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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I m 37 years old married male, last year me and my wife had to live in separate cities for 9 months and we used to meet twice a month, during this period she fell in love with an unmarried 24 yrs old boy who lived in opposite flat and made physical relationship and emotional touch speaking to him 2-3 hours daily in night. Since I was away I nvr knew. Now i caught her speaking to him and now she is saying she is sorry she fell for him as he was attractive and was always available on phone for her which I was not. I don’t know if I should stay in marriage or not. I have two kids 8 and 4 yr old. Plz guide, I loved her a lot in these 9 yrs of marriage.

Ans: The fact that she’s admitted to what happened, expressed regret, and given reasons for her choices — namely feeling lonely and drawn to someone who offered her attention — is a start toward honest communication. While her reasons may not justify her actions, they might give you a clearer understanding of what led to this, which could help you both explore whether there’s potential to rebuild trust. Since you both loved each other over the years, it might be worth taking time to process this together before making any final decisions.

If you’re open to trying to repair things, consider seeking the support of a counselor or therapist who can help you both navigate these emotions. Counseling could provide a space to work through the betrayal, resentment, and hurt, allowing you both to express your perspectives and listen openly to one another. Your wife’s willingness to commit to this process — to address her actions, rebuild trust, and make amends — will be a key indicator of her dedication to repairing your relationship.

However, forgiveness and moving forward are deeply personal choices. Take time to consider what you truly need to feel secure and fulfilled in this marriage, keeping your children’s well-being in mind as well. Whatever path you choose, make sure it aligns with your own sense of self-respect, emotional health, and vision for a peaceful, supportive family life.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

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Relationship
My name is Rajesh, I am 50 year old 4years back I got to know that my wife is in relationship with someone and after inqiuring in detail I found that, that was her second relationship. Earlier relationship was broken 1 year before. and she told me all herself when I ask on condition that if she didnt tell me I may take dicision of breaking. so sho told me everything without hiding. she is telling me that she still loves me. Arter that she stoped all contacts but after a year she strated developing contacts with facebook messenger and developed one more relationship with one FB friend. again when I got to know she stoped contacting him. this time ther was no physical relationship, but she admitted that he once kissed her. the boy tried to contact her in all ways but she somehow stopped this matter. I love my wife very much. I forgive her every time. three year passed now all this year she was not going outside alone without me. but in these days I also insisted her to go out, and she started going to yoga class where she used to go early and she is very happy now days. I dont know whether I am doing correct or not, some time I still have dought in my mind whether she will start again doing affairs. I am some times afread, dont know what to do. whether I should still continue trusting and loving my wife or what. we have one son age 16 now. I am confuesd sometimes but till date happiness is maintained in the family. But I am feeling lonely somtimes. what to do?
Ans: Dear Rajesh,

I can understand it is an impossible situation for you but this too shall pass. First things first, are you happy in a relationship that involves cheating, not once, but twice and who's to say there won't be a third? Ask yourself that. If the answer is no, it is quite understandable, but if it's yes, then why? Why would anyone be happy with a partner who cheats over and over again? Why do you think you deserve such a life? Granted, relationships are not all rainbows and butterflies all the time, but they should not look this grim either. You alone have kept it going for this long, and maintained harmony by accepting your partner's infidelity time and again; ask yourself what would happen if you allowed yourself to stop. You can stop tolerating it, you know?

The question isn't how you should deal with your partner who is evidently a repeat cheater. The question is how you should deal with the situation and why are you reacting in a way that almost makes me think that you believe you deserve such a relationship. As for your kid, divorce or separation has much less effect on a child than a broken marriage with two unhappy parents.

