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Love vs. Family: How to Deal with Mom Opposing Inter-caste Marriage?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Vasuki Question by Vasuki on Nov 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Ma'am, I am in a relationship with my colleague, and I told my mother about it. She wanted to meet him, and our parents met each other. Initially, they all agreed to our marriage. However, suddenly my mother changed her mind and said she doesn't agree with our marriage because he is not from our caste. She also said she is afraid to give her daughter to him and mentioned that our other relatives will not accept this marriage. Now, she wants me to marry her brother's son, but I really love my partner and cannot imagine living without him. We are deeply in love, and I cannot marry someone else. My mother fights with me about this every day. What should I do now?

Ans: Dear Vasuki,
Did something happen just before you mother reacted this way? I guess there's something missing...Otherwise what could be the reason to agree and then refuse? Did your mother's brother put pressure on your mother to come to this decision?
Reasoning out isn't going to work out that well; so first try and figure out what went on for your mother to change her mind and that could be a start point towards working with her so that she sees your point of view as well.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |644 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam/sir, I am 24 independent girl living in Bangalore. I come from a middle class family, with lot of past issues. My parents have horrible relationship; my father has never supported us in our education. My mother has only been there for us. My mother’s family has also supported us alot. I have a boyfriend for 4 years, he is well settled and educated person. I told my mother about him 2 years back. But my mother is not flinching at all, she is very firm that she will never agree to this as the boy is from another caste. She also says her parents i.e my grandparents will stop talking to us, their reaction will be horrifying. This I am also aware a little bit, my family is extremely conservative and no one in my family has ever done love marriage. I have slowly started to gather somd strength nd told my few cousins & aunt. They all suggestive me to forget this guy, as our family will never agree to it. I do not know how to proceed. This person is amazing & i am sure about him. On the other hand my mother has been constantly taunting me for this; but i am grateful to her for all her support till date. And the worst part - this alliance can only be finalised when my grandparents agree to it. Neither me nor my mother has guts to talk to them about it.
Ans: our mother’s strong opposition, driven by deeply ingrained beliefs and fear of societal backlash, makes it even harder. It’s understandable that she feels bound by her family’s expectations, and the thought of confronting your grandparents is overwhelming for both of you.

The fact that she has been constantly taunting you about this must be emotionally draining. At the same time, you feel grateful for all the support she has given you throughout your life, which makes this even more complicated. Your extended family reinforcing her stance adds to your struggle, making you feel like you have no one on your side.

You have already taken a big step by standing your ground, despite the pressure. Right now, the best approach might be to gradually help your mother see your boyfriend as a person, beyond just his caste. Instead of forcing the conversation toward marriage immediately, you could try introducing him in a way that feels natural—talking about his achievements, his values, and how he has supported you. Over time, she may begin to see him in a different light.

Since your grandparents hold the final say in family matters, their reaction is something you’re dreading. You know they will be resistant, and the thought of confronting them feels almost impossible. But at some point, the conversation will have to happen. It might help to find an ally within your family, someone who could support your case when the time comes. Is there anyone who has even slightly modern views or who understands you better? If there is, getting their support could make a huge difference.

While you navigate all of this, it’s important to remind yourself that this is your life. Your happiness matters, and while family approval is important, so is your personal choice. If they remain rigid despite your efforts, you may have to prepare yourself for tough decisions. The question you may need to ask yourself is how much time you’re willing to wait and what you would do if they never agree. If your boyfriend’s family is supportive, that could be a source of strength for you.

