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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |431 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 02, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi one of my married friend having 02 children (son approx - 11 yrs and daughter - 8 yrs ). He have a lot of love and care for his family and he take care of every need of the family. But suddenly he fall in love with his companion girl who is single (widow) and have a daughter of 11 yrs approximately. They oftenly meet with each other even have intimate a lot of time. Now he or she only have a relationship which is never acceptable and both of them not want to leave their families. However they just never felt uncomfortable to each other in their personal life and take of each other like husband wife. But my friend afraid of his personal life as if his wife will know their relationship she never accept it. Moreover it will hamper their personal life also. But as of now both females are happy with him coz his wife didn't know about their relationship. Will he still continue the relationship as neither he leave her female partner nor his wife. He takes care of both of them very comfortably. Kindly suggest upon it.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you want to know whether your friend will continue having his extramarital affair. It is difficult for me to tell, but if he is morally okay and guilt free to cheat on his wife, the mother of his two kids, it is possible that he will continue with the relationship until something blows up, i.e., his wife finds out or his girlfriend backs out. I don't see how that is ethically correct from any possible angle.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2022

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Relationship
 Hi I’m 40 yrs now and. I have a male friend of 23 years old we r good friends. I helped him financially and emotionally and take care of his house his expenses and he too is good but I love him as I have feelings for him but he is more into girls. Initially I managed all his things but he is now into serious relationship with a girl and also wants to marry her but I’m unable to digest that. I know he is right he is moving ahead in life but I’m struck there loving him and he also wants to make his career and be with me, go abroad. We both want to plan to go together but I’m worried as will I tolerate him in all this aspects? Will I see him happy with someone else whom he loves? Should I ignore his relationship and focus on our friendship which is hard. Don’t know what to do kindly suggest plz.
Ans:

Dear JH,

Hang on! Let’s get all the facts right here…

1. He loves you and you love him
2. You supported him financially and emotionally
3. He also wants to be with other girls
4. He is currently in a relationship with another girl and also claims that he will travel abroad
5. You both plan to be together

Did I get all the facts right?

Take a step back and just figure out if he is just missing a ‘Mother Figure’ in his life and if he is actually thinking of you as one.

That’s what you will always be to him if that is the case. Watch how you are playing with your emotions here as whatever be the age, when a heart breaks, it really does break!

Ask yourself: What is it that I am getting from this relationship? Is it love, it is eliminating loneliness, is it validation OR is it you wanting to share love that you have?

These are not reasons enough to be with a person and lock your emotions with. The future is always unknown and uncertain but delve into your heart and simply ask: Do I really want to test the waters OR Do I create my life the way that I want on my own terms as a 40-year old who is complete charge of life? You will clearly get your answer.

All the best and create a beautiful life for yourself.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2023

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Relationship
Hi Kanchan I just want to know that i fried needs sex daily without fail twice. but suddenly his wife stop due to health, but he wants. after some times he search for alternative and have in once in a month but same day for multiple times. now wife is good in health conditions and she wants. my question is should my friend should leave alternative where he is involved and have sex with wife. he is much confused, but he wants sex.
Ans: It's essential for your friend to communicate openly and honestly with his spouse about his desires and concerns. Maintaining a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship within a marriage often depends on effective communication and understanding between both partners.

Your friend should discuss his needs and feelings with his wife. It's crucial for them to address any issues related to their sexual relationship openly. They may consider compromising and finding ways to meet each other's needs and desires. If your friend and his wife are both willing to work together to improve their intimacy, they can potentially find a solution that works for both of them.

Leaving an alternative sexual relationship can be a complicated decision that your friend should make in consultation with his spouse and with careful consideration of the emotional and ethical aspects of the situation. It's important to prioritize their relationship and work on their intimacy issues together. If needed, they can also seek the help of a qualified therapist or counselor to assist them in resolving these issues.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

