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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |428 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 26, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hey, I was in serious relationship with my boyfriend, we both discussed it with our family. He is a Jat and I a Brahmin. Both the families denied. My mother’s reactions was very rude and she kind of emotional blackmailed me. I have only my mother in my family. After that I tried many times to breakup with him, but everytime we end up being together. Now again his family is forcing him to get married but I am not ready yet to talk with my mother again. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that convincing your parents can be the toughest job ever. If you are not ready, you should communicate that to your partner. Make him understand your concerns. Now, since he is in a tough spot too, you should listen to his side as well. Both of you can sit together and find a middle ground that works for you both. Communication will help avoid misunderstandings. Let him know that you want this, but you need some time. Also, hear what he has to say. Maybe he is truly out of time. Figuring out an issue together is much better than trying to figure it out alone.

Best Wishes.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |405 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ma'am, I have been in a relationship for almost a decade now i.e. since graduation and now me and my bf are doing good in our respective jobs. Since we come from different religions, we have been trying to convince our family very much for last two years to let us happen and get married and in these scenarios during covid I lost my father too now that it's just me and my mom and my elder sister due to societal pressure also they were not agreeing for us but then I could feel now that his family was some how just dragging us showing fake acceptance for me but still being very orthodox but in this process me and my bf got committed to each other very seriously in terms of physical ways but now his family is completely denying the fact that they don't us to happen and are literally forcing his son to marry in their caste. On this thing, the guy is trying to make me understand with false accusations that it's not his family butine which doesn't want us to proceed since my family wanted a mutual ways of marriage and not just his culture thing or else court marriage was the last opt but my guy is saying no I can never go against my family this and that you better understand and I don't know I'm feeling very cheated that now at this stage after being this close where he should have been standing strong with me he's pushing me to set back I don't know iam so clueless I got no energy to get back to being productive in my life or something whereas this acts of his and his family's forcible nature is somehow triggering me to opt for legal methods....I need guidance it's all dark for me and feeling too used.
Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 10, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam, glad to find you here. Mam, I'm a female, 27 yrs, I have been in a relationship with my partner since 9yrs, but he is from different caste. We both were immature when we started our relationship but our relationship grew stronger as time passed.We have gone through ups and downs of our relationship and are still intact. When I was into 3yrs of our relationship he was doing some odd job, at that time I told my mom about us and she said 'NO' because of caste issue irrespective of his job. Another reason is that my father is an impulsive person who thinks to harm himself whenever something happens, so mom said my father might harm himself if I go forward. At the same time there were some issues in boys family and my brother met them and he said no to it.But I couldn't get away from him, so I stayed. Later I talked to my partner about his family environment and I said that I couldn't stay with them because of the negative impact. He talked to his family and confirmed that after marriage we will lead our life under different roof but maintain the sufficient relationship with his family. We both are now settled in jobs but he earns a bit less than me but we earn a handsome salary combining our both salaries. Now, it's time for my marriage and I want to marry him and he have changed alot for me without leaving his family and he understands me very well. I feel safe with him. Now the problem is my parents wants to get me married and I also want to get married to the whom I loved but my mom and brother are not yet all giving me the chance to convince them. They are trying to convince me for marriage with others but I couldn't do that, that will kill me all my life. They are saying that if I go for intercaste then they have to suffer all their life and my father might do something to himself if he finds out. I love my family dearly and that's why I have been waiting all these years for their approval. I do not want anyone to lose their life because of me. My partner have left the decision to me because of my situation at home and he is supportive of me. My transfer is nearing where I have two options, one is to opt for my home town(not Village), where I can bring my parents to town with me to stay( now my posting is in another city). Second is to opt for different city( where I have to stay with my brother who doesn't approve of my love and blames me for his career). In order for me to convince them for my marriage should stay with my family or away from them and how can I convince them? Sorry' for the long story and I hope I hear from you.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Be clear about what you want and in this process/journey, there will be a lot of highs and lows...