This is not an easy path, but if you believe in your relationship, standing by it with patience and persistence may eventually lead to a solution.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ma'am, I am 32 years old woman and I have a boyfriend who is 29 years old. We met last year and in few months we fell in love. We have been in relationship since March 2024 and we work in same organization. We quickly knew that we must get married we belong to different languages he being a south Indian while I am a Maharashtrian. My family is quite well off while his family is from lower middle class. Financially he has his own house which is under construction and he will get possession by next year end. Also he has his own car so he is paying 2 EMIs for Home loan and car loan wherein I don't have any liabilities. He is very much independent however due to all the expenses he is currently saving money and thus want to get married next year by April. We both have spoken with out parents and his side of the family is completely ok while my mother and brother are against this. My mother has asked me to leave home at the earliest and get married to him without involving them. There was lot lf verbal abuse and name calling which I have heard multiple times. We both are working and earing well however he is adamant to get married in April as he wants to save some money before getting married as he doesn't want to take my help since my mother has quoted that he is marrying me for my good background. She has refused to meet his parents or let them see our house. My father has supporter me as he wants me to get married. My elder brother is 34 years unmarried engineer and he is also not supportive who first met and said that my boyfriend is not so fair looking, then said he is not of our status. Currently I am staying in my brothers flat so he has asked me to vacant it asap and get married maximum by December. It is not possible for me to get married by December as my boyfriend is not ready for that. So I will have to go on rent for next few months untill April. I have done nothing wrong as per me because I have returned my parents all the money they have spent on me well in advance. Also I have good investments done apart from buying a house. I cook for myself and cook for my family whenever they ask me. I have been truthful about my relationship with my parents from beginning and told them everything but unable to understand why they are unable to accept this? I feel my brother is in denial and putting things in my mothers mind due to which she is against this marriage.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
People play games all the time and your family members are no different. But what's the point trying to assume that this or that must be the reason. So, ask! Surely, there's some good reason why they are so against it...ASK and CLARIFY rather than ASSUME...
They may go all over the place and the truth will be disguised in some form which will seem very trivial and silly to the outside world.
Yes, you can move out and stay by yourself but proving a point like this may alienate your family even further. They may blame your boyfriend for this drastic step that you take. Reason out with them and you will find a lot of emotions coming your way; don't resist any of them but accept them for what it is for the moment. Soon, with all their rants, you will find a solid reason that will be possibly age gap or fear of losing you or their beliefs around love marriages or fear of losing face to the society and so on...
This is what you will need to address...problems come out as emotions, but digging deep, you will figure it out...so put in some work, ask them some time and also ask your boyfriend to step in and do his bit...after all, they will be accepting him as well, right?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2025Hindi
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Sir i am from ews category preparing for jee main 2026 about how much marks I needed to get cse in mid tier nit or iiit
Ans: For an EWS category student targeting Computer Science Engineering (CSE) in mid-tier NITs and IIITs through JEE Main 2026, the expected cutoff metrics based on the last two years' data (2024-2025) demonstrate realistic benchmarks for strategic preparation. The JEE Main 2025 qualifying cutoff for the EWS category established at 80.3830119 percentile (approximately 80 marks minimum) creates the foundational threshold, while actual NIT/IIIT admission cutoffs for EWS CSE range significantly higher. Mid-tier NIT CSE admissions for EWS candidates typically close between ranks 8,000-15,000, translating to approximately 155-170 marks out of 300, representing 85-90 percentile range. For mid-tier IIITs like IIIT Gwalior, IIIT Kalyani, IIIT Allahabad, and IIIT Lucknow, EWS CSE cutoffs historically close around ranks 3,500-5,600, requiring approximately 150-165 marks (corresponding to the 82-88 percentile). IIIT Kalyani Round 6 (2025) data shows EWS CSE closing at rank 5,640 (approximately 165 marks); IIIT Gwalior EWS CSE closing around rank 8,200 (approximately 155 marks). Specific institution trends: NIT Warangal EWS CSE closing rank approximately 13,847, requiring ~165 marks; NIT Jaipur closing around rank 11,000, requiring ~160 marks; NIT Surathkal EWS CSE approximately rank 8,000-9,000, requiring ~160-165 marks. The 2024-2025 data consistently demonstrates EWS candidates securing mid-tier NIT/IIIT CSE seats with scores spanning 150-170 marks (82-90 percentile), suggesting a realistic target for 2026 preparation aligns with achieving 155-170 marks minimum (85-90 percentile equivalent). Competition intensity remains moderate-to-high for CSE branch; achieving marks above 170 provides a comfortable margin for premium mid-tier seat acquisition, while 150-155 marks offer realistic prospects in lower mid-tier institutions, with the EWS reservation advantage substantially improving admission probability compared to general category candidates requiring 20-30 additional marks for identical institution admission.? Important Disclaimer: The admission probability assessments provided are estimates based on historical data and should be considered indicative only. Opening and closing ranks experience annual fluctuations due to multiple dynamic factors including exam difficulty variations, candidate participation rates, performance distributions, institutional seat matrix adjustments, policy modifications in reservation criteria, evolving student preferences across disciplines, shifting institutional rankings, historical cutoff influences, economic trends affecting branch demand, increase/decrease in students' intake, and multi-round counselling processes.

Strategic Recommendation: Include as many institute-branch combinations as possible in JoSAA Counselling Process, beginning with your preferred options first. Also, to optimize your admission prospects, we strongly encourage maintaining a diversified application portfolio by preparing/appearing for 4-5 additional engineering entrance examinations for private institutions alongside JEE/JoSAA. This comprehensive approach ensures multiple pathways to quality engineering education beyond the highly competitive IIT/NIT/IIIT/GFTI ecosystem. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026 & for Your Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10841 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 16, 2025