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Relationship
Thanks a lot mam for your detailed reply. Even I felt the same and advised him to move on and find someone more trustworthy. But my friend is concerned about his kids especially his daughter's future considering the societal norms and taboos. He says if they get divorced his daughter might have to face difficulty while finding an alliance in future. He is also skeptical about whether the new partner will take care of his children like her own as most of the women don't treat their step children with love and care. He s also worried about the entire divorce process as his wife is not agreeing for a mutual divorce and he says even if he applies for a contested divorce it will prolong for years and during this period he s worried about his children's growth and education which will be affected badly.... Considering all these and also his in laws request for forgiving their daughter and giving her a new life , my friend is thinking about giving his wife one last chance . However he s telling that he will not accept her as his wife but will take her only as his kids mother .. He says he will sacrifice his personal happiness and keep her with him only for his kids sake but will never trust her in future. My concern is whether this relationship will stay for long this way....And what is the probability that his wife will not cheat him again because of my friend's indifferent attitude towards her since she has cheated on him twice when he was living her so much... And whether trust can be rebuilt between them after some if she remains loyal to him from now...Kindly provide me insights on above concerns to help my friend...Also suggest me a good professional counsellor to take him for counselling.
Ans: I understand how challenging and painful this situation is for your friend. His concerns about his children's future, societal norms, and the impact of a potential new partner are all very real and valid.

He's worried about how a divorce might affect his daughter’s future, especially considering societal attitudes. While it's true that divorce can carry a stigma in some cultures, it's important to remember that society's views are slowly changing. More people now understand that the quality of the home environment is far more important than whether parents stay together despite significant issues. Children raised in a loving, stable home, even if it’s a single-parent one, often fare better than those who grow up amidst conflict and distrust.

Your friend is also understandably concerned about how a new partner might treat his children. Blended families can face challenges, and not every step-parent bonds well with their partner's children. However, there are many instances where step-parents build loving, supportive relationships. Taking the time to find someone who genuinely respects and cares for his kids is crucial.

Considering his wife’s threats and the prolonged nature of a contested divorce, he’s caught between maintaining a stable environment for his children and protecting his own emotional health. Divorce is tough and can be particularly challenging for children, but living in a household where there's no trust and emotional connection can be just as damaging, if not more so.

If he decides to give his wife another chance for the sake of the children, it's essential to set clear boundaries and perhaps seek professional help. But, given that she has broken his trust twice, it's natural for him to be skeptical about whether she can truly change. Living together merely as co-parents without rebuilding trust may create a cold, unloving environment that children will sense and be affected by.

Rebuilding trust after such betrayals is incredibly difficult and requires a lot of effort and transparency. If he chooses this path, it should involve both of them working towards healing, possibly with the guidance of a therapist. However, it’s also critical for him to consider his own mental health and whether staying in a trustless marriage is sustainable or healthy for him and his children.

Encouraging him to seek professional counseling can provide him with support and clarity. A qualified therapist can help him navigate these complex emotions and make the best decision for his family's future. Services like BetterHelp or local therapists listed on platforms like Psychology Today can be great resources to find professional support.

Your friend is in a very tough spot, trying to balance his children's well-being with his own emotional needs. It's a difficult journey, but with your support and the right guidance, he can find a path that prioritizes his and his children’s well-being.

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Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 24, 2024Hindi
Relationship
How can an elder man attract young women
Ans: Attracting someone, regardless of age, begins with authenticity and mutual respect. If an older man is interested in forming a connection with a younger woman, it’s important to focus on qualities that foster meaningful relationships. Younger women are often drawn to the stability, confidence, and life experience that an older man can bring to the table, but the key lies in presenting these qualities without pretense or arrogance.

Confidence rooted in self-awareness and emotional maturity can be particularly appealing. This doesn’t mean showing off achievements or wealth, but rather displaying a genuine sense of self and clarity about what you want in life. Emotional maturity—expressed through kindness, patience, and good communication—creates a safe and engaging space for meaningful interactions.

Equally important is the ability to connect on a deeper level. Shared interests, respect for her individuality, and a willingness to engage with her worldview go a long way. Relationships thrive when both individuals feel valued and heard. An older man should approach a younger woman with curiosity about her experiences and aspirations, while also offering his perspective in a way that enriches the connection rather than dominating it.

It’s also crucial to approach such a dynamic with an understanding of potential societal perceptions. While age-gap relationships are increasingly accepted, they often come with assumptions or judgments. The foundation of a strong relationship in this context lies in ensuring that the connection feels equal, mutually respectful, and free of power imbalances.

