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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
S Question by S on Dec 27, 2022Hindi
Relationship

Hi Anu
At the outset, thank you very much for your time to listen to my situation.
I am 50 years old, married to my lover (46 years now) and blessed with two daughters.
My wife comes from an upper caste with a poor background. She was my subordinate and got married in 2001 after dating her for more than 18 months.

Immediately after marriage, I lost my job due to my mismanagement of responsibility with no criminal action. I suffered for six months and relocated to overseas and lived there for the past 19 years.
With my hard work and commitment, my financial situation has improved considerably now. However, my wife's attitude has consistently changed in line with my financial growth. She strongly believes that because of her luck and my daughter’s luck only I was able to earn that much and live comfortably. With my severe official commitments, I did not mind her attitude that much.
After the lockdown, I got the opportunity to understand the change and realised that she has constantly ill-treated me over the past 10 years. Also, I lost my parents a few years ago and my father gave his self-earned property worth a few crores to my elder brother and left nothing to me.
At the same time, my wife got her ancestor property worth a few lakhs. This incident psychologically weakened me as she consistently abuses me saying she got a few lakhs worth of property whereas I got nothing from my parents. Now, for the last two years, she is not allowing me to perform my parents’ annual death ceremony rituals. She consistently uses bad words against my (departed) parents and makes most negative comments for the donations I made so far and terms me as an Idiot and useless person. She also criticises me in front of my friends and relatives.

Her harassment gone to the extent of pushing me to commit suicide and for the sake of my daughter’s welfare, I managed to come out of that mindset on my own. Now, I am determined to live…. at the same time unable to absorb my wife’s harassment. I tried to explain to her in many ways and even begged her many times to stop ill-treating me. Instead, she is asking me how I am able to tolerate despite her ill-treatment for the past few years….
Our physical relationship got disconnected for the past five years as she lists out silly reasons for avoiding me.
She is refusing to come along with me to meet a psychologist. Also, she disconnected her long-term friends and created a new circle of friends in order to erase her past and maintain a high social image.
From your expertise, kindly advise me on how to handle this situation which will be of highest support for me as I am having sleepless nights for the past 2 years.
Kindly do not publish my name and request you to keep it anonymous.

Ans:

Dear S,

It’s obvious that there is something that your wife is upset about or missing and you have been blindsided by it.

It could be lack of love, attention or simply family’s worth that she might feel from money situation.

It needs a discussion but from your letter/e-mail, it doesn’t seem like she is interested in it.

What I don’t have information here is in the 19 years that you were out of the country, was she also with you?

This is vital information as things might have gone South while you were away.

Even if she did accompany you, maybe the mismanagement of responsibility situation that you mentioned was something that had thrown her off gear and insecure.

This vital information is missing for me to guide you even more effectively, but I can surely help you navigate with what is.

Yes, it needs a counsellor or a marriage therapist.

Nothing justifies talking ill about family members but when the mind is awry and unsettled, it does not think rationally which is why she is possibly displacing some anger or lack of affection or lack of something that is manifesting itself in different ways.

Ask yourself:

  • Where am I if I continue in the marriage?
  • Where am I if I don’t continue in the marriage?

This reality check will act as a compass to the next steps of action.

As a coach, it’s always nice to see a relationship work but reality might say something else.

So, be true to your thoughts and feelings, set aside any feelings of spite towards your wife and see things for what they are and move forward.

