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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Jan 13, 2022Hindi
Relationship

Hi Love Guru.
Please keep my identity as anonymous as possible. 
I have few issues going on in my mind and want your suggestions.
First, to get out of block and unblock chain.
I met a girl who is my brother’s friend in 2017. We started chatting on FB, then exchanged numbers.
We had a rapport till six months. There was a unique attachment between us during that period. Not chatting with her for even one day would make me uneasy.
In October 2017, her engagement was fixed. I was normal, knowing that there cannot be much between us except being in contact.
One day, at the end of our talk, she said, Love you. I laughed, saying “What nonsense that you always call me with different weird names. Now, after your engagement is fixed, you are telling me this.”
Then, she blocked me on WhatsApp and I really felt like I was in a cage. Then, after a few days, she unblocked me.
She got engaged but, after a few months, her engagement broke.
We then again got in good contact. After few months her marriage got fixed.
Now she is married. After her marriage, our contact was very, very less as priorities changed. I proceeded with my studies and job and she carried on with her personal and professional life.
Two months back, she called me and said I am bored and feeling irritated with life so I called you to freshen my mind. I was also happy talking to her.
I am that kind of introvert person who opens up with few and she was among them.
For one or two weeks, we used to talk 30 to 45 minutes daily.
Suddenly, she blocked me on WhatsApp. I called her and she behaved like a stranger to me -- like who’s this, I don’t know you, who you are and she ended the call and blocked me.
Till date, she has blocked me.
I think there are many things she is hiding from me -- from why her first engagement broke to marring another guy who is not of her caste when she is from a conservative family 
Post her engagement, there were many times she blocked and unblocked me. She is running in my mind. I want to get rid of her. Please suggest how and what shall I talk to her so I get an end to this.
Thank you for bearing to read all this.
My second issue is I think I am addicted to pornography.
Two to three years back, I used to watch a lot of porn and would prefer MILF porn, ie senior pornstars videos.
I think, due to this, I don’t get much attracted to girls of my age. I respect them but I think, because of my addiction, I see females elder to me attractive rather than females of my age.
Please help. Suggest how I shall get out of this as this also affects me academically, personally and professionally.
Thank you,
Anon

Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

I don’t think you really have any serious problems in your life at all; it’s your perceptions that are all wrong.

Let me straighten this out for you, one issue at a time.

First off, you have one weird, unpredictable friend who once told you she loved you and then went and married someone else.

Not once have you stated that you are in love with her or have feelings for her. In fact, when she said she loved you, you brushed it off.

She contacts you when she’s bored and cuts you off when she’s not.

And now, it’s come to the point where you really need to be the one blocking her and not the other way around...

You want to get rid of her? Block her once and for all. And if she still manages to get in touch, tell her politely that you have had enough of this one-sided friendship and not to contact you again.

Second, about what you think is a porn ‘addiction’... An addiction is something that interferes with your normal life, career and relationships. It’s an obsession that consumes you every waking hour.

And, from what you’ve said, I don’t think you’re watching such volumes of pornography every day, are you?

Furthermore, unless you’re into grannies, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being attracted to women older than you... everyone has a type!

If after everything I’ve said you still fancy you have problems, I’d suggest visiting a therapist. But before spending that kind of money, think long and hard about what I’ve said and decide for yourself whether you think you need it.

 