Finally, maintaining physical and emotional health contributes to overall attractiveness. When a man prioritizes his wellbeing, it not only enhances his confidence but also signals that he values himself and his relationships. Attraction in any relationship is multifaceted, involving both external qualities and the inner richness of character.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |407 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2024
Relationship
I was in a relationship with a boy(he is 35 yrs old man, and a lawyer but not practising in a court, he had a lot of relationship during our relationship and after break up , He had changed 4, 5 women or used them physically) for 3 years. It has been three-four months. We are not in a relationship. We have broken up. I told him to delete our personal pics and videos. He is not deleting them and is not blackmailing me either. I told him that since we don't want to be together, we don't have a future together, then delete them. He is not deleting them and is not blackmailing me either and I want him to delete them. Who knows what will come to his mind in the future and what will happen. If we don't continue, he has no right to Keep the pics in your mobile, whatever video is personal to us, don't delete it and don't blackmail me either. I am not able to understand what should I tell him, although I have requested him a lot to delete it but he is not doing it either, He told me that I have kept ur pics and videos So that I cannot complain against him in future. so what should I do, please guide me. I know I had made a huge mistake to love him and gave him right to keep personal pics or videos..
Ans: At this point, it’s essential to protect your emotional and mental health while addressing this issue. You might consider seeking support from someone you trust, such as a close friend or family member, to share this burden. Talking to someone who knows you and your situation can provide comfort and practical guidance.

If he continues to refuse, you may need to explore your legal options. Many countries have laws that protect individuals from having private photos or videos kept or shared without their consent. Taking this step might feel daunting, but it could give you a sense of empowerment and security. It’s not about revenge or escalation; it’s about protecting yourself and asserting your right to move forward without this hanging over you.

On an emotional level, remind yourself that you are not defined by this relationship or the choices you made while in it. You trusted someone who didn’t honor that trust, but this doesn’t diminish your value or strength. It’s natural to feel regret, but you deserve compassion from yourself as you work through this.

You’re not alone in this, and it’s okay to seek help—whether that’s legal advice, emotional support from loved ones, or even professional counseling to navigate the stress and anxiety this situation might be causing. The most important thing now is to take steps that protect your peace of mind and ensure your future isn’t weighed down by his actions.

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |687 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello Team, Hi Dev Sir, I am 43 years old employed. Here are my financial stats: Loan - 35 lacs Saving- 27 lacs 1 house bought in 2009 at rent (14000/month) and valued at 60 lacs Another house which I live is valued at 90 lacs Monthly income after tax - 2.5 lac Monthly expenses- 1 lac PF/gratuity - 16 lacs MF - 2 lacs NPS - 4 lacs What are my options to retire after 5 yrs with good corpus?
Ans: Hello;

What is your monthly contribution to EPF, NPS and MFs?

Please clarify so as to advise you suitably.

Thanks;

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3918 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 24, 2024