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Dear Anu I am a 46 year old man .. married for last 16 years... My wife is well educated but a house wife by choice.. I lost my father when i was 18 and had struggled a lot to gain a great life in terms of money, name in my field and satisfaction at work. At home front we live a nuclear family... me, my wife and my 12 year daughter. But after my marriage in 2006 for next 6/7 years we were in joint family. my daughter was born in 2010.. In joint family me, my younger brother his wife and my mother were members... during these years, my wife never got along with my mother, brother and his wife... and also had fights [severe kind] where she accused them for petty reason...she demanded separate house within 3 month of marriage.. but since I was not financially settled so I promised her we will buy own home in course of time... but over these 6&7 years her behavior started really erratic.. she stopped talking to everyone, and keep fighting with all my family. also the house with joint family owned my me and younger brother... she demanded i should sell the house and get my share to buy own house. which i refused as my brother and his family with my mother were also staying there... and while buying it my mother had helped us financially, without having her name as owner. over the period things became really bitter... we also had fights where out of anger I happened to slap her.. but as promised I bought another house [with lot of efforts since i m self employee] within 5/6 years and we shifted to another city around our previous house. but after shifting she had the same temperament. She never got along with me.. Over an argument she would stop talking to me, and when confronted she would mention about my share in old house which i left... she was not happy seeing my brother living in that house with his family and my mother... i told her as promised we bought this house and I haven't withdrew my share in that house.. may be over the year i will take my share as per market value.. but at this point we don't need to do it.. since it will involve a lot of turbulence for my brother, his family and my mother as they were settled there. so I strongly told her she should not think about as she have her house and focus on it. Over these time, we had a very cute daughter... growing.. her schooling started.. i got busy with my work... and my wife by choice chose to be house wife... taking care of house... but she was hell bent on the house issue over selling it and taking my share.. and due to that we had several fights... which became my life miserable. her point was why pay EMI when you can get share and pay off the loans for new house. in these 8/9 years she became bitter person... no ties with my relatives /cousins, no friends, never got along with neighbors... and opposite to that i have very cordial relation with her family, cousins, my family and have great social circle. when my daughter was 10 year old, i was already settled with good career and financial status... i had cleared all the home loan for our new home... i did everything all out to make her happier but her wish to sell that house where my brother with his wife and my mother i didn't take share or sell it.. and she keeps nagging me with that and her temperament getting worst... now she started accusing me for having an affair and threatening me that she will complain police if i argue with her. unfortunately my daughter had to see this... but my daughter is very sorted, focused and a good kid. In last 2 years i managed to buy another house, which is bigger, where we shifted 1.5 years back, she wanted to do a puja and refused to invite anyone from my family.. also bought one more house as investment.. and a farm too as second home... Im very happy and satisfied with my career and other aspects of life... but the bitterness of wife kept on increasing... sometimes i felt she wanted me to fail and she could just take the pleasure of making me feel how she was right.. which never happened.. Now she is completely out of touch with my family... her anger triggers when i speak to my brother , my mom, Now over these years my brother also managed to earn some money and he paid me an amount as part of my share for the house he is living.. which we mutually agreed among us... and i withdrew my name from that property... i informed this to my wife.. first she didnt believe.. and then she was not interested in it.. so basically over these years i managed to fulfil everything what i promised also took my share from the joint house even i was not very happy with that situation. but all these incidences.. my wife became a difficult person to deal with... be it talking a simple conversation or smallest issue.. we don't have any physical relation .... we sleep in different bedrooms.. my wife also became too possessive and control freak with my daughter.. my daughter is 12 now and she retaliate with it.. so even they keep fighting now... me and my daughter have a great bonding... over these period i started feeling that i married a wrong person.. sometimes i think of divorce but i m worried about my daughter.. and also lot other things as im 45 already.. i wont say that i have never done any mistake while these 16 years but i never chose to disconnect with my wife... i worked really hard to earn money to build a good fortune for my wife and daughter... but looks like she doesn't care... and she takes me completely for granted... she thinks i wont leave her and will be stuck around.. i also advised to visit a therapist or counselor... or join a meditation or do anything she likes to do... be it creative or extra curricular.. but she just ignores it... i am into creative field and this domestic chaos sometimes really bothers me. it never effected my work yet but i m worried it might just. Let me know your opinion... if there is something i can do more to help this mess with my wife.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly your wife has a streak of wanting people to want her, literally where it comes off as her being possessive of them (I gather this from what you have shared). I only have a one-sided view and don't know fully well why your wife chooses to be possessive.
