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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |177 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

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Nagendra Question by Nagendra on Feb 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My name is Rajesh, I am 50 year old 4years back I got to know that my wife is in relationship with someone and after inqiuring in detail I found that, that was her second relationship. Earlier relationship was broken 1 year before. and she told me all herself when I ask on condition that if she didnt tell me I may take dicision of breaking. so sho told me everything without hiding. she is telling me that she still loves me. Arter that she stoped all contacts but after a year she strated developing contacts with facebook messenger and developed one more relationship with one FB friend. again when I got to know she stoped contacting him. this time ther was no physical relationship, but she admitted that he once kissed her. the boy tried to contact her in all ways but she somehow stopped this matter. I love my wife very much. I forgive her every time. three year passed now all this year she was not going outside alone without me. but in these days I also insisted her to go out, and she started going to yoga class where she used to go early and she is very happy now days. I dont know whether I am doing correct or not, some time I still have dought in my mind whether she will start again doing affairs. I am some times afread, dont know what to do. whether I should still continue trusting and loving my wife or what. we have one son age 16 now. I am confuesd sometimes but till date happiness is maintained in the family. But I am feeling lonely somtimes. what to do?

Ans: Dear Rajesh,

I can understand it is an impossible situation for you but this too shall pass. First things first, are you happy in a relationship that involves cheating, not once, but twice and who's to say there won't be a third? Ask yourself that. If the answer is no, it is quite understandable, but if it's yes, then why? Why would anyone be happy with a partner who cheats over and over again? Why do you think you deserve such a life? Granted, relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but they should not look this grim either. You alone have kept it going for this long, and maintained harmony by accepting your partner's infidelity time and again; ask yourself what would happen if you allowed yourself to stop. You can stop tolerating it, you know?

The question isn't how you should deal with your partner who is evidently a repeat cheater. The question is how you should deal with the situation and why are you reacting in a way that almost makes me think that you believe you deserve such a relationship. As for your kid, divorce or separation has much less effect on a child than a broken marriage with two unhappy parents.

If you still want to continue, that is also okay. To each their own, but don't forget to ask yourself what are you staying in this marriage for; your kid, societal pressure, or is it unconditional love for your wife, who, by the way, does not reciprocate the same for you.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

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Relationship
Dear Anu, I don’t know how to start. My Age is 40. This is my second marriage. My first marriage was arranged and it lasted 6 months.  As I was in love we got divorced. We have one son who is 10 years old. Now the issue is my second wife and I have both betrayed each other. I caught her first having a deep love affair with her yoga friend. That fellow is married and we know his wife and daughter. She has started him when she was training for yoga and later they both started classes together. Meanwhile, I am in a relationship with a colleague. Now she is in a different organization. Although she has stopped it, I continue to chat with her. We are both struggling to come to a decision since last 9 months but nothing is working out. We both confessed; she is guilty, I am not. We've had a very rough time. Now she is at her mother’s home. My problem is that I can neither let her go nor forget her. She wants her freedom as earlier but I am not ready. So I am sad while I continue to torture her by asking past questions. I am worried more about my son. I am stuck so I end up bullying her. Please advice. I want to move on. I don’t want to be in relationship but i am afraid of taking decision. Sometime I feel miserable.
Ans: Dear PC, I don’t want this and I don’t want that is a childlike way of dealing with things; you will be stuck in that mud forever.

You have to want to either move on with your marriage or not.

If you choose to stay, you have to train your mind and as a couple go for a Couples Counselling to rebuild the marriage.

It will require forgiving; hard as it is, it will help both of you relook as to why you fell in love in the first place.

Sometimes, it is essential to hit the refresh button and look at things with a new perspective. And if you have decided mutually, to separate, do make sure there is no mud slinging or finger pointing.

A marriage is between two adults who are invested equally in it and there is no one person to blame.

Be graceful about this and make it a graceful end where you support one another.

Whatever you decide, always make sure your son is well looked after especially his mind and what he needs to know and understand.

Seek the support of a professional who deals with children growing up in families where the parents are separating or are quarrelling.

Either case, please DO NOT let the child suffer as this has long-term consequences on his mind.

