Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed. But i dont love him. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022 i had communication with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him about my marriage, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me doing wrong, told me to not do. But still i want to continue and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. I am doing correct or not please suggest.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The fact that you are asking me whether it is correct or not shows that you are absolutely questioning yourself...
You yourself said that your husband loves you more than anything...then what makes you go around in circles searching for love and attention outside? Obviously you are unable to appreciate what you have...when you can't see that you have a stable life, all you think of doing is thinking of the boyfriend who did not accept you and the young boy who all of 23 is immature and financially unstable with who you want to live with!
Are things described in a nutshell now? You are free to make your choices but also know that you will have to bear the consequences.
At 23,
What sort of a life ahead he visualized for himself?
Does it include you?
What is the guarantee that he will not meet younger women later on?
And if you wish to start a family considering that he is already 23, does he have the capability to support you and the baby?
- Have you considered all of this?
Kindly step up for yourself and start thinking rather than running around in a scattered way looking for someone else to make you happy...

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi I am 39 year married woman with one 13yr boy and living in joint family. I am doing everything very honestly and sincerely as housewife but I never got love respect as wife from my husband and few years after our marriage I had seen changes in his behavior and day by day he is getting very rude towards me. So I decided to enquire the reason behind these and came to know that he is having affair with someone whom he is treating as his wife and giving everything to her as his wife and also wants to marry her. I told these to both of our parents and after talking with him he assured of not continuing the affair. But after that incident I had not seen any change in his behavior and still acting in the same way. I told these to my parents but because of some compulsion we both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is but these is very difficult for me to accept these and continue these relationship. In my schooldays I likes a boy, we love each other but after my marriage we had never been in contact with each other and he also not contacted me .But after these incident and during Corona I contacted him to know how he is and came to know that he is still unmarried and waiting for me and I told him about my married life.As he loves me very much and still wants me as his wife and told me that he will accept me as I am. As I also loves him a lot and after knowing that he is still waiting for me its become very difficult for me live without him as now i doesn’t feel complete without him. I remain honest in my married life but after these incident I dont want to live here and also unable to leave because of family condition and also because of the society we lived in. We shares everything with each other . He respects me and my feelings and loves me a lot and I feel that he is always there for me and will support me in all respect. Kindly guide
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time. It sounds like you're in a very complex situation, and I'm not qualified to give you advice on personal or emotional matters. However, I can offer some general information that may be helpful.

It's important to remember that you're not alone in this. Many people go through difficult times in their marriages, and there are resources available to help you cope. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with support and guidance as you work through your challenges.

If you're thinking about leaving your marriage, it's important to weigh all of your options carefully and consider the potential consequences of your decision. You may want to talk to a lawyer or financial advisor to get advice on what your rights and options are.

Ultimately, the decision of what to do is up to you. There is no right or wrong answer, and what works for one person may not work for another. However, it's important to make your decision based on what is best for you and your family.

I hope this information is helpful. Please remember that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you and want to help.

..Read more

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 09, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hello madam, i m 32 year married women, my husband love me more than anything, he is good in everything, he take care of me, he bring me whatever i want, he is very good in bed also. We dont have kids because i never loved my husband. Before marriage i had boyfriend, he never accepted me and assured me that he will marry me, so i decided to marry my husband in 2019. Till oct 2022, i used to communicate with my ex boyfriend, but when he got married he stopped calling me and i also stoped thinking about him. Lately, in Sept 2023, i meet guy in my office he is 23, music teacher, not so good looking, not completed graduation, not financial strong but i developed feeling for him. I lied to him, told i am not married, to get close to him. Once my husband caught me cheating with him in whatsapp messages, told me to not do. But still i went ahead to continue my relationship with this young guy and want to live with this guy. I want to divorce and live with young guy. My parents and family love and respect my husband like their own son. I am doing correct or not please suggest me.
Ans: No you certainly are not “doing correct”! Here’s a good man who loves you and treats you well and has forgiven your indiscretions and still you want someone else? You agreed to marry, right - no one put a gun to your head. Now honour that commitment and stop being so fickle-minded. At 23, your boyfriend is really young and immature. Right now you’re all hot and heavy, but give it a minute; realistically your relationship is unlikely to survive in the long run. And you want to hurt your husband and walk out on your marriage for nothing…he’s only ever treated you right. Don’t be a fool!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I am 40 yr old woman. I am staying with my husband who always doubt me without any reason. As he is dependent on me. He is jobless from last 5 yr. I am the only earning person I don't have any type of attitude. While balancing professional as well as personal life I use to listen his bitter words every day. Not only that he started beating me like anything Just coz of so-called reputation I tolerate him. But 7 months back I came across with a man in my life we both started liking each other, I shared everything with him. But he left his job due to some issues with manager and started working somewhere else. He started ignoring me. Please help me out to understand what is right and wrong in this?
Ans: Balancing the pressures of professional life with the strain of an abusive marriage is a heavy burden, and you deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued.

