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Wife suddenly ignores me for 2 years after 22 years of marriage: How to find out if she’s having an affair?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Im 54 married my wife 44 since our marriage 22 years all is fine even in my trouble time my wife supported me fully but last 2 years we are no contact situation even we shaare same house we have 2 kids 18 and 12. Last 2 year back she met her school friend from there she is ignoring me don't know how to fix it i Dought she has a affair with him. But m not getting clue. Hiw to find it

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's a wonder as to why she would suddenly be different from what you have been used to. It's also natural to pinpoint it to her reconnecting with her school friend if there is no other recent changes or events that might have caused her to act very different. The best is to ASK...she may not even be aware of her behavior change or the impact certain things are having on you.
While you have that chat, it will give you a fair understanding of what is going on with that friend of hers.
Communication is better than Assumption and in your case, it's best to talk things through...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |551 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

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My name is Rajesh, I am 50 year old 4years back I got to know that my wife is in relationship with someone and after inqiuring in detail I found that, that was her second relationship. Earlier relationship was broken 1 year before. and she told me all herself when I ask on condition that if she didnt tell me I may take dicision of breaking. so sho told me everything without hiding. she is telling me that she still loves me. Arter that she stoped all contacts but after a year she strated developing contacts with facebook messenger and developed one more relationship with one FB friend. again when I got to know she stoped contacting him. this time ther was no physical relationship, but she admitted that he once kissed her. the boy tried to contact her in all ways but she somehow stopped this matter. I love my wife very much. I forgive her every time. three year passed now all this year she was not going outside alone without me. but in these days I also insisted her to go out, and she started going to yoga class where she used to go early and she is very happy now days. I dont know whether I am doing correct or not, some time I still have dought in my mind whether she will start again doing affairs. I am some times afread, dont know what to do. whether I should still continue trusting and loving my wife or what. we have one son age 16 now. I am confuesd sometimes but till date happiness is maintained in the family. But I am feeling lonely somtimes. what to do?
Ans: Dear Rajesh,

I can understand it is an impossible situation for you but this too shall pass. First things first, are you happy in a relationship that involves cheating, not once, but twice and who's to say there won't be a third? Ask yourself that. If the answer is no, it is quite understandable, but if it's yes, then why? Why would anyone be happy with a partner who cheats over and over again? Why do you think you deserve such a life? Granted, relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but they should not look this grim either. You alone have kept it going for this long, and maintained harmony by accepting your partner's infidelity time and again; ask yourself what would happen if you allowed yourself to stop. You can stop tolerating it, you know?

The question isn't how you should deal with your partner who is evidently a repeat cheater. The question is how you should deal with the situation and why are you reacting in a way that almost makes me think that you believe you deserve such a relationship. As for your kid, divorce or separation has much less effect on a child than a broken marriage with two unhappy parents.

If you still want to continue, that is also okay. To each their own, but don't forget to ask yourself what are you staying in this marriage for; your kid, societal pressure, or is it unconditional love for your wife, who, by the way, does not reciprocate the same for you.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

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Sir, what is the difference between IITs and NITs? Do you think IIITs are better than IITs? Can you please explain and elaborate? Thank you in advance.
Ans: Hello
I would like to mention specifically that IITs have no comparison. IIT-JEE is considered as one of the toughest exam across the globe & hence IITs are the best. Now coming to comparing NIT Vs IIIT, in my view I have considered following points:

IIITs (Indian Institutes of Information Technology) are often considered better than NITs (National Institutes of Technology) for Computer Science and allied courses (like IT, AI, Data Science, etc.) due to several factors.

1. Core Focus on Computer Science & IT
IIITs are dedicated to IT & CS fields, while NITs offer a broad range of engineering disciplines.
Due to this focus, IIITs often have better faculty, research opportunities, and industry collaborations in CS-related fields.
Many IIITs are industry-driven, ensuring that their curriculum is updated with modern technologies like AI, ML, Blockchain, and Cloud Computing.

2. Stronger Industry Connections & Placements
IIITs, especially top ones like IIIT Hyderabad, IIIT Bangalore, and IIIT Delhi, have excellent industry relations.
Companies like Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and Adobe prefer IIITs over most NITs for software roles due to their specialized training.
IIIT Hyderabad, for example, has one of the highest average packages for CSE among engineering colleges in India, even competing with IITs.

3. Better Coding Culture & Research in CS Fields
IIITs have a very strong coding culture, with students excelling in competitive programming (Google Code Jam, ACM ICPC) and hackathons.
They also focus heavily on research and innovation in CS, contributing to AI, ML, and Data Science research worldwide.
IIIT Hyderabad, in particular, has research centers (CVIT, ML Lab, Blockchain Lab, etc.) that rival global universities.

4. Flexible & Modern Curriculum
IIITs usually have a more flexible curriculum, allowing students to take electives in trending areas like AI, Cybersecurity, and Data Science.
Some IIITs have no strict branch system, allowing students to focus on multiple CS fields.
In contrast, NITs follow a more traditional curriculum, which may not be as updated for CS innovations.


5. Higher Coding & Competitive Programming Rankings
IIIT students often dominate Google Summer of Code (GSoC), ACM ICPC, and CodeForces rankings.
IIIT Hyderabad, IIIT Allahabad, and IIIT Delhi are known for their strong competitive coding culture, often outperforming NITs.


When NITs Might Be a Better Option
While IIITs are excellent for CS, there are some cases where an NIT might be preferable:

If considering a non-CS branch, NITs are better because IIITs mainly focus on CS and related fields.
Top NITs like NIT Trichy, NIT Surathkal, and NIT Warangal have excellent placements in CSE, sometimes better than newer IIITs.
NITs have a stronger alumni network, which can help in diverse career opportunities.
NITs offer better campus life and infrastructure, as IIITs often have smaller campuses.

For CSE & allied courses, top IIITs like IIIT Hyderabad, IIIT Delhi, and IIIT Bangalore are usually a better choice than most NITs due to their strong coding culture, placements, research, and industry collaborations. However, for overall campus life, government funding, and non-CS branches, top NITs might be preferable.

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