I hope you make a decision sooner as every day not only makes it harder for both of you but for your child as well. Take care and best wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!
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Maxim

Maxim Emmanuel  |186 Answers  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 20, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello my name is yash I have completed by studies in bsc it I have done jobs of cashier and application support analyst during my studies. No my studies are over I find myself to fit in job as per requirement but I am not satisfied sometimes I feel I am not meant for this I have issues from office like work extra over over time. I want to ask is there everywhere over time of employees to be spend 10-12 hours in office. Secondly I feel that should work in environment where I can move and do work means field work in which I feel I am not bounded in short I want work life balance. I love to read books, I love to do on ground activities in back of my mind I have civil services plan in which I have a permission to work freely. But condition is that how can I do if office demands max hours of my life it's bit confusing for me
Ans: Your name is Yash =Success, but you are far from it because you are on the wrong path.

The education and job as per your statement now matches your profile ,but you are not satisfied because of your work time.. Understand your predicament!

Travelled by bus,train ...realised how many hour's they are driving for you.. When you sleep!?
Forget about being a soldier you cant qualify!

Looking for a cushy and comfortable job, you have just started young man.. Get your thought process right!

The Civil Service means Govt job and you think, once you get it, you can then ruminate!?
Not any more, everywhere there are deliverable's.

Now the balance for work & life balance comes when you have the income to treat yourself, let alone repay the debt of your parent's.

Nobody stops you to do what you love but after a good days work.. Man!?

There's nothing called freely work, all gods children have bosses ,except GOD !

So your confusion of work timings will end, when you have the determination to dedicate & deliver ...success!
Got it.. there's nothing that comes on a platter! Go get it before you are left behind.. Be the YASH!
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Ashwini

Ashwini Dasgupta  |65 Answers  |Ask -

Personality Development Expert, Career Coach - Answered on Apr 28, 2024

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Money
Arun Prasad v k, hi sir, I am 46 yrs wish to retire by 55. Presently I have 25 lacs in fixed deposit, 15 lacs in post office savings , house rent8k, monthly 25k as salary. Besides, this I have 30k as monthly expenses... I have no idea / knowledge about mutual fund and I want to invest regularly for more 10 years...systematically and at the time of 55 I want to get best amount as pension amount..without loosing investment amount to beat the inflation. Kindly suggest me good mutual fund and tell me how to invest directly..without agent.. 2. My fixed deposit going to mature this month for Rs.11 lacs. Kindly suggest ,is it advisable to invest as lumpsum Or in what way to invest.
Ans: t's commendable that you're planning for your retirement and seeking to explore mutual fund investments to achieve your financial goals. Here's a tailored approach to help you get started:

Selecting Mutual Funds: Since you're aiming for long-term wealth accumulation with the goal of generating a pension-like income at the age of 55, consider investing in a mix of equity and debt mutual funds to balance growth potential with capital preservation. Look for funds with a track record of consistent performance, experienced fund managers, and low expense ratios. You may consider diversified equity funds, balanced funds, and debt funds based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.
Investing Directly?
investing directly in mutual funds without professional guidance can pose certain risks. Here are some perils to consider:

Lack of Expertise: Direct investing requires a deep understanding of the mutual fund landscape, market dynamics, and investment strategies. Without proper knowledge, you may struggle to select the right funds and construct a well-balanced portfolio.
Risk of Mistakes: DIY investing increases the risk of making costly mistakes such as selecting unsuitable funds, mistiming the market, or misinterpreting fund performance data. These mistakes can hinder your investment returns and jeopardize your retirement goals.
Limited Access to Research: Individual investors may have limited access to research tools, market insights, and expert analysis compared to financial professionals. This can make it challenging to make informed investment decisions and navigate complex financial markets effectively.
Lack of Personalized Advice: Investing directly means missing out on personalized financial advice tailored to your unique needs, goals, and risk tolerance. A Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) can provide valuable guidance and help you build a customized investment plan aligned with your objectives.
Considering these challenges, I would recommend considering regular mutual funds through an MFD. An MFD can offer personalized advice, recommend suitable mutual funds based on your financial goals and risk profile, and provide ongoing support to help you navigate the investment landscape effectively.
Lumpsum Investment: Regarding your maturing fixed deposit of 11 lakhs, consider your risk tolerance and investment goals before deciding how to deploy this amount. Since you have a relatively short time horizon until retirement, you may consider investing a portion of the amount in debt funds for stability and liquidity, while allocating the remainder to equity funds for potential growth over the long term. Alternatively, you can stagger your investments over time through systematic transfer plans (STP) to mitigate timing risk.
Regular Monitoring: Once you've invested in mutual funds, monitor your investments regularly and review your portfolio periodically to ensure alignment with your financial goals and risk profile. Consider rebalancing your portfolio if needed based on changes in market conditions or your financial situation.
By following these steps and staying disciplined with your investment approach, you can work towards building a robust investment portfolio to support your retirement goals while safeguarding your investment against inflation.

