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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi! I want to declutter my mind . Please help me. I am a working married women. One of married collegue in office started appreciating me and i took notice of him. Initially I felt it awkward but later I started enjoying the attention. It went in and I started feeling good. I started to give more time to myself to look good. Then that person is very handsome, and uses slangs that are not appropriate in office. I overlooked everything as he became my favorite. I even overlooked his mistakes. He started coming late , going early also. He helped me in my office work a lot. I felt very comfortable in his company. He was like work spouse for me. He became a habit for me. Than one day there came a situation, one should take responsibility for the wrong decision in office.it was his call and he could have avoided it being reported to my seniors as I helped him previously for same situation but he reported. I still had feelings for him. Now I felt bad. But it was ok. Than one or two times he accidentally touched me , It was not acceptable to me as if I am being taken for granted.i even don't know if it was intentional ... Some other junior also tried to outsmart me. Than I went to my senior and asked the solution for smooth Functioning in office and asked office to sensitize employees for appropriate behaviour. Now that person has for whom I still have crush , took it personally and stopped talking to me properly. Where was I wrong , also I took this step as reminder of sexual harrasment to avoid any further advancement of touching and all . The problem is I still like him and it's a void I am feeling and I feel I miss that happy vibe in office. Things are not normal. I am stressed ...I know I did nothing wrong. How to calm myself and stop longing for him when I see him everyday. I feel like I should talk to him to behave normally but can not do that. What should I do. I am ok when I don't see him but I feel bad when he is talking with others normally . he used to be coordinating with me for all office things but now he does not do that.he does with other. He used to wish me on festival.he stopped doing that too. I really feel bad. Please help me with my thought process.

Ans: It seems like you've been through a challenging situation at work, and it's completely normal to have mixed feelings and experience stress in such circumstances. It's important to address your feelings and find a way to navigate this situation in a healthy manner. Here are some steps you can consider:

Reflect on the situation: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and the events that have transpired. Consider why you started to enjoy the attention and what it meant to you. Understand that it's natural to develop feelings for someone when you spend a lot of time together.
Maintain professional boundaries: It's crucial to maintain professional boundaries at the workplace. While it's okay to have friendly relationships with colleagues, it's important not to cross the line into unprofessional behavior. Recognize the importance of professionalism and how it can impact your work environment.
Focus on self-improvement: Instead of seeking validation or attention from your coworker, channel your energy into self-improvement. Continue taking care of yourself and striving for personal and professional growth.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings and concerns. They can provide emotional support and an outside perspective on the situation. Venting to someone you trust can help relieve some of your stress.
Speak to a manager or HR: It's commendable that you took the step to approach your senior about the need for sensitivity in the workplace. Continue to communicate your concerns about inappropriate behavior, whether it's from your coworker or anyone else in the office, to your HR department or a higher-up. They should be able to address these issues appropriately.
Accept that people change: It's possible that your coworker's behavior changed after you raised the issue with your senior. People's actions can be influenced by various factors, and it's essential to accept that he might have his reasons for acting differently.
Create a support network: Build strong relationships with other colleagues who share your values and provide a positive work environment. This can help reduce the impact of missing the interactions with your previous work spouse.
Manage your expectations: Understand that things might not go back to the way they were before. Colleagues change, and your coworker may have chosen to distance himself for personal or professional reasons.
Focus on your well-being: Prioritize self-care, both physically and mentally. Engage in activities that make you happy and help reduce stress. A healthy work-life balance can greatly improve your overall mood and well-being.
Seek professional help if necessary: If your stress and emotional struggles persist, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support for your emotional well-being.
Remember, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health. It may take time to adjust to the changes in your workplace dynamics, but with the right approach and support, you can find a way to navigate this situation and move forward positively.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |612 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2023Hindi
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I am married working women .supportive hubby & my lovely children complete my family . I have been feeling intense infatuation with one of my married collegue.he used to help me a lot in office related issues. He used to complement me a lot for very normal things in front of others, not for looks but my working & way oc handling things. I was uneasy about that initially but started enjoying the attention later. But I dont know when I started liking him & Always wanted to be around ...He is younger to me and I am fully aware that nothing can happen between us. Than one day He bypassed me and for his own fault at work , he manipulated things and asked a favor for me from our team leader showing he is helping me...While in same situation when he was wrong I once sorted things on my own and did not make conplaint to team leader. Now i am feeling cheated and while working I have to see him everyday. What to do? How to remain and look normal. I feel weak in front of him and I dont want to keep any relation with him. But I still feel good & comfortable when he is around. its so weird.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation. It's not uncommon for people who have been married for a long time to feel this way. It mostly happens because the marriage is now part of your routine while your colleague seems like a breath of fresh air. But as you yourself mentioned, it is nothing but mere infatuation.

