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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |149 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 24, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Nikki Question by Nikki on May 24, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi.. I have a question ... I am a 40 year old female and there is someone younger to me about 8 years younger who has shown interest and I’m reluctant .. As I am skeptical if due to the age gap it can work out ... I am also scared of how I will be perceived if I do go ahead with this relation due to our age gap. Pls advise

Ans: the important part is - do you share similar feeling for your partner/ friend as he does for you. In case you do, you need to see how it works between both - it will work well if you respect each other, are kind people and support each other's wishes. Once it works well then how does it matter how will it be perceived. People will talk, its the national past time, you cant do anything about it, so focus on what you can control.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 08, 2024

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Relationship
Hi. I am 47 year old widower and since last one year I am in love with 20 year old girl. We both are from different states, culture and even our eating habits are. She loves my caring nature and I supported her financially without expecting anything (physical relation). Now we both are serious about marriage. Her parents were initially raised concern about age difference but finally they are agree. But I am bit confused if this much big gap in age will harm our married life. She may realise it after some years. Major problem I see in future when we will think about having child..i am confused.. please advice
Ans: Dear Shailesh,
Yes, the age gap might most likely bother her in a few years when she sees you growing older when she finds a lot of younger men around.
You did mention that her parents are concerned about this alliance BUT what about the girl? What does she think of marriage with you? Since she is young, has she had the time to process if the care that you were showering her with is not actually what she has missed from her parents especially her father? You need to be very careful of this one because she could be projecting her lack of love from her parents onto you and then seek it from you!
And you are right to be concerned about children as well...when you are 60 and wanting to slow down, you might still need to push yourself till the child is at least 20...Do the Math...
Do make the girl aware of these concerns that you have and let her decide for herself independently...You will agree that you cannot become a caring figure in her life rather than a husband.

All the best!

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