By working with an MFD, you can access professional expertise, receive personalized recommendations, and benefit from ongoing guidance to make informed investment decisions and achieve your retirement goals more effectively.

If you have any further questions or need assistance, feel free to reach out to a Certified Financial Planner or Mutual Fund Distributor for personalized advice and support.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2023Hindi
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Money
I'm 27 year old female. I earn 29k per month. I want to start an SIP and save enough (5lakh) for my marriage that I expect will happen after three years what's the best way for me to go about this goal?
Ans: Starting an SIP to save for your marriage is a wise decision, and with a clear goal in mind, you can work towards achieving it effectively. Here's a suggested approach tailored to your situation:

Determine Required SIP Amount: Calculate the monthly SIP amount required to accumulate 5 lakhs in three years. Assuming an average annual return of around 10%, you'll need to invest approximately 12,000 INR per month.
Select Suitable Mutual Funds: Choose mutual funds that align with your investment horizon and risk tolerance. Given your relatively short time frame of three years, consider allocating your investments to relatively safer options such as debt funds or hybrid funds with a higher allocation towards debt.
Explore Debt and Hybrid Funds: Look for debt funds or hybrid funds with a conservative allocation that prioritize capital preservation while aiming for modest growth. Consider funds with a track record of stable returns and low volatility.
Set Up SIPs: Open SIPs in the chosen mutual funds and set up monthly contributions of 12,000 INR. Ensure that the SIP amount is deducted automatically from your bank account each month to maintain consistency in your investment approach.
Regular Monitoring: Keep track of the performance of your SIPs and review them periodically. Make adjustments to your investment strategy if necessary based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals.
Explore Additional Savings: Consider supplementing your SIPs with additional savings from any windfalls, bonuses, or surplus income to accelerate your goal achievement.
Stay Committed: Stay committed to your SIPs and avoid withdrawing funds prematurely unless absolutely necessary. Remember, consistency and discipline are key to achieving your financial goals.
By following these steps and staying focused on your goal, you can save enough for your marriage within the desired timeframe while building a healthy financial habit for the future.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Money
Sir please suggest amount as well as mutual fund for 15 years to generate corpus of 1cr
Ans: To generate a corpus of 1 crore in 15 years, you'll need to invest a significant amount regularly and choose suitable mutual funds with growth potential. Here's a suggested approach:

Determine Investment Amount: Considering your goal of accumulating 1 crore in 15 years, you'll need to calculate the monthly investment required based on expected returns. Assuming an average annual return of around 10%, you'll need to invest approximately 30,000 INR per month.
Select Mutual Funds: Choose a mix of equity mutual funds that offer potential for capital appreciation over the long term. Consider allocating your investments across large-cap, mid-cap, and multicap funds to diversify risk and maximize returns. Look for funds with a consistent track record of performance, experienced fund managers, and a robust investment strategy.
Allocate Funds: Divide your monthly investment amount of 30,000 INR among different mutual funds based on your risk tolerance and investment goals. For example, you could allocate 40-50% to large-cap funds, 30-40% to mid-cap funds, and 10-20% to multicap funds.
Regular Monitoring: Regularly review the performance of your mutual funds and make adjustments as needed based on changes in market conditions, fund performance, and your financial goals. Stay disciplined and committed to your investment plan to achieve your target corpus of 1 crore in 15 years.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Consider seeking advice from a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized recommendations based on your financial situation, risk profile, and investment objectives. They can help you create a customized investment plan and guide you towards achieving your long-term financial goals.
By following these steps and staying disciplined with your investments, you can work towards building a substantial corpus of 1 crore over the next 15 years. Remember, consistency, patience, and informed decision-making are key to successful long-term wealth creation.
(more)
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Money
Hi sir, Maine niche likhe hue sabhi fund mein mutual fund investment ki hai Small cap fund... Quant, HDFC, Mahindra, ICICI, canara rebeco Mid cap fund....Quant, HDFC, Mahindra, motilal oswal, canara rebeco Multicap fund.... HDFC and Mahindra Sectoral themetic fund... Nippon power& infra, DSp India tiger fund, ICICI manufacturing, ICICI innovation, axis manufacturing Plz mujhe suggest Karo.. aage bhi main yeh invest ment continue Karu ya . Fund change Karu...
Ans: It's great to see your diversified investment approach across different categories like small-cap, mid-cap, multicap, and sectoral thematic funds. However, the decision to continue or change your investments depends on various factors such as fund performance, your investment goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions.

Here are a few steps to consider:

Review Fund Performance: Evaluate the performance of each fund relative to its benchmark and peer group over different time frames. Look for consistency, risk-adjusted returns, and the fund manager's track record.
Assess Investment Goals: Reflect on your investment goals, time horizon, and risk tolerance. Are you investing for short-term gains or long-term wealth creation? Your goals should drive your investment decisions.
Analyze Fund Strategy: Understand the investment strategy and underlying holdings of each fund. Ensure they align with your investment objectives and risk profile. Assess if any funds are deviating from their stated strategy or experiencing manager changes.
Consider Market Conditions: Take into account current market conditions, economic outlook, and sectoral trends. Certain sectors may perform better in specific market cycles, so diversification across sectors can mitigate risks.
Consult a Financial Advisor: Seek advice from a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized recommendations based on your individual circumstances. They can help you assess your portfolio, identify any gaps, and suggest appropriate changes.
Ultimately, the decision to continue or change your investments should be based on a thorough analysis of fund performance, alignment with your goals, and professional advice. Regularly review your portfolio and make adjustments as needed to stay on track towards achieving your financial objectives.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |928 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello sir, I am 34 yeRs old and monthly income is 1.8 lakhs. I have a home loan EMI of 55000. I want to invest 40000 in MF SIP. Can you please provide a breakdown where should i invest and how much?
Ans: It's great to see your proactive approach towards investing despite having home loan commitments. Given your financial situation, here's a suggested breakdown for investing 40,000 INR in mutual fund SIPs:

Diversified Equity Funds (Large Cap/Multi Cap): Allocate around 60-70% of your SIP amount, i.e., 24,000 to 28,000 INR, to diversified equity funds. These funds offer exposure to a mix of large-cap and multi-cap stocks, providing stability and growth potential over the long term.
Mid Cap and Small Cap Funds: Allocate around 20-30% of your SIP amount, i.e., 8,000 to 12,000 INR, to mid-cap and small-cap funds for higher growth potential. These funds are more volatile but can offer significant returns over an extended investment horizon.
Balanced/Hybrid Funds: Consider allocating a small portion, around 10-20% of your SIP amount, i.e., 4,000 to 8,000 INR, to balanced or hybrid funds. These funds invest in a mix of equities and debt instruments, providing a balance between growth and stability.
Asset Allocation: Adjust the allocation percentages based on your risk tolerance, investment horizon, and financial goals. Regularly review your portfolio's performance and make necessary adjustments to ensure alignment with your objectives.
Professional Advice: Consider consulting with a Certified Financial Planner who can provide personalized guidance based on your financial goals, risk profile, and investment horizon. They can help you select suitable mutual funds and create a well-diversified portfolio tailored to your needs.
By following this breakdown and seeking professional advice, you can build a robust mutual fund portfolio that aligns with your financial objectives and helps you achieve your long-term wealth creation goals.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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