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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 31, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 29, 2023Hindi
Relationship

Hi Ma'am, I am 36 years old and got married in the year 2014. I wanted to be in a joint family but my wife does not like it from the starting days itself. My parents used to stay with me periodically but not continuously. We have 2 boy children now. During my 1st boy child naming ceremony, my wife's family created issues and threatened me and my mother with bad words and forced for a separate family which i never agreed. After that issue, my wife never returned to my matrimonial home. After lot of efforts from my relatives, we joined back again. But the personal vengeance of my wife on my parents still continued. She used to misbehave with them some times like not listening to my mother's words and she never used to help my mother on all the house hold activities. My mother used to take care of all the household works. In the mean time we are blessed with 2nd boy. She stayed in my house during her second pregnancy, her preganancy well assisted by my mother and me both financially and emotionally. But i used to tell my wife to do very small houshold activities to make her physically well fit for her normal delivery but she took that suggession in a wring way and considered it as a torcher. During her ninth month of her pregnancy she went to her parents house to write a competitive exam but never returned back instead she continued to stay there and returning back to my home. So it has been more than two years now that she left me. During this time, i visited for her birthday, her father died, me and my parents visited his funeral, i visited my sons birthday. So i almost did all my efforts to bring back her to my home but she refused all my chances. So I filed a divorce case since i dont have any hope in my marriage life anymore. But i wanted to live with her since we have two children. Any suggestions/advices please.

Ans: I understand the complex and challenging situation you're facing in your marriage. It's clear that there have been significant conflicts and misunderstandings between you and your wife, and you've made attempts to resolve them. Here are some thoughts and advice from a counseling perspective:

Open Communication: Effective and empathetic communication is crucial. Encourage both you and your wife to express your feelings and concerns in a safe and non-confrontational manner. A counselor can help facilitate these discussions and ensure that both parties have a chance to be heard.
Professional Counseling: Seeking the help of a qualified marriage counselor or therapist is highly recommended. A counselor can provide a neutral perspective, offer strategies for conflict resolution, and help you both explore the underlying issues in your relationship.
Child-Centered Approach: As you have children, it's vital to prioritize their well-being. Regardless of the outcome, work together on a co-parenting plan that focuses on their emotional and psychological needs. A counselor can assist in creating a plan that ensures your children's stability and happiness.
Understanding and Empathy: Try to understand each other's perspectives, feelings, and needs. There seems to be a lack of understanding between you and your wife, and it's important to build empathy and find common ground.
Legal Matters: Consult with a family lawyer to fully understand your rights, responsibilities, and potential outcomes regarding divorce, child custody, and financial matters. It's crucial to be well-informed about the legal implications of your decisions.
Reconciliation Efforts: If both you and your wife are open to the possibility of reconciliation, be prepared for a long and challenging process. It will require time, patience, and a willingness to address the root causes of your issues.
Understanding: Try to understand your wife's perspective and feelings, and encourage her to understand yours. Misunderstandings can often lead to conflicts, and gaining insight into each other's point of view can be a first step toward resolution.
Co-parenting: Regardless of the outcome of your marriage, your focus should be on the well-being of your children. It's essential to develop a co-parenting plan that prioritizes their needs and stability. Self-Care: Take care of your own well-being. Navigating these difficult circumstances can be emotionally and mentally taxing, so ensure you maintain your own emotional and mental health.
Reflect on Your Expectations: Take time to reflect on your expectations regarding family arrangements and what you're willing to compromise on. It may be necessary to find a middle ground between your desire for a joint family and your wife's preference for a separate one.

