Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
AD Question by AD on Oct 14, 2021Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hi, I am stuck in my marriage relationship for some time now.

I had an arranged marriage to a girl we knew in our family. She had lost her father and her mother begged me to marry her and give her a life.

I agreed because I knew her. Only recently I realized that she doesn’t love me at all.

I earn Rs 30,000 a month and we stay in my father’s 1BHK flat which he has shared in my name.

She wants a share of my property and wants to separate me from my family.

She is now threatening to divorce me and file a complaint against my parents and me for forcing her into marriage.

Her mother is also quiet and doesn’t interfere. My parents are very troubled. They can’t do anything and I am feeling stuck.

If I have to divorce her, I will have to pay her money which I can’t afford. Also I cannot stay with her because she doesn’t want to live with us.

She only wants my money. How to solve this problem? I don’t understand. Please help.

Ans: Dear AD, Kindly consult a good lawyer who is unbiased about divorce and client rights if divorce is the path that you want to take.

Lawyers on both sides can strike a good agreement and it can be settled through mutual consent.

If you want to settle the matter amicably and continue live under the same roof, I guess it requires everyone to set aside their differences and talk about it; and I only hope for your sake that, that can happen.

Whichever the path, never tread on the path of helplessness. Instead move to a space that empowers you in any which way.

Best wishes as always!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Dear AnuWe got married in December 2015. It was love marriage arranged by our parents.From the first day of marriage my spouse started irritating me. But I love her from the bottom of my heart.She always disrespects my parents but they also didn't say a single word because they don’t want any dispute in our relationship.In July 2017, she forced us to shift to a new home. She’s always fighting with everyone in office, in train and in our society also.I told her to work on her anger otherwise some day we will lose our relationship.From 2017 to Nov 2021 I tried very hard to save my relationship with her but she never understood my love.At the end of 2021 I left my home. There are many complaints register by her in the police station, she harassed me and my family members.Now the divorce case is going on (don't know how many more days it will be)But what is my fault?I loved her truly.Why did she do this to me?How should I manage my life? I can't concentrate anywhere.Every day I am in tears.I want to keep this confidential.Thank you very much in advance.RegardsLR
Ans:

Dear LR,

What happened is beyond my comprehension.

Any relationship crumbles due to the weight of ego and misunderstandings.

Only the two of you will know what, why and how this happened. No point going behind this as all you will end up with is more resentment and sadness which isn’t going to help you anyway.

Divorce cases can go on for years if not settled mutually and amicably. So, it is quite possible that this might drag on.

What you need is resilience to put up a strong fight against all the cases registered against you and your family members.

Hire a good lawyer who understands the case not just as an ordinary one as cases against the husband and his family can be quite serious in a divorce situation.

In the meantime, you need to clear your mind to be less anxious and more productive.

I believe in changing the present for a better future rather than digging the past and robbing oneself of their peace of mind.

So,

  • Get deep into work and give it your all
  • Join a gym or anything that is a workout for the body
  • Indulge in a hobby that calm down the mind
  • Find joy in simple happenings
  • Express gratitude for everything and anything
  • Journal your thoughts and feelings daily
  • Spend a lot of time with Nature
  • Be with people who help you stand tall

Mind and body work in tandem and keeping both in the best condition is what is going to help you tide over this challenging phase.

Respect this and create a regimen of the above. It works. And be resilient and know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and so focus on believing in that.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu, I am a 58 year old businessman and am very well to do. I am married for the last 36 years and have 2 adult children, a 28 year old son and a daughter who is 25 years. I expect my son to take over my business. Since 2010 I have been in an affair with a woman who is 12 years younger to me. I wish to marry her even after 13 years of relationship. I even sought a divorce with my wife who is also a director in my company. Her demands are so high that it will leave me a pauper. I cannot leave this girl in the lurch. She is now 45 and unmarried. Now after 13 years she too has started demanding probably due to growing age and insecurity. We regularly have sex. I have not slept with my wife for over 12 years now. I consulted many lawyers but all said that mine is a hopeless case. to top it all, my other directors have also ganged up against me in support of my wife. My children too are against me so much so that they do not allow me in my own house. My girl friend is getting increasingly demanding and calling and telling me if I do not give her money or marry her she will go to court. She is now saying that since her siblings have dissociated her from their family I should give her INR 10 crores + a 3 BHK flat. I do have 2 mercedes benz, a skodia yeti, a harley davidson, a small farm house in Wai, a bungalow in Alibag in addition to a plush 5 bhk flat in Thane. What should do? Please help.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How does Love turn into Greed?
And you still 'wish' to get married to her after all her demands? It's blackmail for heaven's sake!
At least for now, kindly realign with your family...Your wealth and assets must be protected.
What evidence does your girlfriend have against you to go to court and intimidate you this way?