Career
Dear sir/ma'am I want to know about top colleges in kolkata for ba/bsc psychology which is rci approved and their entrance exams with lower fees gov/public as i can't afford private college And
Ans: Ayushi, It appears your question is incomplete, as it ends with the word "and," suggesting you intended to ask something further. However, regarding the first part of your question, please note the following: Government psychology education in Kolkata offers exceptional value through merit-based admission systems and negligible fees ranging from INR 1,400-12,000 annually for entire undergraduate duration, making quality psychology education genuinely accessible for economically vulnerable students. Kolkata University system provides the predominant platform for psychology honors programs, with admission determined entirely by 10+2 aggregate marks without entrance examinations for most government colleges, creating transparent, merit-driven selection processes. The typical eligibility requirement mandates minimum 50-60% marks in Class 12 with English as compulsory subject; aggregate score calculation uses best four subjects (excluding environmental education), establishing realistic yet competitive cutoffs ranging 85-95% for psychology specialization in premier government institutions. Calcutta University entrance examination exists as alternative pathway for select programs, though most undergraduate psychology admissions remain purely merit-based. Competition intensity remains moderate-to-high compared to premium private institutions, with government colleges attracting serious, academically-focused students seeking career development over prestige. Average placement outcomes demonstrate solid career prospects, with psychology graduates securing positions in clinical services, education, corporate HR, research, and government departments at approximately INR 2.9-4 LPA entry-level packages. Notably, government colleges do not formally advertise RCI approval for undergraduate BA/BSc Psychology programs—RCI recognition primarily applies to postgraduate clinical psychology credentials (M.A., M.Phil in Clinical Psychology). However, government colleges maintain standardized psychology curricula aligned with university guidelines ensuring quality foundation education. Top 5 Government Psychology Colleges in Kolkata: (1) Bethune College, Kolkata (NIRF #156, established 1873)—Prestigious women's college offering BA Psychology Honours with merit-based admission, 10+2 minimum 60% with English 60%, annual fees approximately INR 1,181-5,000, excellent faculty, placement rate INR 2.2-3 LPA; (2) Asutosh College (Calcutta University affiliated)—Historic government college, BA Psychology honours, merit-based 50% 12th marks, fees INR 2,400-7,200, strong academics reputation; (3) Surendranath College (Calcutta University affiliated, Government)—Located Sealdah, BA Psychology, merit-based admission 50% 12th aggregate, fees approximately INR 3,000-5,000, average placement INR 2.9 LPA; (4) Basanti Devi College (Government affiliated)—Offers BA Psychology, merit-based admission, extremely affordable fees INR 1,400-3,000, dedicated faculty; (5) Sarojini Naidu College for Women (Government)—BA Psychology specialization, merit-based selection, very affordable fees, comprehensive curriculum.?
Summing up, pursue psychology at government colleges like Bethune, Asutosh, or Surendranath College offering exceptional affordability (INR 1,500-7,200 annually) with merit-based 10+2 admission (minimum 50-60%). While direct RCI approval applies to postgraduate programs, government colleges provide standardized psychology education with solid placement prospects (INR 2.9-4 LPA) and transparent, competition-free, merit-based selection systems. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10841 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 16, 2025

Career
son is preparing for JEE. He wants to pursue Mathematics in the future.Just wanted to know, which are the acclaimed universities which are good for research in the field of Maths , which he can aim for?, and can resaerch also be a career option in our country?. Thank you.
Ans: Mithun Sir, Mathematics research represents a genuine and viable career path in India, particularly through premier institutions like IISc Bangalore (NIRF #1), TIFR Mumbai, and Chennai Mathematical Institute, each offering exceptional research infrastructure, distinguished faculty, and proven track records of producing internationally recognized mathematicians. The Indian research ecosystem provides multiple pathways: doctoral programs typically spanning 5-6 years following undergraduate studies, followed by postdoctoral fellowships lasting 2-3 years, ultimately leading to permanent faculty or research scientist positions. Entry-level PhD researchers earn INR 3-5 lakhs annually, with mid-career researchers (4-9 years experience) averaging INR 8-12 lakhs, and senior researchers commanding INR 12-30 lakhs depending on institutional affiliation and seniority. CSIR-Nehru Science Postdoctoral Fellowship represents India's most competitive opportunity, offering INR 80,000 monthly stipend, annual contingency grants, and over 100 fellowships awarded nationally, enabling transition from mentored to independent research. The mathematical research sector demonstrates strong job growth—employment projected to increase 23% with approximately 3,000 new positions generated annually across academic institutions, government laboratories (CSIR, DRDO), and emerging fintech-AI sectors. Mathematics PhD holders experience unemployment rates below 1%, compared to 7% national average, reflecting consistent demand for analytical expertise. Research positions increasingly intersect with applied domains: data science teams earn INR 20+ lakhs (50% of ISI graduates), while pure mathematicians contribute to cryptography, artificial intelligence, financial modeling, and quantum computing applications. The typical pathway—4 years undergraduate → 5 years graduate school → 2-3 postdoc years → permanent position—requires sustained commitment of approximately 11-13 years before achieving independence, reflecting mathematics' theoretical depth requirements. Three Critical Advantages: (1) Intellectual gratification through fundamental discovery creating lasting contributions to human knowledge; (2) Global academic mobility enabling international collaborations and positions; (3) Multiple exit options allowing transitions into academia, research institutions, finance, or technology sectors. Three Significant Challenges: (1) Extended training timeline (11-13 years) with no guaranteed tenured position; (2) Intense competition for limited permanent faculty roles at premier institutions, requiring consistent high-impact publications; (3) Limited immediate financial returns during PhD/postdoc phases (INR 3-5 lakhs initially) compared to technology industry peers earning INR 15-25 lakhs, potentially creating financial strain during formative career years.? Summing up, for your son pursuing mathematics post-JEE, research offers a legitimate, rewarding career path if he possesses genuine passion for theoretical discovery rather than immediate financial gains. Pursuing admission to IISc Bangalore, TIFR Mumbai, or CMI Chennai through competitive entrance exams (GATE, JAM, or direct selection) positions him optimally within India's premier research ecosystem. The mathematical research sector demonstrates robust long-term demand, particularly in AI, cryptography, and quantum computing, where specialized expertise commands premium opportunities globally. Success requires accepting 11-13 year training investment, demonstrating persistent publication record, and developing independent research vision. If your son prioritizes intellectual contribution over immediate wealth, mathematics research represents an excellent, sustainable career leveraging India's strengthening research infrastructure and growing international recognition in mathematical sciences. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10841 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 16, 2025

