Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi one of my married friend having 02 children (son approx - 11 yrs and daughter - 8 yrs ). He have a lot of love and care for his family and he take care of every need of the family. But suddenly he fall in love with his companion girl who is single (widow) and have a daughter of 11 yrs approximately. They oftenly meet with each other even have intimate a lot of time. Now he or she only have a relationship which is never acceptable and both of them not want to leave their families. However they just never felt uncomfortable to each other in their personal life and take of each other like husband wife. But my friend afraid of his personal life as if his wife will know their relationship she never accept it. Moreover it will hamper their personal life also. But as of now both females are happy with him coz his wife didn't know about their relationship. Will he still continue the relationship as neither he leave her female partner nor his wife. He takes care of both of them very comfortably. Kindly suggest upon it.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you want to know whether your friend will continue having his extramarital affair. It is difficult for me to tell, but if he is morally okay and guilt free to cheat on his wife, the mother of his two kids, it is possible that he will continue with the relationship until something blows up, i.e., his wife finds out or his girlfriend backs out. I don't see how that is ethically correct from any possible angle.

Best Wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Hi Kanchan I just want to know that i fried needs sex daily without fail twice. but suddenly his wife stop due to health, but he wants. after some times he search for alternative and have in once in a month but same day for multiple times. now wife is good in health conditions and she wants. my question is should my friend should leave alternative where he is involved and have sex with wife. he is much confused, but he wants sex.
Ans: It's essential for your friend to communicate openly and honestly with his spouse about his desires and concerns. Maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship within a marriage often depends on effective communication and understanding between both partners.

Your friend should discuss his needs and feelings with his wife. It's crucial for them to address any issues related to their sexual relationship openly. They may consider compromising and finding ways to meet each other's needs and desires. If your friend and his wife are both willing to work together to improve their intimacy, they can potentially find a solution that works for both of them.

Leaving an alternative sexual relationship can be a complicated decision that your friend should make in consultation with his spouse and with careful consideration of the emotional and ethical aspects of the situation. It's important to prioritize their relationship and work on their intimacy issues together. If needed, they can also seek the help of a qualified therapist or counselor to assist them in resolving these issues.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Thanks a lot mam for your detailed reply. Even I felt the same and advised him to move on and find someone more trustworthy. But my friend is concerned about his kids especially his daughter's future considering the societal norms and taboos. He says if they get divorced his daughter might have to face difficulty while finding an alliance in future. He is also skeptical about whether the new partner will take care of his children like her own as most of the women don't treat their step children with love and care. He s also worried about the entire divorce process as his wife is not agreeing for a mutual divorce and he says even if he applies for a contested divorce it will prolong for years and during this period he s worried about his children's growth and education which will be affected badly.... Considering all these and also his in laws request for forgiving their daughter and giving her a new life , my friend is thinking about giving his wife one last chance . However he s telling that he will not accept her as his wife but will take her only as his kids mother .. He says he will sacrifice his personal happiness and keep her with him only for his kids sake but will never trust her in future. My concern is whether this relationship will stay for long this way....And what is the probability that his wife will not cheat him again because of my friend's indifferent attitude towards her since she has cheated on him twice when he was living her so much... And whether trust can be rebuilt between them after some if she remains loyal to him from now...Kindly provide me insights on above concerns to help my friend...Also suggest me a good professional counsellor to take him for counselling.
Ans: I understand how challenging and painful this situation is for your friend. His concerns about his children's future, societal norms, and the impact of a potential new partner are all very real and valid.

He's worried about how a divorce might affect his daughter’s future, especially considering societal attitudes. While it's true that divorce can carry a stigma in some cultures, it's important to remember that society's views are slowly changing. More people now understand that the quality of the home environment is far more important than whether parents stay together despite significant issues. Children raised in a loving, stable home, even if it’s a single-parent one, often fare better than those who grow up amidst conflict and distrust.

Your friend is also understandably concerned about how a new partner might treat his children. Blended families can face challenges, and not every step-parent bonds well with their partner's children. However, there are many instances where step-parents build loving, supportive relationships. Taking the time to find someone who genuinely respects and cares for his kids is crucial.

Considering his wife’s threats and the prolonged nature of a contested divorce, he’s caught between maintaining a stable environment for his children and protecting his own emotional health. Divorce is tough and can be particularly challenging for children, but living in a household where there's no trust and emotional connection can be just as damaging, if not more so.

If he decides to give his wife another chance for the sake of the children, it's essential to set clear boundaries and perhaps seek professional help. But, given that she has broken his trust twice, it's natural for him to be skeptical about whether she can truly change. Living together merely as co-parents without rebuilding trust may create a cold, unloving environment that children will sense and be affected by.

Rebuilding trust after such betrayals is incredibly difficult and requires a lot of effort and transparency. If he chooses this path, it should involve both of them working towards healing, possibly with the guidance of a therapist. However, it’s also critical for him to consider his own mental health and whether staying in a trustless marriage is sustainable or healthy for him and his children.

Encouraging him to seek professional counseling can provide him with support and clarity. A qualified therapist can help him navigate these complex emotions and make the best decision for his family's future. Services like BetterHelp or local therapists listed on platforms like Psychology Today can be great resources to find professional support.

Your friend is in a very tough spot, trying to balance his children's well-being with his own emotional needs. It's a difficult journey, but with your support and the right guidance, he can find a path that prioritizes his and his children’s well-being.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x