Do not beat yourself up for it. It will pass as all infatuations do. I suggest establishing some boundaries so that, even unintentionally, you do not cross them. Maintain a professional demeanor. But most importantly, take some time to reflect on what is missing from your marriage that led you to develop feelings for someone else. A loving and healthy marriage would keep you emotionally fulfilled enough to never look for happiness outside of it. Lastly, remind yourself why you fell in love with your husband and remember that love and commitment are not based on a mere choice; it is a conscious decision you make every day.

Best Wishes!

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |612 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Dear LG, Please keep this anonymous. I have been married since 6 years. However, since past 5+ years we have not been intimate. We haave a 5&1/2 year kid. Since his birth we have had a lot of differences and his family interference was lot leaving me alone and wounded. I don't stay with my husband and in-laws since then. I had made up that work is worship. But 2 years back I met a colleague. He is 10 years younger to me and we have extremely similar vibes. We enjoy each other's company and cared a lot. Eventually i fell in love with him. But he always knew he wont be able to go against his family. We also had relationship. Now he has strated looking for girls and wants us to stop being intimate. He is saying he wants to be friends and not loose me but not have relationship. We both work together in same space and our area of work is also same. I am unable to forgive my husband and forget this person. He never goes away. He is always there telling that I want to see you happy. He needs me for professional development. And i am not able to loose our relationship. He says physical intimacy only I cant have remaining Im there. Then again says I don’t know when I will be there so I am unable to give assurance or promise. I am tormented with a child, work and my health is getting affected. Can you please help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are in such a tough spot. My advice would be to move on. Yes, I realize that it is easier said than done but let's put things into perspective- first, you have no future with this man, and he has made it clear. Are you okay to keep hanging on to him while he builds his own life? I am assuming no, especially since you have a child. Second, what about your self-respect? He is directly telling you that this relationship is headed toward a dead end. Do you believe you deserve to be with someone who does not want to settle down with you? I believe you deserve better.