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Career
Sir i am currently in class 11 th and i just want to prepare for jee mains and advanced 2026 exam so give me some roadmap to achieve and also guide me for computer science
Ans: Shreya, I trust that you have already enrolled in a coaching center, whether it be online or in person, and have finished your eleventh syllabus. (1) If you have not yet created your own short-notes for the 11th syllabus that has been completed, prepare it and continue to revise them every three days until 2026, even after you have commenced studying the 12th syllabus in December 2024. (2) Review the questions that you have incorrectly answered or skipped in mock tests conducted by your Coaching Center and/or practiced independently. (3) In order to increase your rank/percentile by targeting computer science at a reputable college/institute, prioritize mathematics (although all three subjects are equally important). (4) You should be thorough with NCERT books, particularly those pertaining to chemistry, in conjunction with the materials provided by your coaching institute. (5) Have 1-2 reference books for each subject. Not exceeding two. (6) Review the questions that were incorrectly answered or skipped in your mock and practice exams and retake the test. It is advisable to maintain a distinct note-book for these types of questions, which should include answers and elucidating notes, in order to review them repeatedly for all three subjects. (7) Download the SYLLABUS of JEE Main 2025 (available on Google by searching for "JEE Main Information Bulletin") and print it out, as there will be no significant changes to the syllabus in 2026. Maintain it on your study table and continue to update the 11th syllabus chapters and concepts that you have covered to date by marking them with a checkmark. This will boost your confidence if you continue to update the same till November 2025. (8) A slight difference in Syllabus might be visible when you acquire the 2026 JEE Main / JEE Advanced Syllabus. The same can be resolved within 15 days to one month in 2025-26. (9) Increase your productivity by studying for 45 minutes to 1 hour, taking a 10-minute break, and then continuing for 45 minutes. (10) Take a 2-3 minute break every 45 minutes while practicing questions, whether offline or online. This break should consist of closing your eyes and taking long breaths to enhance your concentration and mental capacity. (11) Additionally, it is recommended that you acquire the 20-40 PREVIOUS years question paper book of JEE (Main & Advanced) from Amazon. Arihant's, Disha's, or MTG's publications are recommended. Once you have finished reading a chapter, practice and complete it to determine the extent to which you have comprehended the concepts and to identify areas that require improvement. (12) By October 2025, ensure that you have reviewed significantly more than 90% of the previous years questions. Your confidence will be further bolstered by this. (13) After the mock test is completed at your coaching center, clarify all incorrectly answered or ignored questions and continue to revise and practice them, as these types of questions will significantly disrupt your performance in the actual JEE. (14) If you are a regular school student, inquire with your class teacher about the minimum attendance requirement as outlined in the Board's regulations (State, CBSE, ICSE, etc.). Utilize the remaining 15% by taking time off and preparing for your JEE, if only 85% attendance is required. (15) THE MOST IMPORTANT Value Added Suggestion: Rather than solely relying on JEE, please participate in 5-7 entrance exams/counseling process with a JEE score for getting admission into any one of the private engineering colleges to have a variety of options to select the most suitable one. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1062 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2024Hindi
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Career
My son graduated BE CSC with 8.9 CGP was offered a job as system engineer inTCS in April when he was in his 8th semister. Till November 23 he didn't get the on boarding letter, in the meantime whe appeared in two' exams under same offer. Advice what has been going on.
Ans: Hello.
Whatever you are saying is just shocking. The track record of TCS is not like that, as you described in your question. It would be better to contact TCS again and ask them when they will give on boarding letter. It is not clear from your query whether your son had done some correspondence with TCS or not related to the job offered. It is also not clear which two exams he appeared in. If not selected in a campus interview, searching for a job might be tedious but not so difficult. Ask your son to post a strong resume on the LinkedIn portal and remain in touch with his seniors. Please visit the websites of renowned companies daily to search for vacancies. There are many job-offering portals where he can register his name. Please ask the college placement division for any placement opportunities.
Wishing the best of luck for his bright future.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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T S Khurana

T S Khurana   |197 Answers  |Ask -

Tax Expert - Answered on Nov 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2024Hindi
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Money
Can you please suggest on capital gains as per Indian taxation laws arising in the below two queries : 1) property purchased with joint ownership, me and my wife’s name in 2015 at a cost of 64,80,000, housing improvements done for the cost of 1000000 and brokerages of 200000 paid and sold the same property at 10000000 in Dec 2023? 2) 87% of the proceeds got from the deal i.e 8700000, have been reinvested to pay 25% amount in purchasing another joint ownership property in Dec 2023, 3) I have invested in another under construction property in Nov 2023 by taking housing loan, which is on me and my wife’s name worth 1.4 cr, here the primary applicant is me only while wife is just made a Co applicant in the builder buyer agreement and also on the housing loan . So what are the LTCG tax liabilities arising from the above 3 scenarios for FY 2023-2024 and FY 2024-2025. I intend to sale off the property acquired in (2) by Dec 2024 and use that proceeds to close the housing loan for the property acquired in (3), will this sale of property be inviting any tax liabilities if the complete proceeds received from the sale of the property in (2) would be utilised to close the housing loan taken in Nov 2023 for the property in (3) ? Since in FY 23-24, I would be claiming the LTCG from the sale proceeds of 1) invested in the purchase of property in 2), and I intend to sale off this property in Dec 2024, will the LTCG claim be forfeited on the property sale in (1), should I hold this property at least for further 1 year so that sale of this property in 2) will not invite STCG?
Ans: (A). Let's first talk about F/Y 2023-24 :
You jointly sold a Property during the year for Rs.76.80 lakhs (64.80+10.00+2.00), & sold the same for Rs.100.00 lakhs.
You have jointly also purchased Property No.3 (I suppose it is Residential only), for Rs.140.00 lakhs.
You should avail exemption u/s-54 & file your ITR accordingly. Please disclose all details about sale & purchase in your ITR.
02. Now coming to the F/Y 2024-25 :
You intend to Sell Property No.2, which was acquired in 2023-24. Any Gain on Sale of it would be Short Term capital Gains & taxed accordingly.
Alternatively, you may hold this sale of property no.2 (for 2 years from its purchase) & avoid STCG
You are free to utilize the sale proceeds in a way you like, including paying off your housing Loan.
Please note to avail exemption u/s 54 only from investment in property no.3 & not 2.
Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

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