Hi Anu I've been married for almost four years now, and there's something my husband does that is really starting to hurt me. He constantly compares me to other women in his life -- sometimes it's his mother, sometimes his sister, and often his friend's wife. In the beginning, I brushed it off thinking maybe I was being too sensitive or reading too much into it. But now it's become a pattern, and I can't help but feel like I'm always falling short in his eyes. He'll say things like, 'Look how well my mother manages the house. She took care of the house without any maid and even helped us with our studies. You have so much help and still you are complaining.' Whenever he sees a homemaker wife, he will tell me 'See how she supports her husband without questioning him.' Even smaller details like how I dress or speak is a topic of comparison. He is never mean; sometimes it's casual, sometimes it's like a joke, but the message still stings. I hope I am not overreacting.

Hi My husband is very friendly and notices beautiful and well-groomed women. He compliments them, nothing more than that. I notice that women like to talk to him too. He compliments me too. He tells me that I am beautiful often and likes to see me well-dressed. I tried talking to good-looking men in front of him and he has no problem with that. He likes dancing too and I am not a good dancer. If I don’t dance with him, he dances with other women. I’m not sure what to think of all this. We have been married for one year, arranged marriage. Is my marriage in trouble? A worried wife

I am a 36-year-old woman who deeply valued the sanctity of marriage. I chose my husband carefully, valuing his polite nature, strong character, and religious values over material wealth, believing I had found a partner who aligned with my values.However, shortly after the marriage, I noticed red flags. His family seemed overly focused on my financial status, I overlooked all the taunts , disrespect everything initially, believing that as long as my husband was good to me, I could adjust. I treated his family as my own, I always buys them thoughtful gifts but that were never acknowledged or appreciated, even though my husband has never bought me any gifts to date. Despite this, I felt undeserving of their negativity.A few weeks into the marriage, I realized that my husband’s interest was also more about my financial contributions than love. He avoided responsibility and showed little concern for our future. Although he presents himself as a man of strong religious values, these values disappear when financial and cultural issues arise. He treats me like an outsider, and our relationship feels more like that of roommates.When I began to take a stand, things worsened. He failed to validate my emotions, frequently starting arguments and using hurtful language. He turns into something else during arguments, which scares me. Most of the time he treats me poorly, I even had to beg for his time . He also shares our private matters with his family, creating tension and emboldening their disrespect. Despite my efforts to bridge the gap, he remained silent when his mother disrespected me infrontof him, failing to defend me.My growing insecurity about losing my job, which is crucial for financial stability, has driven me to focus more on my career, even though I once prioritized family over everything.After almost 3 years of trying, I find myself in a situation I never imagined. The love and respect I hoped for are absent, and separation, once unthinkable, now seems possible. One part of me has accepted remaining alone forever rather than compromising my values or having children with such a man, while another part still hopes he might change if he starts loving me truly, despite doubts he will ever stand up for me as he only wants to be a good son.Should I stay in this marriage and work through the issues, or is it time to leave?

I am a 38-year-old software engineer from Pune, married for three years. My wife often keeps comparing me to her ex and other men. I used to ignore it earlier and it started affecting my self confidence. But now I feel she is doing it to make me feel incompetent and irresponsible. I do not want to be compared to other men. This is leading to unnecessary fights and arguments. How do I handle the constant criticism without losing my confidence?

Dr Kaur, I have been married for 3 years. Ours was a love marriage. We dated for 5 years during college. My boyfriend, who is now my husband used to be a harmless flirt. He had many girlfriends before me. When he proposed to me, he promised that I was the only soulmate in his life. Now, when we go out, I have noticed that he ogles at other women. I agree that he is charming and girls find him attractive. Sometimes he casually flirts with my friends as well. No one has a problem or complaint. But I am feeling threatened. When I mentioned, he said I am jealous and there is no harm in staring at other women or flirting harmlessly. He said marriage should not feel like a jail sentence. I don't know how to handle this.

My husband ignores me unless he needs something. Like he will not say Good morning or ask how my day was. But he will ask me where his wallet is, whether dinner is ready. Beyond that, I barely exist in his world. We live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, but we don't have a real conversation in weeks. He scrolls through his phone all evening, and shows no interest in how I feel or what I do all day. Even when we go out shopping, he will not share any feedback. I feel invisible in my own marriage. I have seen my parents behaving like this. Is this how marriage becomes over time?