Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

How can I manage family conflict with a stubborn wife, interfering in-laws, and constant fights?

Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  | Answer  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Mar 10, 2025

Aamish Dhingra is a life coach, educationalist and founder of Cocoweave Coaching International, which provides professional training to empower individuals and organisations.
With over seven years of experience in human resources, he specialises in corporate training, life coaching services and team coaching. His expertise lies in solving complex problems, leading innovative projects and delivering impactful solutions that drive growth and transformation.
Aamish completed his BBA (bachelor of business administration) from Amity University and MBA from Jamia Hamdard University, both in Noida.
He holds a PCC (professional certified coach) certification from the International Coaching Federation, USA, and a credentialed practitioner of coaching certification from the International Coach Guild, Australia.... more
Ajay Question by Ajay on Mar 07, 2025Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I am 30 years old, I don't have a father. I have a family consisting of a brother, mother, wife and a 1 year old daughter. My wife and I always fight. In every fight my brother in law and mother in law interfere in every matter. They keep my wife's ego high. My wife also doesn't listen to me and listens to her mother. I am fed up with the fights. My wife behaves stubbornly. What should I do? Please tell me a solution...

Ans: What if the real issue isn’t the fights themselves, but the pattern they keep following? Every argument seems to have the same players, the same reactions, and the same outcome. But if nothing changes, where does that leave you? When emotions take over, who holds the power in the conversation - you or the reaction? If external voices are shaping your marriage, how much space is left for your own voice?
You can’t control how others behave, but you do control how you respond. If the same approach keeps leading to conflict, what would happen if you changed the way you engage? Would setting boundaries feel different if they came from a place of clarity rather than frustration? Would communication shift if the goal was to understand rather than to win?
The question isn’t just how to stop the fights - it’s how to break the cycle. Where do you start?
Wishing you success,
Aamish Dhingra
ICF-PCC Certified Life Coach
Co-Founder, Cocoweave Coaching International, Delhi

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

Listen
Relationship
I’m 39 male, married for last 10 years and have 2 kids. We were in a relationship and got married I love my wife and she also loves me a lot. We live in a joint family with my two elder sisters. One of my sisters got married in 2012 and got divorced. She lives with me and my other sister got married 4 years ago. She lives with her husband in the same house. We have a big bungalow. My 2nd sister’s husband’s house is very small and my sister doesn't want to live there that's why she lives in the same house with me. The problem is my wife doesn't want to live there with my sister. She always asks why your sister is not going to her husband’s house? Why is she living here? They don't like each other. They talk to each other for the sake of formality. I told my sister to go and live with her husband's house but she says 'I don't want to live there with their family; I will live here. This is my parents’ house.'Because of this I don't talk to her too much. My wife says I don't want to live here with them, let us stay in another house. But I cannot afford another home. I tell my wife that stay here because we cannot afford another home. This is our home. But she does not understand and we fight every week about this. I am stuck and cannot focus on my work because of this. Pls suggest what should I do?
Ans:

Dear C,

It’s a small crowd that you are all living in.

Too many people in one home can have its highs and lows. Privacy can be invaded and too many interferences from family members can cause a crack in the marriage.

Having said this, I do empathize with the fact that affordability of another home is an issue here.

So, have you tried getting back to the drawing board, bringing in all the members together and literally asking them to throw all that they have for and against one another.

If not, please initiate this. Simply explaining to your wife isn’t going to solve the problem.

If so many of you live under one roof, then it becomes everyone’s responsibility to pool in physically, financially and emotionally.

Your 2nd sister cannot cite reasons that she doesn’t want to live at her husband’s home. If she lives with you, how is she contributing to the home?

These are things that must be ironed out sooner than later. So, what are you waiting for?

Plunge in, bring everyone into the ring, talk, delegate responsibilities and ask them how they would like to contribute and share.

This will also allow your wife a feeling that you care, but that she needs to know your financial situation as well.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 23, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Because of my mother my married life is falling apart.. my mother does something purposely which hurts my wife and then quarrel starts. I pleaded my mother not to do so many times but she doesn't understand what we are loosing. I don't want to loose any of them family. Pls advice what should I do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're facing such a challenging situation. Balancing relationships with both your mother and your spouse can be difficult, but it's essential to find a way to create harmony. Here's some advice on how to handle this situation:

Communication: Open, honest, and empathetic communication is crucial. Sit down with your mother and your spouse separately and discuss the issue. Let them both know how much you care about them and the impact their conflicts are having on your life.
Set Boundaries: Clearly define boundaries with your mother and your spouse. Discuss what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Make it clear that you expect respect and kindness toward one another.
Counseling or Mediation: If direct communication doesn't resolve the issue, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a family therapist or counselor, to mediate the conversation. They can provide guidance and facilitate a constructive dialogue.
Prioritize Your Spouse: Your spouse should be your primary concern when it comes to your immediate family. Make sure your wife knows that you support her and are taking her concerns seriously.
Support Your Mother's Transition: If your mother's actions are rooted in a sense of loss or fear of losing you, reassure her that you still love her and that your relationship with your spouse doesn't diminish your love for her.
Time and Patience: Resolving family conflicts can take time. Be patient and persistent in your efforts to mend the relationships.
Self-Reflection: Reflect on your role in the situation and ensure you are not unintentionally contributing to the conflicts. Sometimes, small changes in your behavior can make a big difference.
Establish Separate Boundaries: If necessary, you might consider setting boundaries that involve keeping your mother and spouse apart if they can't peacefully coexist.
Remember, it's crucial to strike a balance and prioritize your spouse and immediate family. While maintaining a relationship with your mother is important, your marital relationship should come first. Seek professional help if the situation doesn't improve, as a therapist can provide guidance tailored to your specific circumstances.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |82 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11395 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 09, 2026

Career
My sister has an option to go for EEE/ECE in VIT Vellore campus or AI/ML in VIT Amravati/Bhopal campus. Which option should she go for? Want to maximise on placement opportunities in these uncertain times. Other colleges in list: 1. CSE, AI in SRM University (Ramapuram) 2. CSE /AI in Alliance University 3. CSE/ AI in Mahindra Ecole School of Engineering. Would really appreciate some help.
Ans: Satvik, before I answer your question, I suggest you ask your sister which branch she is interested in or passionate about, and what types of problems she wants to solve in the future to make the best choice. However, she should also remain adaptable and open to changing her focus if her interests evolve during her undergraduate program by upgrading her skills and staying informed about job market trends. Answering your question, please note, for placement security, VIT Vellore ECE is the best choice, offering a strong balance of brand reputation, alumni network, recruiters, and access to tech placements, with VIT reporting top recruiters and a high CTC of ?1 crore across all campuses. VIT Vellore EEE is a good option only if she is committed to developing strong coding and electronics skills. The AI-ML branch at VIT AP or Bhopal is attractive, though the campus brand is not as established as Vellore; notably, VIT Bhopal reported a highest package of 51 LPA and over 1,100 placements for 2025. Mahindra University’s CSE/AI program is a promising emerging option, with an average salary of 9.1 LPA and a highest package of 40 LPA in 2024. SRM Ramapuram’s CSE/AI offers a reasonable backup, while Alliance’s CSE/AI should be considered last. Overall, the final recommendation is to prioritize VIT Vellore ECE over AI/ML at the newer campuses. All the Best for Your Sister's Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x