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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 15, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi , I am Jose. I have a very complicated relationship issue. I loved a girl when I was about 18, she was from a financially better off family. This was a major reason that I hesitated to tell her about my love, instead remained a friend. She was better qualified too. I started working and wanted to be in a financially better situation before I confessed my love for her. In the meanwhile she got herself admitted in a college in the US, I decided to tell her, but was too late, she had already committed herself to her senior in college. We made a promise to each other that we will remain friends. We kept in touch through letters. Then I decided to get married as per the family wishes. Shortly she too got married to her boyfriend . We told our partners about each other. We continued to keep in touch thro email and phone calls once/twice in a year. We would meet once or twice every time she would visit from the US. We never had any physical relationship at the most it would be a peck on the cheek or just holding hands. We immersed ourselves in our personal / professional lives. We had 2 sons with our partners. Now the boys are in their 20's. In the meanwhile she found out her husband was having a relationship with some other woman, in the ensuing arguments it led to their divorce a couple of years back. Since 2021 I had 2 heart attacks, and survived. All these years I never had a happy life , we stayed together due to societal pressures and in the last 2 years we never had a physical relation too. She always had a hatred towards physical relationship. I hate forcing myself on her, so we have remained seperate in the last few years. After my 2nd attack, my friend helped me stop my smoking and somehow our chats on whatsapp or personal meets when she comes here have started becoming very mushy and with a lots of deeply loving words. I know I cannot divorce my wife as I would lose a lot of my immovable properties on which i depend for my rental income as I have actually gifted my wife a lot of my properties. Nowadays I am getting drawn towards my friend again and very strongly. Confused, and not knowing how to proceed. I am no longer working and depend on rentals for my earnings.

Ans: My dear friend,

It sounds like you're in a very complicated situation, and it's understandable that you feel confused and unsure about how to proceed. It's important to take some time to really think about what you want and what's best for you, as well as consider the impact of your actions on those around you.

First, it's important to acknowledge that your friend is currently in a vulnerable position after going through a divorce. While it's natural to feel drawn towards her, it's important to make sure that any actions you take are respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs.

At the same time, it's also important to consider your own needs and desires. You mentioned feeling unhappy in your current relationship and feeling drawn towards your friend again. It's important to really examine those feelings and think about what it is that you want in your life and your relationships.

However, it's also important to consider the potential consequences of your actions. You mentioned that you cannot divorce your wife without losing a significant amount of your income, and that you've already gifted her a lot of your properties. It's important to consider the financial and emotional impact that divorce could have on both you and your wife, as well as any children or other family members who may be affected.

One possible option could be to explore couples therapy or marriage counseling to see if there are ways to improve your current relationship and address the issues that have been causing unhappiness. It's also important to communicate openly and honestly with your friend about your feelings, but to do so in a way that is respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs as well.

Ultimately, the decision about how to proceed is up to you, but it's important to take the time to really think things through and consider all the potential consequences of your actions.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 58 now, since he age of 18 I was in love with a neighborhood girl. She was Hindu but I a christian. Her family was comparatively well to do . This prompted me to keep myself from expressing my feelings, I got myself a job and waited to have some financial independence. In the meanwhile she fell in love with someone else and also moved to the US, I was too late in expressing my feelings to her, and I told her under the condition we remain friends. After she moved we kept in touch thro' letters or an occasional phone call in the late 1980's. In the begining of the 1990's both of us got married to different partners , but continued to keep in touch as friends, which both our partners were aware. We used to meet personally whenever she would come to India, which was once in a year or sometimes even 2/3 years. We both have 2 boys each and the boys are now in their 20's. A couple of years ago she got divorced as her partner was in a physical relationship with someone else. In the meanwhile I continued with my wife even though we were totally incompatible and we literally hate each other. We didn't think of divorce coz of social pressures and in my case I've gifted her a major chunk of my immoveable assets but I earn rent on these properties which helps me meet y daily expenses. Over the last 2 years I had 2 heart attacks. the second one brought us both very close as she was concerned about my health, she came down to India and spent a few days motivating me to lead a healthier life, which co incidentally my wife never does, instead blames and nags me on my lifestyle. We have never had a physical relationship, at the most when we meet it's a warm peck on the cheek or just holding hands. Now I am getting back to my teenage years, I'm madly in love with her and want her. I know for sure if I do that my children would disown me and I'll lose a large part of my property which gives me a earning. I want her. I'm right now confused, illogical and very emotional.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I do realize that you have had to wait for this long for your love to be recognized and reciprocated as well. But that's the Nature of Time, If something does not yield a result at that moment, even if it fruitions later in time, it may not be very conducive to the people involved as everyone has grown in that particular relationship to form situational bonds. Meaning, you and she have become parents and your wife is still part of this equation.

