Home > Career > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on May 20, 2024

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career

I am software engineer aged 30 years. My manager is a sadist doesn't understand anything technically and always pester us on non essential things that doesn't matter at all in the work and deliverables. We are getting frustrated most of the times. Always blames others for his/her own mistakes. Always divides and rule the team. Always wants to go out and party even if there is lot of work and end of the day, asks for the work status. I do not want to leave the company but doesn't bare this manager at all. Please suggest what to do. I am at my low.

Ans: Hello!!
Most of us have had managers at some point in our careers, while some are helpful, compassionate, and capable, others may not meet these standards, clearly yours is not meeting the standards!! Dealing with challenging managers can be, well, a challenge. Be courageous and face the challenge, you are not a newbie you are a strong 30 yr old man.
When I worked in the corporate world, what I heard most of the times was that people don't leave a company, they leave bad bosses. Throughout your question you have always mentioned a "we", that means this bad boss is affecting many more people.
You have these options-
1. you all can send a signed petition about this boss, post this to the HR
2. nobody has to suffer at work, there will always be a way out, look for it
3. you be sincere in your work and deliver, develop a thick skin and don't allow this boss to affect you
3.if nothing works then quit, do whatever it takes to be peaceful at work

I am sure a smart 30 yr old software engineer like you "can" and "will" find a solution to this problem by choosing your options wisely and looking into what is important for you!

All the best!!
Career

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1792 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2021

Listen
Relationship
I'm working in a company for last 10 years and have been a consistent good performer. The management recognises it too. But in the last 2-3 years one person from Finance (same as my level) has been consistently interfering and keeps talking negative about my work. He makes my working as routine and not much significant to current output by constantly talking / pushing to management mentioning negatives of my doings. He is dominating the entire company and our management knows it but doesn't contradict him on face and keep avoiding issues when we talk of it. He controls all our efforts and denies execution / completion even if approved by CEO quoting himself as finance controller and approves for other things who doesn't object to him. On confrontation he avoids us and changes his stance - denies he ever did it. It is becoming very difficult to bear every day frustrations though I haven't allowed him any chance to say on my performance as every year we surpass targets with 10-15% higher achievement and collections front too we succeed efficiently. He is been responsible for legal matters and hasn't been effective of recovery of bad debts and smartly puts onus on others for default / losses. Pl advice me directly on mail only as I've many things to share but above should give you my mindset.
Ans: Dear A, I hear you. What still is unclear from what you have shared is what is it that you want clarity on from me?

Do you want to build a stronger mindset to deal with the situation?

Assuming (I have to assume here because, I don’t know how this is affecting you) that this is possibly keeping you on your toes as to what will be his next move, this maybe affecting your peace of mind; the only thing that I feel you can do is develop a strategy to checkmate him at every instance.

By now, you know his pattern of doing things and causing nuisance and then conveniently hiding things, it should give you an edge by simply predicting his next move and staying ahead in the game.

Most times, using the mind to strategize is more helpful rather than using it to obsess over why the other person is doing what he/she is doing.

We cannot ever control another person’s behaviour, but what we can do is reflect within and play the game smartly without creating a huge ruckus. In the end, based on my assumption, it's your peace of mind that you can be in no matter what happens outside you.

Based on the strategy through his patterned behaviour, it should give you a good head start before you embark on any project/meeting/presentation or whatever. You have experienced it and been in the midst of it all; now Observe and

Change what you do; without ever thinking that he is the one to change. He will at his own relevant time.

Spend your energies not on controlling him but on yourself and how you can plan, evaluate and execute. Focus on oneself can go a long way in changing things; personal pr professional.

(My answer is based on what little I could gather from your question)

Best wishes.

..Read more

Career

Career Coach  | Answer  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Feb 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
My manager is mentally harassing me. I work 14-16 hours a day. Even during weekends he calls to discuss work and says it's important and urgent. My family is very upset. I have tried to say no many times but he continues to behave in the same way. I can't quit until I find a better job. This job is important for my career. What should I do?
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this challenging situation. It's crucial to address workplace harassment and maintain a healthy work-life balance. Here are some steps you could consider:

1. Document Everything: Keep a record of the instances of harassment, including dates, times, what was said or done, and how it made you feel. Documentation can be helpful if you need to escalate the situation later.

2. Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries to your manager. Let them know that you're willing to work hard during regular working hours but that you need time off during evenings and weekends to rest and spend time with your family.

3. Use Assertive Communication: When your manager calls you during your off hours, politely remind them of the boundaries you've set and suggest scheduling a discussion during regular working hours unless it's genuinely urgent.

4. Seek Support: Talk to HR or another trusted superior about the situation. They may be able to intervene and provide support or mediation. If your company has an employee assistance program (EAP), consider reaching out to them for guidance.

5. Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with your company's policies on harassment and discrimination. If your manager's behavior constitutes harassment, you have the right to take action to stop it.

6. Consider Legal Options: If the harassment persists and affects your well-being or career prospects, you may need to consider legal action. Consult with an employment lawyer to understand your rights and options.

7. Explore Other Job Opportunities: Start actively looking for other job opportunities that align with your career goals and values. Having alternative options can provide you with more leverage in dealing with your current situation.

8. Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize self-care during this stressful time. Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, and lean on your support network for emotional support.

Remember that no job is worth sacrificing your mental health and well-being. It's essential to advocate for yourself and take steps to address the harassment you're experiencing.

..Read more

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
Listen
Career
My manager is constantly manipulating his boss about me. Everyone in my team is aware that she is increasingly insecure about my success and feels threatened by me. She often gives incorrect and incomplete feedback due to which my manager feels that my manager is more efficient than I am. In the past, 4 people have quit or been foced to resign due to these politics. Should I also quit and move to another company or should I talk to the manager about this? Pls help
Ans: Hi!!

When I was working in the corporate world, the oft repeated quote was, "people don't leave the company ,they leave bad bosses".
Your manager's boss is your super boss, rt? Can't you go and speak to him directly and put your concerns across?
I am sure the HR must have noticed that people are quitting and might have explored the reasons why they are doing so too, do check with them.
I fail to understand why women should not cooperate with each other. You can also explore the option of talking directly to the manager and telling her if your actions in any way have caused some misunderstanding and if she says yes then you are willing to clear them. Also tell her that you are not eyeing her post and you are just trying to do your job well. I did the same with one of my bosses, it worked for me, we became the best of friends, we are still in touch. You need to think which is your best option and choose one from all the possible solutions I have mentioned. You can always quit, that's the last option I feel..

Hoping you choose wisely..All the very best!!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11138 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Money
I'm an investor in India, 30% tax bracket under the new tax regime, with high risk tolerance. I am investing from 2017, invested amount is 22 lakhs, market value 25 lakhs. I have two financial goals — child's education (~7-year horizon) and retirement (~18-year horizon). Current SIP Portfolio I run a 5-fund core portfolio with a total SIP of ₹53,000/month. For the education goal, I have HDFC Nifty 50 Index Fund (₹5,000/month) and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap (₹15,000/month). For retirement, I have ICICI Nifty Next 50 Index (₹8,000/month), Motilal Oswal Midcap (₹15,000/month), and Nippon India Small Cap (₹10,000/month). Each fund is from a different AMC, which is a deliberate diversification choice. Other Investments I have a PPF account (opened 2015, ~₹10L corpus) maturing around 2030. I also hold NPS Tier 1 corpus which I plan to keep untouched until age 60 — I've stopped fresh NPS contributions since there's no additional deduction benefit under the new tax regime. What I'm Looking for advice on Is my current portfolio good for the long term and shall I continue the same Shall I take international exposure through navi nasdaq 100 FOF (Not taking due to tax complication) Shall I invest in gold for hedge Shall I stop my NPS Tier 1 SIP and reallocate 7k to my current portfolio, if yes then which funds I have two specific worries. First, Motilal Oswal Midcap had a fund manager change in July 2025 and runs a fairly concentrated portfolio at an elevated PE — I'm not sure if I should continue, reduce the SIP, or switch to another midcap fund. Second, Nippon India Small Cap has been closed for lumpsum investments since July 2023 due to its large AUM — I've been considering switching to Invesco India Small Cap (ranked #2/18 in the category, AUM ~₹9,700 Cr) but haven't acted on it yet. I'd like views on whether this switch makes sense and whether the timing matters or shall I continue in the same funds and folio. Would like the community's take on the above folio. Thanks.
Ans: You have built a thoughtful and disciplined portfolio since 2017. Managing two separate long-term goals with category allocation and SIP consistency shows strong planning maturity. Your SIP size, time horizon clarity, and asset diversification already place you ahead of many investors.

Let us review each part of your portfolio carefully and improve where required.

» Overall portfolio structure suitability for your two goals

Your goals:

– Child education (7-year horizon)
– Retirement (18-year horizon)

Your current structure separates these goals logically. This is a very good practice.

However one improvement is required.

Index category exposure is currently forming a meaningful portion of your education goal allocation. For a 7-year horizon, actively managed equity allocation generally works better than passive exposure because:

– index funds only mirror market returns
– they cannot reduce downside risk
– they cannot shift sectors when valuations are high
– they cannot select emerging growth companies early
– they cannot generate alpha during active market cycles

For a goal that is only 7 years away, downside protection and active allocation flexibility are important.