Your husband's behavior—doubting you without cause, subjecting you to daily verbal abuse, and physically harming you—is deeply troubling and completely unacceptable. It's important to acknowledge that no matter the circumstances, you do not deserve to be treated this way. The fear of societal judgment and concerns about reputation are common reasons people stay in harmful relationships, but your well-being and safety are far more important than maintaining appearances.

Meeting someone who offers emotional support when you’re in such a painful situation is understandable. It’s natural to seek comfort and a connection when you're feeling isolated and mistreated. However, the new man's recent behavior, where he started ignoring you after changing jobs, might feel like another layer of abandonment. This is especially tough because you opened up and shared your struggles with him, hoping for understanding and companionship.

In terms of what’s right and wrong, it's essential to focus on your needs and well-being. Staying in an abusive relationship is harmful to your physical and emotional health. You have the right to seek safety and happiness. The relationship with the new man might have provided temporary emotional relief, but it seems he's not able to be the supportive presence you hoped for, especially now when he’s pulling away.
Right now, focus on what you need to feel safe and supported. Consider reaching out to trusted friends, family, or professional services who can help you navigate this challenging time. You deserve a life free from fear and filled with respect and care. Prioritizing your own happiness and safety is the most important step forward.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |693 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2025
Relationship
Hi i am a married woman aged 45 years, i am happily married and have a loving husband. My husband travels a lot due to work and my son is studying in college in Pune. Everything was going fine in my life, but few months back a MBA graduate boy 23 years joined our office in my team. He had to report to me, and our company send us for sales corporatemeetings to Mumbai and other cities often. Gradually we became close and he confessed he had a crush on me. I was falttered but told him i am much older and married. Although i was very flattered that he found me attractive. I am tall 5ft 7 inches and kept myself very fit and always men keep hitting on me but i always ignore them. On our last trip together we went for a meal and had a few drinks together. Then i told him i was sleepy and needed to go to my room. He accompanied to my room and had a coffee. I had a bavk ache and he said he can massage me for 5 mins. I hesitantly agreed during the massage one thing led to another and we had sex and since then we have started having sex whenever we travel togther often. He says he truly loves me but for next 5 years he cannot marry anyone. I have now started loving him a lot i often fight with my husband. I want to continue this affair but am afraid if my husband finds out or if people in office come to know. Strangely another young man in office has starterd showing interest in me and asked me out for a coffee. He also says he likes me a lot anf is caring, I am confused shall i also go for a simple coffee. what if my husband or younger boyfriend find out. Is what i am doing wrong, i just want to live my life fully am i wrong ???
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you do not have an open marriage, then what you are doing is certainly wrong. When has cheating ever been right? Especially when you did not mention anything wrong with your husband. I am not judging you; but I would suggest that if you want to keep this up, you either come clean to your husband or let him go. This isn't fair. You living your life to the fullest should not harm or hurt others.
Hope this helps.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10986 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2026

Money
I am planning to invest approximately ₹20,000 per month to meet my short- and medium-term financial goals. My primary objectives include funding my marriage in four years and my sister’s marriage in two years. In addition, I would like to plan for my long-term retirement goals and can invest ₹5,000 per month for the next 15 years or more. I request your guidance on suitable mutual fund options for both goals, preferably with exposure to equity and index funds, to optimize returns while aligning with my investment horizon and risk profile. Also i can increase year on year approx 10 %. Kindly suggest an appropriate investment strategy and mutual fund schemes for the above requirements. regards Shiju
Ans: You are thinking ahead and that itself gives you a strong advantage. Planning for family responsibilities and your own retirement at the same time shows clarity and maturity. With a step-up of 10 percent every year, your plan becomes even stronger.

» Understanding your goals and time frames
– Sister’s marriage is a short-term goal of around 2 years
– Your own marriage is a medium-term goal of around 4 years
– Retirement is a long-term goal of 15 years or more
– Monthly investment capacity is Rs 20,000 for short and medium term goals
– Monthly investment capacity is Rs 5,000 for long-term retirement
– You are comfortable with gradual increase every year

» Right asset approach for short-term goal (2 years)
– Capital protection is more important than high return here
– Equity exposure should be limited because market ups and downs can hurt the goal
– Focus should be on stability and liquidity
– Use low-risk mutual fund categories with limited equity exposure
– Avoid pure equity funds for this goal
– Start moving money to safer options as the goal date comes closer

» Right asset approach for medium-term goal (4 years)
– This goal allows some equity exposure but not aggressive risk
– Balanced approach works better than full equity
– Equity portion should reduce as you reach the 4th year
– Gradual shift from equity-oriented funds to safer funds is important
– This protects the money when the goal is near