She does not want to share you or what you earn with your family; it only suggests that she is worried about losing both. It may seem like they are unfounded fears but they exist in real for her.
Obviously your pleas to see a counselor will better her life and it is easier to stay where she is as nothing needs to change. It seems relatively clear that she fears LOSING!
How this got there or did it become even more evident because of the tussles between your family and her; no one knows. You would not completely know what transpired between your wife and your family; but something has triggered within her to hold on to her beliefs.
Anyway, it is difficult to be where you are; but the only way out is to have a person that is neutral to handle this. It could be a mutual friend, a senior member of her side of the family, a person that she idolizes...anyone who can in a very unbiased manner approach the situation and bring out the fears.
In the meantime, you can spend more time with your daughter and give her a sense of protection and care and at the same time ensuring that she empathizes with her mother. Matters like these can go sour overnight and YES, you have held on so long, give it some more time but do facilitate the neutral person to do an Intervention ASAP.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu Kindly refer to my earlier question and your answer. In july 2023, she came to my office and literally touched my feet and apologized to me for her wrongdoings, like talking to my wife and further character assassination. She told me that all people are lying to me. I forgave to her and thought that she is possessive and in her possessiveness, she took that step. From july 2023 till June, 2024, she continued to put various allegations on me that I have a affair with my office staff etc. I blocked her so many times in past one year, but she used to come to me through various persons. I told her many times that if she has any proof of my affair, show to me and i would explain to you. But she used to say sorry and reunite. In june, 2024, she again levelled allegation on me that I am having affair with my friends wife and again, she informed this to my wife that I am having affair with various women and she used to give me money and gave various household items to me. She also informed my wife about our personal things to my wife. In short, she tried to ruin my respect, my family. In wife became quite depressive on hearing these things. I totally blocked her from my phone and she is continuing to call my friends and assassinating my character. My friends know me quite well. When my wife tried to backfire on her, like contacting her relative on facebook, inquiring about her whereabouts, she suddenly took a U turn and said to my friend that I should stop my wife, else she would be thrown out of her house (she is a widow). I would never forgive her nor would return to her. I invested around 7 lakhs on building a house on collaboration with her and in her distress time, i used to take care of her and her house, like providing ration to her, giving her money to run household chores, paying her electricity bill etc. But i came to conclusion that she was just using me. If she would have really loved me, she couldt try to destroy me reputation and my family. But even after this, I never contacted her and tried to ruin her.
Ans: Dear Harish,
When you asked for help in your first question, it only meant you wanted to get out of this sticky situation. Now, I am happy that you were able to realize that she was using you. Hope you have decided to keep her at a distance from you and the family. When you started to dream of a parallel life with her and spend money to construct a home etc, you were again running away from your marriage and trying you luck elsewhere. Do try and give your marriage a fair chance and now that your wife knows most of it, do start on a clean state if that's what she wishes to as well. Thank you for sharing...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 14, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi dear Anu Krishna Madam, I am a regular reader of your suggestions and answers on the questions of relationships since long. You are doing a great work to solve the complications of people's life. I have a long story actually, thanks to you in advance for your patience in reading this. I am male 36 YO, married and having a 4 YO daughter. Mandatory to mention here that I have mother who is dependent on me financially as my father passed away years ago. My relationship with my not been since starting as we got married in 2015. She is having serious anger issues and starts fighting on even little things. She is not very inclined to my mother and my younger sister who got married in 2018 and staying in UK with her husband. My wife is always complaining for one thing