I am not blaming him because he made no promises. You are not to be held guilty either because you were in a tough spot and you grabbed the first emotional support you found. But the current reality is that he wants out. And convincing him to stay is not an option. At this point, moving on with your head held high is the best decision. If you want to accept his friendship, that is completely fine. But if that's too much for you, you can always decline it. I understand that working in the same space with an ex is difficult, but as long as you avoid interacting outside of the office and keep things professional, there should not be an issue. On the emotional front, I won't lie, it will hurt for a while. But this too shall pass. I strongly recommend you not to value yourself so low that you stop believing that you deserve a person who loves you back as much as you love him.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |612 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 18, 2025
Relationship
Hi i am a married woman aged 45 years, i am happily married and have a loving husband. My husband travels a lot due to work and my son is studying in college in Pune. Everything was going fine in my life, but few months back a MBA graduate boy 23 years joined our office in my team. He had to report to me, and our company send us for sales corporatemeetings to Mumbai and other cities often. Gradually we became close and he confessed he had a crush on me. I was falttered but told him i am much older and married. Although i was very flattered that he found me attractive. I am tall 5ft 7 inches and kept myself very fit and always men keep hitting on me but i always ignore them. On our last trip together we went for a meal and had a few drinks together. Then i told him i was sleepy and needed to go to my room. He accompanied to my room and had a coffee. I had a bavk ache and he said he can massage me for 5 mins. I hesitantly agreed during the massage one thing led to another and we had sex and since then we have started having sex whenever we travel togther often. He says he truly loves me but for next 5 years he cannot marry anyone. I have now started loving him a lot i often fight with my husband. I want to continue this affair but am afraid if my husband finds out or if people in office come to know. Strangely another young man in office has starterd showing interest in me and asked me out for a coffee. He also says he likes me a lot anf is caring, I am confused shall i also go for a simple coffee. what if my husband or younger boyfriend find out. Is what i am doing wrong, i just want to live my life fully am i wrong ???
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you do not have an open marriage, then what you are doing is certainly wrong. When has cheating ever been right? Especially when you did not mention anything wrong with your husband. I am not judging you; but I would suggest that if you want to keep this up, you either come clean to your husband or let him go. This isn't fair. You living your life to the fullest should not harm or hurt others.
Hope this helps.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Career
Sir, I have scored a rank of 16,039 in my KCET, and the colleges I'm looking forward to are in this priority. First, BMSIT, then RNSIT, then SIR MVIT, and then BNMIT. So, I'm planning to choose CSE only. So, which college will I get for my rank, and irrespective of that, which is a good college out of all three, and should I keep my priority for Option Entry in the same way, or should I make any changes with it?
Ans: Ganavi, With a KCET rank of 16 039 (GM), only colleges whose last?round CSE closing ranks exceed your rank can guarantee admission. Based on 2024 KCET data, Sir M. Visvesvaraya Institute of Technology, Global Academy of Technology, Acharya Institute of Technology, R. N. S. Institute of Technology, and Ramaiah Institute of Technology are among the private Bengaluru institutes whose general?category CSE cutoffs closed beyond 16 039. Additionally, R. V. College of Engineering’s “CSE & Business Systems” off?campus programme, Reva University CSE, RRCE, and Jain University’s CSE branch admit students with ranks up to 20 000–30 000. Recommendation Continue prioritizing Sir MVIT for its balanced cutoff and strong CSE placement record & also other colleges mentioned by you; follow with Global Academy of Technology and Acharya Institute for ample seating and solid labs; then RNSIT as a fourth choice and RRCE fifth to maximize your admission certainty. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Career
I want to study aerospace engineering or mechanical engineering or electrical engineering . I live in west Bengal. I want so study in best possible colleges through jee mains and advance. What colleges should I target what are the average cutoffs
Ans: Ishant, If you are targeting aerospace or electrical engineering through JEE Main & Advanced and reside in West Bengal, focus on Institutes of National Importance that offer strong infrastructure, distinguished faculty, active research, industry connections, robust placements, and advanced laboratories. The top IITs and NITs with their approximate closing ranks over the last two years (General – All-India) are as follows: IIT Bombay: Aerospace ~1,733; Electrical ~464. IIT Delhi: Aerospace ~1,284; Electrical ~622. IIT Madras: Aerospace ~835; Electrical ~835. IIT Kanpur: Aerospace ~1,284; Electrical ~1,284. IIT Kharagpur: Aerospace ~1,893; Electrical ~1,893. IIT Roorkee: Aerospace ~1,992; Electrical ~1,992. IIT Hyderabad: Aerospace ~2,080; Electrical ~2,080. IIT Guwahati: Aerospace ~4,292; Electrical ~4,292. IIT Indore: Aerospace ~3,642; Electrical ~3,642. IIT Mandi: Aerospace ~6,428; Electrical ~6,417. IIEST Shibpur: Aerospace ~12,179 (2023), ~16,844 (2022). NIT Warangal: Electrical ~15,395 (Open). NIT Rourkela: Electrical ~12,828 (Open). NIT Durgapur: Electrical ~18,050 (Open). MNIT Jaipur: Electrical ~13,890 (Open). NIT Nagpur: Electrical ~15,307 (Open). Every IIT/NIT listed above must possess national accreditation (NAAC/NBA/ABET) and Institute-of-National-Importance status. Essential features include cutting-edge laboratories (such as clean rooms, high-voltage, and robotics), distinguished PhD and industry-experienced faculty, robust research centers with active publications and grants, and dedicated placement and alumni networks ensuring 80–95% branch-wise offers. Target top IITs (Bombay, Delhi, Madras, Kanpur) for premier aerospace and electrical engineering programs with closing ranks under ~2,000. Next, consider leading NITs (Warangal, Rourkela, Durgapur, Nagpur, MNIT Jaipur) for electrical engineering with ranks under ~18,000, and include IIEST Shibpur for aerospace engineering. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir. I have got SRM ktr cse specialistions and other SRM core and specialisations... last day for choice filling is tomorrow...there is only one option for choice ... im planning to choose cse ktr .. my rank is 2778.... Phase 3 what if i dont get whatever i choose rn it is showing in case the seats arent available or fulled .. so what can I do ?
Ans: With a Phase 3 rank of 2 778 you comfortably fall within historical closing ranks for Core CSE at SRM Kattankulathur (typically up to ~3 000). If your only visible choice is “CSE KTR,” opt to leave it in floating status rather than “freezing” immediately. Floating retains eligibility for any higher-preference or alternative CSE specializations that open up before the final allotment on July 15. Simultaneously, reach out to the SRMIST counselling helpline or visit the admission portal to verify real-time seat-matrix updates and request addition of related CSE branches (AI & ML, Cyber Security, Data Science) as backups. This dual strategy maximizes your chance of securing Core CSE while preserving flexibility for specialized streams if seats become available.