It's not wrong to feel what you are feeling; but do not compare both the women. If your friend never existed, you would have had a different opinion on your wife altogether. Marriage is about accepting your partner at the core for who he/she is.

Now, let's take your situation and break it down. Suddenly, your friend who was married and because of which you respected boundaries is suddenly no longer in a marriage. So, that has given you an opportunity to think of how your life could have been with her and is tempting you to think of it. I understand that your health conditions would also have urged you to live life to the fullest. But, you are still married and you have a lot of financial tie-ups with your wife. Your friend possibly might not even want what you want. Plus, the children...it's one huge complication...

Should you not live your life? Yes, you must and should BUT do weigh what you might lose for what you want to gain. Are willing to risk it for the sake of love? It's the only logical way to approach this situation.

All the best!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024
Relationship
Hello Dr.Ashish, I'm married, 45 years self employed man. There was batch mate in my college, whom i was in love with. Due to some misunderstanding, we stopped talking for some time and I moved to other city for my job, but kept meeting her during my visits. I told everything i felt about her but she never accepted or refused. In general she used to tell everyone that she will never get married and she is aversive to physical relationship. Later on every 5 years or so we used to get in touch with each other and continue talking to each other and reach to a level where my feelings were at peak and then she will refuse or fight to move away.This was till I got married. After, 6 years of my marriage once we met in a shopping mall, in some other country, and exchanged pleasantries as well as contact; then started talking again. My marriage was/is a hell, so i had more to share with her, and she showed genuine interest in listening and advising. During this conversation our future also came in to discussion, due to extensive flashback discussion about our old times. She remembered every small big things except any event, where she has shown interest in our future together at personal level, but discussion of professional level association was intact. Eventually, one day she confirmed on we to be together, but not to over celebrate it and let it grow and work on execution ...means divorce part. There was an extreme sad event in my family, besides my daughter of 5 years, hence i had to postpone my divorce for sometime so that, family doesn't get two shocks at same time. In the mean time, we continued talking with each other and after 5-6 months, her statements started changing about future, and eventually she said there is no future and i cant talk to you since, you always bring romance in our conversation and I'm aversive to sex/love/romance type discussions. Then we again drifted apart for an year; and, this coming close to move away, happened 3 times in last two years. Recently we started again speaking and got in to business assignment together, and i decided not to bring personal discussions in between and maintained for a while, but then she was more caring and inquisitive about my personal things; and, when I slightly changed the tone then she becomes distant. I love her like anything ...have been in this relationship selflessly and never misbehaved except one time, i.e. college time our first fight. She takes her liberty to get angry at me, if the conversation is little disturbing for her. She is very strong in controlling her emotions and blocking herself from calling anyone she is angry with. She always more male friends with whom she will be very close and then starts talking negative about closest one. As per her she has not been in any romantic relationship ever, but when I look back we had our share of emotional moments though not physical ones. Every time patch up is done by me. During discussions it will come out that she was thinking of me but knew that i will come around. So far emothional part was always brought from my side and her side was little in more out types. I had this wish to be with her and take care of her since she is still unmarried and has health issues , ailing parents and one divorced brother. She is an enterprenure and I'm helping her with her business and she happily takes support from as its her right over me. I would like to take your opinion over the situation.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your deeply personal and intricate story. It's clear you’ve been carrying a significant emotional burden for many years. Your feelings of love, loyalty, and care for this woman are evident, but so too is the confusion and pain that this dynamic has caused. Let’s unravel this situation and explore possible paths forward.