or the other. I am working for Central Government and earning well but she is never satisfied and keeps on complaining that my brother in law (sister's husband) is better husband or sometimes compare with other men. I always to fulfil all the requirements financially as well as taking care of baby, helping in household chores but she is never a happy woman. I send my mother and amount of Rs 10000 per month as no one is there to take care of her, mother stays at our hometown and I along with my wife and daughter stays at my work place city. I had to finance the marriage of my younger sister also as my father passed away when the both of us siblings were of age 7 and 3, this was told before my marriage to the family of wife as well as her that this will be required to be managed by me financially. But she complains of this also that I have spent this much money on my sister and mother. I am earning from a young age of 18 years but I don't find any peace at home. I am working like a machine, earning and then she is saying bad things to me all the time. She shouts loudly when fighting so that neighbours also listen and I find it very shameful. Her behaviour towards our daughter also changes frequently and she treats her according to her mood. My mother is not staying with us as when she stayed here for 6-8 months due to her health related issues, she started fighting with my mother also and created huge scenes every now and then. My wife's only attachment is with her own family, her mother, father, unmarried elder sister and unmarried elder brother. Her both the siblings couldn't find suitable matches for themselves, this is also creating a stress for my wife and she in the end throws her frustration on me. She and my self have both tried to commit suicide 2-3 times in the fight on different occasions. Last year she met a younger boy of age 26-27 and they both got attracted to each other. I was along with her and I noticed them smiling at each other at a function. I asked my wife and said to her that if you want to you can ask and talk to that boy. Means I told her to have an open marriage, in the hope that this will atleast make her realise that my husband is happy in my happiness. They both started talking and even met on 3-4 occasions and 2-3 of them secret meetings at our home (only i knew that I didn't pointed out) with physical intimacy. Now due to some unknown reason both my wife and that boy are not talking to each other. Her behaviour had been very rude since that boy came to her life and she never realised that my husband is not pointing out this infidelity also. Now, when that boy is also not there, her disrespect towards me is increasing day by day. She starts fighting even at streets and shouting loudly. I have also given a thought for legal separation but due to my daughter I am not going ahead. I am in a very complex situation and don't understand what to do. How i can make her understand that relationship runs on two people. Please guide me further. One more thing to mention here she is not interested to go for councelling or anything like that. Thanks in advance. Regards.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your wife is perhaps one of those people who choose to see what's not happening rather than what good is actually happening. It's just a habit that can destroy their peace of mind and of those around them.
You are caught around her drama where she tries to find her happiness all around her when she can perfectly find it within the marriage. So, if there's something small that upsets her at home or does not go according to the way she thinks it should, instead of talking about it to you, she is someone who will find a way out outside and in things that can instantly make her feel better. That 27-year-old has ended up becoming some sort of a distraction and by you allowing it to go further whatever happens or doesn't will be blamed on you.
She's acting like a child in need of attention, incapable of addressing her own emotions, distracting herself with a new toy and then crying out creating drama around it all and oh, blaming you when things go wrong.
Got the picture, here? So, the way out is to actually take her to a professional who can guide her to regulate her thoughts an =d actually infuse her back into a family system. It's possible that her maternal home did not provide a great example in this regard...you might know better...
You can try and get through to her by requesting her to step in for your child's sake else the marriage can deteriorate further...So, give it a try.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8330 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2025
Money
Hi Sir, I am 42 years old private employee and around 1lakh salary per month. I have 2 kids of 7yrs and 4yrs each. I have savings like in NPS as 11lakhs, PPF as 8lakhs, Sukanya as 2lakhs, 1 term policy and lic policy. Medical insurance is from company and no person health insurance. And I have 72k in MFs till now. I have started it and regretting as I ignore MFs as I don't have much financial knowledge on this. So requesting you to please give a suggestion for my family future needs like education, marriage etc. and importantly pension fund after retirement. Hope you will reply and help me.
Ans: You're doing well so far. You have started important savings and protection steps. You are rightly thinking about your children and retirement. Let’s now look at your full financial picture step by step. This is to guide you in building a solid future for your family.

