How to Deal with Toxic Colleagues Who Manipulate Management?

Ans: Dear A, I hear you. What still is unclear from what you have shared is what is it that you want clarity on from me?

Do you want to build a stronger mindset to deal with the situation?

Assuming (I have to assume here because, I don’t know how this is affecting you) that this is possibly keeping you on your toes as to what will be his next move, this maybe affecting your peace of mind; the only thing that I feel you can do is develop a strategy to checkmate him at every instance.

By now, you know his pattern of doing things and causing nuisance and then conveniently hiding things, it should give you an edge by simply predicting his next move and staying ahead in the game.

Most times, using the mind to strategize is more helpful rather than using it to obsess over why the other person is doing what he/she is doing.

We cannot ever control another person’s behaviour, but what we can do is reflect within and play the game smartly without creating a huge ruckus. In the end, based on my assumption, it's your peace of mind that you can be in no matter what happens outside you.

Based on the strategy through his patterned behaviour, it should give you a good head start before you embark on any project/meeting/presentation or whatever. You have experienced it and been in the midst of it all; now Observe and

Change what you do; without ever thinking that he is the one to change. He will at his own relevant time.

Spend your energies not on controlling him but on yourself and how you can plan, evaluate and execute. Focus on oneself can go a long way in changing things; personal pr professional.

(My answer is based on what little I could gather from your question)

Best wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You win some, you lose some! That's life and you know it...

You seem to hold onto certain principles that are robbing you of good work. One can maintain their self-respect even by actually giving into certain demands from the clients provided it reflects well in your balance sheet.
The question to ask is:
Am I being too rigid on my principles that it has begun to work against me?
What can I do to maintain my self-respect and yet gain the trust of the clients?

You have done work in one particular way and it has worked for you till the time, the clients chose you. When you know that business or work is slipping out of your hands, ask yourself these two questions and know that it is possible to get work without compromising and still maintaining professional ethics.

So, deep dive into yourself and shake any rigid belief that is standing in your path and soften the belief in a way that you manage to work around it and still keeping your principles intact. Alternate ways of thinking can set you free...

All the best!

Ans: Hi!!
I really really can empathise with you, having been in a similar situation a few years ago. Having a boss who is less educated than you is always very tough. They'll always consider you as a threat and hence this kind of behaviour towards you.

What I suggest to you is this ...check yourself and your attitude towards everyone in the office. Is your mannerism and demeanour that of superiority? Do you behave/appear like a threat? If "yes", then time to correct you body language and make efforts to show that you are a team player and become likable too.

Now that you are working with them and if you are still interested in working for this organisation and people, then these are my suggestions -
- first and foremost he is your boss, it is not simply that ppl say, "boss is always right"
- find out the reason for his prejudice, see if you can work on taking it away or on minimizing it
-you are the smart one here, find ways and means of befriending your team members, one at a time, showing your good side, help as many ppl as you can without any expectations. I have this belief that no human being is bad, just address their insecurities.
- never confront anyone in a group
- you are the junior, behave like one, don't be a sycophant, but be a team member
- you can always use words like 'can you pls guide me' etc, when you are addressing anyone who is older and more experienced than you
- don't bother about how others are working and what mistakes they are a making ,neither do you have control over them nor are you the one to decide the consequences of their mistakes. You be impeccable, give your 100%, be an asset to the company.
- when you make a mistake, say sorry, correct it and move on, without attaching anymore to it than the fact that you made a mistake and it needs to be corrected( this is essential for your peace of mind)
- your boss is here since 10 yrs, he has a good rapport with the directors, there must be something in him to learn and imbibe. Pls learn and imbibe, it'll be a great asset to you as you grow in your career
- be a team player, take it slow, it is always very tough to build rapport and gel with new teams, it takes time, thought, energy, efforts to become part of a group. Give yourself and others the time
- you have already reported it to the director, trust him help you out
- build harmonious relationships with everyone around
- protect yourself too, learn to speak up, stand up for the right issues but with due respect and the right language
Observe yourself and others, you'll surely find a way to connect and work in harmony. Try all the possible solutions I have suggested, give yourself 6 months to one year, if the situation improves with your good intention and efforts, stay in this job, else quit. No one should stay in a toxic work environment ever. But do try to make it work, you'll emerge stronger and smarter.

All the very best! Remember I am with you now!!

Ans: Hi!!

When I was working in the corporate world, the oft repeated quote was, "people don't leave the company ,they leave bad bosses".
Your manager's boss is your super boss, rt? Can't you go and speak to him directly and put your concerns across?
I am sure the HR must have noticed that people are quitting and might have explored the reasons why they are doing so too, do check with them.
I fail to understand why women should not cooperate with each other. You can also explore the option of talking directly to the manager and telling her if your actions in any way have caused some misunderstanding and if she says yes then you are willing to clear them. Also tell her that you are not eyeing her post and you are just trying to do your job well. I did the same with one of my bosses, it worked for me, we became the best of friends, we are still in touch. You need to think which is your best option and choose one from all the possible solutions I have mentioned. You can always quit, that's the last option I feel..

Hoping you choose wisely..All the very best!!