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Love Guru |204 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more

Question by Mithun on Nov 09, 2021Hindi

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Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
I want to date a girl who is five years older to me.
I know she is interested in me, but is worried about the age gap.
Can it work like it is for Malaika and Arjun?
The age difference bothers her and she seems to be avoiding me.
But I just want to date her and am not considering marriage unless it works out.
What do you think I should do?
Mithun (name changed)

Ans:

Mithun, five years is not some ridiculous age gap; in fact, I don't think we would be having this exchange if it were the other way around.

But because she's the woman, it poses a problem.

Now unless you're 12 years old, I say go ahead and tell her to stop behaving silly too.

For heavens' sake, you don't need Bollywood examples, it's just a few years -- she's not someone's grandmother you want to date!

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Dr Ashish Sehgal |119 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 11, 2023

Question by Sachin - Feb 28, 2023Hindi

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Relationship

Hello, I am 45 yrs old, divorced , in love with 29 yrs old girl. We deeply are in love with each other, however Girl’s Parents are not agreeing to our marriage, citing age gap. It’s been 2.5 yrs, have met her Parents many times at their home. Her Parents consider me as a nice guy , but the age gap factor is not letting them to approve our relationship. Am seriously stressed and want to wary that girl only. Request you to kindly suggest ðŸ™

Ans: It can be challenging when families do not approve of a relationship due to age differences or other factors. However, it's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to enter into a relationship and get married is a personal one that should be based on the feelings and desires of the two people involved.

It's important to continue to communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend and her parents about your feelings and intentions. Try to listen to their concerns and address them in a respectful and thoughtful way. It may also be helpful to enlist the support of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, who can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your girlfriend's parents.

However, it's also important to recognize that ultimately, you cannot control the decisions of others. If your girlfriend's parents continue to disapprove of the relationship, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is sustainable in the long term. It's important to consider not only your feelings for each other, but also the practical realities of your situation and whether you can build a fulfilling and happy life together despite any external challenges.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your girlfriend to decide what is best for your relationship and your future. It may be helpful to continue to work on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual support, regardless of the outcome with her parents.

Ravi Mittal |559 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2023Hindi

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Relationship

Am 54+ and I am in Love with a Women who is 31 years Younger Than me but, we haven't expressed yet that we love each of us she calls me as Kaka i had helped her during her bad times in 2021 after she had got Covid-19 and her parents don't wanted her to be with her as she approached me and told me to keep her with me for the time being till the situation gets normal after discussion how can I as am married single and alone and my daughter living with my in-laws to accomplish her studies in the mean time the girl have'nt disclosed the age but now when I asked about her age then only she told the age. Now what to do I really love her but am afraid (because of unknown of her age she was Looked like Minor in her behavioral nature) of how to convince that I Love her since last 2 years. We get together in City only for Cafeterias Long Drives and also Am taking the class how to Ride Bike (Scooty). Am her Pillon on Back to control I feel As if am with my Wife as she ( of her Pure and Innocent Soul) is no more since she met with an Fatal Car Accident in 2013. What ot do I don't want to Loose her and also Can't Leave without Her. I Also Insisted her to introduce to Her Parents but she says no. And want to clear that we are not in Physical Relationship only pure Soulful relationship. Pl. Reply GURU

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

From your question, I am assuming that she isn't showing the same interest in you. That makes my advice very simple- please leave her alone. You might feel a hundred things about her, but she might not feel the same way. You have every right to love and be loved, but not with this person whom you think might be too young for you. And even if she reciprocates it someday, I would like for you to understand that she doesn't have the emotional maturity of a full-grown adult. Find someone your age, with your maturity level. Let her be; she has her entire life ahead of her and your feelings will do her no good.

There are plenty of women looking for a genuine relationship. It will certainly be best for both of you if you consider dating those women who can give you the right kind of company and emotional support.

Best Wishes.

Anu Krishna |1576 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2024

Question by Shailesh - Dec 28, 2023Hindi

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Relationship

Hi. I am 47 year old widower and since last one year I am in love with 20 year old girl. We both are from different states, culture and even our eating habits are. She loves my caring nature and I supported her financially without expecting anything (physical relation). Now we both are serious about marriage. Her parents were initially raised concern about age difference but finally they are agree. But I am bit confused if this much big gap in age will harm our married life. She may realise it after some years. Major problem I see in future when we will think about having child..i am confused.. please advice

Ans: Dear Shailesh,
Yes, the age gap might most likely bother her in a few years when she sees you growing older when she finds a lot of younger men around.
You did mention that her parents are concerned about this alliance BUT what about the girl? What does she think of marriage with you? Since she is young, has she had the time to process if the care that you were showering her with is not actually what she has missed from her parents especially her father? You need to be very careful of this one because she could be projecting her lack of love from her parents onto you and then seek it from you!
And you are right to be concerned about children as well...when you are 60 and wanting to slow down, you might still need to push yourself till the child is at least 20...Do the Math...
Do make the girl aware of these concerns that you have and let her decide for herself independently...You will agree that you cannot become a caring figure in her life rather than a husband.