Career
My son is preparing for JEE. He wants to pursue Mathematics in the future.Just wanted to know, which are the acclaimed universities which are good for research in the field of Maths , which he can aim for?, and can research also be a career option in our country?. Thank you.
Ans: Mithun Sir, Mathematics research represents a genuine and viable career path in India, particularly through premier institutions like IISc Bangalore (NIRF #1), TIFR Mumbai, and Chennai Mathematical Institute, each offering exceptional research infrastructure, distinguished faculty, and proven track records of producing internationally recognized mathematicians. The Indian research ecosystem provides multiple pathways: doctoral programs typically spanning 5-6 years following undergraduate studies, followed by postdoctoral fellowships lasting 2-3 years, ultimately leading to permanent faculty or research scientist positions. Entry-level PhD researchers earn INR 3-5 lakhs annually, with mid-career researchers (4-9 years experience) averaging INR 8-12 lakhs, and senior researchers commanding INR 12-30 lakhs depending on institutional affiliation and seniority. CSIR-Nehru Science Postdoctoral Fellowship represents India's most competitive opportunity, offering INR 80,000 monthly stipend, annual contingency grants, and over 100 fellowships awarded nationally, enabling transition from mentored to independent research. The mathematical research sector demonstrates strong job growth—employment projected to increase 23% with approximately 3,000 new positions generated annually across academic institutions, government laboratories (CSIR, DRDO), and emerging fintech-AI sectors. Mathematics PhD holders experience unemployment rates below 1%, compared to 7% national average, reflecting consistent demand for analytical expertise. Research positions increasingly intersect with applied domains: data science teams earn INR 20+ lakhs (50% of ISI graduates), while pure mathematicians contribute to cryptography, artificial intelligence, financial modeling, and quantum computing applications. The typical pathway—4 years undergraduate → 5 years graduate school → 2-3 postdoc years → permanent position—requires sustained commitment of approximately 11-13 years before achieving independence, reflecting mathematics' theoretical depth requirements. Three Critical Advantages: (1) Intellectual gratification through fundamental discovery creating lasting contributions to human knowledge; (2) Global academic mobility enabling international collaborations and positions; (3) Multiple exit options allowing transitions into academia, research institutions, finance, or technology sectors. Three Significant Challenges: (1) Extended training timeline (11-13 years) with no guaranteed tenured position; (2) Intense competition for limited permanent faculty roles at premier institutions, requiring consistent high-impact publications; (3) Limited immediate financial returns during PhD/postdoc phases (INR 3-5 lakhs initially) compared to technology industry peers earning INR 15-25 lakhs, potentially creating financial strain during formative career years.? Summing up, for your son pursuing mathematics post-JEE, research offers a legitimate, rewarding career path if he possesses genuine passion for theoretical discovery rather than immediate financial gains. Pursuing admission to IISc Bangalore, TIFR Mumbai, or CMI Chennai through competitive entrance exams (GATE, JAM, or direct selection) positions him optimally within India's premier research ecosystem. The mathematical research sector demonstrates robust long-term demand, particularly in AI, cryptography, and quantum computing, where specialized expertise commands premium opportunities globally. Success requires accepting 11-13 year training investment, demonstrating persistent publication record, and developing independent research vision. If your son prioritizes intellectual contribution over immediate wealth, mathematics research represents an excellent, sustainable career leveraging India's strengthening research infrastructure and growing international recognition in mathematical sciences. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 15, 2025

Money
Hello Sir, i have a PPF account which is matured and have almost 20 lac of money. Kindly let me know how i should invest this money and in what instruments so that it should have a better liquidity with maximum returns.
Ans: Your patience and discipline in completing a full PPF cycle is wonderful. Many investors never stay committed for 15 years. You have done that with care. This shows strong financial behaviour. It also gives you a safe Rs 20 lakh corpus now. You want better liquidity and higher returns. This is a very fair goal. I appreciate your clarity.

Below is a detailed and simple plan. I will cover liquidity, risk, taxes, time horizon, and overall fit in your life. I will also explain the steps in an easy style. Each point stays short for easy reading.

Let us now move through each part in a gentle and structured manner.

