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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2021

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
AB Question by AB on Sep 06, 2021Hindi
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Relationship

I'm working in a company for last 10 years and have been a consistent good performer. The management recognises it too.

But in the last 2-3 years one person from Finance (same as my level) has been consistently interfering and keeps talking negative about my work.

He makes my working as routine and not much significant to current output by constantly talking / pushing to management mentioning negatives of my doings.

He is dominating the entire company and our management knows it but doesn't contradict him on face and keep avoiding issues when we talk of it.

He controls all our efforts and denies execution / completion even if approved by CEO quoting himself as finance controller and approves for other things who doesn't object to him.

On confrontation he avoids us and changes his stance - denies he ever did it.

It is becoming very difficult to bear every day frustrations though I haven't allowed him any chance to say on my performance as every year we surpass targets with 10-15% higher achievement and collections front too we succeed efficiently.

He is been responsible for legal matters and hasn't been effective of recovery of bad debts and smartly puts onus on others for default / losses.

Pl advice me directly on mail only as I've many things to share but above should give you my mindset.

Ans: Dear A, I hear you. What still is unclear from what you have shared is what is it that you want clarity on from me?

Do you want to build a stronger mindset to deal with the situation?

Assuming (I have to assume here because, I don’t know how this is affecting you) that this is possibly keeping you on your toes as to what will be his next move, this maybe affecting your peace of mind; the only thing that I feel you can do is develop a strategy to checkmate him at every instance.

By now, you know his pattern of doing things and causing nuisance and then conveniently hiding things, it should give you an edge by simply predicting his next move and staying ahead in the game.

Most times, using the mind to strategize is more helpful rather than using it to obsess over why the other person is doing what he/she is doing.

We cannot ever control another person’s behaviour, but what we can do is reflect within and play the game smartly without creating a huge ruckus. In the end, based on my assumption, it's your peace of mind that you can be in no matter what happens outside you.

Based on the strategy through his patterned behaviour, it should give you a good head start before you embark on any project/meeting/presentation or whatever. You have experienced it and been in the midst of it all; now Observe and

Change what you do; without ever thinking that he is the one to change. He will at his own relevant time.

Spend your energies not on controlling him but on yourself and how you can plan, evaluate and execute. Focus on oneself can go a long way in changing things; personal pr professional.

(My answer is based on what little I could gather from your question)

Best wishes.

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |121 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am software engineer aged 30 years. My manager is a sadist doesn't understand anything technically and always pester us on non essential things that doesn't matter at all in the work and deliverables. We are getting frustrated most of the times. Always blames others for his/her own mistakes. Always divides and rule the team. Always wants to go out and party even if there is lot of work and end of the day, asks for the work status. I do not want to leave the company but doesn't bare this manager at all. Please suggest what to do. I am at my low.
Ans: Hello!!
Most of us have had managers at some point in our careers, while some are helpful, compassionate, and capable, others may not meet these standards, clearly yours is not meeting the standards!! Dealing with challenging managers can be, well, a challenge. Be courageous and face the challenge, you are not a newbie you are a strong 30 yr old man.
When I worked in the corporate world, what I heard most of the times was that people don't leave a company, they leave bad bosses. Throughout your question you have always mentioned a "we", that means this bad boss is affecting many more people.
You have these options-
1. you all can send a signed petition about this boss, post this to the HR
2. nobody has to suffer at work, there will always be a way out, look for it
3. you be sincere in your work and deliver, develop a thick skin and don't allow this boss to affect you
3.if nothing works then quit, do whatever it takes to be peaceful at work

I am sure a smart 30 yr old software engineer like you "can" and "will" find a solution to this problem by choosing your options wisely and looking into what is important for you!

All the best!!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am working in a corporate for last 14 years now, I always face problem dealing with people. Specially with those who you know does not have good intentions and can push you down by any means to show their worth. I usually keep my bare minimum interaction with them however they manipulation my teammates and instigate against me Irony is that whom I have a rift are in good books of the management. I simply cannot understand how management can be so bias, just with alcohol, non veg and gossips people can grow It' been 15 years I always struggle dealing with manipulative and toxic coworkers.
Ans: It’s common in corporate settings for certain people to thrive through social politics, but that doesn’t mean it’s fair or that you have to put up with it indefinitely. While keeping a minimum interaction with these individuals is a healthy boundary, it might also be time to think about how you can navigate these situations more strategically, without letting them affect your mental peace.