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

Relationship
Hello Sir or Madam. Please keep me as anonymous only. Let me tell my story. I am 29 now. Work for an MNC for the past six years. From middle class family with big circle. Before going to speak out on my problem, let me tell my nature, how I was brought up, studies and attitude. Since we are middle class family with no financial crisis, I never seen ups and downs in Life accordingly. In the case of studies, I was topper at all levels of education till MBA from reputed institute. I was like love is trash n waste of time. When I used to hear all love stories, I used to feel pity on them. But I did maintain very good relationship with many, many girls (not GF type). But now I am going through the hell just because of one girl whom I was forcibly loved her and later I addicted to her with true love. During COVID I had to go WFH for two years. She visited her granny’s house and stayed back for few weeks. They live in Bangalore. I have never seen her face or noticed her during the time when she stayed. But she noticed, observed and enquired about me. So once she left to Bangalore, she sent FB request and I accepted. Immediately we have exchanged numbers and started texting ‘n’ talking. Initially I rejected her since she is eight years junior to me. Later she emotionally told once as she lost her father very recently and she just don’t want to go into depression again if I reject her. I got convinced and started loving truly. I replaced her father in her life which she used to tell. One day, she got caught by her brother while she was on call with me. Since we belong to different castes, they rejected me. She got house arrested. There was no connection between us. First time in life I fell into depression. I lost my job after just three weeks when she got separated from me. I was unable to speak anyone in the world. My family ‘n’ circle was afraid as I may do harm to myself for her. On December 16, 2021, I tried to commit suicide by writing a letter in laptop to her telling how I was missing her ‘n’ needed her. Took print and left to railway track to die. I took alcohol and was on the track. Someone rescued me and took me to hometown from Bangalore with PAN card address which was in my purse. Every day I was losing hope on my life. Finally I got call from her number in the first week of Jan. I was happy and cried like anything with her on call. She told that she would never leave me alone whatever happens ‘n’ who ever tries to separate us. Again, I took my energy ‘n’ hopes back and started job searching. There was 1 month gap again until Feb 8, 2022. After that she used to call me whenever it is possible. From March 15 to March 31, she kept fighting with me over call and spoken mercilessly. There was no kindness or love or concern on me. Again, I lost hope on my life. She kept asking me to stay away from her. She knew that I cannot initiate contact from my end, since she only should do whenever she able to do. Day by day, I am losing interest on my Life. I left the job. Now I’m alone with her thoughts and words spoken by her. My family n circle knew all this drama what’s going on. They hate me for losing self-respect for a girl. But I have never seen that girl as a girl. I am addicted to alcohol, day ‘n’ night drinking and surviving. I knew she won’t come back if I ruin my life like this by drinking ‘n’ all. But I just can’t control myself over her. The promises which she made me were gone... But still I stand for her, for what I promised. I begged the girl like anything not to leave me alone. I just can’t digest that she won’t be no more for me. N number of the times I used to tell her that You are my first priority over all in my life, like family, siblings, money, career and what not. Most of the times I told her that I’ll commit suicide for you if I come to know that you are not there for me. It doesn’t mean that I am an emotional fool who does not know how to live or unable to get another girl. But you have such significance in my life. I elaborated as much as I can. But she never listened me. I am just wonder where was her sweet words ‘n’ promises, what’s the reality now? I am upset with me -- where was original me and who I am now without self-respect. My parents ‘n’ siblings are forcing me to give up on her. As per them, she is just a golddigger and cheater without love and trust... My mind n heart never ever forgets her. Don’t know the future. But many times I pray God to kill me in sleep itself without pain so I can reach Venkateshwara... Entire world is against that girl, but I am defending her at every passing moment. Human beings invented many amazing things. My wish is we should be available with tablets or injection which can erase memories which belongs to particular person or for particular time in life... The real enemy to the human beings is LOVE.... Finally I am just waiting for my death... I knew that she won’t realise even if I die also. But I should sleep forever and ever just because for the crime I did love her.... Dear Bujji, it’s for you. I am also a human being as like U. As like your mother, even my mother has given birth to me. Finally, no words.... I am alone... Memories are hunting me.... chasing me... Love Guru, please publish this story as it is. Because someone may going through hell with similar story at least they will read the Q&A as well. Love Guru... I hate me... I do have all with me -- good health, 21 LPA job now, stabilised family and friends ‘n’ family circle... But this bloody struggling to get her love amongst the 7 billion people on this Earth... Love Guru, I feel that I lost. I am feeling low... I got cheated by her... Finally I am nothing to her. Dear readers, don’t think that why this fool is suffering for a girl like this.... I have seen her my GODDESS... Thank you... Have a nice day…
Ans:

You’ve needlessly wound yourself up over a silly girl.