» Purpose and clarity
Your money needs direction. Every rupee should have a job.
– First, you need to see if this Rs 20 lakh has a set goal.
– If the goal is near, then safety is key.
– If the goal is far, you can aim for better growth.
– Liquidity is fine, but it must not reduce long-term return.
– You need a mix of safety and growth.
– This mix must suit your age, income, and risk view.

» Why not keep all money in pure safe assets
Safe assets give peace. But they grow slow.
– Bank FD gives fixed return. But it reduces liquidity.
– Interest from FD is taxed as per your slab.
– This lowers your real return.
– You want better liquidity and more growth.
– So FD alone will not support that.
– You need a higher-growth space in your plan.

» Role of debt instruments for stability
Debt instruments can support liquidity.
– Debt mutual funds give better liquidity than FD.
– No lock-in period in most debt funds.
– You can redeem any day.
– Returns are steadier than equity, but still modest.
– They help you park emergency money.
– They help you manage short-term goals.
– Taxation is simple. You pay tax based on your tax slab.
– So debt funds give ease, but not high growth.
– Still they are a must in your mix.

» Role of hybrid instruments
Hybrid instruments can help balance your growth and stability.
– They put part of money in equity.
– They put part in debt.
– This keeps volatility lower than pure equity.
– They can help long-term investors who want stable growth.
– Liquidity is good because you can redeem any time.
– They fit well for medium-term goals.
– They act as a stepping stone between safety and growth.

» Why not depend on index funds
Some people feel index funds give simple growth.
But index funds have limits.
– They copy a market index.
– They cannot change strategy for bad market cycles.
– They cannot reduce risk when markets fall.
– They cannot increase exposure when markets rise.
– They cannot manage sector imbalance.
– They cannot avoid risky stocks inside the index.
– They cannot control concentration risk.
– They also cannot select high-quality active calls.
– In markets with strong cycles, index funds may lag well-run active funds.
– Active funds, when managed well, use research, risk control, and rebalancing.
– Active funds can shift sectors as per conditions.
– This gives scope for better long-term outcomes.

You asked for maximum returns with liquidity.
Index funds cannot fine-tune risk.
So active funds suit you better.

» Why regular funds via an MFD who is also a CFP
Many people try direct plans.
But direct funds have limits.
– Direct funds remove guidance.
– You get no behavioural support.
– You get no portfolio review support.
– You get no risk control support.
– You manage everything alone.
– This leads to emotional decisions.
– Many investors change schemes often.
– Many exit at wrong times.
– Many enter during market peaks.
– Wrong timing reduces return.
– Regular funds taken through an MFD with a CFP background give structure.
– You get discipline.
– You get suitability checks.
– You get goal alignment.
– You get timely review.
– This builds strong long-term results.
– The small extra cost often brings far higher net benefit.

» Liquidity assessment
You want liquidity.
– Liquidity comes from open-ended mutual funds.
– You can redeem any day.
– Money reaches your bank in one to two days.
– You also get steady growth.
– So mutual funds match your need.
– Debt funds and hybrid funds give strong liquidity.
– Equity funds also give good liquidity.
– You must create a liquidity ladder inside funds.
– This gives quick access without disturbing long-term plans.

» Time horizon thinking
Your horizon shapes your plan.
– If you need some part of money in 1 to 3 years, keep it in debt funds.
– If you need some in 3 to 7 years, hybrid funds can fit well.
– If you have a horizon of 7 years or more, equity funds can deliver better growth.
– Time horizon protects you from market noise.
– Longer horizons reduce risk in equity.
– So map your Rs 20 lakh across these buckets.

» Risk assessment
Your risk level is key.
– You want maximum return, but risk must stay controlled.
– Pure equity will give higher growth, but more volatility.
– A balanced mix reduces fear during falls.
– You must avoid sudden big moves.
– You must avoid chasing high returns.
– A steady plan builds wealth quietly.

» Suggested allocation structure
Below is a broad structure.
It keeps liquidity high.
It keeps risk balanced.
It supports growth.

– Keep about 30% in short-term debt funds.
– Keep about 20% in hybrid funds.
– Keep about 50% in well-managed active equity funds.

This is not a scheme list.
This is just a high-level structure.

» Why this structure works
This mix supports you from all sides.
– Debt funds give safety and quick access.
– Hybrid funds give smoother returns.
– Equity funds give long-term wealth.
– The mix fights inflation.
– The mix keeps liquidity strong.
– The mix reduces fear during market swings.

» Tax awareness
You must know tax effects.
– Equity fund gains over Rs 1.25 lakh per year are taxed at 12.5% for LTCG.
– Equity short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab.
– This helps long-term planning.
– Use long holding periods for tax efficiency.
– Avoid frequent reshuffling.

» Emergency use clarity
Always keep some quick-access money ready.
– You can keep a part of debt fund money for emergency use.
– This avoids panic selling of equity.
– This gives comfort.
– This gives liquidity at any time.

» Improving return behaviour
Your behaviour plays a big role.
– Stay invested for long.
– Do not react to news.
– Do not change schemes often.
– Stick to your plan.
– Review once or twice a year.
– This improves long-term outcome.