One approach could be to shift your focus from trying to understand why management might be biased to figuring out how you can position yourself better within the organization. Sometimes, it’s not about playing the same game as those toxic coworkers but about creating your own narrative. Instead of engaging with the drama, focus on building strong alliances with people who appreciate your work and values. Even if management seems biased, finding key people who recognize your worth can help you stay grounded and give you a sense of support.

At the same time, it’s crucial to recognize that you cannot control how others behave, but you can control how you respond. If you feel manipulated or undermined, documenting these situations can be helpful, especially if it ever escalates to a point where you need to defend yourself to HR or management.

Ultimately, it might also be worth reflecting on whether this work environment is the right fit for you long-term. Toxic environments can be exhausting, and if the culture consistently rewards those who engage in gossip and manipulation, it might not align with your values. Considering whether there are other opportunities within or outside the company where you feel more supported and respected could be an important step.

If staying in this environment is what you choose, focusing on your strengths, maintaining your professionalism, and seeking support from trusted colleagues can help you manage these challenges more effectively. You deserve to work in a place where your skills and contributions are recognized without needing to engage in toxic dynamics.

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |121 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Aug 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Career
I joined a large FMCG group company at their factory, and ran right into a boss who is clearly prejudiced against me. My boss is less educated, 'risen from the ranks' employee with over 10 years of service. and has good rapport with the directors. He has a team of sycophants, and that 'close' circle of people (my co workers), feel uneasy with me, with my higher qualifications, and a higher joining salary. Within that group they indulge in malpractices, commit mistakes, but no one reports. However, they are always picking me for smallest of issues. Boss even threatened to sack me at time of confirmation review. He never discusses any problems with me, and reports directly upstairs aa if building a case against me, bit by bit. Recently, I had a chance to speak to tge director, and reported these matters to him, about the bias. However, it was apparent that Director is likely to side with my boss because he is old employee, with larger clout etc. Under this circumstances, I am worried, that without any fault, without discussion of day to day issues, I am getting cornered to doom. How should I deal with it ?
Ans: Hi!!
I really really can empathise with you, having been in a similar situation a few years ago. Having a boss who is less educated than you is always very tough. They'll always consider you as a threat and hence this kind of behaviour towards you.

What I suggest to you is this ...check yourself and your attitude towards everyone in the office. Is your mannerism and demeanour that of superiority? Do you behave/appear like a threat? If "yes", then time to correct you body language and make efforts to show that you are a team player and become likable too.

Now that you are working with them and if you are still interested in working for this organisation and people, then these are my suggestions -
- first and foremost he is your boss, it is not simply that ppl say, "boss is always right"
- find out the reason for his prejudice, see if you can work on taking it away or on minimizing it
-you are the smart one here, find ways and means of befriending your team members, one at a time, showing your good side, help as many ppl as you can without any expectations. I have this belief that no human being is bad, just address their insecurities.
- never confront anyone in a group
- you are the junior, behave like one, don't be a sycophant, but be a team member
- you can always use words like 'can you pls guide me' etc, when you are addressing anyone who is older and more experienced than you
- don't bother about how others are working and what mistakes they are a making ,neither do you have control over them nor are you the one to decide the consequences of their mistakes. You be impeccable, give your 100%, be an asset to the company.
- when you make a mistake, say sorry, correct it and move on, without attaching anymore to it than the fact that you made a mistake and it needs to be corrected( this is essential for your peace of mind)
- your boss is here since 10 yrs, he has a good rapport with the directors, there must be something in him to learn and imbibe. Pls learn and imbibe, it'll be a great asset to you as you grow in your career
- be a team player, take it slow, it is always very tough to build rapport and gel with new teams, it takes time, thought, energy, efforts to become part of a group. Give yourself and others the time
- you have already reported it to the director, trust him help you out
- build harmonious relationships with everyone around
- protect yourself too, learn to speak up, stand up for the right issues but with due respect and the right language
Observe yourself and others, you'll surely find a way to connect and work in harmony. Try all the possible solutions I have suggested, give yourself 6 months to one year, if the situation improves with your good intention and efforts, stay in this job, else quit. No one should stay in a toxic work environment ever. But do try to make it work, you'll emerge stronger and smarter.

