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Love vs. Family: How to Deal with Mom Opposing Inter-caste Marriage?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Vasuki Question by Vasuki on Nov 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Ma'am, I am in a relationship with my colleague, and I told my mother about it. She wanted to meet him, and our parents met each other. Initially, they all agreed to our marriage. However, suddenly my mother changed her mind and said she doesn't agree with our marriage because he is not from our caste. She also said she is afraid to give her daughter to him and mentioned that our other relatives will not accept this marriage. Now, she wants me to marry her brother's son, but I really love my partner and cannot imagine living without him. We are deeply in love, and I cannot marry someone else. My mother fights with me about this every day. What should I do now?

Ans: Dear Vasuki,
Did something happen just before you mother reacted this way? I guess there's something missing...Otherwise what could be the reason to agree and then refuse? Did your mother's brother put pressure on your mother to come to this decision?
Reasoning out isn't going to work out that well; so first try and figure out what went on for your mother to change her mind and that could be a start point towards working with her so that she sees your point of view as well.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1437 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Help Needed: Unable to Login to JEE Mains Portal Due to Mistaken DOB Entry Hello Everyone, I’m reaching out to seek advice and support from anyone familiar with handling issues on the JEE Mains portal. Despite entering my correct application details, I’ve been unable to log in to download my admit card, and I believe it’s due to a mistake I made during the application process. The Problem During registration, I mistakenly entered the wrong date of birth. My correct date of birth is 12/08/2008, but I accidentally entered 22/08/2008. Now, neither date works when trying to log in, and I keep getting the error message: "Invalid Application No or Date of Birth." My Details: Name: Shivam Srivastav Application Number: ...................... Registered Contact Number: ...................... Registered Email ID: ................. Request for Help If anyone has faced a similar issue or knows how to resolve this problem, please share your suggestions. I’ve already emailed the authorities but am waiting for a response. I’m also prepared to provide necessary documents, such as my Class 10th marksheet, to verify my correct date of birth. Any help or guidance would be highly appreciated! Thank you for your time and support. Warm Regards,
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