Key Dynamics in Your Relationship
Patterns of Push and Pull:
This relationship seems to follow a cycle—closeness, emotional highs, and eventual withdrawal on her part. This push-and-pull dynamic can leave you feeling emotionally drained, constantly seeking validation and clarity from her while she retains control over the connection.

Her Stance on Romance:
She has repeatedly expressed aversion to romance, physical intimacy, or traditional ideas of love. Her actions may sometimes seem contradictory, but they align with her overall stance of maintaining control and boundaries that she’s comfortable with, even if it leaves you confused or hurt.

Your Role in the Dynamic:
You’ve shown immense patience, persistence, and care. However, it appears that you are consistently the one initiating reconnection, expressing emotions, and hoping for a future together. This imbalance may leave you feeling unfulfilled and questioning your self-worth.

Her Emotional Independence:
While she allows you into her professional life and accepts your support, she seems emotionally guarded, preferring to dictate the terms of the relationship. This indicates her desire to maintain independence, possibly due to personal values or past experiences.

Impact on You:
Being caught in this cycle for years has likely affected your emotional health, relationships, and sense of clarity. While you care deeply for her, the relationship seems to take more from you than it gives in return.

Questions to Reflect On
What Do You Truly Want?
Beyond your love for her, consider what you genuinely want and need in a relationship. Is it emotional reciprocity, stability, or clarity? Does this relationship align with those needs?

How Does This Dynamic Affect You?
Reflect on how the constant back-and-forth impacts your mental and emotional well-being. Are you truly happy, or are you clinging to the idea of what this relationship could be, rather than what it is?

What Role Do You Play in This Cycle?
Consider if your persistence is enabling this pattern. While your love and patience are admirable, they may also allow the dynamic to continue without resolution.

Recommendations
Establish Emotional Boundaries:
Protect your emotional energy by defining clear boundaries. For example, limit how much you give—emotionally or professionally—without receiving anything meaningful in return.

Communicate Differently:
The next time you speak with her, try expressing your feelings calmly and clearly, focusing on your needs. For example:

“I care deeply for you, but I feel our dynamic leaves me confused and emotionally drained. I need clarity about our relationship and whether we can truly have a future together.”
Detach with Care:
If her actions consistently indicate she cannot meet your emotional needs, it may be time to step back. Detachment doesn’t mean you stop caring; it means prioritizing your well-being and allowing space for clarity.

Focus on Yourself:
Your marriage, business, and emotional health are significant aspects of your life that need your attention. Consider working on your own happiness and independence outside this relationship. Seek counseling if needed to process the complexities of your feelings.

Recognize Patterns:
Notice the recurring themes in her behavior—shifting her stance, maintaining emotional distance, and expecting you to initiate reconciliation. Understanding these patterns can help you decide how much more you’re willing to invest emotionally.

A Gentle Reminder
Love and care are valuable gifts, but they must be balanced with mutual respect, clarity, and emotional safety. If a relationship consistently leaves you feeling unfulfilled or uncertain, it’s worth considering whether it’s meeting your deeper needs.

