Cr which is quite low.

You need to invest minimum 25 K per month in NPS to expect 5 Cr+ corpus build after 34 years. (A modest 8% return considered from NPS)

Also you may shift from Auto choice to Active choice so as to ensure 75% allocation to equity upto 50 age.(In Auto choice after 35 age equity allocation is tapered down).

You are allowed to have different fund managers for different asset classes based on their performance in respective category.

Current fund manager looks okay however you need to review performance every year.

For generating retirement corpus it is better to have 2-3 investment avenues rather then a single one.

A mix of EPF/PPF, NPS and MFs should be more appropriate.

Best wishes;

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