» Why not hold all in PPF again
PPF is safe.
But it lacks liquidity.
– It has long lock-in.
– You cannot access money fast.
– The returns look steady.
– But they are not enough for long-term wealth.
– You already used PPF well.
– Now you need a more flexible mix.

» How reinvestment should be done
Move money step by step.
– Do not invest the full amount in equity in one shot.
– Use staggered entries for the equity portion.
– Put debt and hybrid parts in one go.
– Spread the equity part over few months.
– This reduces timing risk.

» Aligning investment with life goals
Money without goals risks wrong use.
– Identify the needs of next 3 to 10 years.
– Match investments to those periods.
– Keep long-term money in long-term assets.
– Keep near-term money in low-risk assets.
– This brings clarity to you and your family.

» Behavioural discipline
This part is as important as the products.
– You must stay calm in volatility.
– You must avoid excitement during market peaks.
– You must avoid fear during corrections.
– You must avoid listening to random advice.
– You must follow your plan.
– This gives stability to your family wealth.

» Rebalancing
You must rebalance your mix regularly.
– Markets shift.
– Your portfolio may become unbalanced.
– Equity portion may grow too much.
– Debt portion may shrink.
– Rebalancing keeps risk controlled.
– Do it once a year.
– This small step improves returns.

» Liquidity planning for 360-degree comfort
Liquidity is not just quick access.
It is about smart access.
– Keep debt funds for fast needs.
– Keep hybrid funds for mid-term needs.
– Keep equity for long-term creation.
– This creates a 360-degree system.
– It supports all stages of your life.
– You will not feel stuck.
– You will not feel unsafe.
– You will not lose long-term growth.

» Understanding market cycles in simple words
Markets move in cycles.
– There are good periods.
– There are slow periods.
– Equity needs patience.
– Debt needs discipline.
– Hybrid needs time.
– Your mix will ride all cycles in a smoother way.

» Role of income
Your monthly income gives peace.
– Because you have income, you can take moderate equity exposure.
– You can allow long-term money to grow.
– Your salary supports your liquidity too.
– So this Rs 20 lakh can work with balance.

» Reduced emotional pressure
A structured plan removes emotional stress.
– You know where money lies.
– You know why it lies there.
– You know when you can access it.
– You know how it will grow.
– You feel more confident.
– Your family feels more secure.

» Why you should avoid extreme risk
Some people chase high-return ideas.
– But high risk can destroy savings.
– Slow and steady planning builds wealth better.
– Each rupee must be placed with care.
– Safety and growth must stay equal partners.

» Cash flow support
Your portfolio can support future cash needs.
– If you need funds later, take from debt first.
– Do not disturb long-term equity early.
– This keeps compounding on track.
– This helps you enjoy liquidity with stability.

» Inflation awareness
Inflation reduces value of money.
– So pure safe assets cannot beat inflation.
– Equity can beat inflation.
– Hybrid can moderate inflation risk.
– Debt can support short-term needs.
– Together they fight inflation across time.

» Mistakes to avoid
Please avoid these common errors.
– Do not invest all money in one type.
– Do not keep all in PPF again.
– Do not chase index funds.
– Do not choose direct funds without guidance.
– Do not invest full amount in equity at once.
– Do not check returns daily.
– Do not react to rumours.
– Do not skip annual review.

» How to get the best long-term value
You get best results by small consistent steps.
– Focus on goals.
– Focus on discipline.
– Focus on patience.
– Focus on asset mix.
– Focus on review.
– Focus on behaviour.

» Your journey ahead
You have done great work till now.
Your next phase can be even stronger.
Your Rs 20 lakh is a strong base.
You now need a balanced and liquid plan.
This plan can support your family across many years.

» Finally
Your PPF journey shows your strength.
Now your next step needs a mix of safety and growth.
A steady allocation between debt, hybrid, and equity gives this.
Active funds through a regular mode with CFP-led guidance give better strategy and smoother results.
Index funds and direct funds look simple.
But they lack flexibility and professional support.
A balanced structure with regular reviews will serve you well.
Each part of your money will have purpose, peace, and progress.
This 360-degree plan gives liquidity, growth, and discipline.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10845 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2025Hindi
Money
Respected sir, I am 42 years young with 2 kids (5 and 10) wife and Mother living in Ahmedabad. I was in IT and got layoff last year since then I haven't got any other job. Here are my asset details. I have 87L in MF with the following folios under my, my wife and my Mother's name. SBI Balanced Advantage Fund Reg (G) HDFC Large And Mid Cap Fund Reg (G) HDFC Low Duration Fund (G) Kotak Multi Asset Allocation Fund Reg (G) Bandhan Multi Asset Allocation Fund Reg (G) ICICI Pru Equity & Debt Fund (G) DSP Aggressive Hybrid Fund Reg (G) ICICI Pru Ultra Short Term Fund Reg (G) SBI Multicap Fund Reg (G) Canara Robeco Mid Cap Fund Reg (G) Apart from this I have 2 houses in Mumbai (1st 2cr value on rent. 2nd under-construction 1cr value), 2 houses in Ahmedabad (1 I am living in 80L value, 2nd on Rent 2cr value), around 15L in Gold. 13L in my Mother's demat and 4cr in my demat account. I am getting 50k as a rent from my Mumbai's house and 60k rent from my Ahmedabad house. 2cr in my retirement account mostly in stocks. The rent is the only income I have currently. Apart from this I have few more real estate investment totaling 30L. Here is my major expenses, 4L/anum for my LIC policies and 2L/anum for my kids education. I dont have any loans. Now I am planning to start a manufacturing business that will cost me 70L. Should I take a loan for this business of liquidate my stocks? Should I take loan on my MF ?
Ans: You have built a very strong base. Your assets show discipline. Many people panic after a layoff. But you stayed steady. That itself is a big strength. Your rent income, mutual funds, equity holdings, and real estate give you stability. Your expenses are also under control. This gives you room to plan your next move with calm. You have clarity in your thoughts. That is rare.