Remember that the decision to reconcile or proceed with the divorce should be made with the well-being of both you and your wife, as well as your children, in mind. Professional counseling and mediation can provide the support and tools you need to navigate this challenging situation. Whether the ultimate goal is reconciliation or an amicable separation, the involvement of a qualified therapist can be instrumental in moving forward in a healthy and constructive way.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 39 Year Old Male and My wife is 37 years old, we are married for 12 years. We have 2 kids (A Son Aged 9 Years) and a daughter aged (2 years). We had good and bad both times during 12 years of our marriage. However it was my anger on petty issues which lead to multiple quarrels over the period. Last month again we had fight and my wife left home without my or my family knowladge along with both our kids to my in-laws. During this 1 month of seperation i realized my mistakes and are ready to amend it, but my wife lacks trust now. We are not in touch since she has left as she has blocked my number and send me court notice of maintenance also (Ofcourse notice has lot of lies also). No i have understood my family's values and unable to bear such distance from both wife and kids. What my wife is thinking i dont know. Financially i have always kept her happy but due to my quarrels things have gone bad now. Please advice what should be way forward for me and what should i do to bring my family back. PLEASE GUIDE!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Ego trips have divided the two of you considerably.
Seek the help of an elder member of a family who will act like a go-between and a mediator. He/She must be neutral and unbiased as well.
This helps in having a smooth flow in a conversation between you and your wife where both of you can our in your woes and also be clear on whether either of you want the marriage to continue or not. Also, take into account the children and their welfare as they are very young and any decision taken will impact them in one or many ways.
If this mediation fails, kindly seek the help of a marriage therapist/counselor even this means sharing 'stuff' with a total stranger. Most often that stranger will be the person to facilitate a smooth reconciliation if the couple also wants the same.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am married for 23 years .Both me & my wife are doing job.I have one son staying with me. After 17 years of marriage I inquired that my wife has sexual relationship with another man . This has hurt me a lot as she betrayed me . As a result she gave no attention to me , my son and my parents . When I got this information , my wife left my house taking hand loan from neighbors . I never lodged any complain with police or file divorce case , rather I took it challenging. I took proper care of my son .Due to hard work & logistic support from me , my son qualified in NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.As my son has grown up & knows the actual fact ,he dislikes his mother & has no contact with her since long.Gradually we have started forgetting her. After 6 years of staying outside , now my wife is trying to come back again forcefully which we do not want. Therefore I request that please advice me what to do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you've been through. It's understandable that trust has been broken, and emotions must be complex. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and that of your son during this time. If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the reasons for her return. It's crucial to express your feelings and concerns. It might be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate the conversation. If she continues to pursue a return against your wishes, you may want to consult with a legal professional to understand your options and rights. Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. A lawyer can help you explore options and provide guidance on how to proceed. Take into account the well-being and feelings of your son in any decision-making process. His opinion and comfort level should be considered, especially if he has chosen not to maintain contact with his mother. Decisions made under emotional stress might not be the best ones. Give yourself time to reflect, assess the situation, and decide what is in the best interest of you and your son Ultimately, the decision of whether to allow your wife back into your lives is a personal one. Consider what is in the best interests of you and your son, taking into account your own well-being and the well-being of your family.

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Latest Questions
Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 15, 2025

Career
Hi,my son has got 96% in his icse class 10 exams this year.he is not inclined towards a career in sciences (b.tech/med).he has thus opted for commerce and maths.with an initial inclination towards finance and mathematics we have shortlisted ipm and law and enrolled him for a coaching for ipm.would he be able to prepare for clat as well along with ipm.and with 96 % how are his chances to clear both ?
Ans: Yes, your son can prepare for both CLAT and IPM exams simultaneously, especially given his ICSE score. With a 96% score, he has a strong chance of success in both exams. CLAT and IPM share some common ground, which could make preparation more manageable.
Preparation for both CLAT and IPM:
CLAT:
CLAT requires a strong foundation in English comprehension, logical reasoning, quantitative reasoning, and legal reasoning. IPM exams also test similar skills.
IPM:
IPM exams focus on quantitative ability, analytical reasoning, and verbal reasoning. CLAT also assesses these skills.
Overlap:
The core skills tested in both exams, such as quantitative reasoning, verbal reasoning, and logical reasoning, provide common ground for preparation. Your son's coaching for IPM can help him develop a solid foundation in these areas.
Legal Reasoning:
CLAT specifically requires legal reasoning, which is not part of IPM. Your son can focus on preparing for this section separately.
Scheduling:
Balancing preparation for both exams requires careful planning. He can allocate specific time slots for each exam's preparation.
Chances of Clearing Both:
IPM:
With a 96% ICSE score, your son has a strong chance of clearing IPM exams. His high marks indicate a strong aptitude for quantitative reasoning and problem-solving.
CLAT:
CLAT is a highly competitive exam, but with his current scores, your son has a very good chance of clearing CLAT.
Factors affecting success:
Preparation efforts, effective time management, and consistency in studying will play a crucial role in determining success in both exams.
Tips for Preparation:
Structured Approach:
A structured study plan that includes regular practice, mock tests, and detailed analysis of mistakes will be beneficial.
Mock Tests:
Regular mock tests for both CLAT and IPM will help him assess his progress and identify areas for improvement.
Time Management:
Developing effective time management skills is crucial for balancing preparation for both exams.
Focus on Fundamentals:
Ensure he has a strong foundation in the core subjects of both exams.
Practice:
He should solve a variety of questions and practice problems to build confidence and improve his speed and accuracy.
Best of luck. Professor