All the best!

Mohit Arora | Answer |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 25, 2024Hindi

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Relationship

Hi , Iam 40 , and divorced , I Recently met a girl in my office , who is just a fresher and we have a gap of around 15 Years. Is it Ok to Continue relationship with this girl ? is the Age Gap Too Much to Handle. Should i withdraw from the relationship at the earlier stage itself rather than getting into it and later break up?

Ans: Age gap won't matter. It's about chemistry. Leonardo di Caprio Only dates women below 25. Is she into you? Does she like you?

Latest Questions

Ramalingam Kalirajan |8182 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Question by Kamlesh - Apr 03, 2025Hindi

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Money

Dear Sir, I am 47 years old IT professional. My current salary is 1.5 lakhs per month. I have a daughter who just completed her 10th board exam. My corpus is around 1.6Cr FD&PPF; 30 lakhs in MF & stocks; 50 lakhs in EPF. I have no debt and living in my own house. Please suggest if I can plan for retirement

Ans: Your financial position is strong, and planning for retirement at 47 is a smart decision. Below is a detailed 360-degree approach to assess whether you can retire comfortably and how to ensure financial security.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
Income: Rs 1.5 lakh per month.

Corpus:

Rs 1.6 crore in Fixed Deposits (FD) and Public Provident Fund (PPF).

Rs 30 lakh in mutual funds and stocks.

Rs 50 lakh in Employees' Provident Fund (EPF).

Liabilities: No debts.

Assets: Own house, ensuring no rent or EMI burden.

Family Responsibility:

Daughter has just completed the 10th board exam.

Higher education expenses need to be planned.

Key Considerations Before Retirement
Expected Retirement Age

If you plan to retire early (before 55), corpus sustainability needs careful assessment.

If you work till 60, it will provide a larger financial cushion.

Post-Retirement Expenses

Living expenses, healthcare, travel, and lifestyle costs must be considered.

Inflation will increase future expenses.

Daughter’s Education

Higher education costs are significant.

Corpus should cover both education and retirement without compromise.

Medical Expenses

Health costs increase with age.

A high health insurance cover is essential.

Wealth Growth vs. Safety

A mix of equity and debt investments ensures growth while preserving capital.

Excessive reliance on FDs and PPF may limit long-term wealth accumulation.

Assessing If You Can Retire Comfortably
Current Corpus Size

Rs 2.4 crore (excluding house) is a strong starting point.

But, inflation will reduce its real value over time.

Expected Corpus Growth

Investments in mutual funds and stocks should continue to grow.

PPF and EPF offer stable but lower returns.

Withdrawals Post-Retirement

Sustainable withdrawals should not deplete the corpus too soon.

A balanced investment strategy is required.

Gaps in Planning

Heavy reliance on FDs and PPF may not be ideal.

More equity exposure can ensure inflation-beating returns.

Steps to Strengthen Your Retirement Plan
1. Optimising Investment Strategy
Continue investing in mutual funds with a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

Reduce dependence on FDs for long-term needs.

Equity mutual funds help counter inflation and grow wealth.

Avoid index funds as they provide average returns without active management.

Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) offer expert monitoring.

Diversify investments between equity, debt, and fixed-income products.

2. Planning for Daughter’s Education
Higher education costs can be Rs 30-50 lakh in the next 5-7 years.

Separate this goal from your retirement plan.

Increase equity investment to build an education corpus.

Avoid withdrawing from retirement savings for education.

3. Building a Healthcare Safety Net
Health insurance should cover at least Rs 30-50 lakh.

Consider super top-up plans for additional coverage.

Maintain an emergency medical fund to cover non-insured expenses.

Review insurance policies periodically.

4. Creating a Sustainable Withdrawal Plan
Avoid withdrawing a large portion of the corpus in early retirement years.

Keep at least 5 years of expenses in liquid assets.

Equity exposure should reduce gradually as retirement progresses.

Use dividends and interest income before selling assets.

Final Insights
Retirement is possible, but adjustments are needed for long-term security.

Continue investing aggressively for the next few years.

Ensure daughter's education is planned separately.

Review investments and insurance regularly.

Keep flexibility in withdrawal strategy post-retirement.