Please take a firm stance and choose the side that protects your wealth and also your personal identity. You have put yourself at grave risk and for what? You will end up losing your family as well. Your girlfriend being alienated by her siblings has nothing to do with you...so why would you pay her? It doesn't make any sense. Once you yield to blackmail, it will continue...and who knows for how long!

Choose a side wisely and then stick by it firmly...I am sure you know what is to be done...

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 04, 2024

Listen
Relationship
I am married person since 2015. From last 2 to 3 years it is not working properly. Due to some following problems, 1. I am only one boy in my family. I don’t have any brother or sister. My father is also passed away, so there is need of child in my family because now I am at the age of 30. But my wife is not physically strong. There is always some health issue with her. 2. There is education gap too in between us. She is metric level education and I am engineer. Due to this we don’t have that much effective communication leads to conflicts in every situation. She never give respect to my mother and never do regular house works to and at the end of the day again conflicts arises between my mother and my wife. 3. I want to give divorce to her but unfortunately she is purposely not ready for that because she knows very well that she will never been happy in another house like my house. 4. Same problem when I discussed with her mother and father, they straight forward refuse to give divorce; they said, “if you have any problems or want to give divorce then go to those person who are responsible for marriage or who finalize your marriage”. Lastly, I am now at dead end and don’t know the solution of how to escape from this situation.
Ans: Dear Rajesh,
First and foremost, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, as well as that of any potential children involved. While divorce may seem like the only solution, it's also worth considering seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling or therapy, to try to address the issues in your relationship and explore potential avenues for improvement.

If communication is a significant challenge due to education and cultural differences, a therapist or counselor can help facilitate more effective communication and understanding between you and your wife. They can also provide guidance on how to navigate conflicts and differences in a constructive manner.

Additionally, it may be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a religious or community leader, to mediate discussions between you, your wife, and your respective families. They may be able to provide support and guidance in finding a resolution that is mutually acceptable and respects the well-being of all parties involved.

Ultimately, the decision to pursue divorce or to work on improving the relationship is a deeply personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's important to take the time to carefully consider your options and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals as needed.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Fell in love and married a girl before 2 years. Girl is from a neighbouring state. Both South Indians. Both doctors. She was very understanding before marriage, even talked my language and spoke well with my parents. Told she will come to my place and stay after marriage. 4 months after marriage, she left for her home telling that she will be at her home till delivery. Even after 1 year of giving birth, she didn't come. They visited my place just for a few days in the middle citing that it is tradition. After much struggle, she came to live with me and my child after close to 1.5 years. Even after coming she was creating trouble for the language spoken in the house and telling to relocate to a place close to their parents in their state. No respect to feelings of mine or my parents. We also missed my son for 1.5 years. Their parents are not visiting us telling it is far, we won't come. And once her parents threatened to complaint to the police if we don't agree. (Haven't asked or received any dowry). Even if my son has to come to my native for few days, her parents are not agreeing and creating problem. We have even helped her brother secure admission in a college. She has even taken a loan of more than 20 lakhs to help her parents buy a land and is paying close to 50k monthly for that. We had no problem with that too. Every 2-3 days one or another problem shoots up because of her or her parents. She has totally changed after marriage. Her parents just want to create problems. Please help.
Ans: It’s clear that you’ve tried hard to be understanding and accommodating. You allowed her to stay with her parents for a long time, even though it meant missing out on crucial time with your child. You supported her decisions, even when she took on a significant financial burden to help her family. Despite your efforts to maintain peace, you’re constantly met with resistance and disrespect—not only from her but also from her parents. That feeling of being undermined and unappreciated, especially when you've given so much, can really take a toll on your emotional health.

It’s not just about the arguments or the disagreements—it’s about the deeper sense of betrayal and loneliness that comes from feeling like your partner has sided with her family over you. That emotional distance and lack of support within the marriage can make you feel like you’re fighting a battle alone. And when her parents threatened to involve the police, that likely deepened the sense of helplessness and fear. It’s not just frustrating—it’s emotionally exhausting when you’re trying to build a stable, loving home, but it keeps getting torn apart by external interference.