If you still want to continue, that is also okay. To each their own, but don't forget to ask yourself what are you staying in this marriage for; your kid, societal pressure, or is it unconditional love for your wife, who, by the way, does not reciprocate the same for you.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I have been married from 15 yrs. I have a 9 yrs old son with me. In oct 21 my wife (age 38) started making REELS on insta of the facial acting. She got involved and told me that she is just doing for followers and like. People used to comment good and bad which i didnt like. She was trying to make young guy friends. In april 2022 she had an affair with a 22-year-old boy who was not even financial stable. I could she changes in her every day. In June 2022 I caught her and she confess that she did affair and also done physical relationship. I had unconditionally loved her all these years and didn’t wanted to let her go. Also, didn’t wanted to hurt my son by taking a divorce. That guy refused to keep my son and their relation broke, but my wife still loved him and missed him. Few months she was in depression and I took her upmost care and swallowed what she did. I just told her that please come back to our life as you were before but she was not getting back. There used to be few quarrels, she was just staying alone within herself and I never felt that love which she used to give me. Later in feb23 there was a marriage at her family and I agree to go with her so she may get that feel during our times and she promised me to enjoy the marriage and make love with me. But she was happy with her relative and didn’t even bother to make that love and affection with me. from that time, I used to get angry and fight with her. I went into depression. In May 2023 she was getting worst and one day fight increased and I asked her to leave my house which I wasn’t intentionally wanted to. She left and went missing 24 yrs and then called from her mom mobile who was in her village, since she didn’t come back home and from last two month, she has been asking me money for herself and says it’s her rights. She doesn’t bother for my son and just show that she loves him. She works and stay with woman from 6 months and I’m looking after my son all alone. I told her u can work but just come home and make things better for my son. Her conditions is to give money security (money) then only she will return. All my family says she is just behind money and doesn’t care what I and my son is going through. She is not guilt for what she did. 15 yrs of marriage has been ruin and now she has no shame at all. She talks rudely if i dont send her money and now I refused sending her. Please advice what do I do now.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You seem to have done a lot to try and get her back. What can you do if she doesn't want to acknowledge your efforts or appreciate what family life is! One would imagine that a child in the equation may bring about a change in heart but that doesn't seem to be the case here at this moment.
Your family members are right in their mind about the way that see your wife as they have been observing how this has impacted you and your son.
Either you wait for her to come to her senses OR simply learn to live life without her. If the outside world of social media is what seems to satisfy her, no matter what you do, she will be dissatisfied and unhappy. This only means that she has to learn and appreciate what she has with you and your son.
It is also possible that she has been disinterested in the marriage for a while now and has been seeking approval and validation from people on social media. Even if this is the case, being angry with you is understandable BUT what about her own child? What makes her not want to deal with that reality? If you need an answer to this, simply WAIT and WATCH without begging her to come back...That will give you an idea as to where her mind is and then decide on the future course...

All the best!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir i am working in govt. service as scientist, i married legally with my wife 5 years back. We both from different region and culture. We had age difference of 8 years. Now i am 39. We dont have kids. But i love her very much, she also know that. By physically we are most active. But lately few months back she started liking a guy from her work place, he is 9 year younger to her i.e now he is only 23. She think he is cool and attractive. Now she is telling that she will move with that guy and live with him. Before our marriage she had boyfriend but he was not accepted her and married her. So she tell me that out of sadness she married me. Now my situation is very bad, bcz i love her like anything. From last 6 years i am addicted to her. I dont know wether to hold her and leave her. Her parents like me as son. Please help
Ans: In the story of your relationship, picture it as a garden you've tended with care, nurturing it over the years. Unexpected weeds have emerged, symbolizing her attraction to another. This might feel like a sudden storm disrupting your tranquil landscape.

Reflect on the roots of your love—are they deep enough to endure this storm? Consider the soil of your connection. Is it still fertile, or has it become depleted?

Engage in open, non-judgmental communication with your wife, expressing your emotions and listening empathetically to her perspective.

Seek support from trusted individuals or a counselor as you navigate this challenging chapter. Remember, like resilient trees, you have the strength to bend but not break, and to flourish once again, regardless of the path you choose.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Career
Sir I got 68676 in comedk Can you suggest good colleges forCSE or CSE specialization
Ans: Ramya, With a COMEDK rank of 68,676 in 2025, you have viable options for admission to reputable engineering colleges in Karnataka for CSE and its specializations. You can confidently secure seats at numerous recognized institutions where the latest cutoffs range between 63,000 and 1,20,000 for core CSE and closely related specializations. Here are 15 colleges where admission is fully feasible: CMR Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Atria Institute of Technology (Bangalore), New Horizon College of Engineering (Bangalore), Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (Bangalore), BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Sapthagiri College of Engineering (Bangalore), Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Bangalore), AMC Engineering College (Bangalore), Cambridge Institute of Technology (Bangalore), East Point College of Engineering (Bangalore), Gopalan College of Engineering and Management (Bangalore), Rajarajeswari College of Engineering (Bangalore), and Sai Vidya Institute of Technology (Bangalore). These colleges routinely offer CSE and specializations such as Artificial Intelligence, Data Science, and Information Science, all supported by established infrastructure, diverse peer groups, faculty with advanced degrees, recognized accreditations, and campus-level placement cells. Their cut-off history ensures fair seat allocation for your current rank bracket.