You don’t even sound like you’ve had a physical relationship, it was only long distance, so what are you getting so out of joint for? A few intimate conversations with someone who said one thing but meant another?

If things in your life are spiralling so much out of control, I’d suggest therapy.

Stop drinking before it becomes a real problem. It sounds like you’re doing this to yourself deliberately, so that you receive some attention from her.

But the more you do this, the worse the situation will get. And no woman wants an out-of-control, desperate, alcoholic lover!

For heavens’ sake, man, get a hold of yourself and, if you can’t, then get the professional help you need. 

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am Jose. I have a very complicated relationship issue. I loved a girl when I was about 18, she was from a financially better off family. This was a major reason that I hesitated to tell her about my love, instead remained a friend. She was better qualified too. I started working and wanted to be in a financially better situation before I confessed my love for her. In the meanwhile she got herself admitted in a college in the US, I decided to tell her, but was too late, she had already committed herself to her senior in college. We made a promise to each other that we will remain friends. We kept in touch through letters. Then I decided to get married as per the family wishes. Shortly she too got married to her boyfriend . We told our partners about each other. We continued to keep in touch thro email and phone calls once/twice in a year. We would meet once or twice every time she would visit from the US. We never had any physical relationship at the most it would be a peck on the cheek or just holding hands. We immersed ourselves in our personal / professional lives. We had 2 sons with our partners. Now the boys are in their 20's. In the meanwhile she found out her husband was having a relationship with some other woman, in the ensuing arguments it led to their divorce a couple of years back. Since 2021 I had 2 heart attacks, and survived. All these years I never had a happy life , we stayed together due to societal pressures and in the last 2 years we never had a physical relation too. She always had a hatred towards physical relationship. I hate forcing myself on her, so we have remained seperate in the last few years. After my 2nd attack, my friend helped me stop my smoking and somehow our chats on whatsapp or personal meets when she comes here have started becoming very mushy and with a lots of deeply loving words. I know I cannot divorce my wife as I would lose a lot of my immovable properties on which i depend for my rental income as I have actually gifted my wife a lot of my properties. Nowadays I am getting drawn towards my friend again and very strongly. Confused, and not knowing how to proceed. I am no longer working and depend on rentals for my earnings.
Ans: My dear friend,

It sounds like you're in a very complicated situation, and it's understandable that you feel confused and unsure about how to proceed. It's important to take some time to really think about what you want and what's best for you, as well as consider the impact of your actions on those around you.

First, it's important to acknowledge that your friend is currently in a vulnerable position after going through a divorce. While it's natural to feel drawn towards her, it's important to make sure that any actions you take are respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs.

At the same time, it's also important to consider your own needs and desires. You mentioned feeling unhappy in your current relationship and feeling drawn towards your friend again. It's important to really examine those feelings and think about what it is that you want in your life and your relationships.

However, it's also important to consider the potential consequences of your actions. You mentioned that you cannot divorce your wife without losing a significant amount of your income, and that you've already gifted her a lot of your properties. It's important to consider the financial and emotional impact that divorce could have on both you and your wife, as well as any children or other family members who may be affected.

One possible option could be to explore couples therapy or marriage counseling to see if there are ways to improve your current relationship and address the issues that have been causing unhappiness. It's also important to communicate openly and honestly with your friend about your feelings, but to do so in a way that is respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs as well.