Also, you may not be able to have the cake and eat it too which is why you are struggling at making a decision. You want to marry the man of your dreams that your parents and brother disapprove of BUT you don't want to disappoint them by going against them...You can't have one foot in two different paths...it will tear you apart; literally...
So, decide what you want, the pros and cons of going against the family...of course there are situations where over time, parents have accepted the boy/girl but there's a lot of patient waiting.
If you are in haste, they are not going to relent and you will be left feeling disappointed...
Decide and then do whatever it takes to make that decision right...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1318 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Madam i am 21 years old having a good post at central government as at erly age i got job and i joint it now i am 22 and having a boyfriend he is also central government officer and he is age 29 bu despite of the age gap the love bloomed and we are so in love with each other i told my family early tge condition and said that i want to marry him but my parents said after 25 we will ger u married but by sharing this at hone they are not having trust on mr and are being insecure and wants me to leave a government job and to come home because he is not from same caste and it will also be interstate marriage my family is having the fear of relatives and my mother us against of it they are saying intercaste marriage we will not support or accept continuously emotional blackmail to me trying to manipulate, brainwash me and abusing me emotionally verbally and physically. what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Inter-faith marriages are still a big NO NO in many homes and yours is not an exception. Like in many other cases, my suggestion has been that both sides must want to get to know the other person. Like your parents need to see a different side of your boyfriend to be willing to accept him.
What is it that he can bring in their daughter's life that will ease their concerns about his faith/religion?
So, your boyfriend must be willing to be patient and make efforts on his part to integrate into your family. It takes time, so be patient.
Now, for your job...do not confuse emotions and your job. Your parents feels that you might take drastic steps with your boyfriend and hence want you closer to home so that they can keep an eye on you. Address this concern by being mature and immersing yourself more into work that gives them the confidence that you are not about to do anything behind their back.
Addressing what bothers them is a better way out rather than trying to convince them...as the same issues will keep coming back if you force them to accept something. So, be patient and responsible for things to sort themselves out...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1054 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2024Hindi
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Career
Hello, I am 3 yr neet dropper.in 2025 it will be my third attempt... I'm trying my best to crack neet ...i don't know what will happen will i score good marks or not ... please help me in suggesting good career options if not crack neet .....there are many options through neet marks also like bhms , veterinary...etc. i will also give entrance exam also like cuet ,gbpuat ,....but i want that what to choose which course will be best for me ...i want to make my life good and happy... having a good degree, good job ,...
Ans: Hello.
Have you analyzed your failure in 2 successive attempts in the NEET examination? If yes, then the question is what you have done for improvement and not then again the question arises why not? Here, I would like to suggest you focus now only on the NEET examination which is your 3rd attempt. Don't think about any other options right now till May 2025. After the NEET exam is over, you have ample time to explore the options available. Depending on your score in NEET 2025, we will guide you at that time. But yet, if you are confused, then looking towards your question and anxiety, you need personal counseling where you can express yourself face-to-face. Only after the NEET exam is over, you contact a counsellor for one-to-one counseling. Till then, keep mum and focus only on NEET. Take this exam as your mission and project. Work on this project, apply forces from all sides, success is there which is waiting for you eagerly.
Best of luck for your bright future.