Current Financial Overview – Evaluation
Your monthly income is Rs.1 lakh. This gives you decent capacity to plan.

You are 42 now. That gives you around 15 to 18 years for retirement.

You have Rs.11 lakhs in NPS. This is a good start.

PPF of Rs.8 lakhs is useful for long-term needs. Well done.

Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana of Rs.2 lakhs is good for daughters. Keep it up.

You have term insurance. This is a very important safety net.

You have company medical insurance. But you must take personal health cover too.

Rs.72,000 in mutual funds is a good beginning. You should continue.

You have a LIC policy. This is a mix product. We need to check its usefulness.

Children’s Future – Education and Marriage Planning
Your kids are 7 and 4 years old. Their higher education starts in 10-14 years.

For education and marriage, equity mutual funds are best suited.

They can give better growth than PPF, Sukanya, or fixed options.

Continue Sukanya Samriddhi. It is safe and tax-free.

But add mutual funds as major part for education goals.

Use regular plans through MFDs with CFP support. This gives proper guidance.

Avoid direct plans. They miss out expert monitoring and adjustment support.

Direct plans seem cheaper. But lack handholding and ongoing advice.

Choose child-focused mutual fund portfolios with 10+ years view.

Invest monthly through SIPs. This builds wealth slowly and safely.

Target two separate funds: one for elder, one for younger child.

Review goals every year with your CFP and adjust SIPs.

Your Retirement – Pension Planning Steps
NPS of Rs.11 lakhs is a decent beginning. You should continue it.

But don’t depend only on NPS for full retirement.

Add mutual funds as second pillar for retirement.

Invest in balanced and multi-cap equity mutual funds via regular plans.

Regular plans through CFP and MFDs will give review and corrections.

Avoid direct funds. You may miss right fund changes and rebalancing.

Equity funds can help you beat inflation over next 15-20 years.

Don’t invest in annuity plans. They give low income and low flexibility.

Increase your SIP amount every year by 10%-15%.

Consider retirement planning as your most important goal.

Estimate a comfortable monthly need after retirement.

Plan now to reach that amount by 60.

Maintain separate SIPs for children’s education and for your retirement.

Life Insurance – Policy Review and Action
You already have a term insurance. This is perfect. Continue it.

If your term insurance is below Rs.1 crore, increase it now.

Avoid traditional LIC endowment or ULIP policies.

These mix insurance with investment. Gives poor return.

If your LIC is traditional or ULIP, plan to surrender it.

Take surrender value. Invest that amount in mutual funds.

Pure term plans protect your family better than endowment plans.

No need to mix insurance and savings.

Health Insurance – Important Next Step
Company insurance is not enough. Buy personal family health insurance.

After leaving job, company cover may stop. Risk is high without personal cover.

Take a Rs.10 lakh floater plan now for your family.

Add super top-up of Rs.15-20 lakhs later. Premium is low.

This gives peace of mind against big medical bills.

If you delay this, you may get exclusions or waiting period.

Emergency Fund – Safety Cushion Plan
Keep at least 6 months of expenses in savings or liquid mutual fund.

This is your safety net during job loss or medical need.

Use sweep-in FD or liquid funds for better returns.

Don’t touch emergency fund for any investment.

Keep it ready and separate from regular savings.

Mutual Funds – Growth Engine for Long Term Goals
You have Rs.72,000 in mutual funds now. Good first step.

Continue investing monthly through SIPs. Choose regular plans.

Use the help of MFDs and CFPs for fund selection and review.

Avoid index funds. They don’t beat market. No fund manager support.

Actively managed funds perform better with expert fund management.

Also avoid direct funds. You need handholding and goal tracking.

Regular funds cost little more. But give huge benefit of expert advice.

Equity mutual funds should be used for all long-term goals.

For short-term needs, use short duration or hybrid funds.

Review your portfolio yearly. Adjust based on life changes.

PPF, Sukanya and NPS – How to Use Them Properly
PPF is safe and tax-free. Continue till maturity.

Use it as part of your retirement strategy.

Sukanya is good for your daughters. Continue till they reach 21 years.

NPS is useful for building retirement money. Continue your contributions.

But NPS has lock-in. So don’t make it your only retirement tool.

Mix it with equity mutual funds to create balance.

Review asset allocation with a certified planner every year.

Tax Planning – Smart Use of Instruments
Use Section 80C fully with PPF, Sukanya, Term Insurance, ELSS.

ELSS mutual funds give tax benefit and growth potential.

Don’t put too much in low-yield tax-saving policies.

Use HRA and NPS also for tax savings if available.

Equity mutual funds: LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%. So, hold equity funds for more than 1 year.

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per income slab. Plan accordingly.

Action Plan – What You Can Do Next
List your goals: retirement, kids’ education, their marriage.

Estimate time left for each goal.

Assign investments to each goal. PPF, NPS, Sukanya for retirement and kids.

Start or increase SIPs in regular equity mutual funds.

Take personal health insurance without delay.