You deserve a relationship where your love and efforts are reciprocated. Take time to reflect and prioritize your well-being. If you need more guidance or a sounding board, I am here to support you.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Mam, I'm married, 45 years self employed man. There was batch mate in my college, whom i was in love with. Due to some misunderstanding, we stopped talking for some time and I moved to other city for my job, but kept meeting her during my visits. I told everything i felt about her but she never accepted or refused. In general she used to tell everyone that she will never get married and she is aversive to physical relationship. Later on every 5 years or so we used to get in touch with each other and continue talking to each other and reach to a level where my feelings were at peak and then she will refuse or fight to move away.This was till I got married. After, 6 years of my marriage once we met in a shopping mall, in some other country, and exchanged pleasantries as well as contact; then started talking again. My marriage was/is a hell, so i had more to share with her, and she showed genuine interest in listening and advising. During this conversation our future also came in to discussion, due to extensive flashback discussion about our old times. She remembered every small big things except any event, where she has shown interest in our future together at personal level, but discussion of professional level association was intact. Eventually, one day she confirmed on we to be together, but not to over celebrate it and let it grow and work on execution ...means divorce part. There was an extreme sad event in my family, besides my daughter of 5 years, hence i had to postpone my divorce for sometime so that, family doesn't get two shocks at same time. In the mean time, we continued talking with each other and after 5-6 months, her statements started changing about future, and eventually she said there is no future and i cant talk to you since, you always bring romance in our conversation and I'm aversive to sex/love/romance type discussions. Then we again drifted apart for an year; and, this coming close to move away, happened 3 times in last two years. Recently we started again speaking and got in to business assignment together, and i decided not to bring personal discussions in between and maintained for a while, but then she was more caring and inquisitive about my personal things; and, when I slightly changed the tone then she becomes distant. I love her like anything ...have been in this relationship selflessly and never misbehaved except one time, i.e. college time our first fight. She takes her liberty to get angry at me, if the conversation is little disturbing for her. She is very strong in controlling her emotions and blocking herself from calling anyone she is angry with. She always more male friends with whom she will be very close and then starts talking negative about closest one. As per her she has not been in any romantic relationship ever, but when I look back we had our share of emotional moments though not physical ones. Every time patch up is done by me. During discussions it will come out that she was thinking of me but knew that i will come around. So far emothional part was always brought from my side and her side was little in more out types. I had this wish to be with her and take care of her since she is still unmarried and has health issues , ailing parents and one divorced brother. She is an enterprenure and I'm helping her with her business and she happily takes support from as its her right over me. I would like to take your opinion over the situation.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Even if your marriage is a lost cause, this lady in question seems pretty unsteady and unsettled in what she wants. Constant drams will only keep you on your toes and more than having any peace of mind, all you will be a part of will be high range emotions most times.
Do you want this kind of drama and pull and push behavior?
Do you want to be in an unsettled state with her being unsure most times?
Do you want to part of her moods where she calls the shots with little or no respect for what you want?

I guess you have all the answers but are willing to compromise it for reasons known best to you. At the end of the day, the decision on this will be yours...decide wisely knowing how it affects you or how it is straining you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Madam me and my wife were married for 13 Odd Yrs and have been blessed with 2 kids aged about 12 and 8 respectively, while things were quite good but my wife addiction to social media ( FB / Insta ) spoilt entire relationship and she making up friends who are totally unknown spoilt her and also found out in the long run she was involved with other men, eventually we got divorced and kids custody was given to me but after about 2 Yrs i realised my kids needs support of an mother at home as it was making things difficult for me as a single parent to manage, thereby i happend to meet a person who had advertised thru marriage portal, though she was a widow with 2 kids, felt she cd be able to handle it better as her kids have lost their father, felt this would work, first few months she was quite okay later on she starting unnecessarily issues and made sure my kids return back to their biological mother as they felt things were more comfortable over there, and this partner of mine expects me to show love attention only to her and her biological kids, though she doesnt say it straight, her reactions and unnecessary disputes and fights after me visiting my kids or meeting them or even if i have gone to visit my mother or had lunch or dinner with her, make her feel very restlesness, i have always told and advised her to maintain good relationship with my family, but due to her arrogance and ignorance my own family members have distanced her and continue to talk to me or meet me outside, she has gone to the extent saying she wants to get out of the relationship and i had borrowed money due to my hardtimes and she keeps saying she wants money to be returned so that she steps out and want to stay independently with her kids, I am also fed up and completely lost being away from my kids and my mother Is it advisable to go for divorce or just seperation will do, or can a bond paper specifiying that i have returned her money and have ended this relationship and no claims further will be entertained, can i have this - Pls guide, its better to stay single and take care of my own kids and mother than being away from them and taking care of other kids as own...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's a lot of mess...where and how things went downhill is something that you surely know. Take care of the children first. The kid are caught in the middle of all of this.
Yours and hers as well...
Sadly, she hasn't matured to understand the concept of embracing your children as her own but wants to cling on to you and literally draw a wedge between you and your family.
RED FLAG, right there...