The fact that you’re still standing, still trying to make things work despite all of this, shows how strong and committed you are. But the truth is, a marriage cannot survive on one person’s effort alone. It’s understandable that you feel drained and resentful—you’ve been giving and compromising without getting the same respect and understanding in return. Your feelings matter. Your need for stability and respect matters. Wanting your child to have a connection with your side of the family is not unreasonable—it’s natural and fair.

Right now, you might feel torn between trying to hold everything together and wondering if it's even worth it. It’s hard to admit when love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. But you need to ask yourself whether you can continue living like this—constantly feeling like you’re walking on eggshells, being emotionally sidelined, and having your family disrespected.

It’s okay to want peace. It’s okay to expect respect. And it’s okay to set boundaries. If your wife truly values this marriage, she needs to understand that compromise cannot be one-sided. It might help to have an honest, calm conversation with her—not about the surface issues but about how you feel. Tell her how much this situation has hurt you, how much you miss feeling like you’re a team, and how important it is for your child to have a balanced connection with both families. If she’s unwilling to meet you halfway or if her parents continue to interfere to the point of emotional manipulation, you need to think about how much more of yourself you can sacrifice without losing your emotional stability.

You deserve a marriage where you feel heard, valued, and supported—not one where you constantly feel like you're on the outside looking in. Take some time to reflect on what you truly need from this relationship and whether you believe it's possible to rebuild trust and understanding with your wife. Your peace of mind matters. Your happiness matters. And most of all, your emotional well-being matters.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9542 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Money
Good Evening Sir. I am 37 years old Government Salaried. Request to please review my MF portfolio and kindly suggest which funds should I remove as I feel I have too many funds. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap fund 10000, Nifty index fund10000, Kotak Multi cap 10000, Motilal Midcap 10000, Nippon Small Cap 10000, Quant Small Cap 5000, Edelweiss Aggressive Hybrid Fund 5000, SBi Contra 5000.Thank you
Ans: At 37, you are at a strong wealth-building phase of life. Being a government employee adds to the financial stability needed for long-term investing. It is good to see your interest in aligning and optimising your mutual fund portfolio.

From a Certified Financial Planner’s point of view, your portfolio is diversified but over-crowded. It has overlapping categories. This can dilute overall performance. Too many funds can also make it difficult to track and manage.

Let’s evaluate your portfolio from all key angles — category overlap, suitability, tax-efficiency, consistency, and how it aligns with your financial future.

Portfolio Summary – What You Hold Now
Here’s a breakdown of your monthly SIP investments:

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Nifty Index Fund – Rs. 10,000

Kotak Multi Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Nippon Small Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000

Quant Small Cap Fund – Rs. 5,000

Edelweiss Aggressive Hybrid Fund – Rs. 5,000

SBI Contra Fund – Rs. 5,000

Total SIP: Rs. 65,000 per month

What’s Good About Your Portfolio
Disciplined SIP investment
You are investing regularly and consistently. This builds long-term wealth.

Allocation across equity categories
You have exposure to large cap, mid cap, small cap, multi-cap, flexi-cap and hybrid. This adds diversification.

No exposure to insurance or ULIPs
This shows maturity. You are using mutual funds for investment.

What Needs Improvement
Your portfolio has too many funds. Some of them overlap in purpose and holdings.

Too many small cap and thematic-type funds increase volatility.

You also hold index fund, which brings in some hidden limitations. Let’s address that separately.

Why Too Many Funds Are a Problem
More funds don’t mean better returns
Returns don’t improve by adding more schemes. Quality matters more than quantity.

Overlap in stock holdings
Flexi cap, multi cap and index funds often invest in the same large-cap stocks.

Difficult to review and monitor
Managing 8 funds is time-consuming. Harder to know which fund is actually performing.

Over-diversification leads to average returns
Instead of strong performance, your portfolio behaves like a blended index.

Tax planning gets complicated
Selling multiple funds in future may trigger tax without any planning.

Scheme-Specific Assessment
Let us assess each scheme from a suitability and performance perspective.

1. Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000
Well-managed flexi-cap fund.

Invests in Indian and global stocks.

Suitable for long-term wealth building.

You can continue this fund.