All the very best! Remember I am with you now!!

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |121 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
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Career
My manager is constantly manipulating his boss about me. Everyone in my team is aware that she is increasingly insecure about my success and feels threatened by me. She often gives incorrect and incomplete feedback due to which my manager feels that my manager is more efficient than I am. In the past, 4 people have quit or been foced to resign due to these politics. Should I also quit and move to another company or should I talk to the manager about this? Pls help
Ans: Hi!!

When I was working in the corporate world, the oft repeated quote was, "people don't leave the company ,they leave bad bosses".
Your manager's boss is your super boss, rt? Can't you go and speak to him directly and put your concerns across?
I am sure the HR must have noticed that people are quitting and might have explored the reasons why they are doing so too, do check with them.
I fail to understand why women should not cooperate with each other. You can also explore the option of talking directly to the manager and telling her if your actions in any way have caused some misunderstanding and if she says yes then you are willing to clear them. Also tell her that you are not eyeing her post and you are just trying to do your job well. I did the same with one of my bosses, it worked for me, we became the best of friends, we are still in touch. You need to think which is your best option and choose one from all the possible solutions I have mentioned. You can always quit, that's the last option I feel..

Hoping you choose wisely..All the very best!!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11185 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 25, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi, I am 43 yrs old, working as a Senior Delivery Manager in an IT company, CTC is 66lacs. My current investment in MF is 29Lacs, 11Lacs in ULIP insurance and 43Lacs in EPF and 25Lacs in Stocks. Current monthly investment I am doing 1.5lacs in MF, 42K in ULIP and 42K in EPF. I own 2 flats, 1 car, total pending principal amount is currently pending is 55 Lacs and monthly EMI I paid around 90K and all 3 EMI will run for next 7 yrs. My family is completely depending on me, including my wife(Home maker), my son 9yrs and my daughter 1 yr. What is your thoughts on my current investment plan, my liabilities? My monthly expenditure is around 1lacs including everything excluding EMI. I want to get my financial freedom soon so how much money I should have before I decide to get retired. Do I need to change anything on my investment plan? Any financial guidance from Gurus?
Ans: You are doing many things right. At 43, with a high income, disciplined investing habit, good EPF accumulation, decent MF corpus, and strong monthly savings capacity, you are already in a much stronger position than many families in your age group. Your commitment towards family security and wealth creation is clearly visible.

However, because your family is fully dependent on you and you have multiple liabilities running together, this is the stage where proper structuring becomes more important than just investing aggressively.

» Current Financial Position Assessment

– Your total financial assets are already meaningful:

Mutual Funds – Rs.29 lakhs
Stocks – Rs.25 lakhs
EPF – Rs.43 lakhs
ULIP – Rs.11 lakhs

– Total financial assets are around Rs.1+ crore range excluding property value.

– Your monthly investments are also very strong:

MF SIP – Rs.1.5 lakhs
EPF – Rs.42,000
ULIP – Rs.42,000

– Monthly savings discipline itself is excellent.

– Your income-to-expense ratio is healthy even after large EMIs.

This shows strong earning capability and disciplined cash flow management.

» Biggest Positive in Your Case

– Your age is still on your side.

– Your SIP amount is already large enough to create serious wealth over the next 10-15 years.

– Your EMI tenure is only another 7 years. Once loans close, your free cash flow can rise sharply.

– Your current lifestyle inflation looks controlled despite a high salary. That is a major strength.

– You are building assets while managing responsibilities together. That balance is appreciable.

» Area Which Needs Immediate Attention

Your biggest concentration risk is not investment risk.

It is “income dependency risk”.

Entire family depends on one income source.

You have:
– Home loans
– Young children
– Homemaker spouse
– Long responsibility runway

So your financial structure should focus strongly on:
– protection
– liquidity
– retirement independence
– reducing complexity

» About Your ULIP Investment

Your ULIP contribution of Rs.42,000 per month is quite high.

In many cases, ULIPs become less efficient because:
– insurance and investment are mixed together
– charges can reduce long-term efficiency
– flexibility is lower
– transparency is lower
– switching decisions become restricted
– returns may not justify long lock-in periods

Since you already have meaningful MF investing discipline, separating insurance and investment can improve efficiency.

