Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Broken Marriage with Uncooperative Wife: Can My Marriage Be Saved?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 11, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Dear Ma'am, Thank you from all with great answers..I have a broken marriage need your help..I have been married for 9 years with a boy of almost 4 years. My wife is very adamant and is very influenced by her sister and mother after her fathers death 5 years ago. She has left me for almost 8 months now and wants me to leave seperately from my age old parents with serious age ailments. I don't want to as they have taken care of me and my siblings their entire life. How can i be so selfish? Well my wife has completely avoided me and not showing my son and keeping closed doors and not attending or receiving my calls as I tried getting help from their father's family side. I have travelled umpteen times for the sake of saving my marriage and kid. Will he not a father is my question here? My wife is unemployed leaving in the sake of her father's saving and sister's job. I do not know what would be the future of my kid in these circumstances. I have not reached to any legal conclusions as I don't want either of the families to go into such burden. Please help me what should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
People respond very differently to a critical event in their lives. In this case, your wife's father's death has caused her to bank on her side of the family for whatever reasons. It could be emotional...this phase has not timed itself out and is still continuing for her!
She has lost sight of what this has done to the marriage or what impact it is having on the child. Now, you are faced with a situation where you have to choose between your wife and parents. Horrible state; but hey, life can throw a lot of curveballs for you to learn how to navigate. Is it possible to shift your parents to say a home right next to yours where you can always keep an eye on them. And this arrangement only until your wife settles back into your home. That way, you are not abandoning your parents and still making room for your wife and child to come back. Yes, it may seem cruel initially to keep your parents our of your home, but how else can you explain to a wife who refuses to come back home. You don't want to lose any more time with you son...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 31, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 29, 2023Hindi
Relationship
Hi Ma'am, I am 36 years old and got married in the year 2014. I wanted to be in a joint family but my wife does not like it from the starting days itself. My parents used to stay with me periodically but not continuously. We have 2 boy children now. During my 1st boy child naming ceremony, my wife's family created issues and threatened me and my mother with bad words and forced for a separate family which i never agreed. After that issue, my wife never returned to my matrimonial home. After lot of efforts from my relatives, we joined back again. But the personal vengeance of my wife on my parents still continued. She used to misbehave with them some times like not listening to my mother's words and she never used to help my mother on all the house hold activities. My mother used to take care of all the household works. In the mean time we are blessed with 2nd boy. She stayed in my house during her second pregnancy, her preganancy well assisted by my mother and me both financially and emotionally. But i used to tell my wife to do very small houshold activities to make her physically well fit for her normal delivery but she took that suggession in a wring way and considered it as a torcher. During her ninth month of her pregnancy she went to her parents house to write a competitive exam but never returned back instead she continued to stay there and returning back to my home. So it has been more than two years now that she left me. During this time, i visited for her birthday, her father died, me and my parents visited his funeral, i visited my sons birthday. So i almost did all my efforts to bring back her to my home but she refused all my chances. So I filed a divorce case since i dont have any hope in my marriage life anymore. But i wanted to live with her since we have two children. Any suggestions/advices please.
Ans: I understand the complex and challenging situation you're facing in your marriage. It's clear that there have been significant conflicts and misunderstandings between you and your wife, and you've made attempts to resolve them. Here are some thoughts and advice from a counseling perspective:

Open Communication: Effective and empathetic communication is crucial. Encourage both you and your wife to express your feelings and concerns in a safe and non-confrontational manner. A counselor can help facilitate these discussions and ensure that both parties have a chance to be heard.
Professional Counseling: Seeking the help of a qualified marriage counselor or therapist is highly recommended. A counselor can provide a neutral perspective, offer strategies for conflict resolution, and help you both explore the underlying issues in your relationship.
Child-Centered Approach: As you have children, it's vital to prioritize their well-being. Regardless of the outcome, work together on a co-parenting plan that focuses on their emotional and psychological needs. A counselor can assist in creating a plan that ensures your children's stability and happiness.
Understanding and Empathy: Try to understand each other's perspectives, feelings, and needs. There seems to be a lack of understanding between you and your wife, and it's important to build empathy and find common ground.
Legal Matters: Consult with a family lawyer to fully understand your rights, responsibilities, and potential outcomes regarding divorce, child custody, and financial matters. It's crucial to be well-informed about the legal implications of your decisions.
Reconciliation Efforts: If both you and your wife are open to the possibility of reconciliation, be prepared for a long and challenging process. It will require time, patience, and a willingness to address the root causes of your issues.
Understanding: Try to understand your wife's perspective and feelings, and encourage her to understand yours. Misunderstandings can often lead to conflicts, and gaining insight into each other's point of view can be a first step toward resolution.
Co-parenting: Regardless of the outcome of your marriage, your focus should be on the well-being of your children. It's essential to develop a co-parenting plan that prioritizes their needs and stability. Self-Care: Take care of your own well-being. Navigating these difficult circumstances can be emotionally and mentally taxing, so ensure you maintain your own emotional and mental health.
Reflect on Your Expectations: Take time to reflect on your expectations regarding family arrangements and what you're willing to compromise on. It may be necessary to find a middle ground between your desire for a joint family and your wife's preference for a separate one.