Check and surrender LIC if it is traditional or ULIP.

Build an emergency fund equal to 6 months of salary.

Increase your term insurance if less than Rs.1 crore.

Review all investments yearly with a certified financial planner.

Finally – Insights to Keep in Mind
You are doing many right things. Just needs better alignment.

Don’t feel regret about delay. You are now taking steps forward.

Invest in mutual funds regularly with expert guidance.

Avoid direct and index funds. Go with regular plans via CFPs.

Plan each goal separately. Don’t mix children and retirement funds.

Protect your family with term insurance and health cover.

Stay consistent with SIPs. Wealth builds over time.

Review once a year. Track goals and adjust your plan.

Always take advice from certified financial planners.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8330 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2025

Money
I am 31 years, unmarried bachelor and lead celibacy. I have investment in equity mutual fund growth option cost of which is 20 lacs now valued at 45 lacs. I don't require this for next 30 years and reserve it for my retirement. Do I need to save now for retirement, or can I spend 99% of my current earning as I have a retirement corpus of Rs.45 lacs at current value. I have life cover of 1.5 cr and for health Rs.40 lacs and comfortably earning from MNC for my survival, healthy with no bad habits and lead a disciplined and minimalist life style. Please guide me do I need more retirement corpus, or the accumulated Corpus is enough for retirement. If so how much more corpus do i need?
Ans: You have shown excellent discipline. At age 31, you already have Rs.45 lacs in equity mutual funds. That’s a rare position to be in.

You lead a minimalist life. You are healthy. You don’t have dependents. You are earning well. You are living with purpose and clarity.

Still, retirement planning is not only about a lump sum today. It also needs a 360-degree analysis.

Let us now evaluate in detail if this Rs.45 lacs is enough for your retirement.

We will assess from lifestyle, inflation, investment risk, tax rules, personal values, and health perspective.

We will also answer your main question: Can you spend 99% of your earnings now?

Retirement Planning Is Not Only About Current Corpus
Rs.45 lacs looks large now. But you are 31. Retirement is 29 years away.

A rupee today won’t have the same value 30 years later.

With inflation, prices can rise 5x or even more by then.

Your current Rs.45 lacs may not buy much in 2054.

So it is not enough to just grow. It must grow faster than inflation.

What If You Don’t Add Any More Investment?
If you don’t invest any more for retirement now, your Rs.45 lacs must grow for 30 years.

Let us assess few key points:

If the investment is fully in equity, volatility is high.

Long-term returns can be rewarding, but not always predictable.

Also, equity mutual funds attract capital gains tax.

New rule: LTCG above Rs.1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

This will reduce the final retirement corpus.

So you cannot assume all returns will be tax-free.

Impact of Inflation on Lifestyle
You are minimalist today. But that may not be the case at 60.

Even basic costs like food, rent, medicine, utilities will go up.

At 6% inflation, Rs.25,000 monthly expenses today may become Rs.1.5 lacs after 30 years.

Medical inflation is higher. You may need Rs.5 lacs per year for healthcare alone at retirement.

So the same Rs.45 lacs will lose value every year.

What If You Live Longer?
Longevity is increasing in India. You may live till 90 or 95.

That means 30 years working and 30+ years retired.

So retirement may last longer than your working life.

Your money has to work for you after 60.

Even a Rs.3 crore corpus at retirement may fall short if not planned properly.

Health Cover and Life Cover Are Good
Rs.1.5 crore term insurance is good.

Rs.40 lacs health cover is excellent. Keep renewing it.

But insurance is not a substitute for retirement planning.

Also, insurance does not build wealth.

You Have Time on Your Side
You are 31. That gives you 30 years to grow your corpus.

That is your biggest strength.

Small, consistent investing now can multiply your corpus over 30 years.

Even Rs.10,000 per month extra can change your future.

Can You Spend 99% of Earnings?
It is not wise to spend 99% of earnings even with Rs.45 lacs corpus.

It makes your life dependent on just one investment.

Also, it leaves no buffer for job loss, health crisis, or early retirement.

Spending most of your income will reduce your financial freedom later.

