Should I separate from my wife even if we own property together?

I have been married for a little more than five years and I am living under tremendous stress and depression. We live in a joint family with my parents and an unmarried brother. I had told her all this before marriage. She loves me very much but her attitude towards my relatives has been a matter of concern right from the start. She does not want to keep a relationship with anybody apart from my immediate family. Slowly, she started having problems with my mother also; both have started having minor clashes at home. Many times, it is my mother’s mistake. The main problem is that she is very nagging and complains and gets irritated very frequently at the smallest instance. Frustrated, I planned on separating with her but the news came of her pregnancy and we were blessed with a baby girl. After the baby was born, my wife’s frustration and irritation has increased manifold because of her fear that my mother will give much more love to the baby then she can. So their clashes have increased. Now my wife has been putting a lot of pressure on me to look for a new house away from my parents, since she wants her own space. I already have a home loan on the existing home and a car loan. There is very less scope for me to purchase a new home and I don't want to leave my parents. She just doesn't understand my position and clashes happen between us. Looking at all this, I desperately want to separate from her but can't do so because of our daughter. I love her the most and can't live without her. So I just endure what is happening every day. This has resulted in me slipping into depression. It has affected my work in office as well. I am not performing well, I don't like to speak with any of my friends or relatives, I don't feel like doing anything. I’m living for the sake of my daughter, that's it. Even my parents are not in a position to understand me and my situation so I can't talk to them either. Can you help? Just don’t publish my name.

Hi AnuAt the outset, thank you very much for your time to listen to my situation.I am 50 years old, married to my lover (46 years now) and blessed with two daughters. My wife comes from an upper caste with a poor background. She was my subordinate and got married in 2001 after dating her for more than 18 months.Immediately after marriage, I lost my job due to my mismanagement of responsibility with no criminal action. I suffered for six months and relocated to overseas and lived there for the past 19 years.With my hard work and commitment, my financial situation has improved considerably now. However, my wife's attitude has consistently changed in line with my financial growth. She strongly believes that because of her luck and my daughter’s luck only I was able to earn that much and live comfortably. With my severe official commitments, I did not mind her attitude that much. After the lockdown, I got the opportunity to understand the change and realised that she has constantly ill-treated me over the past 10 years. Also, I lost my parents a few years ago and my father gave his self-earned property worth a few crores to my elder brother and left nothing to me. At the same time, my wife got her ancestor property worth a few lakhs. This incident psychologically weakened me as she consistently abuses me saying she got a few lakhs worth of property whereas I got nothing from my parents. Now, for the last two years, she is not allowing me to perform my parents’ annual death ceremony rituals. She consistently uses bad words against my (departed) parents and makes most negative comments for the donations I made so far and terms me as an Idiot and useless person. She also criticises me in front of my friends and relatives.Her harassment gone to the extent of pushing me to commit suicide and for the sake of my daughter’s welfare, I managed to come out of that mindset on my own. Now, I am determined to live…. at the same time unable to absorb my wife’s harassment. I tried to explain to her in many ways and even begged her many times to stop ill-treating me. Instead, she is asking me how I am able to tolerate despite her ill-treatment for the past few years….Our physical relationship got disconnected for the past five years as she lists out silly reasons for avoiding me. She is refusing to come along with me to meet a psychologist. Also, she disconnected her long-term friends and created a new circle of friends in order to erase her past and maintain a high social image.From your expertise, kindly advise me on how to handle this situation which will be of highest support for me as I am having sleepless nights for the past 2 years.Kindly do not publish my name and request you to keep it anonymous.