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Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 14, 2025
Career
Hello sir, I'm a DASA student applying to IIITH for the 2025-26 batch. My current curriculum is the NSW HSC from Australia, which includes Mathematics and Physics but not Chemistry. IIITH requires Maths, Physics, and Chemistry for DASA eligibility, and I need to figure out how to add Chemistry.I've been looking into taking Chemistry through NIOS (National Institute of Open Schooling), AP or IB board but I'm concerned because IIITH's brochure specifies that the subjects must be completed "outside India". I've emailed IIITH for clarification, but I'm still waiting for a response. Is this acceptable for DASA?
Ans: It is unlikely that IIIT Hyderabad would accept NIOS Chemistry for DASA eligibility because the DASA brochure states that the subjects must be completed outside India. Since NIOS is an Indian board, it does not meet this requirement. However, you could consider taking AP or IB Chemistry to meet the requirements, as these are often recognized as international qualifications. It's best to wait for IIITH's response to your email for official clarification.
Elaboration:
DASA Requirements:
DASA (Direct Admissions for Students Abroad) at IIIT Hyderabad requires applicants to have completed 11th and 12th grades or equivalent outside India, with a minimum of 60% marks in Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics.
NIOS and IIITH:
While NIOS is a recognized board in India, it's unlikely to be accepted for DASA at IIITH because the DASA brochure specifies that the subjects must be completed outside India.
AP or IB Chemistry:
You could consider taking AP or IB Chemistry through a foreign board to fulfill the requirement for Chemistry. These are often recognized as international qualifications.
Waiting for IIITH's Response:
Since you've already emailed IIITH, it's advisable to wait for their response to your query for official clarification on whether NIOS Chemistry would be accepted.

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Prof Suvasish

Prof Suvasish Mukhopadhyay  |648 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 15, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, My age is 33 year now. I was working in financial sector for 5year as a recovery agent. I have done intermediate in Arts and Diploma in mechanical engineering. Passed out in 2012. Now i want to change my job sector to technical line. I have no experience before in technical line. Please guide me which technical job will be best suitable for me And What Salary Range Should i expect?.
Ans: For you AMIE ( Mechanical) will be the best option. You will be equivalent to B.E./B.Tech Mechanical. The details are given below.
The AMIE (Associate Member of the Institution of Engineers) exam is a professional qualification in engineering, equivalent to a B.E./B.Tech. degree. It's conducted by the Institution of Engineers (India) (IEI) and is offered as a distance learning program. The exam is held twice a year, in June and December.
Exam Structure:
Stage I (Section A): Focuses on fundamental engineering subjects.
Stage II (Section B): Covers a specific branch of engineering like Civil, Electrical, or Mechanical.
Eligibility:
Educational Qualification:
Candidates must have completed a recognized course of study in engineering or technology.
Age:
No upper age limit, but candidates must be at least 18 years old on the first day of the examination.
Other:
Indian citizens or foreign nationals with at least two years of residence in India.
Exam Pattern:
The exam is based on multiple-choice questions (MCQs).
It can be taken online (CBT) or offline (PBT).
Benefits:
Becoming a graduate engineer with the same qualification as a B.E./B.Tech. degree.
Recognized by government and private sectors.
Least expensive compared to traditional degree programs.
Application Process:
Download the application form from the IEI website.
Fill out the form and attach the required documents.
Pay the application fee.
Submit the application form along with the fee.

But since you did the recovery work in Finance sector you are totally detached from Mechanical Engineering. So it is not possible to say what kind of job you will get and what will be your salary.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |393 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 14, 2025

Career
I'm preparing for Neet and wanted to take a drop but my parents wanted me to do something with it like a partial Drop......And right now I'm totally confused what to do and what not.........i think I should take BSC zoology in private colleges , can anyone suggest me something..........
Ans: Hi Prirhvi,

Based on your query, there are two main issues to consider:

1. You want to take a break (which may be partial or full).
2. You want to pursue a BSc in Zoology.

Before making any decisions, take some time to think and analyze your situation.

Firstly, evaluate your marks in the HSC and your recent NEET exam scores (if you have appeared for NEET 2025). If you have completed both exams, focus on turning your weaker subjects into strengths. Be prepared to answer any questions someone may pose. Without this preparation, taking a break may not be effective.

Secondly, if you decide to take a gap year, you should not also consider studying another course concurrently, as this could divert your attention and hinder your main goal. Remember, undergraduate courses are semester-based, meaning you will need to manage both NEET preparation and your regular UG courses (including internal exams, semester exams, etc.). Juggling both can be quite challenging.

If you believe it is possible to manage both, I suggest that instead of choosing Zoology for your UG, you consider subjects like Chemistry or Physics. These subjects are foundational and can be better understood through regular UG coursework. Therefore, you should not worry too much about that particular subject. However, it’s not advisable to select Zoology and take a break for NEET preparation at the same time. If you have doubts in Physics or Chemistry, you can seek clarification from your lecturers.

In summary, my suggestion is to concentrate on one goal and work towards achieving it.

BEST WISHES.
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO.

...Read more

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