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Love Guru

Love Guru   |213 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 14, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Sep 14, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
One of my colleagues is married and so am I. He knows that. He made a pass at me at work. Nothing terribly bad. Should I inform HR?

Ans:

That is entirely up to you; if you are feeling uncomfortable or harassed, then you certainly should report it.

Since you're saying, however, that it was ‘nothing terribly bad’, you could just warn him off and make it clear that you're not interested and don't appreciate his making passes at you because you're married and he's a colleague.

If he gets the message, great; if not, then you can report him at a later instance.

Take a call.

 

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |592 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am married working women .supportive hubby & my lovely children complete my family . I have been feeling intense infatuation with one of my married collegue.he used to help me a lot in office related issues. He used to complement me a lot for very normal things in front of others, not for looks but my working & way oc handling things. I was uneasy about that initially but started enjoying the attention later. But I dont know when I started liking him & Always wanted to be around ...He is younger to me and I am fully aware that nothing can happen between us. Than one day He bypassed me and for his own fault at work , he manipulated things and asked a favor for me from our team leader showing he is helping me...While in same situation when he was wrong I once sorted things on my own and did not make conplaint to team leader. Now i am feeling cheated and while working I have to see him everyday. What to do? How to remain and look normal. I feel weak in front of him and I dont want to keep any relation with him. But I still feel good & comfortable when he is around. its so weird.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation. It's not uncommon for people who have been married for a long time to feel this way. It mostly happens because the marriage is now part of your routine while your colleague seems like a breath of fresh air. But as you yourself mentioned, it is nothing but mere infatuation.

Do not beat yourself up for it. It will pass as all infatuations do. I suggest establishing some boundaries so that, even unintentionally, you do not cross them. Maintain a professional demeanor. But most importantly, take some time to reflect on what is missing from your marriage that led you to develop feelings for someone else. A loving and healthy marriage would keep you emotionally fulfilled enough to never look for happiness outside of it. Lastly, remind yourself why you fell in love with your husband and remember that love and commitment are not based on a mere choice; it is a conscious decision you make every day.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |597 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi! I want to declutter my mind . Please help me. I am a working married women. One of married collegue in office started appreciating me and i took notice of him. Initially I felt it awkward but later I started enjoying the attention. It went in and I started feeling good. I started to give more time to myself to look good. Then that person is very handsome, and uses slangs that are not appropriate in office. I overlooked everything as he became my favorite. I even overlooked his mistakes. He started coming late , going early also. He helped me in my office work a lot. I felt very comfortable in his company. He was like work spouse for me. He became a habit for me. Than one day there came a situation, one should take responsibility for the wrong decision in office.it was his call and he could have avoided it being reported to my seniors as I helped him previously for same situation but he reported. I still had feelings for him. Now I felt bad. But it was ok. Than one or two times he accidentally touched me , It was not acceptable to me as if I am being taken for granted.i even don't know if it was intentional ... Some other junior also tried to outsmart me. Than I went to my senior and asked the solution for smooth Functioning in office and asked office to sensitize employees for appropriate behaviour. Now that person has for whom I still have crush , took it personally and stopped talking to me properly. Where was I wrong , also I took this step as reminder of sexual harrasment to avoid any further advancement of touching and all . The problem is I still like him and it's a void I am feeling and I feel I miss that happy vibe in office. Things are not normal. I am stressed ...I know I did nothing wrong. How to calm myself and stop longing for him when I see him everyday. I feel like I should talk to him to behave normally but can not do that. What should I do. I am ok when I don't see him but I feel bad when he is talking with others normally . he used to be coordinating with me for all office things but now he does not do that.he does with other. He used to wish me on festival.he stopped doing that too. I really feel bad. Please help me with my thought process.
Ans: It seems like you've been through a challenging situation at work, and it's completely normal to have mixed feelings and experience stress in such circumstances. It's important to address your feelings and find a way to navigate this situation in a healthy manner. Here are some steps you can consider:

Reflect on the situation: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and the events that have transpired. Consider why you started to enjoy the attention and what it meant to you. Understand that it's natural to develop feelings for someone when you spend a lot of time together.
Maintain professional boundaries: It's crucial to maintain professional boundaries at the workplace. While it's okay to have friendly relationships with colleagues, it's important not to cross the line into unprofessional behavior. Recognize the importance of professionalism and how it can impact your work environment.
Focus on self-improvement: Instead of seeking validation or attention from your coworker, channel your energy into self-improvement. Continue taking care of yourself and striving for personal and professional growth.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings and concerns. They can provide emotional support and an outside perspective on the situation. Venting to someone you trust can help relieve some of your stress.
Speak to a manager or HR: It's commendable that you took the step to approach your senior about the need for sensitivity in the workplace. Continue to communicate your concerns about inappropriate behavior, whether it's from your coworker or anyone else in the office, to your HR department or a higher-up. They should be able to address these issues appropriately.
Accept that people change: It's possible that your coworker's behavior changed after you raised the issue with your senior. People's actions can be influenced by various factors, and it's essential to accept that he might have his reasons for acting differently.
Create a support network: Build strong relationships with other colleagues who share your values and provide a positive work environment. This can help reduce the impact of missing the interactions with your previous work spouse.
Manage your expectations: Understand that things might not go back to the way they were before. Colleagues change, and your coworker may have chosen to distance himself for personal or professional reasons.
Focus on your well-being: Prioritize self-care, both physically and mentally. Engage in activities that make you happy and help reduce stress. A healthy work-life balance can greatly improve your overall mood and well-being.
Seek professional help if necessary: If your stress and emotional struggles persist, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support for your emotional well-being.
Remember, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health. It may take time to adjust to the changes in your workplace dynamics, but with the right approach and support, you can find a way to navigate this situation and move forward positively.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8598 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 29, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2025
Money
Hi I am 52 years old IT professional, and planning to retire by 56-57. In next 5 year I will accumulate 1 Cr each in PF and PPF , Have stocks worth 2 Cr. And I am sure it will become least 2.53 Cr. FDs worth 70 Lakhs and post office investment of 40+ lakhs. I will also get 40 lakhs from gratuity and superannuation. Please suggest how I should invest so that I will get steady income.. Other than my two sons marriage I will not have any liability Please note I don't trust Mutual funds so please don't suggest SWP, SIP..
Ans: Your preparation so far is strong. With a clear retirement age target, minimal liabilities, and good asset mix, your foundation is solid. Let us now build a secure and income-generating retirement plan for you.

Below is a complete and personalised strategy.



Your Retirement Readiness Assessment

You plan to retire by 56 or 57. You are currently 52. That gives 4 to 5 years.



Retirement corpus will include:



 – Rs. 1 crore in PF
 – Rs. 1 crore in PPF
 – Rs. 2.53 crore in stocks
 – Rs. 70 lakhs in fixed deposits
 – Rs. 40+ lakhs in post office schemes
 – Rs. 40 lakhs from gratuity and superannuation



Your post-retirement lifestyle needs to be carefully calculated. Life expectancy planning should go till age 85 at least.



Your corpus is expected to be around Rs. 6 to 6.5 crore in five years. This is strong.



Two major expenses ahead are your sons’ marriages. These can be met through a planned drawdown.



You have clearly avoided mutual funds. So, we will exclude them. We will build income using other regulated options.



Your Emergency Liquidity Plan

Emergency fund should always be available in safe and quick-access options.



Keep Rs. 15 lakhs in a laddered fixed deposit structure.



Split this into three parts maturing every 3 to 6 months.



This will help if any unexpected medical or family need arises.



FD ladder also reduces reinvestment risk. It provides better liquidity flow.



Do not invest emergency fund in long-term or risky assets.



Retirement Income Portfolio Construction

Let us focus on creating stable monthly or quarterly income from different asset classes.



This should come with minimum risk. Also, inflation should not reduce the value over time.



Split retirement corpus into three buckets:



 Bucket 1 – Safety and Liquidity (2 to 3 years income)
 – Rs. 40 to 50 lakhs in senior citizen savings scheme and post office MIS
 – These provide steady monthly or quarterly income
 – Use your gratuity and superannuation lump sum here
 – You can also consider tax-free bonds if available in the secondary market



 Bucket 2 – Medium-Term Income (4 to 10 years income)
 – Rs. 1 crore in corporate fixed deposits and bank deposits
 – Ensure these are from high-rated institutions only
 – Choose monthly or quarterly interest payout options
 – Ladder the deposits for 3 to 5 year maturities
 – Taxation should be managed through 15H or by splitting under family members if possible



 Bucket 3 – Long-Term Growth and Backup (10+ years)
 – Rs. 1 crore in PPF and PF will remain safe and tax-free
 – Use interest from these accounts later in retirement
 – Keep some part in safe dividend-paying stocks
 – Choose mature, stable companies with 10+ year dividend history



 – Reinvest dividends into bank deposits if not needed now
 – Keep part of your stock portfolio intact to beat inflation
 – But avoid aggressive stocks or sector-based stocks



 – Keep a rebalancing rule every 3 years to shift excess profits to deposits



Income Streams Planning

You need regular income from age 57 to 85 or beyond.