Remember that the decision to reconcile or proceed with the divorce should be made with the well-being of both you and your wife, as well as your children, in mind. Professional counseling and mediation can provide the support and tools you need to navigate this challenging situation. Whether the ultimate goal is reconciliation or an amicable separation, the involvement of a qualified therapist can be instrumental in moving forward in a healthy and constructive way.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am married for 23 years .Both me & my wife are doing job.I have one son staying with me. After 17 years of marriage I inquired that my wife has sexual relationship with another man . This has hurt me a lot as she betrayed me . As a result she gave no attention to me , my son and my parents . When I got this information , my wife left my house taking hand loan from neighbors . I never lodged any complain with police or file divorce case , rather I took it challenging. I took proper care of my son .Due to hard work & logistic support from me , my son qualified in NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.As my son has grown up & knows the actual fact ,he dislikes his mother & has no contact with her since long.Gradually we have started forgetting her. After 6 years of staying outside , now my wife is trying to come back again forcefully which we do not want. Therefore I request that please advice me what to do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you've been through. It's understandable that trust has been broken, and emotions must be complex. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and that of your son during this time. If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the reasons for her return. It's crucial to express your feelings and concerns. It might be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate the conversation. If she continues to pursue a return against your wishes, you may want to consult with a legal professional to understand your options and rights. Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. A lawyer can help you explore options and provide guidance on how to proceed. Take into account the well-being and feelings of your son in any decision-making process. His opinion and comfort level should be considered, especially if he has chosen not to maintain contact with his mother. Decisions made under emotional stress might not be the best ones. Give yourself time to reflect, assess the situation, and decide what is in the best interest of you and your son Ultimately, the decision of whether to allow your wife back into your lives is a personal one. Consider what is in the best interests of you and your son, taking into account your own well-being and the well-being of your family.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 29, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I am 42 years old, working in a PSU bank for 11 years. I have my Mother at home who is 73 years and retired state govt. Officer. My Father passed away in 2013 just after I joined my job. He was a state govt. Officer. I am married and have one son 8.5 years old studying in class 4. My wife is working in state govt. She often leaves my home with our son and goes to her father's place which is just near to my house because of minor issues like any hot talk with me. She has no problem with my Mother. We had a love marriage and we dated for 13 years and in 2015 got married. I am a family bound guy but when wife leaves me, I and mostly my Mother falls into trouble due to all household works are to be done by her as I have minimum time in the morning to help her. Our maid left one months back. I am searching one but not getting. Last year I and my wife stayed apart for 9 months in total, not at a time but in two parts. I sent her lawyers letter 3 months back after she left me in January this year. She came back 2 months back and left again after one month. I really miss my son and wife when they are not with me. My Mother also miss her grandson and becomes hopeless. I can't find any solution to this. Please suggest what will I do. I have lots of pressure at workplace and not satisfied with my job too as bank has lots of problems these days. I think of leaving job to support my Mother. I will leave job surely if something odd happens to my Mother. My Father took 3 words from me before death to Look after Mother, to look after house and to look after the house belongings. Already I am unable to keep all 3 words properly. I feel guilty of myself. Please guide me about my career and family life.
Ans: Dear DP
Navigating your current situation requires a strategic approach that balances your professional and personal responsibilities. Communication is key. Have an open and calm conversation with your wife to understand her perspective and express your concerns without assigning blame. Counseling can be beneficial here, offering a neutral space to discuss underlying issues and improve your relationship dynamics.