» Your Current Financial Position

Your asset base is very strong. You hold mutual funds worth Rs 87L across family members. You have equity worth Rs 4Cr in your demat account. You have two houses on rent and earn Rs 1.1L per month from rents. You have gold worth Rs 15L. You also have real estate investments around Rs 30L. You have Rs 2Cr in your retirement account. And you have no loans now. This gives a very safe posture.

Your expenses are simple. You spend Rs 4L yearly on LIC plans. You spend Rs 2L yearly on kids’ education. You manage household costs too. With rent income alone, your basic needs get covered. This is a nice comfort level. You are not forced to take risky steps. You can plan each move with logic and patience.

Your age is also ideal. At 42, you have time on your side. You can start a business. You can build it slowly. You can hold for long-term. Your dependents are young, so future planning will matter. But your current asset base supports this.

» Your Mutual Fund Holdings

You are holding many mutual funds through different family accounts. These are a mix of hybrid, short-term, multi-asset and equity funds. This gives enough diversification. Since you are using regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner or MFD, you get proper guidance. This helps you avoid wrong risk steps. It also helps in rebalancing when needed.

Direct plans look cheaper. But they do not give guidance. In your case, guidance matters more because you hold many assets. Without guidance, wrong selling and wrong timing can cause loss. Many investors in direct funds pay low costs but lose big due to poor decisions. Regular plans help you with asset allocation discipline. They help in tax planning. They help in cash flow planning. So your choice to hold regular plans is correct.

Also, you are not holding index funds. That is also helpful. Index funds look simple. But they have limits. They follow the market blindly. They cannot avoid costly stocks. They cannot adjust during fast changes. They cannot manage risk smartly. Actively managed funds have expert teams. They track markets. They remove weak stocks early. They use valuation signals. They work hard to beat inflation. This helps you get better long-term outcomes. So your choice of active funds is justified.

» Your Insurance Commitments

You pay Rs 4L yearly for LIC policies. These are mostly low-return plans. They mix insurance and investment. These plans restrict your cash flow. They give low long-term returns. They lock your money for long periods. They do not align well with your growth needs. Since you asked for deep assessment, I want to highlight this. In such plans, surrendering and shifting to mutual funds helps in long-term growth. If you hold ULIPs or investment-plus-insurance plans, then surrender and reinvest in mutual funds can help you build better wealth. But take final call after checking surrender charges and maturity periods.

» Your Equity Holdings

You have Rs 4Cr in stocks. This is your biggest liquid asset. Stocks can bring high growth. But they can also bring high swings. If you use this money blindly for business funding, it may reduce your safety. But if you use this money with a planned process, you can balance growth and stability.

You also hold Rs 2Cr in your retirement account. This account gives solid long-term security. Avoid touching this for business. It is your future safety net.

» Your Rent Income Comfort

Your rent income is Rs 1.1L per month. This is a very good cash flow. It covers your insurance premiums, school fees, food, routine needs. This is your safety cushion. Many entrepreneurs struggle because they depend on business income for survival. You have freedom from that. You can grow the business without cash flow stress. This is a big blessing. Use it wisely.

» Should You Fund the Business Through a Loan or Liquidation?

This is your main question. You need Rs 70L for your manufacturing business. You want to know if you should take a loan or sell stocks or take a loan on mutual funds.

Let us assess each option.

» Using Your Stocks

Selling stocks now may harm your long-term wealth. Stocks give high compounding over long years. If you sell now for business, you will lose future growth. Also, stock markets move in cycles. If you sell during a low cycle, you lose value. If you sell during a high cycle, you also lose future upside. Business also needs time to become stable. During early years, your business may not give steady returns. So selling long-term growth assets to fund a new business is not ideal. Short-term taxation and long-term taxation also matter. For stocks, short-term gains are taxed. Long-term gains above Rs 1.25L are taxed at 12.5%. This can reduce your capital further.

So avoid selling large portions of your stocks for business.

