Hi Kanchan I just want to know that i fried needs sex daily without fail twice. but suddenly his wife stop due to health, but he wants. after some times he search for alternative and have in once in a month but same day for multiple times. now wife is good in health conditions and she wants. my question is should my friend should leave alternative where he is involved and have sex with wife. he is much confused, but he wants sex.

Ans: Dear Tapan,
The reasons can be many. I don't have much information from you to give you very valuable suggestions and hence I can only suggest: Communicate well as husband and wife. Care. love and trust can create better intimacy. Also, do check if there is any physiological challenges that your wife is struggling with.by visiting a doctor.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your friend is either seeking pleasure outside of marriage as some sort of a kick OR he's running away from his marriage and distracting himself with a sex worker.
Either case, I hope he understands that it's not just about cheating but it's also about what STDs he might be bringing back home. If pilgrimage helped, everyone who has a relationship issue can visit holy places and put things back to what they were.
What is required here is: the couple going into intensive therapy dealing with coping, un-avoidance and moving into resolution and building back.
You are a good friend; kindly suggest this to your friend and he may refuse...but persist...if he still says No, know that you have done your best!

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you want to know whether your friend will continue having his extramarital affair. It is difficult for me to tell, but if he is morally okay and guilt free to cheat on his wife, the mother of his two kids, it is possible that he will continue with the relationship until something blows up, i.e., his wife finds out or his girlfriend backs out. I don't see how that is ethically correct from any possible angle.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Oh, now your friend is indulging in the game of comparing who gave him better sex? Wow! And what if his wife does the same and then concludes that she is not satisfied with what your friend does for her in bed? Is he going to learn all the new tricks to perform for her in bed so that she is satisfied?
This kind of comparison and expectation is what is killing their intimate moments. Your friend certainly cannot compare his past experiences with his current one and each partner have a different level of comfort with what they want in bed and what they want to do in bed.
Not every person likes to explore and experiment with different shades of sex. And even is your friend wants his wife to explore it, it's not by insistence or force but by making her comfortable with the idea and slowly introducing newer shades. If she still is not okay, kindly tell your friend to drop his plan as it will only upset their married life.
Marriage isn't about searching outside for what you don't have BUT learning to together as a couple grow that within the marriage and also respect if that is not either of the partners want.
As for having the baby, no special tricks or out of the ordinary sexual act is necessary...it's a natural and beautiful process that is not hampered by stress or unnecessary expectations.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
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