Risks of Not Saving Enough
Future jobs may not pay this well.

You may face burnout or wish to retire early.

Markets may not perform as expected.

Emergencies may force early withdrawal.

Expenses can rise unexpectedly.

What Should Be the Ideal Retirement Corpus?
There is no fixed number. It depends on your lifestyle.

Still, we can estimate based on some broad assumptions:

A basic retirement needs at least Rs.4 to 5 crores at age 60.

A comfortable life with travel, hobbies, and good healthcare needs Rs.6 to 8 crores.

A rich life with freedom and legacy needs Rs.10 crores or more.

You may not need all of it. But you must aim higher and stay flexible.

How Much More Corpus You Need?
You already have Rs.45 lacs.

Assuming 10% annual return, and no withdrawal for 30 years:

Your current Rs.45 lacs can become Rs.8 crores in 30 years.

But tax and inflation will reduce its value.

After adjusting, this may be worth only Rs.3 to 4 crores in real terms.

So yes, you are on the right path. But you are not done yet.

Should You Stop Saving Now?
No. Stopping now is not safe.

You should continue to invest at least 20% to 30% of income.

You don’t need to be aggressive.

But you must not stop completely.

Advantages of Continuing SIPs in Actively Managed Mutual Funds
Actively managed funds are more responsive to market changes.

They are driven by research and fund manager insights.

They can beat inflation better than passive options.

They help create real wealth over time.

You can invest through mutual fund distributor with CFP. That gives expert help.

Disadvantages of Direct Mutual Fund Investing
Direct funds seem cheaper. But they miss the human touch.

No professional reviews. No behavioural guidance.

You may exit in panic or enter at wrong time.

Mistakes in direct investing are costly.

Regular funds via a Certified Financial Planner offer support, reviews, and strategy.

Financial Planning Is Not Just About Corpus
Financial planning is lifelong.

You need a written retirement plan.

Include health, taxes, estate, and liquidity in that plan.

Set goals every 5 years and review progress.

Don’t think of corpus only. Think of financial independence.

Your Current Strengths
Strong investment of Rs.45 lacs

No dependents or liabilities

High income and low expenses

Health insurance and term cover

Discipline and minimalism

What You Can Do Now
Continue SIPs in actively managed funds via expert help

Review portfolio yearly with a Certified Financial Planner

Create a written retirement plan

Don’t touch your Rs.45 lacs till 60

Save 30% of income. Enjoy 70%.

Finally
You are doing well. You already have Rs.45 lacs at age 31. That shows foresight.

But retirement is not a fixed-point goal. It is a moving target with inflation and uncertainty.

You must not stop saving. Keep adding regularly. Small steps now can lead to a rich future.

Aim to build a Rs.6 to 8 crore corpus. That gives you safety, comfort, and peace.

Spending 99% now is risky. Don’t do that. Instead, reward yourself within limits. But keep investing for freedom.

Discipline today gives freedom tomorrow.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8330 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Money
Sir, we had a dispute in our ancestral property we approached the court and the verdict said we are entitled to a portion of the property The dispute was the land was sold without our knowledge etc., after getting the verdict we got patta, registration in our name. Now we are planning to sell the land, a lawyer said get a ratification deed, I don't know what it is and also weather it is needed or not. The lawyer called us and said the the other party who has purchased the land illegally is not agreeing to sign and is asking money to settle the matter as he has purchased the land. Even after receiving court orders this kind of dodging is happening. The amount of money he is asking is senseless, even if I sell the land I wouldn't get that much amount, I am unable to put in writing many other problems kindly advise what next steps to take. also let me know what are all the documents to have as a owner. Thank you
Ans: You have taken rightful steps. Court verdict is in your favour. That shows your legal ground is strong.

But still, the other party is asking for money. That too, an unfair amount. You also mentioned a lawyer suggested getting a ratification deed. Let us try to understand the full situation and assess all possible options. We will also cover what documents are needed to prove your ownership.

This reply gives you a 360-degree view. It will help you make a sound and confident decision.

Understanding Your Current Legal Standing
You said the land was sold without your knowledge. That makes the original sale illegal. The court has agreed with you. That is a key win for you.