If the ULIP has already crossed lock-in and surrender becomes financially practical, you may evaluate:
– reducing future allocation
– surrendering after detailed review
– redirecting future investments towards quality actively managed mutual funds

Actively managed mutual funds can offer:
– professional fund management
– downside management during market stress
– portfolio correction based on valuations
– flexibility across sectors and market caps

This becomes important for someone like you who cannot afford major capital destruction close to retirement goals.

» Why Active Funds May Suit You Better

You are in wealth-building stage, not passive accumulation stage alone.

Index investing has some limitations:
– no protection during market crashes
– full participation in overvalued sectors
– no valuation-based decision making
– no cash holding flexibility
– weak downside management
– blindly follows index composition

For high-income professionals with family dependency and large future goals, active allocation becomes more useful.

A good Certified Financial Planner along with a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor can help monitor:
– asset allocation
– taxation
– rebalancing
– market cycles
– risk reduction

That guidance itself adds long-term value.

» About Your Stock Portfolio

Direct stocks worth Rs.25 lakhs is acceptable only if:
– portfolio is diversified
– stock selection is research-based
– allocation is monitored
– emotional decisions are avoided

Otherwise, over time, excessive direct equity exposure can create concentration risk.

For senior IT professionals, career stability itself is linked to market cycles. So investment portfolio should not become too aggressive simultaneously.

You may slowly move towards:
– more structured mutual fund allocation
– lower stock concentration
– better diversification

» Your Loan Situation

Outstanding principal of Rs.55 lakhs is manageable considering:
– your income level
– high savings capacity
– remaining tenure only 7 years

This is not an alarming debt level.

However:
– avoid taking any fresh major loans
– avoid lifestyle upgrades through borrowing
– build stronger liquid reserves

Once EMIs close, your cash flow may improve by nearly Rs.90,000 monthly. That itself can accelerate financial freedom significantly.

» Emergency Fund Requirement

This is one area where many high earners underestimate risk.

You should maintain at least:
– 12 months of total household obligations

That includes:
– EMI
– household expenses
– school expenses
– insurance premiums

Considering your profile, emergency liquidity should be strong and easily accessible.

» Insurance Review

Since your family fully depends on you, adequate pure term insurance is very important.

You should review:
– whether existing life cover is sufficient
– whether family goals are fully protected
– whether liabilities are covered adequately

Also ensure:
– family floater health insurance is strong
– critical illness cover is available
– personal accident cover exists

Protection planning is extremely important for single-income families.

» How Much Corpus Needed for Financial Freedom

Your current family expenses:
– around Rs.1 lakh monthly excluding EMI

Future realities:
– children education inflation
– healthcare inflation
– lifestyle inflation
– retirement longevity

After including these, your long-term family requirement can become much larger than current expense levels suggest.

For someone with:
– young children
– dependent spouse
– high lifestyle responsibility
– long retirement horizon

Financial freedom generally requires a very substantial retirement corpus.

You should target a stage where:
– investment income alone can comfortably manage family expenses
– education goals are separately funded
– loans are fully closed
– medical contingencies are covered
– retirement income does not depend on salary

Considering your current savings pace, you are on a good path if:
– investments continue consistently
– income remains stable
– unnecessary liabilities are avoided
– asset allocation is improved

» Suggested Changes in Your Plan

– Continue strong MF SIPs
– Review ULIP continuation carefully
– Increase allocation towards actively managed diversified funds
– Reduce dependency on direct stocks gradually if concentration is high
– Build larger emergency corpus
– Avoid fresh liabilities
– Review term insurance adequacy
– Ensure goal-based investing for children
– Do periodic portfolio rebalancing
– Plan retirement corpus separately from children goals

» Finally

You are already in a financially progressive position. The next stage is not about investing more aggressively. It is about investing more intelligently and structurally.

Your income is strong today. If you combine that with:
– proper risk management
– disciplined investing
– controlled liabilities
– better portfolio structuring
– long-term consistency

then achieving financial freedom in your 50s is very much achievable.

The biggest wealth creators are not always the highest earners. They are the people who sustain disciplined investing for long periods while avoiding major mistakes. You are already showing many of those qualities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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