A structured plan will ensure a financially secure and comfortable retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ramalingam Kalirajan |8182 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi

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Money

My employer offers a salary sacrifice scheme for pension contributions, but I don't fully understand how it works. What are the potential advantages and disadvantages of joining such a scheme, and how does it affect my take-home pay and long-term financial planning?

Ans: A salary sacrifice scheme for pension contributions allows you to give up a portion of your salary in exchange for increased employer contributions to your pension. It has tax and National Insurance (NI) advantages but also some potential drawbacks.

How Salary Sacrifice for Pension Works
You agree to reduce your gross salary by a chosen amount.

Your employer contributes this amount directly to your pension.

Since your taxable salary is lower, you pay less income tax and NI.

Your employer also saves on NI and may pass on some or all of this saving to your pension.

Advantages
1. Tax and NI Savings
You don’t pay income tax or NI on the sacrificed amount.

Your employer saves on NI (currently 13.8%) and may increase your pension with these savings.

2. Higher Pension Contributions
Since more money goes into your pension, your retirement corpus grows faster.

Compounding over time enhances long-term wealth.

3. Increased Take-Home Pay
Although you sacrifice part of your salary, the NI savings may offset some of the reduction.

Depending on employer policies, your net pay may not drop significantly.

4. Potential Employer Matching
Some employers pass their NI savings into your pension, increasing your total contributions.

Disadvantages
1. Reduced Gross Salary
A lower salary means reduced future pay rises if they are percentage-based.

Life cover, sick pay, and redundancy pay linked to salary may be affected.

2. Lower Borrowing Capacity
Mortgage applications consider salary; a lower reported income might reduce borrowing potential.

3. Impact on State Benefits
If salary drops below certain thresholds, statutory benefits like maternity pay and state pension could be affected.

4. Restricted Access to Pension
The extra pension savings cannot be accessed before retirement (except under specific conditions).

Effect on Take-Home Pay
Your net pay will be slightly lower, but less than the actual amount sacrificed.

The tax and NI savings cushion the impact.

If your employer adds their NI savings, your total retirement savings increase.

Effect on Long-Term Financial Planning
Your pension fund grows faster, improving retirement security.

Short-term disposable income is slightly reduced, so budget planning is important.

Consider how the reduced salary affects other financial goals like buying a house or saving for education.

Should You Opt for It?
If employer NI savings are passed to your pension, it’s highly beneficial.

If you are close to lower tax bands or state benefit thresholds, assess the impact.

If you plan to apply for a mortgage, check how it affects your eligibility.

A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help assess your personal situation before making a decision.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ramalingam Kalirajan |8182 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi

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Money

Hi Sir , Greetings of the day!! hope you are doing well !! I want to do a savings of 50 lacs in as much less time span as possible because I want to buy a property in Gurgaon. My monthly salary is 1 lac 11k and I am currently investing 10k in mutual fund monthly and 50k in nps yearly. Can you please guide me how can I save 50 lacs and in how much time ?

Ans: Your goal of saving Rs 50 lakh for a property in Gurgaon is ambitious but achievable with the right strategy. Below is a structured approach to help you reach your target in the shortest possible time.

Understanding Your Current Financial Position
Your monthly salary is Rs 1.11 lakh.

You invest Rs 10,000 per month in mutual funds.

Your annual NPS contribution is Rs 50,000.

You haven't mentioned any liabilities or existing savings. If you have any ongoing EMIs or debts, they should be factored in.

Key Considerations for Achieving Rs 50 Lakh Target
The speed of reaching Rs 50 lakh depends on savings rate and returns.

High savings rate is the most reliable way to accumulate wealth.

Investment returns are uncertain and depend on market conditions.

A balanced approach is necessary to ensure stability and growth.

Increasing Your Savings Rate
Currently, you are investing Rs 10,000 per month.

If you can increase it to Rs 50,000 per month, you will reach Rs 50 lakh faster.

Cutting discretionary expenses will free up more money for investments.

Consider reducing unnecessary spending on dining out, luxury items, and vacations.

Redirect bonuses, incentives, or salary hikes towards savings.

Choosing the Right Investment Instruments
Mutual Funds for Growth
Actively managed equity mutual funds can generate better returns than fixed deposits.

A mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and small-cap funds can balance risk and reward.

Mid-cap and small-cap funds have higher growth potential but also higher volatility.

Avoid index funds as they provide average returns and lack active risk management.

Debt Investments for Stability
Fixed deposits, debt mutual funds, and PPF provide stability.

These should be used for short-term parking rather than long-term growth.

Debt mutual funds are taxed based on your income tax slab.

Avoid locking too much money in low-return instruments.

Balancing Risk and Return
Investing entirely in equity mutual funds can generate high returns but comes with volatility.

A mix of 80% equity and 20% debt can provide stability.