So replacing index category exposure gradually with flexi cap or large & midcap category exposure improves goal reliability.

» Suitability of your retirement portfolio allocation

Your retirement horizon is 18 years. This is ideal for:

– midcap category exposure
– small cap category exposure
– flexi cap category exposure

Your allocation toward growth categories supports wealth creation strongly.

So the structure for retirement is appropriate and can be continued with small refinements.

» Whether international exposure should be added

International diversification is useful but not mandatory.

Benefits:

– reduces India-only market risk
– provides exposure to global innovation sectors
– improves currency diversification

However concerns like taxation complexity and portfolio simplicity are valid.

Since your horizon is already supported by strong domestic diversification across market caps, international exposure may be added later gradually but is not essential immediately.

Priority should remain strengthening domestic active allocation first.

» Whether gold allocation should be added

Gold works as a stabiliser, not a return generator.

Gold helps:

– during equity corrections
– during inflation phases
– during global uncertainty periods

For long-term investors like you, allocation of 5% to 10% is sufficient.

It should not replace equity allocation but support it as a hedge layer.

» Whether stopping NPS Tier 1 SIP is a good decision

You mentioned no additional deduction benefit under new tax regime.

Still NPS Tier 1 has advantages:

– retirement discipline lock-in
– low-cost structure
– asset allocation flexibility
– additional pension-layer diversification

If retirement planning is already strong through mutual funds, redirecting the monthly amount into equity categories can improve flexibility.

If you reallocate that amount, better destinations are:

– flexi cap category fund
– large & midcap category fund

These improve balance inside your retirement bucket.

» Concern about midcap category fund manager change and concentration

Your observation is very practical and shows strong monitoring discipline.

Midcap category funds sometimes run concentrated portfolios. After a fund manager change:

– strategy continuity becomes uncertain
– stock selection pattern may change
– risk profile may shift temporarily

Instead of exiting immediately:

Better approach:

– continue SIP for now
– monitor performance for 6 to 12 months
– review portfolio churn pattern
– check consistency versus category average

Switch only if performance divergence becomes visible.

Immediate switching after manager change is usually not necessary.

» Concern about small cap category fund closure for lump sum investment

Closure for lump sum investment normally happens because:

– fund size becomes large
– liquidity management becomes difficult
– protection of existing investors becomes priority

This is not a negative signal.

It is actually a protection step taken by the fund house.

Switching to another small cap category fund only because of closure is not required.

However diversification across two small cap funds is sometimes useful if allocation size is high.

If small cap allocation already exceeds 10% to 15% of total portfolio, then avoid increasing exposure further.

Timing small cap switches rarely improves results.

Consistency matters more.

» Suggested refinements to improve goal achievement probability

Education goal bucket:

– gradually reduce index exposure
– increase flexi cap allocation
– add large & midcap category exposure
– shift partially toward hybrid allocation after 4 years remaining period

Retirement goal bucket:

– continue midcap allocation
– continue small cap allocation within limits
– increase flexi cap allocation gradually
– consider small gold allocation for hedge

NPS allocation decision:

– continue if discipline advantage required
or
– redirect toward flexi cap category fund if flexibility preferred

» Finally

Your portfolio structure is already strong and goal-aligned.

Only these improvements can increase success probability further:

– reduce index exposure in education goal bucket
– continue midcap exposure but monitor post manager-change consistency
– do not switch small cap fund only due to lump sum closure
– add small gold allocation as hedge
– optionally redirect NPS contribution into flexi cap or large & midcap category allocation for flexibility