Now, you need to think about how all this is affecting the children and the impact it is having in your daily life. Is there a way by which this lady will be able to understand that you all will be one big unit; children, the two of you and your family and hers as well...If she is prepared for this, then it gets easy on everyone but if her insecurities are going to get the better of her, this is a bigger mess that you could have ever imagined.
Have a frank talk and clearly state the people who are important to you and that you wish to be connected to them just as she wants her children to be a part of her life.
Hear what she has to say and then I guess, you will know what to do as your ask and want is clear in your mind. The best relationships are the ones that bring people together and nourishes them.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |518 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I’m 36M, I met a girl in my office, who works in the same department. It was love at first site for me, but I was scared to tell her that. As time passed, I used to strike some casual conversations with her or her team to connect with her and there were some clear signs that she liked me, for example, she would call me or text me why I’m not talking to her if I didn’t message her for some time (a week) or she would ask me if I was coming to office as we were working Hybrid if not she would also not come to office. But she always refused to come out with me for a movie or date/meet saying she had a very strict family and cannot come out other than office. I used to think that this was a real thing. But all this went on until her birthday arrived. I got some gift to give her on her birthday only to know that she suddenly stopped talking to me, no replies to my messages, calls or anything. At first, I was bit concerned if there was any problem or if she was in any trouble. But little did I know it was not the case at this time. After few (many) attempts trying to reach her. I though maybe she could be busy or something and I understood may be if I did not disturb her, she might call back. Time went on I again met her after 4 or 5 months in Office with no contact. By this time, I had already realised there was something wrong and she had already lost interest in me. But still I felt like I wanted to have a closure on this and I went on and gave the gift and proposed her, that is when she told me that she was in a relationship with some other person for 4 years. This blew my mind to pieces, as I was thinking why would someone shows any sort of interest on someone when they are already in relationship with some other person. I tried to move away from her after this incident, but fate we still are working in the same department and that I have to see her more often than not. I still have strong feelings for her, but I cannot show this to her and worst act normal. Whenever I see her, I want to talk to her and If I talk to her, I fall for her again and again. But she is happy and casual about all this as if there was not casualty in whole of this thing. Even now she asks me if I’m coming to office so that she could meet me. So, through all this, I have some questions 1. Why does a women show any sort of Interest on someone else when she is already in a relationship, so she can use me as a options and throw away when done 2. How do I move on, as I did not love her for some superficial features, rather I really liked her character, and that is the worst as I feel like I’ll never be able to find anyone like her in my life. Feeling down for a long time now. I’m already 36, feels like all the doors have closed for me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are hurt and upset, and rightfully so. You thought she liked you but turns out, she is with someone else. It's a good enough ground to be upset. But I want you to understand one thing- you thought; she never gave you verbal confirmation. You assumed it all. So to answer your first question- all of her interest in you might have been friendly. It is difficult for me to say it with confidence because I have not seen any of this while it happened; I am only hearing your version of it. But my guess is that she thought of you as a friend or maybe, for a while there, she might have had feelings for you, but then realized that she was committed and pulled herself back. Again, all of these are my assumptions. We do not know the truth. Only she does. The next time, whenever you think someone likes you, get verbal confirmation before you act on it.

I understand that whether she showed friendly interest and you mistook it for romantic interest or she actually showed romantic interest and ghosted you, your pain remains the same because everything was real and romantic from your end. I suggest that you focus on yourself. It's unfortunate that you have to see her every day, but so be it. Take it one day at a time. Stick with your friends in your office. Find some hobby that makes you happy and when you are ready to move on, be open to finding love. I understand that this experience was bad, but it won't be the same way every time.

