Hi Gurus, I am 40yrs Female. I have 2 kids. Daughter is 12yrs and Son is 11 yrs. Because of kids we hardly have sex 1-2 times in a month. My husband is a nice person and he is ok in bed(sometimes satisfying and sometimes not). Since 5 yrs I have been chatting with my Ex-colleague who is 28 yrs unmarried. Recently he proposed me for sex. I said ok but I am afraid of getting caught. Please Gurus suggest me what to do.

Ans: At 32, starting with Rs. 5,000 monthly SIP is a good first step. Building wealth requires a structured approach to saving and investing. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you achieve financial stability and growth.

Assessing Your Current Situation
You have no financial backing, so an emergency fund is critical.

Your monthly SIP indicates discipline in investing.

Prioritising goals and systematic planning will strengthen your finances.

Step 1: Establish an Emergency Fund
Save at least 6 months' worth of monthly expenses in a liquid fund or savings account.

Allocate a fixed portion of your income every month for this purpose.

Emergency funds should be easily accessible but not used for routine expenses.

Step 2: Manage Expenses Effectively
Create a monthly budget to track income and expenses.

Identify unnecessary expenses and redirect the savings towards investments.

Follow the 50-30-20 rule:

50% for necessities (rent, food, bills).
30% for discretionary spending (entertainment, hobbies).
20% for savings and investments.
Step 3: Continue and Enhance SIP Contributions
Your Rs. 5,000 SIP in equity mutual funds is a good start.

Gradually increase the SIP amount as your income grows.

Choose funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.

Step 4: Diversify Your Investments
Equity Mutual Funds

Continue investing in actively managed funds for long-term growth.
Focus on funds with consistent performance over 5-10 years.
Debt Funds or Fixed Deposits

Allocate a portion to safer instruments for stability.
These options can balance risk in your portfolio.
PPF (Public Provident Fund)

Open a PPF account for tax-saving benefits and long-term compounding.
Invest a fixed amount annually to build a secure retirement corpus.
Gold for Wealth Protection

Allocate a small percentage (5-10%) to gold (SGB or gold mutual funds).
Gold acts as a hedge against inflation.
Step 5: Focus on Insurance and Risk Coverage
Purchase a term insurance policy with adequate coverage (10-15 times your annual income).

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance to cover medical emergencies.

Avoid investment-cum-insurance policies as they deliver low returns.

Step 6: Plan for Long-Term Goals
Define specific financial goals like buying a house, retirement, or children's education.

Assign timelines and cost estimates to each goal.

Invest in equity for long-term goals (10+ years) and debt for short-term goals (1-3 years).

Step 7: Tax-Saving Investments
Use Section 80C instruments like ELSS, PPF, or NPS to save taxes.

ELSS funds provide equity exposure with tax benefits under Section 80C.

Avoid locking excessive funds in low-return tax-saving options.

Step 8: Automate Savings and Investments
Set up auto-debit for SIPs and savings to maintain consistency.

Automating investments reduces the temptation to spend unnecessarily.

Step 9: Regular Monitoring and Review
Review your portfolio every 6 months to track performance.

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the right asset allocation.

Avoid frequent fund switching, as it may impact long-term returns.

Final Insights
Starting with limited resources can feel challenging but is achievable with discipline. Build an emergency fund, manage expenses wisely, and grow your investments systematically. Consult a Certified Financial Planner to optimise your portfolio and achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It might be some form of commitment issue- Someone who reciprocates your feelings might create a sense of pressure or demand for emotional closeness.

One more common cause can be the thrill of chasing. You might like to conquer people's love; the chase thrills you. The act of trying to win someone's attention is more exciting than the certainty of someone's love.

Or you might be having avoidant issues, where you pull away as soon as someone shows real emotions.

In any case, ask yourself why you feel uncomfortable when someone shows their emotions to you. Self-reflection can help you solve this puzzle. Also, it is okay to explore connections without wanting to become exclusive partners. That is also a great way of understanding what you want or don't want. You can take small steps like consciously staying in touch with people who are showing interest in you. That does not mean you have to force yourself to commit to them; just don't disappear on them. The best thing would be to seek counseling. It can help you a lot and sort out this issue before it sets in and creates real problems in finding love.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I remember answering your question once. If I am not wrong, I had asked you to give him the benefit of the doubt and wait a little while longer. In case he is still acting the same way, there might be reason to worry. I can't advise you any further without knowing some more details.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let me ask you one thing, if you knew a plane was going to crash, would you still get on it because you are worried you will reach your destination late? No, right? Similarly, if you know this marriage could be really tough on you, with the added responsibilities of a teenager and another soon-to-be teenager, do you still want to go ahead with it, just because you might have to stay alone for a while longer?

I can't really make a decision for you, but I can urge you to rethink this alliance. It's great that you are trying to compromise but do not compromise so much that nothing that you want is given any importance. You cannot ask a father to send his child to a hostel so that you can have some privacy; similarly, no one can force you to raise him as well. The best decision would be to either reconsider the relationship or have an open conversation and come to a middle ground that works for all.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Loyalty is not rare in today’s day and age. I am sorry that you didn’t find someone who was to you, but it would be unfair to generalize. Now, coming to the more important point, financial stability is extremely important to maintain a happy marriage or even to have a happy life. Monetary troubles can add unnecessary burdens in life.

If you are unsure about getting married, it's best to wait a little and go forward with it only when you feel ready for such a commitment.