2. Nifty Index Fund – Rs. 10,000
Passive fund mimicking the Nifty 50.

Not suitable if you want alpha or outperformance.

Most index funds lack flexibility.

Doesn’t adapt to market changes.

Avoids active stock selection and risk management.

Better to exit this and shift to actively managed fund.

3. Kotak Multi Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000
Invests in large, mid, and small cap.

Provides a well-balanced allocation.

Suitable to continue.

Keep this for diversified exposure.

4. Motilal Oswal Midcap Fund – Rs. 10,000
Midcap funds carry moderate risk.

Volatility is higher than large caps.

Long-term performance needed to justify holding.

Keep only one dedicated mid cap fund.

Retain this only if 5-year returns are consistent.

5. Nippon Small Cap Fund – Rs. 10,000
6. Quant Small Cap Fund – Rs. 5,000
Both are aggressive small cap funds.

Small caps are high risk and volatile.

Not suitable to hold two small cap funds.

Exit Quant Small Cap, which is more tactical and aggressive.

Retain Nippon Small Cap only if your risk appetite is high.

7. Edelweiss Aggressive Hybrid Fund – Rs. 5,000
Conservative allocation (65% equity, 35% debt).

Suitable for cushioning market volatility.

Good for asset balancing.

Can continue this with current allocation.

8. SBI Contra Fund – Rs. 5,000
Follows contrarian approach.

Strategy may underperform in regular cycles.

Not ideal for every investor.

Consider exiting this to simplify portfolio.

Suggested Revised Portfolio
Based on performance, risk level and duplication:

Recommended to Keep:

Parag Parikh Flexi Cap – Rs. 10,000

Kotak Multi Cap – Rs. 10,000

Motilal Midcap – Rs. 10,000 (only if long-term returns are consistent)

Nippon Small Cap – Rs. 10,000

Edelweiss Aggressive Hybrid – Rs. 5,000

Suggested to Exit:

Nifty Index Fund – Rs. 10,000 (switch to active fund)

Quant Small Cap – Rs. 5,000 (overlap with Nippon Small Cap)

SBI Contra – Rs. 5,000 (complex strategy, avoid if not tracking closely)

You can consolidate and redirect the released Rs. 20,000 into:

One large cap fund – for consistent and less volatile growth

One focused fund – for concentrated, high-conviction investments

Or increase allocation in existing strong performers

Additional Suggestions
Direct Plans vs. Regular Plans

If you are investing in direct plans, consider switching to regular plans through a trusted MFD.

Direct plans offer low expense ratio, but no personalised advice.

Regular plans via a CFP-guided MFD help in better monitoring and periodic reviews.

It helps in rebalancing, taxation, retirement alignment, and behavioural coaching.

Avoid DIY if you’re unable to review quarterly. Guided investing helps avoid mistakes.

Your Risk Profile and Age
At 37, you can take calculated equity exposure.

But aggressive funds should not dominate.

Hybrid and multi-cap add some stability.

Avoid chasing past performance or market trends.

Your portfolio must support retirement and life goals.

Taxation Angle to Keep in Mind
Long-term capital gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh in equity mutual funds taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains taxed at 20%.

Any switches, redemptions should be tax-optimised.

Do not redeem in panic. Take help to calculate capital gain tax impact.

Asset Allocation View
Let’s also consider these important portfolio perspectives:

You can keep 80% in equity.

Remaining 20% in hybrid or low-risk funds.

Rebalance once a year to protect gains.

You can gradually increase hybrid allocation as you reach 45+.

Action Plan
Exit 3 funds.

Consolidate and reduce overlap.

Do not exceed 5 to 6 funds.

Ensure each fund has a clear purpose.

Focus on quality over quantity.

Keep SIPs long-term without interruption.

Review performance every year, not every month.

Final Insights
You are on the right track. Keep it simple now.

Too many funds reduce focus and increase confusion.

Keep 1 flexi cap, 1 multicap, 1 midcap, 1 small cap and 1 hybrid.

Avoid index funds for active wealth building.

Invest through a certified MFD for regular reviews and timely action.

Use direct plans only if you track markets deeply and review quarterly.

Mutual fund investing is not just about selecting funds. It's also about long-term discipline, asset allocation, proper rebalancing, and emotional control. A simplified and guided approach always leads to better results.