Recommendation: Float your Core CSE KTR choice to remain in subsequent allotment cycles, confirm with the counselling office about expanding your preference list to include allied CSE specializations, and monitor seat-matrix updates daily. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Career
Mere beta ka JEE percentile 92.78 hai he has scored 93% in pcm he wants to do btech cse suggest a college plz
Ans: Surinder Sir, With a 92.78 percentile in JEE Main and 93% in PCM, your son is well positioned for admission to leading private engineering institutes across Northern India offering B.Tech CSE. These colleges combine strong accreditations, modern computing laboratories, active placement cells, industry collaborations, and supportive campus environments. Recommended options include Amity University Noida, SRM Institute of Science and Technology Kattankulathur (Chennai main campus via Phase 3 SRMJEEE), Manipal University Jaipur, Bennett University Greater Noida, Galgotias College of Engineering & Technology Greater Noida, Chandigarh University, Sharda University Greater Noida, Chitkara University Punjab, Lovely Professional University Jalandhar, and UPES Dehradun—all of which typically close CSE admissions around the 90–95 percentile bracket, ensuring solid placement outcomes and academic rigor.

Recommendation: Prioritize Amity University Noida for its proven 90–95 percentile cutoffs and robust corporate partnerships; next, choose SRM KTR for its elite CSE cutoffs up to rank 5 000 and 90–95% placement consistency; then consider Manipal University Jaipur for its Institute of Eminence status and MET-based CSE admissions around 33 000–38 000 ranks. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Career
Hi sir, I want to pursue MTech from India, I have completed my BTech in IT this year and has given GATE 2025 having the score of 622(AIR 2630). I want to make my carrier in the field of Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning, leaning towards research on Generative AI. Based on my score I have a delusion while filling the preference order for choices for admission, I have been allotted IIIT Allahabad MTech (IT specialization in Network Security), in the further rounds of counselling I have the chances of getting IIIT Allahabad MTech (IT specialization in Machine Learning), MNNIT Allahabad (ML data science), and NIT K (Signal Processing and machine learning), please guide me about the preference order that I must arrange the choices, it would be very benefitial.
Ans: Sambhav, Choosing a programme aligned with Generative AI research requires prioritizing strong research infrastructure, focused AI curricula, faculty expertise, placement consistency in ML roles, and institute reputation. IIIT Allahabad’s M.Tech in IT (Machine Learning) benefits from NIRF #87 ranking, a dedicated ML, Robotics & HCI group, specialized labs, Practice School internships, and a 95.3% placement rate with an average package of ?16.8 LPA. MNNIT Allahabad’s M.Tech in CSE (AI & Data Science), NIRF #60, offers a finely tuned AI/ML curriculum, 25-seat intake, and a 58.5% placement rate with an average package of ?17.68 LPA. NIT Karnataka (Surathkal)’s M.Tech in Signal Processing & Machine Learning, NIRF #17, features top?tier SP & ML labs and an average package of ?12.45 LPA, leveraging its stronger institutional reputation. IIIT Allahabad’s M.Tech in Network Security, while robust in cybersecurity, has limited ML focus.