Ultimately, the decision about how to proceed is up to you, but it's important to take the time to really think things through and consider all the potential consequences of your actions.
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Mam. I like a girl precisely 23 years back through one of my relative. We met quite often.she was from different city. She confessed that she loves me and we were going good. The meetings used to happen only with the knowledge of my relative. One day I called her and requested for a meeting without the knowledge of my relative . There she confessed that she loves somebody else. It was shocking . I supported her and she went back to her boyfriend. I dont know what happened between them afterwards.As the time passed we married to different spouses. In 2016 she mailed me.( requesting for my number and for a meeting). We met and there she confessed that she does not love her husband. I asked about her boyfriend . She said that they are facebook friends. After that we talked quite often. We met also many times. Three years back I realised that she is still in touch with her boyfriend and they both are liking each other post and profile pics and used to talk long on whatsapp calls. When I confronted her she said that she still have feelings for each other.Lately she has started defending him and used to put status on whatsapp only where they both have good times. I can see that. I dont know how their spouses are reacting when they like each other post and pics. Myself and my wife had an arranged marriage . We are poles apart on many things. Somehow we both are managing our lives. She knew my past. What is bothering me Mam that she has only treated me as time pass. I gave her so much of my time. I Respect her. She has always used the word parallel ( for me and her boyfriend). Though she has hided me from her husband , but once I met him because she wanted that.Her boyfriend is in all her groups and social media apps like fb, insta. Kindly suggest me what should I do. Its an old feeling. Though we have moved on.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When you have realized that she is using you as a 'Time Pass', why exactly are you still mulling over the whole issue?
Do you still want to be her 'only available person' when she chooses to connect with you?
Going weak with feelings now from 23 years back doesn't really make sense, does it?

She hasn't quite figured out who she is with or who she wants to be with. (That's what I can gather from what you have shared in your email). So, why are you putting yourself in the equation as one the one men around her?
Take yourself out of it and focus on your life and its happenings. You and your wife maybe poles apart, but that need not be a reason to be someone's 'Time Pass.'

If you say that you have moved on, then truly move on. No point wasting your time on the past and someone from the past who has little respect for you, your feelings or your time.

All the best!
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |177 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |909 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Namaste Kirtan Sir, I have Started SIP 2014 with one fund, but started really focusing on from last 2 years with multiple fund and also increased the top-up on few fund. New SIP Fund Details 1. Aditya Birla Sun Life Gold Fund - Gr : 2500 from Jan-2024 2. Kotak Business Cycle Fund - Gr : 2000 from Oct-2022 3. NJ ELSS Tax Saver Scheme - Gr : 3000 from Aug-2023 4. SBI Blue Chip Fund - Gr : 2500 from Jan-2024 Existing SIP Fund & TOP up 5. Baroda BNP Paribas India Consumption Fund - Gr : 1500 from Sept-2022 & Top Up from Jan-2024 6. Nippon India Flexi Cap Fund - Gr : 1500 Started from Sept-2022 & Top Up from Jan-2024 7. Tata Equity P/E Fund Gr : 2000 from July-2014 & Top Up from Jan-2024 Total of 20k SIP Can you just review my portfolio and guide us wither investment is on right fund. Thank you in advance Rohith Adiga
Ans: Rohith,

It's commendable to see your dedication towards building a diversified investment portfolio through SIPs. Reviewing your portfolio is crucial to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance.

Firstly, let me appreciate your proactive approach in diversifying your investments across multiple funds. This spreads risk and enhances potential returns. However, it's essential to periodically evaluate the performance of each fund and make adjustments as necessary.

Consider factors like fund performance, consistency, fund manager's track record, and investment objectives. Additionally, assess whether your portfolio reflects your risk appetite and investment horizon.

Remember, investing is a journey, not a destination. Stay informed, stay patient, and stay committed to your financial goals. Regularly review and rebalance your portfolio to adapt to changing market conditions and personal circumstances.

As a Certified Financial Planner, my role is to guide you on this journey, providing insights and recommendations tailored to your unique situation. Feel free to reach out for further assistance or clarification.