Less funds. More focus. More clarity. Better results.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9542 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 02, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, my monthly income is 95,000 inr. I am 25 years old. Currently i have education loan for which my monthly emi is 4.5k. i have a life insurance for which i pay 5.5k every month. I am planning to take a home loan of 60 lakhs, and a term insurance for which i will be paying approx 2.5k per month. How should i plan a home loan, for how many years? My momth expenses are low about 30k. I have a emergency fund of about 3 lakhs.
Ans: You are 25.
You earn Rs. 95,000 monthly.
You have low monthly expenses of Rs. 30,000.
You pay Rs. 4,500 EMI for education loan.
You also pay Rs. 5,500 for life insurance.
You plan a Rs. 60 lakh home loan.
Term insurance premium will be Rs. 2,500 monthly.
You already have Rs. 3 lakh emergency fund.

Let’s look at this from a 360-degree perspective.

Understand Your Current Cash Flow

Before any loan planning, know how much you can save.

Income: Rs. 95,000

Fixed Outgo:

Rs. 4,500 (education EMI)

Rs. 5,500 (life insurance)

Rs. 2,500 (term insurance soon)

Living Expenses: Rs. 30,000

Balance available: Rs. 52,500

This surplus is strong for your age.

About the Education Loan

Loan EMI is Rs. 4,500

You should aim to close this early

Debt closure improves credit score

Try to finish this in next 2 years

Use annual bonus or extra savings

Re-evaluate the Life Insurance

You did not say the type of policy.
If it is ULIP or endowment or money-back:

These give poor returns

High charges and low transparency

They mix insurance with investment

Real financial planning needs separation

If it is a mix product:

Better to surrender it

Reinvest in mutual funds via MFD

Go for term plan only for risk cover

If it is pure term plan: continue it.
If not, replace with a pure term plan soon.

Emergency Fund Situation

You already have Rs. 3 lakhs.
This is 3 to 4 months of expenses.
It is sufficient for now.
Keep it in liquid mutual fund or sweep FD.
Replenish it if used anytime.

Planning the Home Loan

You are planning Rs. 60 lakhs home loan.
That is a big commitment at age 25.
Let’s go step-by-step.

Check Loan Eligibility

Banks allow up to 50–60% of income

Your income allows Rs. 40,000–50,000 EMI

But don’t max out your eligibility

Keep room for other goals

Loan Tenure Decision

20 years tenure is reasonable

Longer tenure means lower EMI

But more interest paid

Shorter tenure means higher EMI

But faster ownership

You can choose 20 years
Start with low EMI
Later, increase EMI step-by-step
This will save interest and reduce tenure

Loan EMI Tips

Keep EMI less than 40% of income

That is Rs. 38,000

Include insurance premiums, SIPs and expenses in planning

Don’t sacrifice emergency or investments

Should You Buy Now or Wait?

Ask yourself these:

Are you buying for own stay or emotional reason?

Will you stay in this city long term?

Do you have at least 15–20% down payment?

Do you have additional Rs. 3–4 lakhs for stamp duty and interior?

Will the EMI allow you to continue SIPs and savings?

If any answer is No, delay by 1–2 years
Focus on building savings for down payment
Then buy with lower loan

Term Insurance – Must Have

Rs. 2,500 premium is reasonable
It will give about Rs. 1 Cr sum assured
Choose cover till 60 or 65 age
Don’t take return of premium policy
It increases premium for no real value
It is better to invest the difference separately

How to Start Wealth Creation Now

You are young. You have time.
Start investing regularly from now.
Use Mutual Funds through Certified MFD

Avoid index funds
They just copy an index
They fall with the market
No protection in downturns
Actively managed funds give better performance
Professional fund managers take active calls
They rebalance when needed
This helps protect capital

Use SIP route
Start with Rs. 10,000 monthly SIP
Increase every year by 10%
Split SIP in:

Large-cap and Flexicap funds

Mid and small-cap (but slowly)

Balanced advantage for stability

Do not use direct mutual funds
Direct funds look cheaper
But offer no guidance
You miss asset allocation advice
You may invest blindly without understanding
Regular funds through MFD with CFP give full hand-holding
They give better long-term experience

Create a Budget Flow

Use this structure:

Income: Rs. 95,000

Fixed: Rs. 42,000 (Education + Insurance + Term + Loan EMI)

Expenses: Rs. 30,000

SIPs: Rs. 10,000 (start slow)