Dear Anu I am a 46 year old man .. married for last 16 years... My wife is well educated but a house wife by choice.. I lost my father when i was 18 and had struggled a lot to gain a great life in terms of money, name in my field and satisfaction at work. At home front we live a nuclear family... me, my wife and my 12 year daughter. But after my marriage in 2006 for next 6/7 years we were in joint family. my daughter was born in 2010.. In joint family me, my younger brother his wife and my mother were members... during these years, my wife never got along with my mother, brother and his wife... and also had fights [severe kind] where she accused them for petty reason...she demanded separate house within 3 month of marriage.. but since I was not financially settled so I promised her we will buy own home in course of time... but over these 6&7 years her behavior started really erratic.. she stopped talking to everyone, and keep fighting with all my family. also the house with joint family owned my me and younger brother... she demanded i should sell the house and get my share to buy own house. which i refused as my brother and his family with my mother were also staying there... and while buying it my mother had helped us financially, without having her name as owner. over the period things became really bitter... we also had fights where out of anger I happened to slap her.. but as promised I bought another house [with lot of efforts since i m self employee] within 5/6 years and we shifted to another city around our previous house. but after shifting she had the same temperament. She never got along with me.. Over an argument she would stop talking to me, and when confronted she would mention about my share in old house which i left... she was not happy seeing my brother living in that house with his family and my mother... i told her as promised we bought this house and I haven't withdrew my share in that house.. may be over the year i will take my share as per market value.. but at this point we don't need to do it.. since it will involve a lot of turbulence for my brother, his family and my mother as they were settled there. so I strongly told her she should not think about as she have her house and focus on it. Over these time, we had a very cute daughter... growing.. her schooling started.. i got busy with my work... and my wife by choice chose to be house wife... taking care of house... but she was hell bent on the house issue over selling it and taking my share.. and due to that we had several fights... which became my life miserable. her point was why pay EMI when you can get share and pay off the loans for new house. in these 8/9 years she became bitter person... no ties with my relatives /cousins, no friends, never got along with neighbors... and opposite to that i have very cordial relation with her family, cousins, my family and have great social circle. when my daughter was 10 year old, i was already settled with good career and financial status... i had cleared all the home loan for our new home... i did everything all out to make her happier but her wish to sell that house where my brother with his wife and my mother i didn't take share or sell it.. and she keeps nagging me with that and her temperament getting worst... now she started accusing me for having an affair and threatening me that she will complain police if i argue with her. unfortunately my daughter had to see this... but my daughter is very sorted, focused and a good kid. In last 2 years i managed to buy another house, which is bigger, where we shifted 1.5 years back, she wanted to do a puja and refused to invite anyone from my family.. also bought one more house as investment.. and a farm too as second home... Im very happy and satisfied with my career and other aspects of life... but the bitterness of wife kept on increasing... sometimes i felt she wanted me to fail and she could just take the pleasure of making me feel how she was right.. which never happened.. Now she is completely out of touch with my family... her anger triggers when i speak to my brother , my mom, Now over these years my brother also managed to earn some money and he paid me an amount as part of my share for the house he is living.. which we mutually agreed among us... and i withdrew my name from that property... i informed this to my wife.. first she didnt believe.. and then she was not interested in it.. so basically over these years i managed to fulfil everything what i promised also took my share from the joint house even i was not very happy with that situation. but all these incidences.. my wife became a difficult person to deal with... be it talking a simple conversation or smallest issue.. we don't have any physical relation .... we sleep in different bedrooms.. my wife also became too possessive and control freak with my daughter.. my daughter is 12 now and she retaliate with it.. so even they keep fighting now... me and my daughter have a great bonding... over these period i started feeling that i married a wrong person.. sometimes i think of divorce but i m worried about my daughter.. and also lot other things as im 45 already.. i wont say that i have never done any mistake while these 16 years but i never chose to disconnect with my wife... i worked really hard to earn money to build a good fortune for my wife and daughter... but looks like she doesn't care... and she takes me completely for granted... she thinks i wont leave her and will be stuck around.. i also advised to visit a therapist or counselor... or join a meditation or do anything she likes to do... be it creative or extra curricular.. but she just ignores it... i am into creative field and this domestic chaos sometimes really bothers me. it never effected my work yet but i m worried it might just. Let me know your opinion... if there is something i can do more to help this mess with my wife.

Hi, we are married for 19 years and have two kids.My wife is ill tempered, very rude and aggressive. Even if I tell her not to get angry and change her attitude, she argues by asking am I so bad? is it my fault always and never ever agrees that she is wrong. Counselling, Communicating and nothing will change her behaviour. Off Iate I understood that she is having an affair with my friend (which is safe because often he comes to our home and he is very close with all of us). If I ask her about this she will never ever accept, rather would retaliate by asking, have I gone insane? She will tear me apart by her aggressive behaviour. She is faking her love towards me and talks all sweet things whenever she requires me or my services as a husband. I am not interested in any counselling or any other such services. She will not budge or accept, thats guaranteed. Please, guide me and kindly dont bring kids angle in this, that will not help me. Shall I divorce (I am sure, it will be initial drama and later on it will not make any difference to her, she is independent and is a professional beautician. I am ready to gift her the plot which is in my name, she will be more than happy). what to do with this kind of aggressive and non accepting behaviour?

I am married person since 2015. From last 2 to 3 years it is not working properly. Due to some following problems, 1. I am only one boy in my family. I don’t have any brother or sister. My father is also passed away, so there is need of child in my family because now I am at the age of 30. But my wife is not physically strong. There is always some health issue with her. 2. There is education gap too in between us. She is metric level education and I am engineer. Due to this we don’t have that much effective communication leads to conflicts in every situation. She never give respect to my mother and never do regular house works to and at the end of the day again conflicts arises between my mother and my wife. 3. I want to give divorce to her but unfortunately she is purposely not ready for that because she knows very well that she will never been happy in another house like my house. 4. Same problem when I discussed with her mother and father, they straight forward refuse to give divorce; they said, “if you have any problems or want to give divorce then go to those person who are responsible for marriage or who finalize your marriage”. Lastly, I am now at dead end and don’t know the solution of how to escape from this situation.