Best wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |518 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2025
Relationship
Hi..., I feel in love with a muslim girl. I wasn't planned, it just happened I love her exactly the way she is, unconditionally, deeply, endlessly. For the last six years, Six years of loving her without expecting anything in return, without asking for anything but the chance to admire her from a distance. Every smile, every word, every little thing about her has been etched into my heart like poetry. I never saw her religion or background—only her beautiful soul. My love for her has always been pure, unconditional, and endless. It’s not about possessing her, it’s about cherishing her, even if it means keeping my feelings hidden all this time. But six years is a long time, and my heart is heavy with this love that I’ve kept inside. Should I finally tell her what I feel? Should I risk everything to let her know how much she means to me, even if it changes everything? Love knows no boundaries, no religion, no rules—it just is. But society doesn’t think the same way. What would you do if you were in my place? After six years of love, how do you decide what’s right for the person you love?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It does not matter what anyone else would do in your place or what society thinks. All that matters is what you think and want to do. If you have genuine feelings for her, what's stopping you from expressing them to her? If you don't tell her, how would you know if everything is going to change for the good or bad? Do as your heart wants. After all, you are not harming anyone.

Best wishes.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7742 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I am a 36 years old man, father of 2 (5y & 2y), Our income is 40Lacs pa post tax addition to that we have a rental income of 50K pm, our monthly expense is around 40K which is taken care by rents. Doing a SIP of 2.5 lac with total investment of 28L , have a RD of 25 L, ULIP -10L, Gold- 50L, I want to be financially independent in next 10 years. No loan , no credit cards., Has a medical policy of 25L. Emergency fund of 10L. Please advice how i can achieve financial independence in next 10 years.
Ans: 1. Understanding Your Financial Position
You are 36 years old with a goal of financial independence in 10 years.

Your annual post-tax income is Rs 40 lakh, with an additional rental income of Rs 50,000 per month.

Your monthly expenses are Rs 40,000, which are fully covered by rental income.

Your current investments include:

Rs 2.5 lakh SIP per month
Rs 28 lakh in mutual funds
Rs 25 lakh in RD
Rs 10 lakh in ULIP
Rs 50 lakh in gold
Rs 10 lakh emergency fund
You have no loans or credit cards, which is a strong financial position.

Your health insurance is Rs 25 lakh, which is good but may need a review later.

2. Defining Financial Independence
Financial independence means having passive income that covers all expenses.

You need enough wealth to generate returns that sustain your lifestyle.

Your target should be to build a portfolio that provides stable income after 10 years.

3. Optimising Your Current Investments
Mutual Funds – Increase Allocation
Your Rs 2.5 lakh SIP is excellent, but it needs active management.

Actively managed funds provide better returns than index funds.

Direct mutual funds lack professional management. Investing through an MFD with CFP credential helps maximise returns.

Maintain a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds for stability and growth.

Recurring Deposit (RD) – Shift to Growth Assets
Rs 25 lakh in RD earns lower returns compared to equity.

Consider shifting RD funds gradually into mutual funds for better compounding.

Keep only a portion in fixed-income instruments for stability.

ULIP – Consider Surrendering
ULIPs mix insurance with investment, which reduces returns.

Surrendering and reinvesting in mutual funds can improve returns significantly.

Keep insurance separate from investments for better wealth creation.

Gold – Maintain a Balanced Allocation
Rs 50 lakh in gold is a significant portion of your portfolio.

Gold is good for diversification but does not generate passive income.

Consider reducing gold exposure and reallocating to growth-oriented assets.

4. Asset Allocation for Financial Independence
A well-diversified portfolio ensures long-term stability and wealth growth.

Your asset allocation can be:

60% in equity mutual funds
20% in debt funds and bonds
10% in gold and other assets
10% in liquid funds for short-term needs
Adjust allocation every year based on market performance.

