I'm 58 now, since he age of 18 I was in love with a neighborhood girl. She was Hindu but I a christian. Her family was comparatively well to do . This prompted me to keep myself from expressing my feelings, I got myself a job and waited to have some financial independence. In the meanwhile she fell in love with someone else and also moved to the US, I was too late in expressing my feelings to her, and I told her under the condition we remain friends. After she moved we kept in touch thro' letters or an occasional phone call in the late 1980's. In the begining of the 1990's both of us got married to different partners , but continued to keep in touch as friends, which both our partners were aware. We used to meet personally whenever she would come to India, which was once in a year or sometimes even 2/3 years. We both have 2 boys each and the boys are now in their 20's. A couple of years ago she got divorced as her partner was in a physical relationship with someone else. In the meanwhile I continued with my wife even though we were totally incompatible and we literally hate each other. We didn't think of divorce coz of social pressures and in my case I've gifted her a major chunk of my immoveable assets but I earn rent on these properties which helps me meet y daily expenses. Over the last 2 years I had 2 heart attacks. the second one brought us both very close as she was concerned about my health, she came down to India and spent a few days motivating me to lead a healthier life, which co incidentally my wife never does, instead blames and nags me on my lifestyle. We have never had a physical relationship, at the most when we meet it's a warm peck on the cheek or just holding hands. Now I am getting back to my teenage years, I'm madly in love with her and want her. I know for sure if I do that my children would disown me and I'll lose a large part of my property which gives me a earning. I want her. I'm right now confused, illogical and very emotional.

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!