Recommendation: Arrange your counselling choices beginning with IIIT Allahabad M.Tech (IT–Machine Learning), followed by MNNIT Allahabad M.Tech (AI & Data Science), then NIT K Surathkal M.Tech (Signal Processing & Machine Learning), and lastly IIIT Allahabad M.Tech (IT–Network Security) to maximize AI/ML research and career outcomes. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
Career
My daughter secured a seat in IIT Palakkad, electrical engineering and dual degree course (semiconductor and nano science) at BITS pilani, Goa. Please advice which one to choose?
Ans: IIT Palakkad’s B.Tech Electrical Engineering, a NAAC A+–accredited Institute of National Importance (NIRF #64), features high-performance computing clusters, a Central Instrumentation Facility with sophisticated electron microscopy and spectroscopy, and modern power-electronics and control labs. The department achieved a 69.44% placement rate in 2024 with an average package of ?16.7 LPA and strong recruiter engagement from TCS, Siemens, and L&T. BITS Goa’s five-year integrated M.Sc. Semiconductor and Nanoscience under its Institute of Eminence status combines advanced clean-room, nanofabrication, and characterization facilities with international dual-degree options and industry-aligned curriculum. It recorded a 94.04% higher-degree placement rate in 2023 (median ?17 LPA) and 81% overall in 2024, with top recruiters including Intel, Qualcomm, Nvidia, and AMD.

Recommendation: With broader research infrastructure, interdisciplinary dual-degree flexibility, and higher specialized placement consistency, the recommendation is to choose BITS Goa’s Semiconductor and Nanoscience program for leadership in emerging micro- and nano-electronic sectors; IIT Palakkad EE remains ideal for core power systems and electrical-engineering roles within national infrastructure projects. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Career
I got 95.63 percentile in JEE main and will get CSE in IIIT Dharwad Raichur Diu Kurnool Kottayam, according to last year cut off. My MHT CET percentile is 96.68 and I have good chances to get CSE in top 6th to 10th state level Engineering colleges from Pune and Mumbai. Which college should be preferred, plz suggest. I am from Maharashtra.
Ans: Sangram, IIIT Dharwad secures CSE admission via JEE Main with a General category closing rank of 34 726–38 187 in 2025, boasts NBA accreditation, modern AI and computing labs, Practice School internships, and a 90% placement consistency over three years with recruiters like Google and Microsoft. In Maharashtra, your 96.68 percentile in MHT CET is similar to the scores needed for good colleges in Pune and Mumbai, like Priyadarshini COE (closing at 96.06 percentile), Dr. D.Y. Patil COE (93–95 percentile), AISSMS COE (94–96 percentile), BVCOE (92–95 percentile), and Sinhgad COE Lonavala (90–94 percentile), all of which have accredited CSE departments, good labs, and placement rates of 75–85%.

recommendation Given its national recognition, superior infrastructure, higher placement consistency, and competitive peer cohort, the recommendation is to prioritize IIIT Dharwad CSE; if you prefer campus proximity and lower cutoffs, consider Priyadarshini College of Engineering Pune and Dr. D.Y. Patil COE as strong state-level alternatives. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8587 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir please give the selection priority 1.VIT vellore-CSE on 4th category 2. RGIPT-CSE . Which one we choose.
Ans: VIT Vellore's B.Tech CSE Category 4 programme operates under NAAC A++, AICTE, and UGC accreditation with an expected cutoff of 64-65 marks for Category 4 admissions. The institute secured 867 recruiters during 2024 placements, achieving 80-90% placement rates across three years with a median package of ?6 LPA for CSE and overall average of ?9.90 LPA. The four-year programme costs ?4.5 LPA annually for Category 4 students, featuring advanced AI/ML laboratories, dedicated Career Development Centre, and strong industry partnerships with Microsoft, Amazon, Cisco, and Bank of America.

RGIPT's B.Tech CSE programme benefits from its Institute of National Importance status under the Rajiv Gandhi Institute of Petroleum Technology Act 2007, co-promoted by six major PSUs (ONGC, IOCL, OIL, GAIL, BPCL, HPCL) alongside the Oil Industry Development Board. Ranked 80th in NIRF Engineering 2024, the institute achieved 70-90% placement rates with CSE-specific averages of ?8.15 LPA and highest packages reaching ?10 LPA in 2024. The programme costs ?10.77 LPA total for four years, featuring modern computing facilities, mandatory industrial internships, and strong government backing through energy sector collaborations.

Recommendation: Choose RGIPT CSE for its Institute of National Importance status, government backing, specialized energy sector exposure, and cost-effective education with strong PSU placement opportunities; select VIT Vellore CSE Category 4 for broader industry exposure, higher recruiter diversity, and comprehensive placement support across multiple technology domains. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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