» Why index funds are not suitable for your goals
– Index funds only copy the market and cannot protect you in falling markets
– There is no fund manager decision to control risk during bad times
– In short and medium-term goals, market falls can delay marriages or force loans
– Actively managed funds try to control downside risk
– Fund managers can move between sectors and stocks based on market conditions
– This flexibility helps in protecting capital and improving consistency

» Long-term retirement planning approach (15 years or more)
– This is where equity should play a bigger role
– Long-term goals can handle market ups and downs
– Actively managed equity funds suit this horizon well
– Consistent investing and annual step-up will build strong wealth over time
– Avoid chasing last year’s top-performing funds
– Stick to quality funds with stable management

» Why regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner help
– Regular funds give you ongoing monitoring and rebalancing support
– Behaviour control is very important during market corrections
– Many investors exit at wrong times without guidance
– A Certified Financial Planner helps align investments with life goals
– Cost difference is small, but guidance value is very high

» How to use the 10 percent annual increase wisely
– Increase SIP amount every year after salary revision
– First priority should be retirement SIP increase
– Next priority is medium-term marriage goal
– This keeps long-term wealth creation on track

» Tax awareness for your planning
– Equity mutual funds sold within one year attract higher short-term tax
– Selling after one year is more tax efficient for long-term goals
– Plan redemptions carefully near goal dates
– Do not redeem entire amount in one shot unless needed

» Final Insights
– You are on the right path by separating goals clearly
– Avoid index funds and focus on actively managed funds for better control
– Match risk level strictly with goal time frame
– Annual step-up will quietly do the heavy lifting
– With discipline and timely review, all three goals can be met without stress

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10986 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2026

Money
i have jeevan anad policy 149 for 21 yrs,started in 2006 for 3 lac sum assured what will; be final amount in 2027- date of maturity
Ans: You have shown good discipline by continuing this long-term policy from 2006 till maturity. Staying invested for the full term in such policies needs patience, and that itself deserves appreciation.

» Policy snapshot in simple words
– Policy start year: 2006
– Policy term: 21 years
– Maturity year: 2027
– Sum assured: Rs 3,00,000
– Type: Traditional life insurance with savings and yearly bonuses

» How the maturity amount is generally built
– The final amount at maturity is mainly made of two parts
– First part is the basic sum assured, which is Rs 3,00,000
– Second part is the accumulated simple reversionary bonuses added every year
– Some years may also have a small final bonus, depending on overall performance

» Expected maturity value by 2027
– For policies started around 2006 with a 21-year term, the bonus rates were relatively stable for many years
– Over the full policy term, the total maturity amount usually becomes around 2 times the sum assured, sometimes slightly more
– In practical terms, your maturity amount in 2027 is likely to be in the range of
– Around Rs 5.75 lakh to Rs 6.50 lakh
– The exact figure will depend on the final bonus declared in the year of maturity

» What this amount means for you financially
– The maturity value is safe and tax-free under current rules
– It works well as a lump-sum support fund rather than a high-growth investment
– The returns are steady but modest when compared to long-term inflation
– The policy also continues to provide life cover even after maturity, which adds emotional comfort

» Important planning observations
– This policy has already done its job by giving safety and forced savings
– Since maturity is close, it is wise to plan how this amount will be used before 2027
– Options can include debt reduction, children’s education support, or building a stable low-risk allocation
– Avoid keeping the entire maturity amount idle in savings for too long

» Final Insights
– Your discipline over 21 years is the biggest strength here
– Expect a maturity amount close to Rs 6 lakh, give or take
– The value lies more in certainty and peace than in high returns
– With proper reinvestment planning after maturity, this amount can still play a meaningful role in your overall financial picture