Wishing you success in your investment journey!
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |909 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello Sir, I am 46 Y old . Recently i lost my job and serching for Job . I have 3 Flats , 80 L , 80L, 1.5 Cr . I have loan of 2 nd flat 6 L and Vila Loan 1,18 Cr . I have savings 15 L Mutual Fund, 9 L FD. 10L Govenment bonds, 17.5 L PPF(Eife). 7.5 L PPF(Myself), 2.5L gold bond, 2.5 L shares. EPF 72 L . I require 40 L for my daugter education in 4 year Span starting from 2024-2028. I require 40 L for my son education 2028-2032. If i sell my two flats and do loan free the Vila , I left with 40 L . I see visiblity of 30 L for my son and daughter education and left with 1.2Cr as saving . For house hold my wife earn 52 K which is ok for us monthy usage. Please help me a programe so that i can full fill my retirement objection ( 50K) per month . I may get job or not but want to secure the future of children as wella s my retietment . Please suggest .
Ans: I understand your situation and your desire to secure your children's education and your retirement. Let's outline a plan to achieve your objectives:

Education Fund for Children:
You have visibility of 30 lakhs for your children's education, which is a good start. To bridge the gap, consider allocating a portion of your remaining savings towards an education fund. You can invest in diversified mutual funds or fixed income instruments based on your risk tolerance and investment horizon.
Additionally, explore scholarship opportunities and educational loans to reduce the financial burden.
Debt Management:
Selling two flats to become loan-free on the villa is a prudent move to reduce debt burden. It will also free up cash flow for other financial goals.
Consider refinancing or restructuring the villa loan to reduce interest payments and accelerate debt repayment.
Retirement Planning:
With 1.2 crores in savings, you can create a retirement corpus through systematic investments in a combination of equity and debt instruments.
Allocate a portion of your savings towards diversified equity mutual funds for long-term growth potential. Aim for a balanced portfolio to manage risk effectively.
Consider investing in debt instruments like PPF, government bonds, and fixed deposits for stability and regular income during retirement.
Maximize contributions to EPF or consider opening a Voluntary Provident Fund (VPF) account to enhance retirement savings.
Emergency Fund:
Maintain an adequate emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months of living expenses to handle unforeseen circumstances without dipping into long-term investments.
Review and Adjust:
Regularly review your financial plan and make adjustments based on changes in income, expenses, and market conditions.
Stay disciplined with your savings and investment strategy to achieve your financial goals effectively.
It's important to remain optimistic about your job search while simultaneously focusing on securing your family's future. Consider seeking guidance from a certified financial planner to tailor a comprehensive financial plan aligned with your specific circumstances and objectives. With careful planning and disciplined execution, you can work towards a secure and prosperous future for yourself and your family.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |909 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Money
Hello sir, i am 32 years old and just started a SIP investment of 7K per month for the following funds for wealth creation for next 10 - 15 years. Core portfolio (60%) 1. Parag Parikh flexicap fund - 1.5K 2. JM Flexicap - 2K 3. Navi Nifty 50 - 0.5K Satellite portfolio (40%) 1. Kotak Emerging Equity Fund - 0.8K 2. JM Midcap fund - 1K 3. Tata smallcap fund - 0.7K 4. Edelweiss midcap 150 momentum 50 - 0.5K Could please review and advise me whether the above funds is to be considered good. Please provide some suggestions if changes required.
Ans: Your SIP portfolio seems well-diversified across various categories of equity funds, which is a good approach for long-term wealth creation. Let's review each fund and provide some suggestions:

Core Portfolio (60%):

Parag Parikh Flexicap Fund: This fund follows a flexible investment approach across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. It's known for its quality stock selection and has delivered consistent returns over the years.
JM Flexicap Fund: Another flexi-cap fund, providing exposure to companies across market capitalizations. Ensure you review its performance and consistency compared to peers.
Navi Nifty 50: Investing in an index fund like Navi Nifty 50 provides exposure to India's top 50 companies. It's a low-cost option with a focus on large-cap stocks.
Satellite Portfolio (40%):

Kotak Emerging Equity Fund: This fund focuses on emerging companies with high growth potential. Review its performance and ensure it aligns with your risk appetite.
JM Midcap Fund: Mid-cap funds like JM Midcap can offer higher growth potential but come with higher volatility. Monitor its performance and risk closely.
Tata Smallcap Fund: Investing in small-cap funds can provide exposure to high-growth companies. Ensure you're comfortable with the risk associated with small-cap investing.
Edelweiss Midcap 150 Momentum 50: This fund follows a momentum-based investment strategy, focusing on mid-cap stocks showing positive price momentum. Understand its investment approach and risk profile.
Suggestions:

Monitor Performance: Regularly review the performance of your funds and ensure they're meeting your expectations. Consider replacing underperforming funds with better alternatives.
Risk Management: Given the higher allocation to mid-cap and small-cap funds in your portfolio, be prepared for higher volatility. Ensure your risk tolerance aligns with the risk profile of these funds.
Review Fund Selection: Consider diversifying across fund houses to reduce concentration risk. Also, consider adding an international equity fund or a debt fund for further diversification.
Long-Term Perspective: Stay focused on your long-term investment horizon and avoid making knee-jerk reactions based on short-term market movements.
Overall, your SIP portfolio appears well-structured for wealth creation over the next 10-15 years. However, regularly monitoring and reviewing your portfolio's performance is essential to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals and risk tolerance. Consider consulting with a financial advisor for personalized guidance based on your individual circumstances.
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Sushil

Sushil Sukhwani  |323 Answers  |Ask -

Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 27, 2024Hindi
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Career
Good morning sir, my daughter is in btech. ECE final semister, can I send for ms in abroad, or any job related courses in India, my daughter also not much intrested to go abroad. Kindly suggest better way.
Ans: Hello,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am glad to hear that your daughter is pursuing the final semester of her Bachelor of Technology in Electronics and Communication Engineering. To answer your question first, I would like to tell you that we only deal with overseas education. Yes, you can definitely send your daughter abroad to pursue her Master's. I would like to tell you that owing to their renowned universities, top-notch education, and vast array of opportunities, a number of countries are well-known for pursuing Master of Science (MS) degrees abroad. With its vast array of top-tier universities and research centres, the USA continues to be a sought-after destination for pursuing MS programs spanning different disciplines. Likewise, a number of international students are also drawn to countries viz., the UK, Canada, Germany, Australia, and Switzerland owing to their cutting-edge academic programs, culturally diverse settings, and significant focus on innovation and research. You would be glad to know that MS students are offered distinct advantages and opportunities in these countries, in turn, making them highly popular destinations for individuals looking for further education overseas.

As mentioned by you, if your daughter is not interested in pursuing a Master's abroad, I would suggest that she looks into other possibilities that best resonate with her interests and professional objectives. Post finishing her Bachelor of Technology (B.Tech) degree, she could think about acquiring professional experience via internships or entry-level work in her field of interest. Gaining this practical experience can prove beneficial for her career growth and may help her determine her professional path. In order to improve her abilities and credentials without committing to a full-time Master's program overseas, she could also look into advanced certifications or specialized courses. Lastly, I would suggest that you motivate your daughter to investigate these possibilities and assist her in discovering her true calling, which in turn, could result in a gratifying and prosperous professional path.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Anu

Anu Krishna  |825 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2024Hindi
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? rediff.com Rediff Gurus Logo Hi Anwesha | Sign Out HealthHealth MoneyMoney RelationshipRelationship CareesCareer Ask your questions about health, money, relationship or careers here Ask Anonymously You posted: My boyfriend's ex happens to be his sister-in law's sister (first cousin). That was his first serious relationship and she had dumped him. It has been quite a few years since, but it bothers me that he is indirectly still related to her. My boyfriend's sister-in-law has a daughter (his niece) whom he loves very much. But whenever he talks to his sister in law or plays with the kid, it makes me uncomfortable. I am broadly uncomfortable with the fact that he is the uncle to the same kid his ex is aunt to. Which means they are somewhat familialy related. I have seen his ex post videos of the kid playing around in his house, which means she still gets regular updates about his household through her sister (his sister-in-law). I really don't want to get into something this complicated, but I love my boyfriend very much. He also loves the kid a lot which makes me hate myself for projecting my hate on the kid/sister-in law because they're not at fault. But it really bothers me whenever I hear the kid's voice or his sister in law's because that reminds me of his ex. I feel extremely insecure and uncomfortable and I don't know how to deal with this, but I really want things to work out between my boyfriend and me. What is the solution?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, this feeling ain't going away that soon as you are bordering on obsession possibly without reason.
Jealousy leading to insecurities and constantly monitoring him is only going to make it worse on you...so either you trust him or you don't...which is it going to be?
Has he given you any reason to doubt him OR is it only your fear and hate fueling it? If it's the ex coming along and bringing with it all the fears inside of you, then work at it before you make this really ugly and now it's in your hands.
Jealousy is a normal human emotion BUT how you deal with it is a choice you are going to have to make. So, start to reassure yourself by saying that it's all okay and good. Challenge your thoughts every time they crop up so that it doesn't grow large enough for you to start projecting. Talk to your boyfriend requesting him to be more patient with you if at all you snap at him for anything. But not for long as he will run out of patience.
If there is nothing going on between him and his ex, why is it taking you so much to trust him? More than a love, a relationship needs trust and understanding. Pour these into it and not only will you feel better, your boyfriend will also be more supportive of what you are going through. Trust or not; it's your choice!