Supporting your mother is equally important. While searching for a permanent solution for household help, consider temporary alternatives such as part-time assistance or community support services. Engage your mother in local senior activities to provide her with social interaction and support.

Addressing your job dissatisfaction is also crucial. Explore other roles within your bank or in other PSUs that match your skills but offer a less stressful environment. Professional development can open new career opportunities. Taking regular breaks, practicing mindfulness, and ensuring a work-life balance can help manage your stress levels.

By focusing on these areas—open communication with your wife, practical support for your mother, and exploring less stressful job options—you can work towards a more stable and fulfilling family and professional life.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu I'm 35, recently widowed. My husband passed away in a road accident. I was in a state of shock when he left me. I took a break from everything and resumed office only six months ago. A young man from my office, whose engagement was cancelled last year, has started showing interest in me. I don't know if he is doing it out of sympathy that I am a widow. But I am beginning to enjoy his company. I am surprised and also worried if it is too soon. I never believed there would be another guy in my life after my husband. Do you think I am feeling lonely? He's 37, gentle and respectful. We haven't kissed or got intimate. No flirting either. We like each other's company and there is an instant spark how we light each others' lives. I don't know if I am open to love, if this relationship will work. I don't know yet but how do I check if I am emotionally vulnerable? My family and in-laws would disapprove if I moved on 'so soon.' Is it wrong to date someone so early? I am feeling guilty too.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss.
And NO, it is not wrong to date someone; early or not is something that is very subjective in nature. It is possible that family and in-law may disapprove of you moving on, but over time when they realize that you are searching for a true companion and if the person is someone that they can trust, there maybe no reason why they will object.

Now, here comes a reality check questions;
- Are you jumping into another relationship after you have healed from your grief and you feel that you are ready for a new journey
OR
- Are you impulsively giving into your feelings of loneliness and this gentleman seems to fit the label of someone who is caring and keeps you distracted from your grief?

If it's the first case, then I am sure you know that it feels right; then it's just a matter of your family understanding it when they can...
But if it's the second case, please exercise caution as it can backfire leaving you feeling more lonely and less fulfilled...

Evaluate it keeping your emotions aside and I am sure you will come to the right decision.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7115 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7115 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Career
I have 72% pcm and 79% in boards where can i get cse or it in delhi ncr on this basis?
Ans: With 72% in PCM and 79% overall board marks, you satisfy the minimum 55% PCM eligibility for IPU B.Tech CSE/IT admissions via JEE Main scores. The 20 Delhi NCR institutes you can apply to through IPU B.Tech counselling are:

Bhagwan Parshuram Institute of Technology,

Bharati Vidyapeeth’s College of Engineering,

BM Institute of Engineering & Technology, Sonepat,

Delhi Institute of Technology & Management, Sonepat,

Delhi Technical Campus, Greater Noida,

Dr. Akhilesh Das Gupta Institute of Technology & Management,

Greater Noida Institute of Technology,

Guru Teg Bahadur Institute of Technology, Rohini,

HMR Institute of Technology & Management,

JIMS Engineering Management Technical Campus, Greater Noida,

Maharaja Agrasen Institute of Technology, Rohini,

Maharaja Surajmal Institute of Technology, Janakpuri,

Mahavir Swami Institute of Technology, Sonepat,

Trinity Institute of Innovations in Professional Studies, Greater Noida,

University School of Chemical Technology (GGSIPU),

University School of Information & Communication Technology (GGSIPU),

University School of Automation & Robotics (GGSIPU),

Vivekananda Institute of Professional Studies, Pitampura,

Amity University Noida,

Galgotias University, Greater Noida.

The recommendation is to prioritise IPU-affiliated colleges such as Dr. Akhilesh Das Gupta Institute of Technology & Management and Greater Noida Institute of Technology for their established placement support, consider Maharaja Agrasen Institute of Technology and Trinity Institute of Innovations in Professional Studies for balanced academics and industry linkages, keep Amity University Noida and Galgotias University as strong private-university alternatives, and work on enhancing your JEE Main score to access higher-ranked CSE/IT branches in subsequent counselling rounds. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x