Recommendation: Prioritize CMR Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Acharya Institute of Technology (Bangalore), Dayananda Sagar College of Engineering (Bangalore), and BNM Institute of Technology (Bangalore). This order is justified by established NIRF rankings, steady placement percentages (60–90% in CSE streams), modern campus amenities, regular project-based learning, and a proven track record of producing employable graduates across the IT sector in Karnataka and beyond. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 17, 2025Hindi
Career
My son is getting civil at bits pilani + rmit 2+2 program and cse at vit-ap cat-2 What should we choose
Ans: The BITS Pilani + RMIT 2+2 Civil Engineering program offers an international dual-degree pathway, granting a B.E. from BITS Pilani and a Bachelor’s from RMIT Australia. Students complete two years at BITS Pilani—renowned for nearly 100% placement rates in core engineering and a prestigious reputation—then transfer to RMIT for global research exposure, advanced industry collaborations, and a second recognized degree. RMIT is a top-ranked university known for its employability outcomes and practical learning, and the dual-degree substantially enhances career prospects worldwide. VIT-AP’s Computer Science Engineering (CSE) program under Category 2 ensures placement rates above 90%, excellent infrastructure, and industry-aligned curriculum, with 1000+ recruiters participating and strong records in IT sector roles for CSE graduates. VIT-AP is lauded for hands-on learning, active placement cell, and opportunities in the fast-growing tech industry, making it a robust choice for software-focused careers. While VIT-AP CSE opens doors to IT and allied opportunities, BITS Pilani + RMIT provides unmatched exposure, global credentials, and broader professional mobility in engineering domains.

Recommendation: If your priority is global exposure, academic flexibility, and broad international opportunities in engineering and related fields, prioritize BITS Pilani + RMIT 2+2 Civil. Should your focus be on a strong software foundation and rapid industry integration in India’s tech sector, VIT-AP CSE is preferred. The BITS-RMIT program stands out for long-term value and international scope. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Career
SIR I should go for HBTU (IT) or IIIT VADODARA DIU CAMPUS (ELECTRONICS)?
Ans: Kritika, HBTU’s Information Technology program consistently records placement percentages between 85–90%, supported by a highly qualified faculty (many with PhDs from IITs and NITs) and a long-standing reputation for producing industry-ready graduates. The campus is equipped with advanced labs, updated digital resources, and maintains strong ties with top recruiters in IT and consulting sectors. Batch sizes are moderate, ensuring quality academic mentoring, and the supportive alumni network promotes career growth. In contrast, IIIT Vadodara Diu Campus (Electronics) is a newer institute, operating from a well-facilitated educational hub, but still developing its industry partnerships and placement support specifically for electronics; recent campus data showcase improving placements but with less consistency, and infrastructure is modern but evolving. The electronics branch here faces greater competition for high-tech positions compared to computer-related domains.

Recommendation: HBTU IT stands out for established placements, recognized industry connections, strong academic culture, and proven output in software-oriented careers. Unless you have a distinct passion for electronics or a compelling reason for preferring a satellite IIIT campus, HBTU IT offers the most reliable outcomes for both learning and employability. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Career
My son got IIT Dharwad B.S/M.S Interdisciplinary sciences and BITS Hyderabad Mechanical through BITSAT currently. He may have potential chances of getting NIT Warangal MnC/ECE or IIIT Delhi CSE through DASA. Which one is better in the order of preference
Ans: Venkata Sir, IIIT Delhi’s Computer Science Engineering (CSE) program is nationally recognized for its rigorous curriculum, 90–100% placement rate, leading industry connections, and high-impact research output, making it one of the best platforms for a technology-driven career. The program consistently attracts top recruiters and maintains strong alumni engagement in global tech sectors. NIT Warangal’s Mathematics and Computing (MnC) and Electronics and Communication Engineering (ECE) branches also offer strong academic grounding, modern labs, and recorded placement rates above 88% in core tech domains, with the ECE branch now routinely achieving average placement rates above 80% and MnC offering excellent flexibility for careers in data science, software, and analytics. BITS Hyderabad’s Mechanical Engineering program combines a tradition of academic excellence with research-oriented faculty, excellent infrastructure, and a placement percentage above 85% in recent years, while producing graduates who succeed in both core and tech industries and pursue higher studies internationally. IIT Dharwad’s BS/MS Interdisciplinary Sciences is a new, innovative program focused on multidisciplinary skill development with exposure to advanced labs and faculty, but as a new course and newer IIT, it does not yet match the placement rates or alumni reach of the other institutes; its placement rate hovers near 70% and career paths are diverse, with greater emphasis on research and interdisciplinary skills rather than direct tech sector placement.