Monthly expenses need to be estimated accurately.



Estimate cost of living at today’s value and account for inflation.



Let us say you need Rs. 1.25 lakhs per month now.



Your PF, PPF, FDs, MIS, SCSS, stock dividends can jointly support this.



Interest from SCSS, MIS, and FDs will form your early retirement income base.



Later, start using your PF, PPF maturity and stock profits.



Withdraw PF and PPF only after 65 or later, if possible.



This structure will ensure you never run out of money.



Insurance and Risk Coverage

At 52, health insurance is extremely important.



Please keep Rs. 25 to 50 lakhs individual health policy for yourself and spouse.



Check if super top-up plans are available to expand your cover.



Renew policies every year without gap. Choose lifelong renewability.



Keep Rs. 10 lakhs medical buffer in bank if you prefer not depending on insurer.



Term insurance is optional at this stage if your dependents are financially secure.



Since you are already financially independent, you may skip term cover.



Gold and Physical Assets

Your current plan includes buying 20 gm gold every year.



While gold offers value preservation, it does not provide income.



Keep gold allocation below 10% of total wealth.



Focus more on income-generating assets like SCSS, FDs, dividend stocks.



If needed, sell part of gold for children’s marriages. Use it only for real needs.



Tax Management in Retirement

Plan withdrawals in a tax-efficient way.



SCSS, MIS, FDs – interest is taxable. Spread across family accounts.



PF and PPF – completely tax-free.



Dividends from stocks are taxable as per your slab.



Keep annual tax-free limit in mind – Rs. 2.5 lakhs basic exemption (plus 1.5 lakh for senior citizens above 60).



Split investments in spouse’s name to save tax legally.



Track your Form 26AS and AIS for interest and dividend records.



File ITR every year without fail to maintain tax history.



Asset Protection and Nomination

Assign nominees for every investment and bank account.



Update EPF, PPF, stocks, FD and PO account nominations.



Write a will if your asset size is large.



Will should mention names of family members and asset distribution.



You can also explore joint holding to simplify post-retirement access.



Keep one asset register updated every six months.



Other Useful Points for Financial Peace

Sons’ marriage fund should be kept in short-term deposits or bonds.



Do not disturb your long-term assets for short-term expenses.



Avoid loans post-retirement. Stay debt free.



Track inflation every year and review income need accordingly.



Do a full review every 2 years with a certified financial planner.



Maintain lifestyle within income. Do not overspend on lifestyle upgrades.



Prefer spending from interest. Avoid touching principal till absolutely needed.



Keep mental peace by building a system-based financial plan.



Finally

You are already ahead in your retirement journey. Assets are in place. You need a structure now.

You want to avoid mutual funds, and that’s fine. The above strategy uses only deposits, PFs, stocks, and post office tools.

This gives you inflation protection, steady income, and safety.

Rebalancing every 3 years will help you stay aligned.

Please implement it step by step, not in one go. Stay in control always.

Live simply, spend wisely, and let your money work peacefully.



Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Aasif Ahmed Khan

Aasif Ahmed Khan   |170 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Career Expert - Answered on May 29, 2025

Career
Sir during our 4 years of engineering how can we develop our skills which are required for placements and future. Since AI Is developing day by day and is replacing humans which is reason for many people losing their jobs and in future very less number of jobs. Could you please tell how can we develop our skills both dependent on college and independent on the engineering college in which we are studying
Ans: Skills to be Developed in College:
Strong Fundamentals: Master core subjects like programming (Python, Java, C++), data structures, algorithms, mathematics, and engineering principles.
Project-Based Learning: Take advantage of labs and project work—real-world applications will deepen your understanding and showcase your skills to recruiters.
Internships & Industry Exposure: Apply for internships, research opportunities, or collaborations with companies to gain practical experience.
Communication & Soft Skills: Being able to explain complex ideas clearly, work in teams, and present your ideas is crucial.
Campus Placements & Networking: Participate in career fairs, company recruitment drives, and workshops to get early exposure to employers.
Stay Updated on Technology: Follow trends in AI, cloud computing, cybersecurity, and blockchain. Sites like Coursera, Udemy, and edX offer great courses.
Develop Problem-Solving Skills: Participate in hackathons, coding competitions, and open-source projects. Websites like LeetCode, CodeChef, and HackerRank help sharpen problem-solving.
Build a Strong Portfolio: Work on independent projects, contribute to GitHub repositories, or develop apps and websites to showcase your work.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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