Hi I’m 40 yrs now and. I have a male friend of 23 years old we r good friends. I helped him financially and emotionally and take care of his house his expenses and he too is good but I love him as I have feelings for him but he is more into girls.
Initially I managed all his things but he is now into serious relationship with a girl and also wants to marry her but I’m unable to digest that.
I know he is right he is moving ahead in life but I’m struck there loving him and he also wants to make his career and be with me, go abroad.
We both want to plan to go together but I’m worried as will I tolerate him in all this aspects?
Will I see him happy with someone else whom he loves?
Should I ignore his relationship and focus on our friendship which is hard. Don’t know what to do kindly suggest plz.

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Ans: Dear Himanshu,
How does her past matter in your present and future? Exactly how will her living together with her ex, at a point in time when you did not exist in her life, matter to you today? Why are you judging her based on the fact that she loved someone else before you? I understand that these feelings can creep in, but you have to counsel yourself. She isn't at fault here because everything that is bothering you today is in her past and she cannot change that, and why should she have to change it, anyway? Every time you find yourself feeling this way, you can ask the same question and answer honestly. And in case you think you cannot get over these thoughts, let her go. No one deserves to be in a relationship where they have to be constantly reminded of their past or judged for it.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no hard and fast rule that you have to be dating for a certain period of time before you marry someone. But, of course, if you feel it's too soon, you can communicate your concern to your partner. After all, it is important to be on the same page. And who knows, maybe something your partner says or does can put your mind to ease.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I really cannot comment if you are overreacting or have every reason to feel this way without knowing a bit more about the entire situation. But what I can tell is that you should communicate your feelings to your partner. Let her know that while maintaining individuality or pursuing individual wishes in a relationship is important, it is equally important to pay heed to what makes your partner uncomfortable. Your request, from what information you have provided, seemed reasonable, while her reasoning that it is the guy's fault, not hers also makes perfect sense. So I think the best course of action is to let the situation calm down and have an open conversation. Could she have avoided this meetup to make you happy? Yes. But, she could've thought that if she avoids one thing for your happiness, you might start asking her to give up more things in the future, which is a real issue in many relationships. I think it is important to clear up all of these concerns and feelings before moving on with lifelong commitment.

Hope this helps

Ans: ok, so what was your objective behind buying these? short term, long term or trading?

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