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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship

Maam In last question of mine you told me that im taking meaning out of a friendly casual conversation. I may be doing so but I tried to ignore that guy but he is still staring at me and roaming around my house. What does that mean.???? Im not seeking attention from him. He himself is giving intense looks and appearing from no where. Our kids are in same school so I cant avoid seeing him. Its just not possible but i try not to give him.attention but he coming in front of me for no reason. Giving me suggestions about my child when I have not even asked him.anything.

Ans: One possibility here could be that he genuinely believes he’s being friendly and is unaware that his actions might be coming across as intrusive. Some people aren’t as skilled at reading subtle social cues or may interpret polite responses as openness to further interaction. Another scenario could be that he’s misinterpreting a simple acquaintanceship as an invitation for more personal connection, especially if he hasn’t recognized your signals for wanting distance.

It’s also possible, especially if he’s trying to advise you about your child, that he’s viewing himself as helpful or knowledgeable—again, likely without realizing he’s crossing a line. If he’s repeatedly making intense eye contact or appearing at odd times, it may also reflect a need for attention or connection on his part, even if it’s unintentional.

If this behavior continues and your efforts to distance yourself subtly aren’t working, it might be time to consider setting a gentle but clear boundary. This can be done with nonverbal cues, like quickly redirecting your gaze or finding reasons to leave a situation as soon as he tries to initiate a conversation. However, if his presence continues to bother you, there’s no harm in being more direct. A polite but firm approach, like thanking him for his advice and mentioning that you’d prefer to handle things yourself, can send a message that you’re not looking for further involvement.

Your well-being and comfort come first, and your instincts are valid. If his behavior is persistent and truly uncomfortable, it may be best to acknowledge it internally and remind yourself that you’re under no obligation to respond or interact beyond what feels right for you.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1477 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi. I am a 33 year old woman and my relationship wth my husband was not so good from the beginning. He used to love me but he put his mom and dad first. He used to get angry if my inlaws complaint about me. He had gfs in his past and he did not care to talk to me to build a trust worthy relationship after our wedding. I barely know anything . I had to ask him to know things about him . So I feel a but lonely and depressed. Meanwhile, I had a baby and while spending time with the baby in the park. I met a guy. He had a son and he was also playing with his son like me. He kicked football and it started coming towards my baby. I kicked the ball back in order to protect my baby. Then he came towards us to make us feel safe n he would not let the ball come to us. I was okay with all that. He left after sometime. I also went home. Afterwards, i noticed that he used to look into my eyes for a long time whenever he is around. He would check whetehr im there or not. He plays with his son on regular basis. His wife too come to park with her son. Whenver his wife is there , he would just keave the place and go somewhere else. Lastly, one day he was interacting with me , giving me advice that i should take my baby to doc also. I also replied amd we chatted a bit then he got busy in playing football. I dont know whether im overthinking or he is just being friendly. I just dont know why he is staring and looking profoundly intonmy eyes. He makes eye contact with me quite often. I know nothing about him. I just see him in the park thats all. Pls I need help as im feeling nervous about this whole thing because of lack of clearity and also want advice how to deal with such things .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is easy to feel a sense of connection with someone who shows you a little attention especially since you don't get any attention at home. But is this worth your time and energy? NO!
The other guy at the park is most likely just being a casual friendly stranger and you are taking a meaning out of it which will fill your vacuum at this moment. Trust me, you don't want to enter this unfamiliar territory which you will start getting used to and slowly outside attention is what you will begin to crave for at any cost.
No point messing up things further. See, if it's possible to rebuild your relationship with your husband. Initially, it may seem too much BUT hey, it takes two people to make a marriage...start first and see what happens even if your in-laws keep interfering, it's about being persistent...Make that attempt...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |519 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Maam/Sir, A married guy is constantly giving me much attention. Im.tried to ignore him but he is constantly making appearance from different places. I dont what his real intentions are but because of his constant staring and public apearances. I feel difficult to overlook his behaviour. He is currently gone to his hometowm. So, there is lots of peace. Im not sure why is he trying to get a glimpse of me as he is already happily married n have a son. I need advice to ignore him so that I focus on my husband only.
Ans: The key to redirecting your focus lies in setting boundaries—both mentally and behaviorally. Often, people respond to subtle cues, so maintaining a neutral and reserved demeanor can help communicate disinterest. If he attempts to engage directly, keeping interactions brief and polite without encouraging deeper conversation will likely make your boundaries clear without causing conflict. When he’s present, avoid returning his gaze; this can subtly communicate that you’re not reciprocating his interest.