5. Passive Income Strategy
Your goal is to generate passive income through investments.

SIPs will build a strong equity base over the next 10 years.

A mix of mutual funds and debt instruments will provide steady cash flow.

Rental income already covers monthly expenses, which is an advantage.

After 10 years, your investments should generate returns covering all financial needs.

6. Emergency Fund and Insurance Review
Emergency Fund
Your Rs 10 lakh emergency fund is good.

Keep this amount in liquid funds or fixed deposits for easy access.

Maintain at least six months of expenses as a backup.

Health Insurance
Your Rs 25 lakh health cover is decent, but medical costs rise over time.

Consider increasing coverage to Rs 50 lakh if affordable.

Ensure it covers critical illness and long-term care needs.

7. Retirement and Children’s Education Planning
Retirement Planning
Financial independence should include a secure retirement plan.

Your investments will continue growing even after achieving independence.

Keep investing to ensure financial security beyond the next 10 years.

Children’s Education
Education costs will rise significantly over time.

Start a dedicated investment plan for your children’s higher education.

Equity mutual funds with a long-term horizon will help meet this goal.

8. Tax Efficiency and Wealth Preservation
Efficient tax planning ensures you maximise post-tax returns.

Long-term capital gains tax is lower on equity investments.


Regularly review your tax liability to optimise investment returns.

9. Monitoring and Adjusting the Plan
Review your portfolio every six months.

Rebalance investments if market conditions change.

Keep track of financial independence progress based on wealth accumulation.

10. Final Insights
Your financial position is strong, and your goal is achievable.

Shifting from low-return assets to equity will help in long-term wealth creation.

Active management of investments will ensure better returns and financial security.

Keep insurance separate from investments to avoid lower returns.

A disciplined approach to investing and spending will lead to financial independence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Harsh

Harsh Bharwani  |73 Answers  |Ask -

Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Jan 31, 2025

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Career
Hi what business can I start with 20000rs?
Ans: Hello Mr. Anuj,
Starting a business in India with a budget of ?20,000 is entirely possible with strategic planning, local market research, and minimal infrastructure. Whether you prefer a home-based model, freelancing, or product-based business, several viable options can generate steady income. Here’s a detailed guide to ten promising business ideas tailored for the Indian market.

Online Reselling via Dropshipping
Dropshipping allows you to sell products without holding inventory. Popular categories include eco-friendly products, ethnic jewellery, and mobile accessories. Profit margins range from 30–50%, but success depends on social media marketing and supplier reliability.

Freelancing Services
If you have skills in content writing, graphic design, or video editing, freelancing can be a lucrative option. A laptop and internet connection are the only real requirements. Building a strong online presence on LinkedIn or Fiverr can help secure consistent clients.

Home Tutoring/Coaching
With increasing competition in academics, home tutoring is a stable business. Charging ?1,000–2,000 per student per month ensures recurring income. The demand peaks during exam seasons, making it a great long-term option.

Event Decoration
Event decoration, especially in Tier-2 and Tier-3 cities, is a creative and profitable business. Specializing in birthday parties, anniversaries, and wedding decor can help build a niche. However, the business is seasonal.

Customized Printing
Selling custom-printed T-shirts, mugs, and gifts online is a trendy business. With social media marketing, you can attract college students and young professionals who love personalized products. However, printer maintenance costs should be considered.

Key Tips for Success
Legal Compliance: Register as a sole proprietorship for hassle-free operations.
Smart Marketing: Use WhatsApp Business, Instagram Reels, and Google My Business for cost-effective promotions.
Cost Control: Rent equipment (e.g., cloud kitchens) instead of buying to minimize overheads.
Customer Feedback: Focus on refining offerings based on customer preferences.
Start Small, Scale Later: Test your business model before making large investments.
With careful planning, minimal investment, and the right strategy, starting a business with ?20,000 in India is not only possible but also profitable. Choose a business aligned with your skills and local market demand, and take the first step toward entrepreneurship today!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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