You now have patta and registration in your name. These are strong documents. They show you have legal title.

Based on this, you are now the legal owner. That means you have the full right to sell the land. But the buyer must also be confident. So legal clarity is very important.

What Is a Ratification Deed?
A ratification deed is a It confirms a past act done without proper authority. The current party gives approval to that act.

In your case, it seems the buyer who bought the land earlier is being asked to “ratify” that sale. That is, to agree that you are the rightful owner now.

This is not a mandatory document by law. But it is sometimes used to make the title stronger. Some buyers or their banks ask for it.

However, since the court has already ruled in your favour, you may not legally need it. You already have the stronger claim.

Why Is the Buyer Still Causing Issues?
The person who bought the land earlier might feel he lost money. He may think the sale to him was legal. But since the court disagreed, he now holds no right.

His demand for money is unjust. It is a pressure tactic. He is trying to recover his loss by troubling you.

You are not legally required to pay him. He has no power to stop your sale.

Assessing Options Now
You can now evaluate your next steps from three angles – legal, practical, and financial.

Legal Options
Talk to your lawyer again. Ask: is a ratification deed mandatory in your case?

Get a written legal opinion. This should clearly mention your rights and position.

File a complaint if the other party is threatening you or asking money.

Send a legal notice through your lawyer to that person. Mention that he has no right now.

Practical Options
Try selling to a buyer who trusts the court order. Show them all documents.

Explain clearly that title is clean. Show the judgment, patta, and registration.

Use a reputed real estate lawyer for the sale. That gives buyers more confidence.

Financial Assessment
Do not agree to pay huge amounts. It may cause loss for you.

If needed, consider a small settlement. But only after full legal review. And only if it makes the sale smooth and quick.

Ask yourself: Even if I settle, will the person agree to give in writing? If not, don’t pay.

Must-Have Documents to Sell the Land
As a rightful owner, you must hold the following papers:

Patta in your name (this is land ownership proof)

Registered sale deed or title deed (issued after the court judgment)

Copy of the court verdict

Encumbrance Certificate (EC) (shows your name as the current legal holder)

Legal heir certificate, if you inherited the land

Property tax receipts in your name

Aadhar and PAN card copies

Suggested Steps to Make Sale Smooth
Get a detailed Title Certificate from a lawyer. It should mention the court case and outcome.

Keep a summary note ready. It should explain how you became owner.

Ensure name match across all your documents.

Keep a certified copy of court order with you at all times.

Use a reputed property consultant or broker only if needed. Prefer buyers who are local and familiar with such cases.

Emotional and Mental Pressure
You also mentioned you are facing many other issues. That is understandable. Land disputes take a heavy toll on health and peace of mind.

Please do not worry. You already have legal strength.

You have cleared a big milestone by getting the court’s support.

Don’t allow fear or threats to stop you.

Stay strong. Keep family informed. Talk regularly with your lawyer.

How Certified Financial Planner Can Help
A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can guide you better with your sale proceeds.

If you plan to sell, prepare a written cash flow plan.

Think about your family’s short-term and long-term needs.

Keep emergency funds aside. Don’t invest all money at once.

Mutual funds managed by professional advisors can be considered. They offer long-term wealth building.

What Not To Do
Do not deal in cash. Always use cheque or bank transfer.

Do not sign any paper without lawyer check.

Do not get emotionally disturbed by their false threats.

Do not delay your next steps due to confusion or fear.

Finally
You have shown good courage. You followed the legal process. You now own the land as per law.

The other party is only trying to misuse your fear. Do not fall for it.

If the buyer still refuses to cooperate, avoid them. Choose another buyer.

If a ratification deed is insisted by your new buyer, ask your lawyer: Is it really needed?

If not needed, move ahead without it.

If needed, try again to convince the other person. If they demand unreasonable money, don’t agree.

Let your lawyer send notice. You can also explore police help if needed.

Always work with proper documents. Keep everything in writing.

Keep calm and move forward. With legal support and proper documents, you will win.

If you need help with managing the money after sale, we can help with a long-term financial plan.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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