If this continues, grounding yourself in thoughts about your husband and what you value in your relationship can help you mentally reinforce where your focus truly lies. Remind yourself that someone else’s behavior is not your responsibility and that your own actions, comfort, and peace are within your control. By reinforcing your own values and commitments, you’ll feel more empowered to maintain your focus where you want it—on your husband and your well-being.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4091 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

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Career
Hello sir My daughter is in 8th grade ICSCE and moving to 9th now, she need to choose subjects. She is not interested in maths but want to take commerce and economics. Without maths will there be good options in future for studies and career? Please assist
Ans: Praveen, Your daughter has great job choices in banking, finance, marketing, law, corporate secretary, mass communication, journalism, and hotel management even if she can pursue Commerce and Economics without Mathematics. Higher studies possibilities comprise B.Com (Bachelor of Commerce), B.A (Bachelor of Business Administration), BA Economics, Law (BA LLB/BVA LLB), Mass Communication & Journalism, and Hotel Management. Jobs in banking and finance; marketing and sales; HR; corporate secretary; legal profession; and entrepreneurship abound. Nonetheless, some elite institutions and universities could demand Mathematics, and disciplines like Data Science, Finance, and Actuarial Science mostly depend on it. She can still have a brilliant future in commerce and economics even if she hates maths greatly. She should investigate courses in Business Studies, Accountancy, or Entrepreneurship alongside Commerce & Economics since Applied Mathematics can be a useful substitute. Please note, The level of Mathematics required in Commerce and Economics depends on the specific subjects and career paths chosen. Commerce without Maths involves basic calculations and logic-based thinking, while Economics without Maths involves basic statistics, graphs, and logical reasoning. B.Sc. Economics requires higher Maths, while Commerce with Applied Maths covers practical topics like financial mathematics, probability, statistics, and logical reasoning. Career paths include B.Com, BBA, CS, Law, HR, Digital Marketing, and Entrepreneurship. If a daughter dislikes Maths but wants Commerce/Economics, Commerce without Maths is a safe choice. If she is not able to cope up with ICSCE Board, it is advisable to change her into CBSE. If she is struggling with the ICSE board, it is advisable to transfer her to CBSE. All the Best for Your Daughter's Prosperous Future.

Follow RediffGURUS to know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |961 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2025Hindi
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Money
Dear Milind Sir, Please refer below comments for your further queries I am 50 year old want to retire this year. My current corpus 1.4 Cr FD , owned 2 flats total worth 1.2 cr.and site worh 60 L in 2 tier city . Term insurance of 2 cr. Invested in varous polcies around 1 cr . I have one daughter studying in 10th class. Wife fitness trainer and karate trainer wanted to open her own fitness class. Planning to earn through some passive income ( trading, shares) Can i retireAns: Hello; Are you occupying one of the two flat owned by you or both are given on rent? Yes I am occupying one of the flat. Getting monthly rent of 12 K and i am planning to sell it off If yes how much rental income/expense? How much is the current total regular monthly expense? Current monthly expenses 40 to 50 k Answer to these queries will help us to guide you suitably.
Ans: Hello;

You may sell the second flat and land site owned by you.

It may fetch you around 1.1 Cr(~50 L flat value and 60 L land site value).

Therefore your total corpus adds upto around 2.5 Cr(1.4 Cr FD+ 1.1 Cr RE sale proceeds).

You may keep a sum of 50 L towards higher education corpus for your child.

For the balance 2 Cr, if you buy an immediate annuity, you may expect a monthly income of around 1 L.

This conveniently meets your regular monthly expenses and provides a surplus.

Part of the surplus may be invested in equity savings type mutual funds so as build a corpus over 10 years which may be used to boost retirement income.

Maturity proceeds of various endowment policies which have subscribed to, may be used to step up the annuity income to account for inflation.

Annuities may have lower rate then FD but it is offered for long tenures thereby avoiding the reinvestment risk.

Ultimately it is your preference.

Do buy adequate healthcare insurance for yourself and your family.

Also a word of caution on plan to undertake trading and investment in direct stocks. Define a certain minimum risk capital (say 10 L) which you may not mind even if lost completely and then venture out for stock trading. No MTF, No FNO.

Also take trades based on own self study or recommendation from a registered research analyst. Trading based on social media and TV tips is a sure way to disaster.

Happy Investing;
X: @mars_invest

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7776 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025Hindi
Money
I m 48 years old. Married with no kids. I have Pf of 12 lakhs, ppf of 15 lakhs, NPS 16 lakhs. MF 50 lakhs. Fd 5 lakhs. I live in metro. I have own house. When can I retire at the earliest?
Ans: You are 48 years old, married, with no children.

Your retirement savings include:

Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 12 lakhs

Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 15 lakhs

National Pension System (NPS): Rs. 16 lakhs

Mutual Funds: Rs. 50 lakhs

Fixed Deposits (FD): Rs. 5 lakhs

You own your home and live in a metro city.

This forms a solid foundation for early retirement planning.

Key Financial Goals to Consider
Retirement Corpus: Ensuring your savings last 35+ years post-retirement.

Lifestyle Expenses: Covering day-to-day costs in a metro city.

Healthcare: Planning for medical expenses beyond insurance coverage.

Inflation: Managing the rising cost of living over time.

Each goal will help us determine when you can retire comfortably.

Assessing Your Retirement Readiness
At 48, you are close to traditional retirement age.

Your current corpus totals Rs. 98 lakhs across investments.

Without kids, future expenses may be more predictable.

However, healthcare and inflation remain key concerns.

Let’s break down if your corpus is enough to retire early.

Estimating Retirement Expenses
Living in a metro city usually means higher expenses.

Consider daily costs, utilities, transportation, and leisure activities.