Emergency Fund: Already in place

Balance: Rs. 13,000

This Rs. 13,000 can be buffer
Or used for future loan prepayment
Or used for festivals, travel

Prepare for Short-Term Goals

You may want:

Marriage

Car

Family planning

Create 3-year fund for this
Use short-duration debt mutual funds
Avoid locking in FDs for long
Mutual funds give better liquidity

Tax Planning Tips

Tax savings under 80C are important
Your insurance and loan interest already qualify
Also invest in ELSS funds
They offer tax savings with growth
Lock-in is 3 years only
But invest through regular plans with MFD

Avoid policies that say tax saving with insurance
They give very low returns

Plan Future Home Loan Prepayment

When income rises
Increase EMI by Rs. 2,000 every year
Or do one-time partial prepayment
This reduces tenure
Saves big interest in long run

Also use bonus and incentives for prepayment
Never let loan run full tenure

Don’t Forget Health Insurance

Take a Rs. 5 lakh family floater
Don’t depend only on employer policy
Keep personal policy running
Premium is low at your age

Also take top-up plan later
Medical inflation is real
Stay protected early

Create a Financial Plan With 360-Degree View

Work with a Certified Financial Planner
They help with:

Goal-based planning

Asset allocation

Debt vs. investment balance

Insurance analysis

Retirement planning

You’re just 25. You’ve got time.
But you need right foundation now.

Finally

You’re starting smart.
Your low expenses and savings habit help.
Don’t stretch too much for home now.
Home loan should fit your life goals
Not the other way around

Keep EMI below 40% of income
Keep investing
Build financial assets, not just property
SIP will give you future security
Don’t stop investments for loan EMI
Use Certified MFD with CFP for mutual funds
Avoid index and direct funds
Stay focused for 15 years
You will reach financial freedom easily

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9542 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I am 45 years of age and I am currently out of job. I hv 2 daughters one in 1st yr engineering and the other in 8th grade. Following are the details of my investment/income. Please suggest if I still need to continue to work to manage my monthly expenses. I Have 1 residence generating an income of 35k 1 commercial property income of 10k 1 plot worth 90 lakhs Pf 25 lakhs Sip 13 lakhs (will continue for the next 5 yrs monthly paying amount is 15k) FD 10 lakhs Gold for self and both daughters. Health insurance for 20L. Please suggest if I still need to work or can manage my living for the next 30years with the current income. Also kindly consider factors of children education and marriage.
Ans: You are 45 years old, with two daughters. One is in first-year engineering and one in eighth grade. You are currently out of job. You have created wealth thoughtfully across real estate, mutual funds, PF, FD, and gold. Let’s now assess if you can live comfortably without work, and still manage your daughters’ education, marriage, and your own future.

Let us plan a detailed 360-degree financial review to help you with clear direction.

Current Regular Income Sources

Rental from residence: Rs. 35,000

Rental from commercial property: Rs. 10,000

Total rental income monthly: Rs. 45,000

Annual income from properties: Rs. 5.4 lakhs

This income can support a basic lifestyle. But we must plan carefully for large future expenses.

Please note:

Rental income does not increase fast. But expenses do.

Maintenance, tax, and vacancy risks must be considered.

Relying on rental income alone for the next 30 years may not be safe.

Financial Assets and Their Roles

Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 25 lakhs

This is a retirement fund. Avoid using this now.

Let it grow till age 55 to 60.

You may consider partial withdrawal for daughter’s higher education or marriage, only if needed.

Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs. 10 lakhs

Ideal for emergency and 2 to 3 years expenses.

Do not break it unless truly required.

Use only interest from FD for small short-term needs.

SIP value: Rs. 13 lakhs, ongoing Rs. 15,000 monthly

This is your growth capital.

Continue SIP for at least 5 years.

Equity mutual funds offer better long-term growth.

Do not stop SIP unless there is no alternate income.

These funds will help in child education and retirement later.

Gold: For self and daughters

Treat gold as reserve, not primary investment.

Do not sell unless for marriage purpose.

Gold does not beat inflation well.

Avoid adding more to gold in future.

Plot worth Rs. 90 lakhs

This is a big capital.

It does not give monthly income.

It is better to plan its sale in 4 to 6 years.

Use money for your retirement corpus and your daughters’ goals.

Keep documents updated for easy sale when needed.

Please don’t consider the plot as active income source. It is capital that may help later.