Some tips: (1) Analyse separately Phy, Che, Bio (2) Prepare a list of hard topics (3) First focus more on the topics which are easy for you and then try to excel in hard topics (4) Appear more and more online/offline examinations (4) Prepare your short-cut file for all subjects (5) Prepare a file for each subject having only synopsis of all chapters (6) Try to solve the problems at the lightening speed and observe the period on regular basis (7) Create your time table to revise the topics on regular basis (8) Do not hesitate to ask your difficulties to your teachers, if you have joined to offline classes (9) Keep the habit of marking the answers which you know 100%. Don't guess the answers and mark them, as there is -ve marking scheme. (10) Be calm, quite, and smiling all the time to release the tension and always have a healthy chat with your friends.

If satisfied, please like and follow me.
If dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

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Pradeep

Pradeep Pramanik  |186 Answers  |Ask -

Career And Placement Consultant - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

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Career
I am looking for a job, I had uploaded my resume in job site. A consultant called me & introduced himself telling he know some of the openings. He had a detailed discussion about my job & my skills. He told need to register to his consultancy for scheduling interview. I registered with him & he got me a interview. Interview was done by the company through skype. I could not see the company persons. They told only they can see me. Interview went on well & regarding salary I told my expectation but they told it is not possible & they told their proposal. Finally I agreed to them. They gave me code & told to visit the company for next round. Consultant called me after first round & told recruiter is very happy with the interview. Regarding salary he told why I agreed for the proposal,he will discuss again & asked to pay charges for some of his services which he will refund the day I visit to the company & take the orders. I paid him. He told there is a increase in salary he has discussed with recruiter & again asked for the money I did only partial payment & further will not pay anything. Second round also happened through skype instead of in person. Interview went on well & salary offered was good comparing to before & there was a big jump. Recruiter told they have planned to give additional responsibilities so they have increased. Finally they gave me a date to visit company. I asked when will I get the order, he replied he will send to consultant as I was taken by them. Till now i did not get the orders, consultant is keep on postponing. Now he told visit to company date is also postponed, he will update in next week & not to worry as job is confirmed. Now not understanding what to do, am I been cheated or wait.
Ans: Dear Mr. Keshava ,

There are many unscruplous job agents who are fake and claim themselves to be a Placement consultant. In short You have been cheated . Before paying any fee for registration , you must ensure that the agency is genuine . If not don't even upload your resume . You may write to company , lodge a complaint against the agency. If the amount is very high , pl. take the help of police . .

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7097 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2024

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Money
I hv started sip in 2008 and still continued , now the monthly sip is 55k and total value is 1.85cr. Need to accumulate 7cr with in next 4 yrs pls guide how can i achieve. - Deepak J. Hajari
Ans: Deepak, your long-term SIP discipline is impressive. Accumulating Rs. 7 crore in 4 years is ambitious. Achieving this goal requires a strategic approach, as time is limited. Let's create an actionable plan for your success.

Current Financial Snapshot
Ongoing SIPs: Rs. 55,000 monthly.
Current Portfolio Value: Rs. 1.85 crore.
Target Corpus: Rs. 7 crore within 4 years.
Your consistent investing habits have built a solid foundation. However, to achieve your target, adjustments are needed.

Key Challenges
Short Time Frame: Four years is a limited period for aggressive wealth accumulation.
Significant Gap: A gap of Rs. 5.15 crore remains to meet the Rs. 7 crore goal.
Market Volatility: Equity investments might face short-term volatility.
Recommendations to Bridge the Gap
1. Increase Your SIP Contributions
Raise your SIP amount to Rs. 1.25 lakh per month.
This increase ensures faster wealth creation through compounding.
Prioritise high-growth funds in equity-oriented categories.
2. Invest Lump Sum Amounts
Consider deploying a lump sum if you have idle savings or low-yield investments.
Invest in aggressive equity mutual funds for higher potential returns.
Break down the lump sum into tranches for better market timing.
3. Diversify into High-Growth Mutual Funds
Focus on small-cap and mid-cap mutual funds for higher growth potential.
Maintain a balance with some large-cap exposure for stability.
Ensure the portfolio aligns with your high-return requirements.
4. Avoid Overexposure to Debt or Low-Yield Instruments
Limit debt investments during this aggressive growth phase.
Avoid instruments like FDs or debt mutual funds with lower returns.
Rely on equity for the next four years to maximise growth.
5. Rebalance Your Portfolio Regularly
Conduct a portfolio review every 6 months.
Reallocate funds based on underperforming or outperforming sectors.
Keep your portfolio aligned with market trends and your goals.
6. Capitalize on Bonus or Windfall Gains
Direct any bonuses, salary hikes, or windfall gains towards your target.
Avoid unnecessary expenses during this focused phase.
Tax Efficiency Matters
Equity Mutual Funds Taxation: Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.
Debt Mutual Funds Taxation: Taxed as per your income slab.
Plan redemptions strategically to minimise tax liabilities.
Leverage Market Opportunities
Benefit from Market Corrections: Use corrections as opportunities to invest lump sums.
Stay Invested for Compounding: Avoid early redemptions to let compounding work fully.
Role of Regular Monitoring
Track Performance: Ensure funds are performing as per expectations.
Switch Funds if Needed: Shift from underperforming funds to high-growth options.
Final Insights
Deepak, achieving Rs. 7 crore in 4 years requires aggressive yet calculated strategies. Increase your SIPs, deploy lump sums, and focus on high-growth funds. Regular monitoring and disciplined investing are key to your success. Stay patient and consistent.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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