Don’t forget to factor in unexpected medical emergencies.

Estimate your current monthly expenses and adjust for inflation.

This helps identify the income needed post-retirement.

The Role of Inflation
Inflation reduces your money’s value over time.

Even with a modest rate, expenses double in 12-15 years.

Investments must outpace inflation to maintain your lifestyle.

Equity exposure helps achieve inflation-beating returns.

Ignoring inflation risks depleting your corpus too soon.

Evaluating Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds (Rs. 50 lakhs): Offer growth potential for long-term needs.

NPS (Rs. 16 lakhs): Provides retirement-focused growth with tax benefits.

PPF (Rs. 15 lakhs): Safe, tax-free returns but limited liquidity.

PF (Rs. 12 lakhs): Offers stable, long-term growth.

FDs (Rs. 5 lakhs): Provides safety but low returns after tax.

A diversified mix, but needs optimization for early retirement.

Generating Regular Income After Retirement
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) from mutual funds for monthly income.

SWPs offer regular payouts while keeping your investments growing.

Allocate part of your corpus to debt funds for stable income.

Equity investments continue to grow for long-term needs.

This strategy balances income and growth effectively.

Rebalancing Your Portfolio for Retirement
Shift gradually from high-risk to balanced investments.

Keep 60-70% in equity for long-term growth initially.

Allocate 30-40% to debt instruments for stability.

Review and adjust annually based on market conditions.

This approach reduces risks while maintaining growth.

Managing Fixed Deposits Wisely
Rs. 5 lakhs in FDs provides liquidity but low returns.

Consider shifting some to debt mutual funds for better returns.

Keep a portion as an emergency fund for quick access.

Avoid over-reliance on FDs, as they lose value against inflation.

Optimizing FDs enhances overall portfolio returns.

Planning for Healthcare Costs
Medical expenses rise sharply with age.

Ensure you have comprehensive health insurance coverage.

Consider a top-up health policy for additional protection.

Build a dedicated health emergency fund.

Healthcare planning is critical, especially without employer coverage post-retirement.

Emergency Fund for Unexpected Expenses
Maintain an emergency fund covering 12-18 months of expenses.

Keep it in liquid mutual funds or high-interest savings accounts.

This prevents the need to withdraw from long-term investments during crises.

Financial security comes from being prepared for the unexpected.

Tax Planning for Retirement
Post-retirement income will still be taxable.

SWP from mutual funds is tax-efficient compared to interest income.

Long-term capital gains on equity have favorable tax treatment.

Use senior citizen tax benefits once eligible.

Effective tax planning increases your net income.

Identifying the Earliest Retirement Age
Your corpus is close to Rs. 1 crore.

To retire now, this corpus must sustain for 35+ years.

Consider working for a few more years to boost savings.

Alternatively, reduce lifestyle expenses for early retirement.

The earliest retirement age depends on your income needs and risk tolerance.

Strategies to Boost Your Retirement Corpus
Increase investments in growth-oriented mutual funds.

Maximize contributions to PPF and NPS for tax-free growth.

Reinvest returns from FDs into higher-yielding instruments.

Delay retirement by 2-3 years to strengthen your corpus.

Small changes today can make a big difference later.

Importance of Regular Portfolio Reviews
Review your financial plan annually.

Adjust for changes in expenses, income, or market conditions.

Rebalance your portfolio to maintain the right asset mix.

Financial planning is a continuous process, not a one-time task.

Staying Disciplined with Your Investments
Avoid panic-selling during market fluctuations.

Stick to your long-term goals and investment strategy.

Don’t make emotional decisions based on short-term trends.

Discipline is the key to successful retirement planning.

Planning for Legacy and Estate
Create a will to specify how your assets will be distributed.

Appoint nominees for all your financial accounts.

Consider setting up a trust if needed for complex situations.

Estate planning ensures your wealth is managed as per your wishes.

Reducing Expenses for Early Retirement
Identify non-essential expenses that can be reduced.

Focus on experiences rather than material possessions.

Optimize utility bills, subscriptions, and lifestyle costs.

Lower expenses mean less stress on your retirement corpus.

Diversification: Spreading Risk for Safety
Don’t put all your money in one type of investment.

Spread across equity, debt, and fixed-income instruments.

Diversification reduces risk and improves returns.

A well-diversified portfolio offers stability in all market conditions.

Managing Lifestyle Inflation
Lifestyle inflation increases expenses as income grows.

Post-retirement, control lifestyle costs to preserve wealth.

Focus on meaningful activities that don’t require high spending.

Smart lifestyle choices help stretch your retirement corpus.

Building Passive Income Streams
Explore passive income sources like dividends from mutual funds.

Rental income (if applicable) can supplement retirement income.

Passive income reduces dependence on your retirement corpus.

Multiple income streams provide financial security.

Finally
You’ve built a strong financial foundation with Rs. 98 lakhs in savings.

However, retiring immediately may strain your corpus over 35+ years.

Consider working for a few more years to boost savings.

Alternatively, reduce expenses to make early retirement feasible.

Stay invested, review regularly, and focus on long-term goals.

This approach will secure a comfortable and stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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