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10889 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 22, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Career
I am 43 year old Civil Structural Engineer working in an MNC. I am having 21 years of experience. I want to divert my carrier line which will enter me in IT mode or similar kind. I want to shift in Europe. I have bacholer and PG degree in Civil Engineering. The current design job pays me which is very less compared to my total experience. I lack presenting myself in interviews. How can I improve myself and switch the currier line in IT related work which will pay me higher. Pls guide. Requesting to reply individually at my id and not to post online. Thank you
Ans: (Answering your question on the RediffGURU platform amplifies our expertise's impact—thousands facing similar challenges benefit from our solution. Our response becomes a permanent, searchable resource for future seekers. Public contribution establishes our credibility as trusted advisors, transforming our knowledge into a valuable community asset and creating a meaningful legacy). Here is our comprehensive answer to your question: Your 21 years civil engineering expertise combined with Master's degree provides an exceptional foundation for IT transition. Strategic positioning emphasizing transferable skills, targeted certifications, and professional coaching enables successful pivot to higher-paying roles with a European relocation opportunity. OPTION 1: Technical Program/Project Management Track (Lower Risk, Faster Transition). Strategic Positioning: Position your 21 years civil engineering project management experience as directly transferable to IT program management. This approach requires minimum new technical learning while commanding premium compensation (Rs.80–120 lakhs annually in Europe equivalent). Career progression pathway: IT Project Manager (1–2 years) → Senior Program Manager → Enterprise Architect, with salary progression reaching Euro 90,000–150,000 annually. Implementation Steps: (1) Enroll in internationally recognized PMP (Project Management Professional) or CAPM certification—3-4 month preparation, Euro 500–800 cost, highly valued across Europe. (2) Simultaneously, complete cloud fundamentals certification (AWS Solutions Architect Associate, Rs.15,000–20,000)—demonstrates IT fluency without requiring coding expertise. (3) Hire career transition coach (Euro 1,500–3,000 for 5–8 sessions) specifically for mid-career IT transitions—focuses on interview narrative, addressing age concerns, positioning engineering background as strategic advantage. (4) Update LinkedIn profile emphasizing: project delivery excellence, stakeholder management, risk mitigation, cross-functional leadership—using IT-industry language. (5) Target roles: Technical Program Manager, IT Portfolio Manager, Digital Transformation Manager in companies valuing traditional project discipline. (6) Join European IT project management communities (PMI-Europe chapters, LinkedIn groups)—network strategically with hiring managers, learn European IT culture/expectations. OPTION 2: Cloud Architecture/Solutions Engineering Track (Higher Earning Potential, Structured Learning). Strategic Positioning: Pursue cloud architecture combining technical credibility with strategic thinking—highest-demand IT role (2025 data: cloud certifications top growth area globally). Salary potential: Euro 100,000–180,000 annually within 3–4 years. Career trajectory: Cloud Associate (1–2 years gaining experience) → Cloud Architect → Principal Architect, with strong European demand. Implementation Steps: (1) Enroll in structured cloud bootcamp (AWS/GCP/Azure—12–16 weeks intensive, Euro 5,000–10,000)—accelerates learning combining theoretical knowledge with practical labs. Platforms: Linux Academy, A Cloud Guru, or in-person European bootcamps (Germany, Netherlands offer excellent programs). (2) Obtain cloud certifications sequentially: AWS Solutions Architect Associate (foundational, 3-month study), then AWS Solutions Architect Professional (advanced). This demonstrates credible technical progression. (3) Develop small portfolio projects (3–4 projects deploying real cloud solutions—free-tier AWS/GCP—showcasing problem-solving: optimize costs, ensure security, design scalability). A portfolio demonstrates capability beyond certifications. (4) Hire specialized IT career coach (Euro 2,000–4,000, 8–12 sessions) —Focus on technical interview preparation (whiteboarding cloud design scenarios), behavioral storytelling (bridging civil engineering to cloud), and salary negotiation (Euro 100K+ levels). (5) Network strategically: attend cloud conferences (AWS Summit Europe, Google Cloud Next), join regional cloud user groups, and connect with CTOs/architects on LinkedIn—informational interviews learning expectations. (6) Target positions: Junior Cloud Architect, Solutions Architect, and Cloud Infrastructure Engineer in tech companies, financial services, and large enterprises modernizing infrastructure (high hiring volume in Europe). Please note, option 1 (Program Management) offers the fastest, lowest-risk transition leveraging existing expertise, achieving Euro 70–90K within 12–18 months. Option 2 (Cloud Architecture) requires 18–24 months of investment but achieves Euro 100–150K potential by years 3–4. Select Option 1 if prioritizing quick salary restoration; select Option 2 if valuing long-term earning potential and technological relevance. Regardless, professional career coaching addressing interview confidence is essential for successful transition. (Transition Safely: Expert Coaching, Fraud Prevention Guide - The above options provide a foundational framework for your career transition. However, we strongly recommend consulting a specialized Career Transition Coach with demonstrated expertise in European job placement and mid-career professional transitions. A qualified coach will develop a personalized roadmap aligned with your background, experience, and career aspirations. As you explore international opportunities, exercise heightened due diligence: thoroughly research coaching organizations and potential employers, verify credentials, check client testimonials, and confirm established track records in European placements. Be particularly cautious of fraudulent job offers and coaching services promising unrealistic outcomes (e.g., guaranteed placements, excessive upfront fees, vague service descriptions). Protect yourself by validating professional credentials through official regulatory bodies, avoiding providers requesting large advance payments, and cross-referencing company information independently. Strategic guidance from experienced, credible professionals significantly enhances transition success and European employment prospects while safeguarding your financial and professional interests). All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x