Hi
My husband is very friendly and notices beautiful and well-groomed women.
He compliments them, nothing more than that.
I notice that women like to talk to him too.
He compliments me too. He tells me that I am beautiful often and likes to see me well-dressed.
I tried talking to good-looking men in front of him and he has no problem with that.
He likes dancing too and I am not a good dancer. If I don’t dance with him, he dances with other women.
I’m not sure what to think of all this.
We have been married for one year, arranged marriage.
Is my marriage in trouble?
A worried wife

Hi Anu, I'm 53 years and have been married for the past 27 years. I have a 25 year daughter. I am well educated (MBA) and my husband has just barely passed his BA. My husband used to be very short tempered and shout at me for every other thing since the beginning of our marriage. Also he used to do the same to our daughter. He also has a thing for women other than me/daughter...He loves staring at servants especially when they bend down, or while travelling in a train he likes watching girls/ladies climbing on the upper berth, or peeping into an autorickshaw to check out the lady inside. He also loves helping out ladies, (like their saviour) and will go to any extent even late at night to help them out (like carrying a sick colleague to the doctor, or finding a PG for a female person). He has even gone on tour with his lady colleague and called her home for office work when I and my daughter were at our native. Also he has given rides to female colleagues on the back of his scooter. He loves chatting up receptionists (be it at the doctor's or any other office) and joking with them. He is also obsessive with the personal problems of his brothers/their wives and their kids...giving them far more importance over and above us. Especially since the past 2 years when he lost his job due to corona pandemic, he has time now and will call them day in and day out trying to solve their problems and has also prayed ceaselessly for them, asked various astrologers for parihara for their problems etc. He is not at all worried about his own family facing a breakdown and no income. He is trying to start a cool-drink business with his partner but that is getting delayed because of the rainy season. I had visited a psychiatrist many years ago and he said I shouldn't take it so personally since this happens all the time where men and women interact in office and we can't prevent it. But I believe he is excessive in his interest in the opp sex, and he also treats me in a demeaning/derogatory manner...like trying to dominate over me and suppress me through the tone of his voice and shouting and trying to be one up. I have borne all this for 27 years for my daughter's sake and now that she is independent, I would like to separate from him for my own mental and physical health. My nature is mild and I do not like confrontations so I just end up crying. I am also not strong emotionally. I am already on anxiety and BP medication, and also get palpitations when I get upset. Please advise me Anu, on should I proceed with this separation. Marital counselling is ruled out since he will never attend it thinking that he is all perfect and I am the one having problems. My daughter is coming next week and she will support me fully in whatever decision I take. Thank you so much for your time and patience.

Hi Anu, I'm 36 year old working professional. I have two young kids they are 3 and 7. My husband always speak about other women like he wants to have sex with them. As of now he has not cheated on me. He had affairs before our marriage. His recent talks hurts me a lot. Please advise how I can overcome this. Whenever we go out in the road if he sees any woman he comments sexually. These things are bothering me. Apart from this he is a night drinker but I don't interact with him whenever he is drunk and I just got to sleep. Please help.

Dr Kaur, I have been married for 3 years. Ours was a love marriage. We dated for 5 years during college. My boyfriend, who is now my husband used to be a harmless flirt. He had many girlfriends before me. When he proposed to me, he promised that I was the only soulmate in his life. Now, when we go out, I have noticed that he ogles at other women. I agree that he is charming and girls find him attractive. Sometimes he casually flirts with my friends as well. No one has a problem or complaint. But I am feeling threatened. When I mentioned, he said I am jealous and there is no harm in staring at other women or flirting harmlessly. He said marriage should not feel like a jail sentence. I don't know how to handle this.

Hi Anu I've been married for almost four years now, and there's something my husband does that is really starting to hurt me. He constantly compares me to other women in his life -- sometimes it's his mother, sometimes his sister, and often his friend's wife. In the beginning, I brushed it off thinking maybe I was being too sensitive or reading too much into it. But now it's become a pattern, and I can't help but feel like I'm always falling short in his eyes. He'll say things like, 'Look how well my mother manages the house. She took care of the house without any maid and even helped us with our studies. You have so much help and still you are complaining.' Whenever he sees a homemaker wife, he will tell me 'See how she supports her husband without questioning him.' Even smaller details like how I dress or speak is a topic of comparison. He is never mean; sometimes it's casual, sometimes it's like a joke, but the message still stings. I hope I am not overreacting.

Hi Anu, Is it normal for a friend's husband to flirt or make a pass at you despite knowing you are close to his wife? Recently, my friend's husband has been complimenting my looks excessively. He texts me late at night. Once he even tried to touch my hand during a party. I have been feeling extremely uncomfortable when he is around but I am not sure if I am overthinking or reading too much into this. Should I confront my friend about her husband's inappropriate behaviour? I am afraid it would ruin our friendship. How do I handle this situation where a married man, who is also my friend's husband, is crossing his boundaries?