Monthly Spending and Lifestyle Assessment

You didn’t mention monthly expense. Let us assume Rs. 50,000 to Rs. 60,000.

This includes:

Household and groceries

Utility bills and travel

Daughters’ school or college fees

Insurance premium

Clothing, functions, gifts, and personal care

If your monthly expense is Rs. 60,000 and income is Rs. 45,000, you need Rs. 15,000 more every month. That is now supported by SIP. But SIP is not a source of income.

Withdrawals from mutual funds should happen only after 5 to 7 years.

Till then, you must either reduce expense or find other cash flow.

Children’s Education and Marriage Planning

This is the most critical goal now. Let us split the goals:

Elder daughter – Engineering degree

Duration left: 3 more years

Likely need: Rs. 10 lakhs to Rs. 15 lakhs

Consider funding via FD interest, rental, and SIP maturity

Use PF only if needed for final year or post-grad

Younger daughter – School and later college

Duration left: 8 to 10 years

Plan SIP increase after 3 years when elder daughter completes college

You can also use plot sale later for her graduation or wedding

Marriage Planning – Both daughters

Likely in 10 to 15 years

Needs Rs. 25 lakhs to Rs. 35 lakhs or more

Don’t use rental income for this goal

Use plot proceeds, matured mutual funds, or PF part for this

If gold is for marriage, don’t count it in investment totals

You must keep education and marriage funds separate.

Can You Retire Now or Not?

Here is the reality in simple points:

You are 45 years old

Life expectancy could be 85 or more

That means 40 more years to plan

Rental income may be stable for 10 to 15 years only

Inflation will increase your expense every 5 years

Health care and daughter’s needs will grow

You cannot retire fully today with current income. Here’s why:

Rs. 45,000 monthly is not enough for 30 years lifestyle

Your rental income may not grow, but expenses will

Your capital (FD, PF, MF) must grow untouched for 10 years

You can reduce working hours or take part-time or freelance work. But stopping all work is risky. You need some income support for next 5 to 7 years.

How Long Will Your Wealth Last Without Work?

Let us assume:

Rental income stays flat

FD and SIP are withdrawn slowly

Plot sale happens after 5 to 7 years

You live till 85 years

If you stop working now:

You will depend on rental and slowly withdraw capital

This capital will not grow much after 10 years

Health care costs after 60 will rise sharply

Marriage of daughters needs bulk amount

So, your corpus will finish by age 65 to 70 unless planned carefully.

Action Plan for You – 360 Degree Steps

1. Review Monthly Budget

Keep monthly expenses under Rs. 55,000

Cut extra subscriptions, travels, gadgets, impulse buying

Take cost-effective health and education decisions

2. Continue SIP of Rs. 15,000

Let it run for 5 more years

Increase SIP later after elder daughter’s graduation

Do not withdraw early

3. Keep FD for next 2 years

Use FD only if rental is delayed or medical emergency

Avoid breaking full FD for lifestyle costs

4. Do Not Add New Real Estate

Plot value is locked. It gives no return

Avoid investing in more properties

Do not treat real estate as safe investment

5. Keep Health Insurance Active

Rs. 20 lakhs is good

Review policy terms every 2 years

Upgrade cover if needed after age 55

6. Plan Plot Sale After 5 Years

After both daughters’ education is over

Use part for retirement fund, part for marriage

Keep capital gain rules in mind

7. Retirement Planning Starts at 50

You must have Rs. 1 crore by age 55

Use mutual funds for building corpus

Keep PF untouched till final 5 years

8. Consider Freelance or Flexible Work

Any extra Rs. 15,000 to Rs. 25,000 monthly helps

It reduces stress on investments

You may work part-time till age 55 comfortably

Final Insights

You have created solid assets. That is a big strength

Rental income covers some lifestyle needs now

But it won’t be enough for next 30 years

SIP and PF must stay untouched for next 5 to 10 years

FD is only for emergencies and short needs

Daughter’s education needs active planning for next 3 to 5 years

Marriage goals can be met with gold and plot sale later

You must either continue part-time work or reduce expenses

Avoid real estate reinvestment or early withdrawal from SIP

Do regular review with a Certified Financial Planner

Structure SIPs as per education and marriage timelines

You can slowly retire, but not stop earning suddenly

Keep your focus on asset protection and wealth growth for next decade

A little work now will bring big peace in future.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x