Hi madam, I am 58 yrs old and married since 30+ yrs. Have 2 daughters. Elder one is married in 2021 and happy with her life, younger one is working in MNC. Since my marriage i didn't came to know what the relationship to be there between husband and wife as my wife is very reluctant and she loves only money. since my marriage she always fight with me for silly issues and in childhood of my children's she often beat them with whatever she got in hand. always she said that her husband and children's are useless and always give very good reasons and remarks to others in society or family. Now many times i thought of getting away from her either by doing suicide or run away from my home or divorce her. but i just wanted to leave her alone so that she can think of our presence when we are not available to her. my younger daughter is finally decided to leave the home and be alone in another rented flat or on PG due to her mother behavior. please advice if i opt for divorce and run away from home. i can't speak to any one regarding my situation and need immediate help.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage.
It's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is up to the individual. Here are some things you can do to help you move forward:

1. Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you work through your feelings and provide guidance on how to move forward.

2. Take care of yourself: Make sure you're taking care of your own physical and emotional needs. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

3. Set boundaries: If your wife's behavior is causing you distress, it's important to set boundaries. This can include setting limits on spending, or establishing rules around communication.

4. Consider couples therapy: If you're both willing, couples therapy can be a helpful way to work through issues in your marriage and improve communication.

5. Think about your options: If you're considering divorce, it's important to think carefully about your options. Consider speaking with a lawyer who can provide guidance on the legal aspects of divorce.

Remember, every situation is unique, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. Take the time to consider your options and make the decision that's best for you and your family.

Ans: Dear KKR
It's evident that you're dealing with a significant amount of stress and emotional strain due to your wife's behavior and financial situation. It's important to establish clear boundaries in your relationship with your wife. Communicate your concerns about her behavior and the impact it's having on you and your children. Let her know that threatening suicide or leaving home is not a healthy or productive way to resolve conflicts, and express your willingness to support her in seeking help and finding healthier ways to cope Consider sitting down with your wife to have an open and honest conversation about your financial situation and the importance of budgeting and saving for the future. Explore ways to track expenses, prioritize needs over wants, and work together to set financial goals that align with your family's long-term objectives. Consider consulting with a legal or financial advisor to explore options for protecting your assets and securing your financial future, especially if you're concerned about your wife's spending habits and the impact it may have on your financial stability. It's important to remember that you're not alone in dealing with these challenges, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate this difficult time. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals for guidance and support, and prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of your children as you work towards finding solutions to your current situation.

Ans: Dear Amit,
First, recognize that you need to establish a calm and safe environment for your daughter. Witnessing regular fights and hearing abusive language can affect her emotional development. Ensuring her well-being should be your top priority. When disagreements arise, try to de-escalate the situation, even if that means temporarily walking away to avoid heated exchanges. Protecting her from these conflicts will help create a more stable atmosphere.

Your wife's behavior—shifting between anger and normalcy—indicates that there might be underlying issues driving her actions. It could be unresolved frustrations, unmet expectations, or even external stressors affecting her emotions. While her way of expressing these feelings is not constructive, it's important to find a way to understand what’s fueling her anger. Having an open, non-confrontational conversation during a calm moment can be a starting point. Express your concerns about the impact of these fights on your relationship and your daughter, and make it clear that you want to work together to find solutions.

It may also be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or family mediator. A professional can provide a safe space for both of you to express your grievances and work on resolving them constructively. It sounds like trust and respect have eroded in your relationship, and rebuilding them requires mutual effort and clear communication.

At the same time, focus on managing your stress and mental health. The constant worry about the future and your daughter's well-being is understandably affecting your ability to concentrate on work. Practice self-care through activities that help you stay grounded, whether it’s exercise, meditation, or speaking with a trusted friend or counselor about your feelings. Taking care of yourself will help you approach these challenges with a clearer mind.

If your wife continues to threaten to leave or involve her family in ways that disrupt your peace, it’s important to consider all legal and practical options to protect your rights and ensure the best for your daughter. Consult a legal advisor to understand your rights as a father and the steps you can take to secure your daughter’s future if separation becomes unavoidable.

Ultimately, resolving this situation will require patience, empathy, and, most importantly, a focus on what’s best for your child. If both you and your wife are willing to work on the relationship, there is hope for improvement. However, if the environment remains toxic despite your efforts, prioritizing your daughter's emotional and physical safety should guide your decisions moving forward.