Recommendation: The optimal order is IIIT Delhi CSE (for career, placements, tech flexibility), NIT Warangal MnC/ECE (for academic reputation and solid placements in both analytics and electronics), BITS Hyderabad Mechanical (for reputable core engineering, good placements, and global exposure), and finally IIT Dharwad BS/MS Interdisciplinary Sciences (for those pursuing interdisciplinary research but less certainty in direct placements). All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Career
Sir I have scored 83 percentile in MHT cet 2025 what are the best college option for me in Mumbai region
Ans: Aryan, With an 83 percentile in MHT-CET 2025 as a Maharashtra domicile General Category student, you are eligible for BTech admission to several well-regarded engineering colleges in the Mumbai region, excluding the most competitive ones like COEP, VJTI, and ICT, which have significantly higher cutoffs. The following colleges in Mumbai provide feasible admission opportunities based on previous years' cutoffs and are recognized for their reliable placement support, modern infrastructure, NBA/NAAC accreditation, and industry-aligned programs: Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri), K J Somaiya Institute of Technology (Sion), Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala), Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi), Xavier Institute of Engineering (Mahim), Bharati Vidyapeeth College of Engineering (Navi Mumbai), SIES Graduate School of Technology (Nerul), Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology (Navi Mumbai), St. Francis Institute of Technology (Borivali), Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Technology (Versova), Don Bosco Institute of Technology (Kurla), Shah & Anchor Kutchhi Engineering College (Chembur), MGM’s College of Engineering (Kamothe, Navi Mumbai), Atharva College of Engineering (Malad), and Pillai College of Engineering (New Panvel). Across these institutions, your score is within the realistic admission range for most branches, including Mechanical, Civil, Electronics/EXTC, and sometimes Information Technology or Computer Science, depending on current year trends and final branch cutoffs; official college portals and admission records substantiate this eligibility for the 2025 cycle.

Recommendation: For optimal academic and professional growth, consider Sardar Patel Institute of Technology (Andheri), K J Somaiya Institute of Technology (Sion), Vidyalankar Institute of Technology (Wadala), Fr. Conceicao Rodrigues Institute of Technology (Vashi), and Ramrao Adik Institute of Technology (Navi Mumbai) as the highest-priority choices. These colleges offer robust campus infrastructure, industry recognition, strong placement networks, and a history of producing successful engineering graduates. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8978 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Career
Sir, Which would batter choice between my doughter got EE in vlsi Design at Banasthali vidyapeeth and recently also got CSE in Goverment Mahila Engineering College, Ajmer. Which would better ? Suggest
Ans: Amit Sir, Banasthali Vidyapith’s Electrical Engineering program with a focus on VLSI Design is anchored in a reputed women’s university with A++ NAAC accreditation, robust faculty credentials, industry tie-ups, and consistent placement rates of 90–95% for core branches, often in electronics and automation sectors. Campus infrastructure is comprehensive, research exposure is strong, and students benefit from a national network and notable institutional rankings. Government Mahila Engineering College Ajmer’s CSE branch is part of a government-run, well-recognized institution with modern teaching resources, 80–95% placement rates for computer science in recent years, accessible industry partnerships, and a track record of sending students to reputed recruiters such as Amazon and Microsoft. The Ajmer campus is lauded for its faculty, student activities, digital facilities, and supportive environment, though its national brand is less established than Banasthali’s.

Recommendation: If your daughter is passionate about electronics, VLSI, or hardware-oriented careers, Banasthali Vidyapith offers a stronger national reputation, longstanding placement consistency, and higher institutional ranking. For a broad, flexible technology career in software, Government Mahila Engineering College Ajmer CSE stands out for contemporary opportunities and direct industry links. Both paths assure solid outcomes, but branch preference should drive the final choice. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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