You mentioned you do not want to continue your job- do you plan on starting some other venture? I am a little unclear on this. Moreover, in today's day and age, it is almost essential for both partners to earn to live a decent life.
I hope these will help you.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is important for you to need to know her past and you mentioned that you merely want to know, and would not judge. But judging is exactly what you are doing. A lot of people have exes, a lot of people have occasional drinks- we can't judge people based on their past. She has opened up to you and all you are doing is snooping around. To be honest, it seems like you are really more concerned about her ex and past than about how amazing a person she is. I have only one piece of advice, if you think you can't get past her past, let her go. No one deserves to be judged by their past.

And think of it this way- you asked, and she told you. She was not obliged to, but still understanding your 'need' to know 'everything,' she confided in you. And this is how you are paying her back. Moreover, so what if she had an ex, or dated casually? How does that affect you right now? Ask yourself the same question and I think you will know the answer to your own dilemma.

Having said it all, marriage is a big decision. If you think her past can hamper your future, please rethink this relationship. It is best for both of you.

Best Wishes

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand why she is worried- it’s societal expectation and the made up concept of what makes a woman “perfect” and “desirable.” I don’t see how she can be doing “wrong with her future husband.” But I understand where this concern is stemming from; the answer is much more complex than a simple yes or no. For instance, if her future partner wants to know the truth and she decides to lie, it won't be fair. Or if the concept of chastity matters absurdly too much to her future partner, then it won't be fair. Otherwise, to get intimate or not is a very personal choice, and one is not more right than the other. I would suggest avoiding anyone who places an absurd amount of importance on people’s past and the concept of virginity.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Hello;

Utilise NSC and PPF balance to settle outstanding home loan.

Your MF, Stocks and PF holding add upto 1.35 Cr.

You may buy immediate annuity for this corpus(1.35 Cr) from a life insurance company. Assuming 6% annuity rate you may expect a post tax monthly income of around 60 K.

This when added to rental income of 43 K from your real estate assets will led to a comprehensive monthly income of 1 L+.

The rental income can be hiked to adjust for inflation.

You may retain 5-7 L as emergency fund while balance amount of FD may be used to top-up the annuity income in future.

Do buy good health insurance covering yourself and your family.

Also consider making will to ensure smooth transfer of your wealth to your heirs.

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

Ans: Your current corpus of Rs. 1.8 crore in mutual funds and Rs. 1 crore in PF is significant. The additional Rs. 2 crore in properties adds to your wealth but doesn’t provide immediate liquidity. Let us evaluate if your corpus will sustain your post-retirement expense of Rs. 2 lakh per month.

Estimating Post-Retirement Corpus Requirement
You plan to retire in 2 years, at age 51.

Assuming a life expectancy of 85 years, the corpus needs to last for 34 years.

An expense of Rs. 2 lakh per month means Rs. 24 lakh annually.

Adjust this amount for inflation to calculate future needs.

Current Investment Contributions
Your Rs. 70,000 monthly SIP builds your corpus over the next 2 years.

SIPs offer rupee cost averaging, reducing market volatility impact.

Assess the fund performance regularly to maximise growth.

Diversification of Investments
Your corpus is spread across mutual funds, PF, and properties.

PF provides a stable, fixed return but lacks flexibility.

Properties offer wealth accumulation but are less liquid for immediate needs.

Mutual funds remain a primary source of liquidity and growth post-retirement.

Evaluating Monthly Withdrawals Post-Retirement
Withdrawals should balance your monthly expenses and ensure corpus longevity.

Avoid withdrawing large amounts in the early years of retirement.

Consider a mix of equity and debt mutual funds for withdrawal strategies.

Role of Inflation and Healthcare Costs
Factor in inflation’s effect on expenses over 30+ years.

A 6% inflation rate doubles your monthly expense in 12 years.

Allocate for increasing healthcare costs with age.

Importance of Emergency and Medical Coverage
Keep at least 6 months' expenses in a liquid fund for emergencies.

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance for unexpected medical costs.

Tax Efficiency in Withdrawals
Equity mutual funds' LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Debt fund returns are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Plan withdrawals to minimise tax liability on gains.

Active Funds vs. Direct Funds
Actively managed funds optimise returns by responding to market changes.

Direct funds lack professional support, affecting long-term efficiency.

Work with a Certified Financial Planner to select regular funds.

Disadvantages of Relying on Real Estate
Properties are illiquid and may take time to convert to cash.

Rental income may not cover Rs. 2 lakh monthly expenses reliably.

Maintenance and property taxes further reduce returns.

Recommendations for Portfolio Restructuring
Increase Allocation to Growth Assets

Continue SIPs in equity mutual funds for growth potential.

Review funds for consistent performance and portfolio alignment.

Add Balanced and Debt Funds for Stability

Include balanced advantage and debt funds for steady income.

Debt funds reduce overall portfolio risk.

Plan a Withdrawal Strategy

Use the SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) for predictable income.

Withdraw from equity funds after 3 years for tax efficiency.

Avoid Over-reliance on PF and Real Estate

PF offers safety but limited returns.

Use properties strategically for potential downsizing or sale.

Final Insights
You are on track to retire comfortably, provided you optimise your investments. Plan your withdrawals carefully, factoring in inflation and tax efficiency. Work with a Certified Financial Planner to refine your portfolio and achieve your goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment