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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 06, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
KKR Question by KKR on Feb 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I have been married for 23 years and father of 3 children. My age gap with my wife is 11 yrs. I have been helping my in-laws for the last 13 years financially every month and also additional medical costs. I am a single breadwinner and i earn a good income but unable to save much as my wife dont have any economic sense. secondly, she is a highly depressed woman and always threatens me of suicide or shall leave home scaring my children who are around 16 yrs of age and disturbing their studies. even a small counter point she will take it seriously and shout at me for a very long and will make all sorts of threats. I am fed up with this type of relationship with her and I am helpless as my children have another 5 yrs to go to reach adulthood. She spends too much not on luxuries but unnecessary expenses and social costs like gifts to friends and relatives and spends a lot of time for temple or pooja activities with addtional expenses.

Ans: Dear KKR
It's evident that you're dealing with a significant amount of stress and emotional strain due to your wife's behavior and financial situation. It's important to establish clear boundaries in your relationship with your wife. Communicate your concerns about her behavior and the impact it's having on you and your children. Let her know that threatening suicide or leaving home is not a healthy or productive way to resolve conflicts, and express your willingness to support her in seeking help and finding healthier ways to cope Consider sitting down with your wife to have an open and honest conversation about your financial situation and the importance of budgeting and saving for the future. Explore ways to track expenses, prioritize needs over wants, and work together to set financial goals that align with your family's long-term objectives. Consider consulting with a legal or financial advisor to explore options for protecting your assets and securing your financial future, especially if you're concerned about your wife's spending habits and the impact it may have on your financial stability. It's important to remember that you're not alone in dealing with these challenges, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate this difficult time. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for guidance and support, and prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of your children as you work towards finding solutions to your current situation.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 13, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Love Guru, Please keep me anonymous. I am a 45 years old married male. Ours was an arranged marriage. My spouse as well as my in-laws have cynical attitude towards life. They are always abusive towards everyone at their back even. Earlier, I used to take it lightly and also tried to make my wife understand that there are good people also in the world. I also used to think that she may not be having the same attitude at least towards me but I was wrong. I always did my best whenever she was in trouble or otherwise, be it in her social, professional or medical needs but instead of acknowledging she always found some ulterior motive of mine. She acts sweet whenever she wants anything or to get things done from me otherwise she becomes abusive. Moreover, since beginning she discusses everything over phone with her mother and acts as per her guidance. I don't think that anything whatever happens in between us be it good or bad or in our house is not known to her mother. Whenever we have any quarrel she immediately calls her mother and tells her only her side of the things and uses abusive words for me. I have even requested her that even if she feels like calling her mother to lighten up, she may do it, but at least in privacy so that I should not hear the words she uses. But, now after 14 years I am getting fed up and don't feel like being with her. I am continuing because of my daughter as separation may affect the child. We no longer share any emotional or physical intimacy. I am exhausted. Please advise.  Regards, Anonymous
Ans:

Sounds like you’re tired of the marriage.

I would suggest attending some marital counselling together before you decide to finalise a split, if only for the sake of your daughter.

I understand that the child’s situation is taking precedence over yours, and that’s good parenting, but how long will you carry on like this? It’s been so many years already.

Your wife speaking to her mother about everything is understandable, but within earshot so that you hear it too is not. She obviously has ulterior motives.

Visit a competent counsellor. I’m sure you’ll be able to make headway in this situation.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1650 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2022

Relationship
Hi AnuAt the outset, thank you very much for your time to listen to my situation.I am 50 years old, married to my lover (46 years now) and blessed with two daughters. My wife comes from an upper caste with a poor background. She was my subordinate and got married in 2001 after dating her for more than 18 months.Immediately after marriage, I lost my job due to my mismanagement of responsibility with no criminal action. I suffered for six months and relocated to overseas and lived there for the past 19 years.With my hard work and commitment, my financial situation has improved considerably now. However, my wife's attitude has consistently changed in line with my financial growth. She strongly believes that because of her luck and my daughter’s luck only I was able to earn that much and live comfortably. With my severe official commitments, I did not mind her attitude that much. After the lockdown, I got the opportunity to understand the change and realised that she has constantly ill-treated me over the past 10 years. Also, I lost my parents a few years ago and my father gave his self-earned property worth a few crores to my elder brother and left nothing to me. At the same time, my wife got her ancestor property worth a few lakhs. This incident psychologically weakened me as she consistently abuses me saying she got a few lakhs worth of property whereas I got nothing from my parents. Now, for the last two years, she is not allowing me to perform my parents’ annual death ceremony rituals. She consistently uses bad words against my (departed) parents and makes most negative comments for the donations I made so far and terms me as an Idiot and useless person. She also criticises me in front of my friends and relatives.Her harassment gone to the extent of pushing me to commit suicide and for the sake of my daughter’s welfare, I managed to come out of that mindset on my own. Now, I am determined to live…. at the same time unable to absorb my wife’s harassment. I tried to explain to her in many ways and even begged her many times to stop ill-treating me. Instead, she is asking me how I am able to tolerate despite her ill-treatment for the past few years….Our physical relationship got disconnected for the past five years as she lists out silly reasons for avoiding me. She is refusing to come along with me to meet a psychologist. Also, she disconnected her long-term friends and created a new circle of friends in order to erase her past and maintain a high social image.From your expertise, kindly advise me on how to handle this situation which will be of highest support for me as I am having sleepless nights for the past 2 years.Kindly do not publish my name and request you to keep it anonymous.
Ans:

Dear S,

It’s obvious that there is something that your wife is upset about or missing and you have been blindsided by it.

It could be lack of love, attention or simply family’s worth that she might feel from money situation.

It needs a discussion but from your letter/e-mail, it doesn’t seem like she is interested in it.

What I don’t have information here is in the 19 years that you were out of the country, was she also with you?

This is vital information as things might have gone South while you were away.

Even if she did accompany you, maybe the mismanagement of responsibility situation that you mentioned was something that had thrown her off gear and insecure.

This vital information is missing for me to guide you even more effectively, but I can surely help you navigate with what is.

Yes, it needs a counsellor or a marriage therapist.

Nothing justifies talking ill about family members but when the mind is awry and unsettled, it does not think rationally which is why she is possibly displacing some anger or lack of affection or lack of something that is manifesting itself in different ways.

Ask yourself:

  • Where am I if I continue in the marriage?
  • Where am I if I don’t continue in the marriage?

This reality check will act as a compass to the next steps of action.

As a coach, it’s always nice to see a relationship work but reality might say something else.

So, be true to your thoughts and feelings, set aside any feelings of spite towards your wife and see things for what they are and move forward.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1650 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 31, 2023

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Madam, I'm 52 year old, with 20 years of married life. Have one daughter, 18 and one son, 15. I'm well earning government employee. My wife is also post-graduate. However, after marriage, she put half- hearted efforts to get govt job, but didn't succeed. She was never interested to live at different places for the sake of job and also wanted equal rank job. At that time, I didn't realize that she might be comparing with me. Any way, I was fine with any of her decisions. Later she told thatnshe wants to focus on children only. But, after 4-5 years, she started hating my all family members. While they are staying almost 1000 kms away, and except on few occasions, they never asked any help from me. Since last 10 years, she stopped talking to any of them. She doesn't allow my children to visit my native place and meet my family members, even during any marriages or function. My family members or friends aren't welcome at my home. Even after accepting all these nonsense behaviour, she never remains happy. She keeps passing sarcastic comments. She willn't dress nicely. Remains busy in watching movies/webseries on laptop. Many times, our arguments in the past turned to physical also. How long can I tolerate abuse for my family members? All such situations created toxic environment at home. Both of my children were sharp and intelligent, but now they are showing depressive symptoms. I'm not able to focus on my work and affected my personalty and performances. She wants no frills attached to me. In such case, she should have married to any orphan. She neither wants to meet any one for counselling. Now, I also snapped all relations with her family members. But looks, all the doors are also closed for me. I'm feeling suffocated. I neither leave her nor leave the world, as I love my children and my reputations. Kindly suggest the way out.
Ans: Dear Ramesh,
What it seems like to me from what you have shared is: a case of lost identity!
She has been struggling to find her acceptable place in her own eyes for herself.
In simple terms, she is not happy with the decisions that she has made in life and now chooses to complain about it by pushing people away.
Does this happen to others as well? Oh, YES!
When we have the desire to do something and then we suppress it with an excuse of taking care of the family etc, one fine day in the future, it comes back to haunt us.
In all likelihood, your wife might have done the same thing...I can only assume as from what you have shared, there is nothing else that seems to be the matter.

Now, because it has begun to affect the children, you have woken up but this has been going on with her for a while. Support her thoughts but not the behaviour that impacts everyone around. Give her an assurance that is she chooses to do something professionally, you will be there for her!

The key is not to give her solutions (that will bring down her self-esteem even lower) but to nudge her into thinking about doing something other than care for the family. Point her in a direction without being eager for her to take the bait. These things take time and the state of mind that she has now, if you push her, she will only resist. It's almost like teaching a child to walk or write for the first time. You don't walk for them but nudge them and wait for them to pick up at their own pace and praise them when they take those first baby steps. Get the drift, here? All this 'displeasure' with family members is only her way of complaining about her mind struggles.
Also, your children are old enough to support you through this journey as well. So seek their help on this.


Best wishes and it's nice to know that you still care and want to do something for her.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1650 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

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Relationship
Hi Madam, I am married (arrange marriage) for 10 years with a son of 8 years, I am middle class person and giving Home loan EMI also, because of which no money is saved. My problem is that my wife always demands money and fights for it. She is all aware of my income and expenditures of every month (I have prepared a list and shares with her). I have no habits of alcohol or smoking, but she always fights with me that I spends money on my bad habits and on friends. She always say that you don't take me outside , don't spend on me and blah blah...(I do take her to movies and wherever she wants to go with me or with her friends). She is very short tempered that I avoids talking to her but she finds a chance for fight. For her demands, I left my parental flat and mother and lived with her in a rented house for 5 years and now purchased an independent home also. But, I am fed up of her demands and fights. She even fights when our son is around and even comes near my body as if she wants to hurt me....(although we never had a physical fight). I am very afraid. For your information, she also works as a teacher in a private nursery school (pays half of our home loan EMI) and she is from village background. My father expired long back and mother is living with my younger brother. I even don't meet my close friends frequently (once or twice in a month) because of her fear, as when I meet them she fights on this issue also. I want peace in my life. Kindly help.
Ans: Dear Sunil,
This needs a bit more of finding out what exactly is going on? What is the root cause of anger and the blame game with your wife?
Whatever I suggest will just be a BAND-AID solution and things will flare up yet again. There is deep-seated anger and insecurities rising (from what I understand from you.
The only thing I can say is; spend time with her on an emotional level and maybe this will ease her emotional highs and lows. But, I do feel it is time to have an intervention where as a Couple you are given to tools to work on your relationship.
Do see an expert who specializes in marriage therapy/counseling. They will be able to guide you in a very structured fashion as to how to re-start and re-build your marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi madam, I am 58 yrs old and married since 30+ yrs. Have 2 daughters. Elder one is married in 2021 and happy with her life, younger one is working in MNC. Since my marriage i didn't came to know what the relationship to be there between husband and wife as my wife is very reluctant and she loves only money. since my marriage she always fight with me for silly issues and in childhood of my children's she often beat them with whatever she got in hand. always she said that her husband and children's are useless and always give very good reasons and remarks to others in society or family. Now many times i thought of getting away from her either by doing suicide or run away from my home or divorce her. but i just wanted to leave her alone so that she can think of our presence when we are not available to her. my younger daughter is finally decided to leave the home and be alone in another rented flat or on PG due to her mother behavior. please advice if i opt for divorce and run away from home. i can't speak to any one regarding my situation and need immediate help.
Ans: It's clear that you've endured a lot over the years, and it's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and considering drastic measures like divorce or leaving home. Let's explore your situation with a compassionate and practical perspective.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge your feelings. You've been dealing with a challenging relationship for a long time, and it's natural to feel the weight of it all. Your desire to escape the pain, whether through divorce or even more extreme thoughts, signals just how tough things have been. Remember, these feelings are valid, but it's crucial to find a way forward that prioritizes your well-being and safety.

Considering a divorce is a significant step, especially after being married for over 30 years. It could potentially lead to a new beginning where you and your wife might find individual peace and happiness. Before making this decision, it might be helpful to reflect on a few things:

Sometimes, the prospect of a new start can bring clarity. Have you thought about what life might look like without your current relationship's stress and conflict? Envisioning this can help you understand your true desires.

Your daughters' well-being is a significant concern. Your younger daughter's decision to move out reflects how the family dynamics are affecting her. Would a change, like a separation or divorce, potentially bring more stability and peace for everyone involved?

If it's possible, consider having a heart-to-heart conversation with your wife. Sharing your feelings and how her actions have impacted you and your family might open a door to understanding or change. It’s a difficult conversation but can sometimes lead to unexpected resolutions.

Consulting a therapist or counselor can be invaluable. They can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and offer guidance on managing your situation. A professional can also help you and your wife if there's any possibility of working through your issues together.

If divorce seems like the best option, seeking legal advice is crucial. Understanding your rights and the practical aspects of separation can help you make an informed decision.

Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Lean on trusted friends, family, or support groups for emotional backing. Your happiness and mental health are incredibly important, and finding a path that leads you to peace is worth the effort. Whatever you decide, take small, thoughtful steps towards creating a better situation for yourself and your family.

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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1650 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear guru. I recently watched the film Aap Jaisa Koi and I could relate so much with Kusum bhabhi's character. My condition is somewhat similar. I've been married for six years now. On the outside, everything looks perfect -- a good husband, a 3bhk two storied home in Lucknow, a stable life. But inside, I feel invisible. My husband is a good man, no doubt, but he barely notices me as a person anymore. Conversations revolve around chores, family obligations, and money. There's no affection, no curiosity about how I feel or what I want from life. Sometimes I wonder if he even sees me as a woman, or just as a role I'm expected to keep performing without complaint. Watching the film made me realise how quietly unhappy I've become. I'm not thinking of anything drastic like Kusum, but I do crave connection, validation, and a sense of being wanted, not just needed. I have often felt the urge to text my college crush just to talk or sign up on an app maybe to share my feelings. Is it normal to crave for love and sex outside your marriage? Will it help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Movies can wake you up, but also don't apply everything from it onto yourself. You will feel like a 'perfect' victim. It's good that you have become aware that you truly want more affection from your husband which is what you call as connection or validation.
Also, when you start to fill the void in your marriage from outside, it's not going to be a very pleasant experience.
Working on your marriage can help; some men unfortunately are raised in homes that don't teach them on how to care for a woman and her feelings. Usually, the male figure at home will dominate in a way that the mother/sister will be submissive or subservient and then the son picks this trait from his father.
So, even if you raise this point of affection, your husband is possibly not going to understand or will simply tell you that you are overthinking. He knows only that much...
Start by being excited about your marriage...
- appreciate him often; it might teach him to do the same with you
- express your wants very clearly without making it sound like a complaint; it may teach him to follow your expectations
- ask for help within your marriage; it may subtly teach him to show up more for you

It's a long journey perhaps, but start somewhere...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9042 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Career
My Son has hot admission offers from Chandigarh University Aerospace Engineering and Nanotechnologu from SRM, which should we go for.
Ans: Chandigarh University’s Aerospace Engineering program, NAAC A+–accredited and ranked 32nd in NIRF Engineering 2024, integrates core aerodynamics, propulsion, avionics, and structural design with hands-on labs, flight simulators, and industry-sponsored projects, supported by PhD-qualified faculty and internships with leading aerospace firms; around 70–90% of students secured placements over the last three years, driven by partnerships with Boeing, Airbus, and ISRO collaborators. SRM Kattankulathur’s B.Tech in Nanotechnology, NAAC A++-accredited, features a dedicated Nanotechnology Research Centre with advanced clean rooms, interdisciplinary coursework spanning materials science to drug delivery, and doctoral-level faculty; the program achieved over 90% placement assistance in 2024 through recruiters like Intel and Saint-Gobain, bolstered by strong R&D partnerships and patent outputs.

Recommendation: Opt for Aerospace Engineering at Chandigarh University for a robust core-engineering foundation, specialized labs, and targeted aerospace internships. Choose SRM Nanotechnology if your son prioritizes cutting-edge research infrastructure, interdisciplinary scientific exploration, and higher placement consistency in emerging tech sectors. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9042 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Career
Sir my son got 21000 genral rank in comedk Can you suggest good colleges forCSE or CSE specialization
Ans: Ganesh Sir, With a COMEDK General rank of 21,000, assured seats in CSE and its specializations are available at several Karnataka institutions that combine accreditation, modern infrastructure, experienced faculty, industry partnerships, and active placement cells. The 15 reputed colleges where admission chances are 100% feasible include:
Acharya Institute of Technology, Bengaluru.
Atria Institute of Technology, Bengaluru.
Cambridge Institute of Technology, Bengaluru.
Don Bosco Institute of Technology, Bengaluru.
T John Institute of Technology, Bengaluru.
RR Institute of Technology, Bengaluru.
P.E.S. College of Engineering, Mandya.
CMR Institute of Technology, Bengaluru.
SIT Tumkur, Tumkur.
Dayananda Sagar Academy of Technology & Management, Bengaluru.
Global Academy of Technology, Bengaluru.
NIE Institute of Technology, Mysuru.
PES University, Ring Road Campus, Bengaluru.
S J C Institute of Technology, Chikkabanavara, Bengaluru.
RV Institute of Technology & Management, J. P. Nagar, Bengaluru.

recommendation: Favor P.E.S. College of Engineering, Mandya for its balanced CSE, AI/ML, and Data Science offerings with strong industry tie-ups and reasonable cutoff. Next, prioritize Cambridge Institute of Technology for robust core labs and placements, followed by CMR Institute of Technology for its focused CSE curriculum and active placement cell. Acharya Institute of Technology offers a wide range of specializations and growing recruiter networks, while Dayananda Sagar Academy of Technology & Management completes the top five with its specialized AI, Data Science, and cybersecurity tracks and proven COMEDK performance. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 16, 2025
Money
Hi Sir, My Age is 44years, i have a son and daughter of 12 years & 8 years and I am planning to retire at the age of 55 years. I get 2lakhs in hand monthly. Currently my investment are MF/SIP - 20lac, EPF-30 lac, PPF - 5 lac NPS - 11 lac, Insurances - 10 lac, Suknya Samriddhi - 5 lac, FD - 5 lac. I have a home loan of 50 Laks currently active and having 10 more years to go. I want to have sufficient funds for 1. Education of kids and marriage 2. Health planning 3. Home loan repayment 4. 2 lac monthly income after my retirement, please suggest
Ans: You are 44 and plan to retire at 55. You have two children aged 12 and 8. Your goals include funding their education and marriage, closing a Rs.?50 lakh home loan, planning for health expenses, and securing a monthly retirement income of Rs.?2?lakh. You are already disciplined in savings and investment. Let's build a 360-degree roadmap with clear priorities and actions.

? Current Financial Snapshot
– Monthly take-home income is Rs.?2?lakh.
– You have Rs.?20 lakh in mutual funds/SIPs.
– EPF corpus is Rs.?30 lakh.
– PPF holds Rs.?5 lakh.
– NPS balance is Rs.?11 lakh.
– Insurance cover amounts to Rs.?10 lakh.
– Sukanya Samriddhi for daughter is Rs.?5 lakh.
– Fixed deposit of Rs.?5 lakh also exists.
– Home loan outstanding is Rs.?50 lakh, 10 years left.

You have a mix of growth, safety, and goal-specific savings. That’s a good foundation.

? Define Your Goals & Time Horizons
– Education funding starts soon for your older child.
– Marriage funding may begin around 15–18 years later.
– Loan repayment is within 10 years, matching your retirement schedule.
– Health planning is lifelong and should stay updated.
– Retirement income starts in 11 years.
– Each goal requires its own investment strategy and timeline.
– We will adopt a goal-based funding approach.

? Education and Marriage Planning
– Older child education funding is imminent.
– Allocate existing MF and PPF corpus for this.
– Keep money in hybrid/debt funds for safety.
– Avoid equity for short-term needs.
– For younger child, add regular SIPs in conservative growth funds.
– Don’t interrupt this for other goals.
– Marriage funding starts post age 18.
– You can use long-term mutual funds with gradual equity exposure.
– This remains separate from retirement corpus.

? Home Loan Repayment Strategy
– You plan to retire with no housing debt.
– EMI repayments for 10 years match retirement timeline well.
– Continue EMIs; consider small prepayments to reduce interest.
– After education goals, direct surplus funds to accelerate loan closure.
– Cleared loan frees up significant cash flow post-55.
– This extra fund will directly support retirement income.

? Insurance and Health Cover Needs
– Term insurance of Rs.?10 lakh may be low for your combined goals.
– Aim for at least 10–12 times annual income in term cover.
– This protects liabilities and children’s future.
– Family health cover should be Rs.?10–15 lakh.
– Review annually and increase before retirement.
– Keep health cover active even after 55.
– This prevents retirement corpus being used for medical emergencies.

? Emergency Fund Maintenance
– You need 6–12 months of expenses in liquid assets.
– Maintain separate liquid fund or savings for emergencies.
– Avoid using mutual funds for this buffer.
– Regularly review and replenish this fund annually or after use.
– This ensures your long-term investments remain untouched.

? Mutual Funds & SIP Optimisation
– Your mutual fund corpus is Rs.?20 lakh.
– Current mix may include large-, mid-, small-cap, debt, gold, index.
– Avoid index funds—they carry full market risk with no protection.
– Actively managed funds can exit weak stocks.
– Replace index exposure gradually with active equity funds.
– Continue SIPs with a 10–15% annual step-up.
– This enhances compounding and supports future goals.

? Asset Allocation for Retirement Goal
– For 11 years until retirement, equity-heavy portfolio delivers growth.
– Suggested allocation: 60–70% equity, 20–25% hybrid/debt, 10–15% liquidity/gold.
– As kids’ education completes and loan nears payoff, rebalance gradually.
– By age 55, shift toward 50% debt/hybrid, 30% equity, 20% liquid/gold.
– This reduces volatility and secures regular withdrawal capacity post-retirement.

? Use of NPS, EPF, PPF
– EPF continues to offer a stable retirement base.
– NPS adds diversity and tax benefit; keep topping up.
– PPF provides safety and should be topped up within limits.
– But these alone won't meet Rs.?2?lakh monthly goal.
– Use mutual funds as core to grow your retirement corpus.

? Systematic Withdrawal Plan at Retirement
– At age 55, avoid lump sum withdrawals.
– Use SWP from hybrid/debt funds for monthly income.
– Equity SWP can supplement inflation safeguard.
– This also provides tax-exemption under LTCG.
– The corpus remains intact and grows alongside withdrawals.

? Tax Awareness and Efficiency
– Equity MF LTCG above Rs.?1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains are taxed per slab.
– Plan withdrawals accordingly to minimise tax hit.
– Use 80C/80D for insurance and tax savings.
– Avoid locking funds in ELSS beyond goal-specific planning.

? Portfolio Review and Behavioural Discipline
– Review goals and portfolio every 6 months.
– Avoid panic during market volatility.
– Stay committed to SIP increases and rebalancing.
– A Certified Financial Planner with MFD support helps maintain perspective.
– This ensure consistent progress toward retirement targets.

? Catch-Up Strategy After Loan Closure
– Once loan is closed, channel EMI savings into mutual fund SIPs.
– Expect an extra investment capacity of Rs.?50–60?k monthly.
– This can accelerate corpus accumulation significantly.
– Use this for retirement corpus or other priority goals.

? Non-Financial Retirement Planning
– Retirement is more than money.
– Plan what you want to do after 55 (travel, hobbies, volunteering).
– Maintain good health with regular check-ups.
– Ensure your children’s future is secure and independent.
– This gives life purpose alongside financial security.

? Final Insights
You already have good assets and planning habits.
Key enhancements involve goal-based allocation, stronger insurance, and loan strategy.
Post-child milestones, redirect resources aggressively toward retirement corpus.
Stay committed to disciplined SIPs in active mutual funds.
Monitor progress and rebalance regularly with expert guidance.
By age 55, this will deliver your desired Rs. 2?lakh monthly income securely.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Money
Sir I am 44 yers old and my monthly net salary is 1.85lak. Please help me with a plan to save enough corpus for my daughter education and my retirement ( expected pension 1.5lak , retirement 55 yrs ) Daughter age 14yrs Expected UG education cost : 25 Lak The following are my investemmts and liabilities. Mutual fund 70lak Equity : 5 lak Bank balance 3 lak Gold : 15 Lak Properties : 5cr ( dont want to sell them ) Loans : 55k home loan ( 16 yrs left ) Car loan : 16k ( last 7 emi left )
Ans: Your clarity and readiness to plan are truly appreciated. You are 44, earning Rs.?1.85?lakh monthly. Your daughter is 14, and you aim for her UG education and your retirement at 55 with a pension of Rs.?1.5?lakh monthly. You have a strong real estate base of Rs.?5?crore, which you don’t want to sell. Let’s build a robust 360?degree plan to secure both goals—her education and your retirement.

? Review Your Cash Flow & Goal Timelines

– Monthly net take?home is Rs.?1.85?lakh.
– You have recurring expenses and two loans.
– Car loan EMI Rs.?16k for 7 more months.
– Home loan EMI Rs.?55k for 16 years.
– Daughter is 14; college fee of Rs.?25?lakh needed in 4 years.
– Retirement comes in 11 years.
– Goals have shorter timelines than retirement, so prioritise wisely.

? Emergency Fund & Liquidity Check

– You hold Rs.?3?lakh in bank and Rs.?15?lakh emergency fund.
– Total liquid backup is Rs.?18?lakh.
– This covers 5–6 months of take?home salary.
– It is healthy given your goal timelines.
– Continue holding this separately in liquid mutual fund.
– Do not deploy this towards loans or goals.

? Home Loan Review & Priority

– Outstanding home loan is 16?year balance with Rs.?55k EMI.
– Interest cost over term is significant.
– But prepay only if surplus is available.
– As your education goal is near, avoid major prepayment now.
– After daughter's goal is funded, review prepayment again.
– Until then, continue EMI and maintain liquidity.

? Car Loan – Crystal?Clear Path Ahead

– Car loan EMI is Rs.?16k for next 7 months.
– Once cleared, cash flow improves.
– Immediately redirect freed money post?clearance.
– This will boost your savings rate.

? Education Goal – Rs. 25?Lakh Corpus

– Your daughter needs Rs.?25?lakh in 4 years.
– That is shorter timeframe.
– Equity SIP may face volatility.
– But absence of cash risk suggests partial equity investment.
– Use a balanced approach:

Invest 50% via balanced mutual fund or debt?oriented hybrid.

Invest remaining 50% via equity?oriented hybrid for growth.
– Avoid index funds—they only replicate market and have no downside defence.
– Actively managed funds can moderate falls and improve returns.
– Maintain discipline with monthly SIPs via regular plans through MFD and CFP.
– Consider a top?up via lumpsum if surplus arises after car loan clearance.
– As time shortens (2 years left), gradually shift to debt?oriented funds via STP.

? Retirement Planning – 11 Years to 55

– You aim to retire at 55 with Rs.?1.5?lakh monthly pension.
– To support this, build Rs.?10–12?crore corpus or start a systematic withdrawal plan.
– Your current mutual fund corpus is Rs.?70?lakh in equity.
– You also have Rs.?15?lakh in gold which supports wealth smoothing.
– Avoid real estate, as it locks up capital and lacks liquidity.
– Your focus should shift to financial assets for retirement.
– Start equity SIP for retirement with at least Rs.?50,000 per month.
– Use a mix of mid?cap, large?cap, flexi?cap, and small?cap funds.
– Actively managed equity funds are preferred over index funds.
– Avoid direct mutual fund plans unless you can monitor and rebalance diligently.
– Regular plans via CFP offer ongoing discipline and review.
– A structured asset allocation:

70% equity hybrid and multi?cap for growth.

30% debt funds and PPF for stability.
– This will balance volatility and keep fund available by retirement.
– Plan for SIP step?up each year by 10–15% to build corpus faster.

? Debt & Safer Assets – Stability Backbone

– You hold gold worth Rs.?15?lakh, good as hedge.
– Maintain status; don’t buy more gold now.
– For safety, continue PPF or debt instruments post?retirement.
– Use liquid funds to avoid market risk.
– Corpus allocation needs 40% debt by retirement age.
– Create a shift plan from equity to debt starting at age 50.

? Mutual Fund Taxation Awareness

– Equity mutual funds held over 1 year: LTCG above Rs.?1.25?lakh taxed at 12.5%.
– Short?term equity gains taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains taxed per income slab.
– For retirement withdrawals, SWP blended across years eases tax.
– For education corpus, time redemption to minimise tax.
– CFP advice helps optimise taxable gains across slots.

? LIC and ULIP – Time to Exit

– You have LIC policies and a ULIP?like investment.
– LIC plans are low?return, high?charges.
– ULIPs often come with high allocation costs.
– They also merge insurance and investment poorly.
– Better to exit after lock?in period.
– Surrender proceeds and shift funds to actively managed equity funds via MFD and CFP.
– Purchase a standalone term insurance policy for yourself.
– Avoid insurance?investment mixes and annuities.

? Insurance – Cover Aligned to Goal

– You need a pure term cover of Rs.?2?–?3?crore depending on expenses.
– This ensures family stays secure if anything arises.
– Also ensure your daughter's education is covered under term plan protected sum.
– Maintain separate health insurance with sufficient cover.

? Property Holdings – Wealth, Not Cash

– You hold Rs.?5?crore in property.
– You wish to keep these.
– That is fine; but property is not liquid or yield?oriented.
– Avoid using these assets as emergency backup.
– Focus on cash and financial asset creation instead.

? Yearly Reviews & Discipline

– Have yearly reviews with a Certified Financial Planner.
– Assess fund performance and re?balance if needed.
– Increase SIPs with salary raises.
– After car EMI ends, redirect funds into SIPs.
– Also, annually assess loan structure and prepayment possibilities.
– Keep your SIP investments simple and goal?oriented.

? Avoid These Common Pitfalls

– Don’t chase index funds—they lack active management.
– Don’t pick direct funds—lack guidance may hurt.
– Stay away from chit funds or unsolicited stock tips.
– Don’t mix insurance and investment.
– Avoid an aggressive loan prepayment that depletes reserves.
– Don’t ignore tax planning while redeeming funds.

? Involve Your Family

– Keep your spouse informed about the plan.
– Share progress and discuss goal readiness.
– Involve them in reviewing finance yearly.
– This builds joint commitment and transparency.

? Final Insights

– You are earning well and have good base assets.
– This gives you strong foundation to build goals.
– Daughter’s education need is near; build dedicated SIP accordingly.
– Retirement planning can run in parallel with higher SIP for long term.
– Exit LIC and ULIP plans and transition funds into managed equity.
– Use actives managed mutual funds in regular plans via CFP.
– Step?up SIP each year and rebalance portfolio.
– Avoid selling property; instead build financial asset base.
– Within 11 years, you can accumulate a large corpus securely.
– Family-oriented financial discipline brings peace and security.
– With regular support, you’ll achieve both goals comfortably.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear expert, Im 48, laid off jobless since 2 yrs All i have is savings of 25 -30 lakhs and own house, own car, no land investments, few mutual funds 3 lks and 1 term insurance and 1 family health insurance covering all. No loans, no debts to anyone, no credit cards. Since an yr i put abt 3-4 lks in trading and making little money. However with just 3 people at home, my monthly expenses are very less- milk, paper, no power bill ( coz on solar), no water bill. Just groceries and any eating out. Yearly property tax and car insurance, term insurance totalling to 50k approx. A kid studying 12th class, i have accumulated some money for the education seperately. Currently im doing partime and earning 20k per month which takes care. Please advice if im good financially. Or make better, if i need to be worry free for next 10-15 yrs.
Ans: You are 48, with no loans, no credit cards, and own your house and car. You live with minimal monthly expenses. You have Rs.?25–30?lakh in savings and Rs.?3?lakh in mutual funds. You earn Rs.?20,000 per month through part-time work and trade with a small corpus. Your lifestyle is frugal and efficient. You are managing things very well despite uncertainties.

Let’s now assess your current position, highlight strengths, and show how to make it more stable for the next 15 years.

? Your Lifestyle and Expense Discipline is Excellent
– Living without power or water bills reduces burden.
– Having low monthly expenses shows great control.
– You only spend on groceries, milk, and small outings.
– Your annual fixed expenses are around Rs.?50,000.
– You are saving more by keeping things simple.
– This lifestyle can help money last longer.
– It is a rare and strong advantage in uncertain times.

? You Are Debt-Free and Asset-Light
– No home loan or car loan keeps stress low.
– You own both home and vehicle, so no EMI.
– No credit card usage shows discipline.
– This financial freedom gives mental peace.
– You are protected from rising interest rates.
– It gives you flexibility to manage low income phases.
– This is a strong foundation for retirement years.

? Your Emergency Fund Seems Adequate
– Rs.?25–30?lakh savings is a strong cushion.
– Even with no new job, you have room to plan.
– If your expenses are Rs.?20,000 monthly, savings can last over 10 years.
– Emergency fund should be kept in liquid or ultra short-term mutual funds.
– Avoid keeping all money in bank savings account.
– Divide your cash into short-term and medium-term buckets.
– This will protect your capital and also beat inflation slowly.

? You Have Basic Protection in Place
– Term insurance protects your family in your absence.
– Family floater health insurance is already there.
– Please check the sum insured.
– It should be Rs.?10–15?lakh minimum.
– Keep renewing it yearly without gaps.
– As you grow older, health insurance becomes vital.
– This reduces the need to use savings for medical bills.
– Ensure your policy covers major illnesses and has good hospital coverage.

? Education Planning is Already Done
– You have set aside money for your child’s education.
– That is excellent planning.
– Don't use that for day-to-day needs.
– Keep it in short-term mutual funds or FD if admission is near.
– Avoid investing it in stock market or long-term funds now.
– That money must be kept stable and safe.

? Part-Time Income Is a Great Buffer
– Rs.?20,000 monthly covers your regular household needs.
– This avoids touching your savings.
– You have built a lifestyle that matches your income.
– That is the best financial strategy at this stage.
– Try to continue this income source for few more years.
– Explore home-based work or freelancing options to increase it.
– Even small increases in income will delay need for savings withdrawal.

? About Trading as a Source of Income
– Trading with Rs.?3–4?lakh is fine for testing.
– But don’t depend on it fully.
– Trading profits are not predictable or consistent.
– Market conditions can change overnight.
– Don’t put all your savings in trading.
– Limit it to a maximum 10% of your corpus.
– Avoid using savings meant for living expenses.
– Consider trading as hobby, not income replacement.

? Existing Mutual Funds Should Be Reviewed
– Rs.?3?lakh in mutual funds is a good start.
– Check if these are in regular plans and actively managed.
– Avoid index funds as they carry all stocks, good or bad.
– Active mutual funds are monitored and adjusted by professionals.
– Regular plan via MFD ensures ongoing support and advice.
– Direct plans lack that guidance and monitoring.
– Since your needs are unique, regular route is safer.
– Review these funds with a Certified Financial Planner.

? Suggested Asset Allocation Going Forward
– Keep Rs.?10–12?lakh in safe liquid and short-term mutual funds.
– This will act as your income support for next 5 years.
– Another Rs.?8–10?lakh can go into hybrid mutual funds.
– These give steady growth with moderate risk.
– The remaining Rs.?6–8?lakh can be in equity mutual funds.
– This can be used after 7–8 years, so risk is manageable.
– Keep reviewing this allocation every 6 months.
– Shift to safer funds as you grow older.
– Don’t withdraw money from equity during market downs.

? Avoid Buying Any New Property or Land
– Property resale takes time.
– Renting may not generate enough regular income.
– Maintenance and taxes eat into returns.
– You already have a house.
– Focus now on liquid and tax-efficient financial investments.

? Plan for Next 10–15 Years
– Use your existing savings wisely to create monthly cash flow.
– Don’t withdraw everything at once.
– Start a Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) after 5 years.
– SWP gives you regular income without touching main capital.
– Till then, depend on your part-time income and liquid fund.
– This delay in withdrawal helps your corpus grow.
– Avoid making emotional investment choices during market ups and downs.
– Stay consistent and patient.

? Tax Planning for Investments
– Equity mutual funds have tax benefits if held long term.
– LTCG above Rs.?1.25?lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG is taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains are taxed as per income slab.
– So choose holding period carefully.
– SWP also spreads out taxes more smoothly.
– You can also use 80C and 80D for tax savings if needed.
– Avoid locking too much in ELSS just for saving tax.
– Retirement income should be tax-optimised but flexible.

? Monitor and Review Regularly
– Don’t invest and forget.
– Every 6 months, review expenses and investment performance.
– Check if your income and savings are in balance.
– Make small adjustments if needed.
– Avoid panic selling or impulsive investing.
– A Certified Financial Planner can help make these reviews easier.
– Their ongoing advice will give more confidence and clarity.

? You Don’t Need to Panic
– You are not in financial danger now.
– You have planned with foresight.
– Your cost of living is low and well-managed.
– You already have health and term protection.
– Education needs are covered.
– Your lifestyle is simple and sustainable.
– With wise investing, your money can last beyond 15 years.
– You are better placed than many others in your age group.

? Things to Avoid Going Forward
– Don’t lend money to friends or relatives from savings.
– Don’t invest in unknown or high-return schemes.
– Don’t increase lifestyle expenses suddenly.
– Don’t take personal loans or use credit cards.
– Don’t ignore health insurance renewal or health checkups.
– Don’t put all money in one type of investment.

? Finally
Your base is strong.
Your lifestyle is simple.
Your savings are intact.
You have no debt, and your basic needs are covered.
The next 10–15 years can be peaceful if you follow discipline.
Avoid high-risk investments.
Use mutual funds with MFDs and CFP support.
Plan withdrawals slowly, not all at once.
Keep tracking your plan every 6 months.
That way, you stay worry-free, financially and emotionally.
Keep the mindset that got you this far.
You are already doing most things right.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Money
Hi..... I'm Vivek Kashyap From New Delhi And I've Secured My Seat @ Scaler School of Technology,But Unfortunately The Finance is yet to be Managed and the Deadline to Pay the Fee is 20th July.... My Question is.....That I'd There any option that I can Finance My Education.... B'cuz We aren't Getting Loan From Any Bank Whether it be Govt./Pvt./NBFC.....The Reason Being That My Dad Hasn't Been Filing His ITR....and Also The Papers of Our Asset aren't Registered....So We can't Even Apply for Collateral Based Loans.... So Is it viable to Manage Finance by Somehow.....??
Ans: Your effort to pursue education in technology is praiseworthy. Getting admission is a strong first step. But now, arranging funds quickly and responsibly is crucial. Let’s understand your case in detail and assess every angle.

? Understand the core issue first

– You have secured admission. That’s a solid opportunity.
– But fee payment deadline is very near.
– Traditional loans from banks or NBFCs are not working.
– No ITR from your father makes the process difficult.
– Lack of registered property also blocks collateral-based loans.
– So, regular loan routes are closed at this time.
– We now need to explore alternate ways to manage this.

? Explore co-borrower or alternate guarantor option

– Banks usually prefer parent as loan co-borrower.
– In your case, father’s financials don’t support it.
– But some banks or NBFCs may allow another co-borrower.
– Check if any employed relative with good CIBIL can help.
– Even elder siblings or maternal uncle may qualify.
– If they have stable job and file ITR, they may be eligible.
– Keep all their salary slips, PAN and address proof ready.
– You may try approaching again with alternate co-borrower.

? Approach education-focused finance startups

– There are startups who give loans for skill-based education.
– They may not need traditional collateral or ITR.
– Instead, they evaluate future earning potential.
– But they may charge high interest.
– Ask for detailed terms before applying.
– Don’t go for personal loan at random.

? Ask the college for flexible payment support

– Many institutions offer part-payment plans.
– You can request Scaler to split the fee in 2-3 parts.
– Sometimes, institutes also tie up with education loan partners.
– If they have tie-up NBFCs, check again for eligibility.
– Show your admission letter and explain your problem clearly.
– They may be able to offer extended time.

? Crowdfunding – a short-term possible support

– If you have a strong personal network, try crowd-sourcing.
– Platforms allow you to raise education funds online.
– Create a transparent story and share with known people.
– Don’t depend fully on this unless you have supportive friends/family.

? Don’t rush into informal loan traps

– Avoid private financiers or chit funds.
– They often charge high interest and give pressure.
– Loan sharks and unregistered lenders are risky.
– If you take informal loan, you may end up in debt trap.
– Education should not start with bad debt.

? Work part-time with a clear agreement

– If Scaler offers part-time work-study plan, consider it.
– But don’t take up any job that affects your studies.
– Clarify time commitment and money earned in advance.
– Combine this with staggered payment plan from institute.

? Liquidate or borrow against family gold as a last resort

– If family owns some gold jewellery, pledge it for loan.
– Don’t sell gold. Take gold loan from trusted bank or NBFC.
– They disburse money fast, and interest is moderate.
– Try to keep tenure short. Repay soon after starting job.

? Personal loan under someone else’s name

– If father’s ITR is unavailable, try using family friend’s help.
– They can take personal loan under their name.
– Then give you the money with mutual trust.
– Repay them once you start earning.
– This needs a very strong bond and clear repayment promise.

? Speak to local cooperative banks again

– Some cooperative banks or societies are more flexible.
– They may not strictly follow national bank norms.
– Go with all your documents and co-borrower’s details.
– Speak directly to branch manager, not just clerk.
– A detailed and humble request often helps.

? Structure the funding with clear timeline

– Break down your total fee into parts.
– Find how much you can arrange yourself.
– Add how much friends or relatives can help.
– Then match the gap with gold loan or other option.
– Keep repayment plan ready and realistic.

? Don’t sacrifice long-term peace for short-term entry

– Education is important. But not at financial risk.
– Do not agree to any loan without understanding charges.
– Some informal lenders give quick money but exploit later.
– Protect your family and yourself from such burdens.

? Keep documents ready for next year loan

– Once your father starts filing ITR, you can apply for next-year loan.
– Get this year’s fee managed somehow.
– From next year, plan with formal bank options.
– Also, build your CIBIL score and bank history.
– That will help in future credit needs.

? After education starts – manage money smartly

– Keep expense list and monthly tracking.
– Avoid credit cards or EMI traps.
– Build discipline with small savings.
– Start an emergency fund slowly.
– Once job starts, clear education dues fast.

? Role of Certified Financial Planner

– In future, connect with a CFP to guide your financial journey.
– A CFP can help you invest, save and plan for goals.
– They bring discipline and help avoid mistakes.
– After starting your job, meet one to build wealth properly.

? Finally

– Your aim to study is clear and sincere.
– It’s good that you are seeking solutions early.
– Selling assets or rushing for random loans is not right.
– Explore responsible, step-by-step solutions first.
– Use gold loan or structured part payment only if very necessary.
– Avoid all informal loans or high-interest private loans.
– Stick with formal and planned steps.
– You will surely achieve your goal soon.
– Stay calm and act wisely.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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