With these refinements, your education and retirement goals remain well supported for long-term success.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |720 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
Relationship
Currently , I am in 2nd year of my clg , btech CCE in MUJ .... Studies are fine. After my breakup with my first bf( 3 years back) it really shook me of as I got to know he cheated on me and I wasted my precious time thinking about him though I have overcame from this .... So I met this guy online .... We are from same clg but diff department... Class are on the same floor so we met a few times but that was also an eye contact or simple hi hello .... We started talking from 2nd sem .... And in 2nd-3rd sem it felt like he liked me but I wasn't ready. And he never brought this topic it was simply friendly banter or thoda bahut flirting and now from the starting of 4th sem things have changed like in his behaviour, way he used to talk, holding the convos ..it's like he's cutting me.... though I talked about this and he cleared like it's nothing like that but yeah many things are changed .... We dont talk like we used to , he seems non interested, late replies ... And here as soon as I started liking him he got off ... I even gave him slight hints but now it feels like I am desperate to talk it is making me feel clingy distracted that I can't just stop thinking about it ... It's becoming a hindrance in my studies . .. I feel like whenever I start to like someone that other person gets off like he's not interested it has happened a many of times .. it makes me feels o dumb and stupid like do I even have something that the other person would like me or even just stop being non interested or giving mixed signals
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how you are feeling and it is very normal to question yourself when you notice the pattern more than one time. But trust me, it is not you. Sometimes people have fleeting feelings for each other. It can also be that since the guy did not feel you reciprocate the same feeling, he moved on to protect his heart. Or some people with casual feelings just lose interest as soon as the chase is over. The reason does not matter; what matters here is that it's not your fault. This clingy, distracted feeling will pass soon. This is not love; you just miss feeling important to someone and it's completely normal. Don't think of this as a loss. He was never the right person for you to begin with if he wants to cut you off suddenly. You deserve to be loved completely, not just when it's convenient for them.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |81 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I feel invisible in my own marriage. I’m 36 now, and we are married for 8 years with a beautiful daughter. My wife is a great mother, homemaker and manages everything at home, but we have nothing in common. We haven’t had a real conversation or emotional connection in years. Recently, I got emotionally attached to a senior female colleague who actually listened to me. We went out for coffee and there was an instant emotional connection. I don't feel guilty but I am confused. Is this how emotional affairs begin in long-term marriages? Is it wrong to choose a partner who you are emotionally compatible with?
Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health. Marriage is a long term association in which slowly and slowly we get to know about the positives and negatives of a person. We all have two sides. One is romantic and other is the one who handles all the responsibility. Isn't it good that your wife responsibly handles all the household chores along with your kids and takes care of your needs too. May be she is also lost somewhere and is burdened under all responsibilities. I understand that you may have problems and you may not feel the emotional connection between you too.
There are ways to sort out this. Find some common interest that you both enjoy and do such activities. You may talk with your wife at the end of the day and ask her about her day, you can share about your day. You can discuss your future plans.
In previous times extra marital affairs were very less. Because people used to work with each other and work on each other. They never used to give up on each other. That's why the relationships used to last for more than 50 years even.
You can talk to your colleague as a friend. Friends do listen to each other and have emotional connect but having more than that would not be advisable.
I hope you get some light in your mind.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1792 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I'm a 53 year old married man living with two sons. In 2020, my wife found that I am having an affair and left for her parent's place. We were never compatible and having children was her choice. I had told her before our marriage that I am not the husband she was hoping me to be. She chose to be a homemaker and insisted on having kids. Before marriage, I had also mentioned to her that I am seeing someone who was going through her own separation, but she said she wanted to marry me for her own freedom. Now she's living with her parents and we have no contact whatsover. We haven't spoken in all these years but she doesn't want to consent to divorce. I have singlehandedly taken care of my sons in these 6 years. She speaks to her sons when they are outside, and they told me she wants them to stay with me because she doesn't want to work or provide for them. I am okay to provide alimony but she doesn't want to sign the divorce papers. My lawyer has tried to speak with her but she wants to stay married so that I can suffer. What kind of punishment is this? What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What can you do about it? If she does not want a divorce and this is a vengeance thing for your affair, the only thing you can do is speak with her. All the stuff that went South needs to be addressed and YES, there will be a point in time where she will expect you apologize. Yes, you did mention to her about how you view marriage BUT you still went ahead and married and had had kids as well. As far as she is concerned, she always was in an ideal marriage while you had your definition for it and both of you lived the relationship in your own ways.
The best is to appeal to her better sense and hope that someday she will see that it is better to separate than stick together.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1792 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 20, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My parents are against my divorce. I am married for 17 years but we have been living as stranger for the past 7 years. We had an arranged marriage and we don't get along. Initially I thought it was because we had a 6 year age gap. But most days, it has been rough. No respect from in-laws, constant arguments and fighting. Husband wanted me to stay away for some time but I realised he is just finding grounds for divorce from my end. He doesn't want to give alimony and wants full custody of our 14 year old son. I have mortgaged my gold to buy this 3bhk house but he dismisses my contribution because the house is in his mother's name. She is still alive. My mental peace is destroyed. But i want to do the right thing for us and my son. Anu mam, do you think I should live separate and give up my rights to this house and my son? If he files for divorce will he have a better advantage than me? Please guide what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Whether you should make the marriage work or live separately is a decision that is yours to make; what I can suggest is to actually understand and become aware as to what you want in life.
If marriage was always an important thing, then maybe some work in that direction can help which means you may have to as a couple set aside differences and work as a unit to put the marriage back together. This also will require your husband to cooperate and view it as important as you do. So, have a conversation with him without it leading into an argument.
Now, if you choose to go separate how and what will be an advantage is something that only a lawyer will be able to guide you on.
So, as a first step become aware about whether you view marriage as an important structure in your life or not; the rest of the steps will follow from this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x