All the best!
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |909 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Hi Kirtan, I am 45 now. I am looking for a pension plan. I can invest upto Rs 5000 per month. Should I go in NPS or LIC? What are pro and cons for both?
Ans: Considering your age and investment amount, NPS (National Pension System) could be a preferable option over LIC for a pension plan. Here's a breakdown of the pros and cons of each:

NPS (National Pension System):
Pros:

Flexibility: NPS offers flexibility in choosing investment options, including equity, corporate bonds, and government securities, allowing you to tailor your portfolio based on your risk tolerance and investment goals.
Tax Benefits: Contributions to NPS are eligible for tax deductions under Section 80C, with an additional deduction of up to Rs. 50,000 under Section 80CCD(1B). Additionally, partial and lump-sum withdrawals are tax-exempt up to certain limits.
Low Cost: NPS has a relatively low-cost structure compared to traditional pension plans, with competitive fund management charges.
Cons:

Lock-in Period: NPS has a lock-in period until retirement age, with limited withdrawal options before that. Early withdrawals are subject to restrictions and penalties.
Market Risk: Since NPS invests in market-linked instruments, such as equities, there's a level of market risk involved. Returns may fluctuate based on market performance.
Limited Annuity Options: The annuity options under NPS may be limited compared to traditional pension plans offered by insurance companies like LIC.
LIC (Life Insurance Corporation):
Pros:

Guaranteed Returns: LIC pension plans typically offer guaranteed returns, providing a sense of security and predictability in retirement income.
Death Benefit: Some LIC pension plans come with a death benefit, ensuring that your nominee receives a lump sum or annuity in case of your demise.
Wide Range of Annuity Options: LIC offers a wide range of annuity options, allowing you to choose a plan that best suits your retirement needs and preferences.
Cons:

Lower Flexibility: LIC pension plans may offer limited flexibility compared to NPS in terms of investment options and withdrawal flexibility.
Higher Costs: Traditional pension plans from LIC may have higher costs compared to NPS, including administration charges and agent commissions.
Limited Tax Benefits: While premiums paid towards LIC pension plans are eligible for tax deduction under Section 80C, the overall tax benefits may be limited compared to NPS.
In conclusion, NPS tends to offer more advantages over LIC for a pension plan, given its flexibility, tax benefits, and lower costs. However, considering the potential advantages of mutual funds over NPS in terms of flexibility and potentially higher returns, you may also explore mutual fund options for your retirement planning
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |909 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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I am 63 years old.Yearly pension 6.50 lacs Annual interest from bank deposits 5.50 lacs ( Bank deposits Rs.60 lacs). Monthly pension is sufficient to meet expenses since my children are settled.How to redeploy the bank deposit to maximize income
Ans: Given your stable pension income and surplus from bank deposits, optimizing your investments for higher income while maintaining liquidity and minimizing risk is crucial. Here's a strategy tailored to your needs:

Fixed Income Investments: Consider allocating a portion of your bank deposits to fixed income instruments such as Senior Citizen Savings Scheme (SCSS), Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS), or Tax-free Bonds. These instruments offer regular income with relatively lower risk compared to equities.
Debt Mutual Funds: Invest a portion of your bank deposits in debt mutual funds with a focus on short to medium-term duration funds or monthly income plans (MIPs). These funds offer the potential for higher returns compared to traditional fixed deposits while maintaining liquidity and capital preservation.
Dividend-Paying Stocks: Explore investing a small portion of your surplus in dividend-paying stocks of stable companies. Focus on sectors with a history of consistent dividend payouts, such as utilities, consumer goods, or pharmaceuticals. Dividend income can supplement your pension and bank interest income.
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP): Consider setting up a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) in debt mutual funds or balanced funds to generate regular income while preserving capital. SWPs allow you to withdraw a fixed amount periodically, providing a steady stream of income similar to an annuity.
Emergency Fund: Ensure you maintain an adequate emergency fund equivalent to 6-12 months' worth of living expenses in a liquid and easily accessible account. This fund will provide a financial cushion in case of unforeseen expenses or emergencies.
Tax Considerations: Evaluate the tax implications of your investment choices, especially considering your current income sources and tax bracket. Optimize your investments to minimize tax liability while maximizing post-tax returns.
Consultation: Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner or investment advisor who can assess your specific financial situation, risk tolerance, and investment goals. They can help design a customized investment strategy tailored to your needs and objectives.
By diversifying your investments across fixed income instruments, mutual funds, dividend-paying stocks, and maintaining an emergency fund, you can maximize income while ensuring capital preservation and financial security in your retirement years.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |909 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 27, 2024

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Hi. I am currently living in India and have received a job offer from Dubai. As I plan to shift, I needed to understand some nuances about managing my SIPs, Equity Holdings and EMIs in India. I have following: 1. 80K SIP in 2 DSP Funds and 2 Quant Funds 2. 70K EMI for a home loan 3. About 1Cr equity holding in a demat account Once I move, I will let my flat out on rent. Wanted to understand following: 1. For rent collection, EMI, SIP etc what account is advisable? NRE or NRO? For EMIs, SIPs etc I will have to transfer money from overseas account to Indian account 2. For SIPs - I will have to change my existing account to an NRE/NRO account as well? 3. Demat holdings - is there a separate category of demat accounts for NRIs?
Ans: Moving to Dubai while maintaining financial commitments in India requires careful planning. Here's a breakdown of considerations for managing your SIPs, EMIs, and equity holdings:

Account Choice: For rent collection, EMI payments, and SIP investments, opening an NRE (Non-Resident External) account is advisable. NRE accounts allow you to repatriate funds freely, making them suitable for managing finances while abroad. However, for domestic transactions, you can also consider an NRO (Non-Resident Ordinary) account, which has restrictions on repatriation but facilitates local transactions.
SIP Management: You'll need to transition your existing bank account linked to SIPs to an NRE/NRO account to facilitate seamless fund transfers from your overseas account. Ensure you inform your mutual fund provider about the change in bank details to avoid any disruptions in your SIPs.
EMI Payments: Similarly, you'll need to link your home loan EMI payments to your NRE/NRO account for smooth transactions. Set up standing instructions or auto-debit mandates to ensure timely EMI payments while you're abroad.
Demat Holdings: As an NRI, you can hold equity investments in India through a designated NRI demat account. You'll need to convert your existing demat account to an NRI demat account to continue managing your equity holdings seamlessly.
Tax Implications: Be mindful of tax implications both in India and Dubai. Consult with a tax advisor to understand your tax obligations in both countries and optimize your tax planning strategies.
Legal Compliance: Ensure compliance with RBI regulations and other legal requirements concerning NRI investments and remittances to avoid any regulatory issues.
Communication: Maintain open communication with your banks, mutual fund providers, and brokerages to update them about your NRI status and ensure smooth transition and management of your financial affairs.
By proactively addressing these considerations and seeking guidance from financial advisors and legal experts, you can effectively manage your financial commitments in India while pursuing opportunities abroad.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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