As your target nears, shift more funds towards safer instruments.

Avoid speculation and high-risk investments like cryptocurrency.

Role of NPS in Your Goal
NPS is good for retirement but not ideal for short-term goals.

Partial withdrawal is allowed only under specific conditions.

Do not rely on NPS for your property purchase.

Managing Tax Efficiency
Equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

Investing in tax-efficient instruments will maximize returns.

Estimating the Timeframe
If you invest Rs 50,000 per month, you can accumulate Rs 50 lakh in about 7-8 years with moderate returns.

If you invest Rs 75,000 per month, you can reach Rs 50 lakh in about 5 years.

The faster you increase your savings, the sooner you will achieve your goal.

Final Insights
Increase your monthly investment to at least Rs 50,000.

Focus on actively managed equity mutual funds.

Keep a small portion in debt for stability.

Avoid unnecessary expenses and invest salary increments.

Do not depend on NPS for this goal.

Monitor and adjust your portfolio as needed.

Stay disciplined and patient to achieve your target.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1090 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi

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Career

B.TECH IN ECE IS A GOOD CHOICE IN THE UPCOMING YEARS... ! PLEASE TELL ...

Ans: Yes. You have to develop your skill by doing various online cources.

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1090 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Question by Aarav - Apr 03, 2025Hindi

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Career

Hello, I secured 93.15 percentile in JEE Mains 2025 (Session 1) and belong to the OBC-NCL category. Based on my percentile, could you please suggest which NITs, IIITs, or GFTIs I have a good chance of getting into?

Ans: NITs (Possible in Later Rounds / Lower NITs)
NIT Mizoram – Mechanical, Civil, Chemical

NIT Arunachal Pradesh – Mechanical, Civil, ECE

NIT Nagaland – Mechanical, Civil, EEE

NIT Agartala – Production Engineering, Civil, Chemical

IIITs (Decent Chance)
IIIT Kalyani – IT

IIIT Bhagalpur – ECE, Mechatronics

IIIT Una – ECE, IT

IIIT Ranchi – ECE

IIIT Bhopal – ECE

GFTIs (Better Chances)
Assam University – CSE, ECE

Punjab Engineering College (PEC), Chandigarh – Production Engineering

See previous years' cut off

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1090 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Question by Renuka - Apr 01, 2025Hindi

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Career

Good evening sir, I am a neet dropper, I had wasted lots of time in social media, family issues and health issues, for the whole year i give my 70-80c/o percent and just one -2 month before exam i got panic and stop studying, after 1 month, i have to appear for neet, i want to do mbbs should i took another drop?? I started my preparation after completing 12th , its my 3rd drop, i had quitted lots of distraction and improve but the chance to get selected in this attempt is very less, what should i do?? Please help

Ans: Throughout your mobile and laptop if you want to do become anything in your life

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1090 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Question by Tanya - Apr 01, 2025Hindi

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Career

i scored 94.16 perecntile in jee mains general category female quota home state uttar pradesh can i get seat in NIT?

Ans: Core branches like Mechanical, Civil, Chemical, and Biotechnology in newer or lower-ranked NITs (e.g., NIT Agartala, NIT Mizoram, NIT Arunachal Pradesh, etc.) may be possible.

ECE or Electrical in some mid-tier NITs may be available in later rounds (Home State Quota can help).

CSE in NITs is difficult at this rank, but IIITs, GFTIs, or state-level colleges might have seats.

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1090 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2025Hindi

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Career

What is my approximate obc category rank if my crl is about 34000 in jee mains 2025

Ans: 10,600−11,500

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1090 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2025Hindi

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Career

Sir, my son obtained 62.67 Marks and 629 Score in GATE 2025 for ME Branch. He is belonged to SC Category. Can he get any PSUs recruitment?

Ans: Securing a position in Public Sector Undertakings (PSUs) through GATE is highly competitive, with each PSU setting its own cutoff scores that vary annually based on factors such as the number of applicants, vacancy availability, and exam difficulty. So, nothing can be told at this moment. See previous years' cut off.

Dr Dipankar Dutta |1090 Answers |Ask -Follow

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Apr 03, 2025

Question by Deepika - Mar 20, 2025Hindi

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Career

Sir meri beti 2026 may 12kay exam degi.uskay bad vo IIT ki preparation kare gi to kay 2026us ka gap mana jaye ga or kay vo sirf 2time hi attempt de sakte hai.

Ans: According to JEE rules:

JEE Mains Attempt Limit – There is no specific attempt limit, but a student can appear for JEE Mains in the year of Class 12 and the next two years (total 3 years).

JEE Advanced Attempt Limit – A student can attempt JEE Advanced only twice in consecutive years (in the year of Class 12 and the following year).

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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