» Loan Against Mutual Funds

Loan against mutual funds is a flexible option. It is faster. It avoids the need to liquidate. You can borrow a part of your mutual fund value. You continue earning returns on the funds. You pay interest only on the amount used. The loan is usually cheaper than personal loans. But the loan tenure is usually short. The loan limit may change if markets fall. If markets fall sharply, you may get margin calls. This brings stress. Also, loan interest may reduce your free cash. You already have expenses of around Rs 6L per year. You have rent income. But taking a loan will reduce your safety margin.

Still, this is an acceptable option if you borrow only a small part. But for full Rs 70L, this may create pressure.

» Business Loan

A business loan or a working capital loan is also possible. But interest rates can be high. You need strong cash flow planning. You are starting a new venture. New ventures take time to generate steady income. Paying high EMI in early months can break your peace. You have no job now. So lenders may see more risk. They may ask for extra documentation or security. This may delay your business.

Business loan is fine for expansion. But for a fresh start, it increases risk.

» A Balanced Funding Strategy

You need a strategy that protects your long-term wealth. You also need a strategy that reduces your stress. And you need a strategy that helps your business grow step by step.

You have a very large equity portfolio of Rs 4Cr. You have Rs 87L in mutual funds. You have Rs 15L in gold. You have Rs 13L in your mother’s demat. You have Rs 30L in real estate investments. You have Rs 2Cr in retirement funds. So your total liquid and semi-liquid wealth is very strong.

A mixed approach will help.

You can consider these steps:

– Use a small part of your equity portfolio.
– Use a small loan against mutual funds.
– Avoid business loan in the early stage.
– Avoid big selling in mutual funds.
– Avoid touching retirement money.
– Keep rent income for household needs.

This mix gives balance. It keeps your compounding intact. It keeps your safety net solid. It spreads the funding load.

» Step-by-Step Funding View

» Use around 25% to 30% of your stocks

You have Rs 4Cr in stocks. Using around 25% to 30% of this for business is reasonable. This comes to around Rs 1Cr to Rs 1.2Cr. But you do not need full Rs 70L. You only need Rs 70L. So using a much smaller portion is enough. Selling around Rs 30L to Rs 40L from stocks is safe. It will not shake your long-term wealth. It will not disturb your retirement. It keeps your risk moderate.

Using stock money avoids loan burden. You stay stress-free in the early months of business. Business ideas need calm mind. EMI pressure affects decision quality.

» Use around Rs 20L to Rs 30L from a Loan Against Mutual Funds

Use only a small loan. Use it as a support. Do not borrow full Rs 70L. A small loan gives you liquidity. It helps you in working capital. It also keeps your mutual fund compounding alive. You repay this small loan once business cash flow improves. Margin pressure will also be low because you are using a small amount.

This mix creates balance. You use your assets wisely. You keep loans at a safe level. You keep space for future opportunities. Many businesses need follow-up capital. You must keep backup.

» Why Not Use Real Estate for Loan or Sale?

You already hold many houses. But selling a house for business can cause emotional stress. Also, real estate sale takes time. It may not give the right price. You also get good rent now. So do not disturb this. Your rent income is your mental safety. Keep it intact.

» Cash Flow Protection

Your rent income of Rs 1.1L covers your living needs. Your LIC expenses of Rs 4L yearly can be handled. But consider reviewing your LIC plans. If they are low-return plans, consider surrender and reinvest in mutual funds after checking charges. This will free up money. It will reduce unwanted cash flow pressure. It will also improve your long-term wealth.

Your business will take time. But your rent will protect you. You will not depend on business income in early months. This gives you clear mind. Clear mind helps in good business decisions.

» Risk Planning

You have dependents. You must protect them. You should have term insurance. If you have low-cover term plans, increase cover. A term plan gives high protection at low cost. Since your assets are large, even a moderate cover is fine. But term cover must be pure protection. Not investment-plus-insurance.

You also need health insurance for family. You have two kids. Your wife, mother, and yourself need good health cover. This protects your wealth.

» Emergency Fund

Keep an emergency fund of at least 12 months of your family expenses. You can use part of your ultra-short or low-duration funds for this. Emergency fund helps when business gets slow. It avoids panic. It avoids wrong selling.

» Business Risk Strategy

Start your business with clarity. Prepare a plan for machinery, staff, working capital, sales cycles. Keep business account separate. Do not mix personal and business money.

Use a slow start. Do not expand too fast. Test the idea in small scale. If your model works, expand next year. You have good assets. You can scale safely.

» Tax View

If you sell stocks, check long-term and short-term tax impact. Long-term gains above Rs 1.25L are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Keep this in mind while selecting which stocks to sell.

If you take loan against mutual funds, interest will not give tax benefit. But you avoid taxation from selling.

» Final Insights

You are in a strong position. You can start this business without fear. But you must protect your long-term wealth. You must avoid big loans. You must avoid disturbing your core assets.

A balanced funding plan is best. Use limited stock money. Use small loan against mutual funds. Keep rental income safe. Keep retirement funds untouched. Review your LIC plans. Build an emergency fund. Start business slowly. Grow it step-by-step.

Your journey till now shows strength. You will handle this phase also with confidence.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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