Hi I’m 40 yrs now and. I have a male friend of 23 years old we r good friends. I helped him financially and emotionally and take care of his house his expenses and he too is good but I love him as I have feelings for him but he is more into girls.
Initially I managed all his things but he is now into serious relationship with a girl and also wants to marry her but I’m unable to digest that.
I know he is right he is moving ahead in life but I’m struck there loving him and he also wants to make his career and be with me, go abroad.
We both want to plan to go together but I’m worried as will I tolerate him in all this aspects?
Will I see him happy with someone else whom he loves?
Should I ignore his relationship and focus on our friendship which is hard. Don’t know what to do kindly suggest plz.
Ans: Dear JH,
Hang on! Let’s get all the facts right here…
1. He loves you and you love him
2. You supported him financially and emotionally
3. He also wants to be with other girls
4. He is currently in a relationship with another girl and also claims that he will travel abroad
5. You both plan to be together
Did I get all the facts right?
Take a step back and just figure out if he is just missing a ‘Mother Figure’ in his life and if he is actually thinking of you as one.
That’s what you will always be to him if that is the case. Watch how you are playing with your emotions here as whatever be the age, when a heart breaks, it really does break!
Ask yourself: What is it that I am getting from this relationship? Is it love, it is eliminating loneliness, is it validation OR is it you wanting to share love that you have?
These are not reasons enough to be with a person and lock your emotions with. The future is always unknown and uncertain but delve into your heart and simply ask: Do I really want to test the waters OR Do I create my life the way that I want on my own terms as a 40-year old who is complete charge of life? You will clearly get your answer.
All the best and create a beautiful life for yourself.
