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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Jan 13, 2022Hindi
Relationship

Hi Love Guru.
Please keep my identity as anonymous as possible. 
I have few issues going on in my mind and want your suggestions.
First, to get out of block and unblock chain.
I met a girl who is my brother’s friend in 2017. We started chatting on FB, then exchanged numbers.
We had a rapport till six months. There was a unique attachment between us during that period. Not chatting with her for even one day would make me uneasy.
In October 2017, her engagement was fixed. I was normal, knowing that there cannot be much between us except being in contact.
One day, at the end of our talk, she said, Love you. I laughed, saying “What nonsense that you always call me with different weird names. Now, after your engagement is fixed, you are telling me this.”
Then, she blocked me on WhatsApp and I really felt like I was in a cage. Then, after a few days, she unblocked me.
She got engaged but, after a few months, her engagement broke.
We then again got in good contact. After few months her marriage got fixed.
Now she is married. After her marriage, our contact was very, very less as priorities changed. I proceeded with my studies and job and she carried on with her personal and professional life.
Two months back, she called me and said I am bored and feeling irritated with life so I called you to freshen my mind. I was also happy talking to her.
I am that kind of introvert person who opens up with few and she was among them.
For one or two weeks, we used to talk 30 to 45 minutes daily.
Suddenly, she blocked me on WhatsApp. I called her and she behaved like a stranger to me -- like who’s this, I don’t know you, who you are and she ended the call and blocked me.
Till date, she has blocked me.
I think there are many things she is hiding from me -- from why her first engagement broke to marring another guy who is not of her caste when she is from a conservative family 
Post her engagement, there were many times she blocked and unblocked me. She is running in my mind. I want to get rid of her. Please suggest how and what shall I talk to her so I get an end to this.
Thank you for bearing to read all this.
My second issue is I think I am addicted to pornography.
Two to three years back, I used to watch a lot of porn and would prefer MILF porn, ie senior pornstars videos.
I think, due to this, I don’t get much attracted to girls of my age. I respect them but I think, because of my addiction, I see females elder to me attractive rather than females of my age.
Please help. Suggest how I shall get out of this as this also affects me academically, personally and professionally.
Thank you,
Anon

Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

I don’t think you really have any serious problems in your life at all; it’s your perceptions that are all wrong.

Let me straighten this out for you, one issue at a time.

First off, you have one weird, unpredictable friend who once told you she loved you and then went and married someone else.

Not once have you stated that you are in love with her or have feelings for her. In fact, when she said she loved you, you brushed it off.

She contacts you when she’s bored and cuts you off when she’s not.

And now, it’s come to the point where you really need to be the one blocking her and not the other way around...

You want to get rid of her? Block her once and for all. And if she still manages to get in touch, tell her politely that you have had enough of this one-sided friendship and not to contact you again.

Second, about what you think is a porn ‘addiction’... An addiction is something that interferes with your normal life, career and relationships. It’s an obsession that consumes you every waking hour.

And, from what you’ve said, I don’t think you’re watching such volumes of pornography every day, are you?

Furthermore, unless you’re into grannies, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being attracted to women older than you... everyone has a type!

If after everything I’ve said you still fancy you have problems, I’d suggest visiting a therapist. But before spending that kind of money, think long and hard about what I’ve said and decide for yourself whether you think you need it.

 

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

Relationship
Hello Sir or Madam. Please keep me as anonymous only. Let me tell my story. I am 29 now. Work for an MNC for the past six years. From middle class family with big circle. Before going to speak out on my problem, let me tell my nature, how I was brought up, studies and attitude. Since we are middle class family with no financial crisis, I never seen ups and downs in Life accordingly. In the case of studies, I was topper at all levels of education till MBA from reputed institute. I was like love is trash n waste of time. When I used to hear all love stories, I used to feel pity on them. But I did maintain very good relationship with many, many girls (not GF type). But now I am going through the hell just because of one girl whom I was forcibly loved her and later I addicted to her with true love. During COVID I had to go WFH for two years. She visited her granny’s house and stayed back for few weeks. They live in Bangalore. I have never seen her face or noticed her during the time when she stayed. But she noticed, observed and enquired about me. So once she left to Bangalore, she sent FB request and I accepted. Immediately we have exchanged numbers and started texting ‘n’ talking. Initially I rejected her since she is eight years junior to me. Later she emotionally told once as she lost her father very recently and she just don’t want to go into depression again if I reject her. I got convinced and started loving truly. I replaced her father in her life which she used to tell. One day, she got caught by her brother while she was on call with me. Since we belong to different castes, they rejected me. She got house arrested. There was no connection between us. First time in life I fell into depression. I lost my job after just three weeks when she got separated from me. I was unable to speak anyone in the world. My family ‘n’ circle was afraid as I may do harm to myself for her. On December 16, 2021, I tried to commit suicide by writing a letter in laptop to her telling how I was missing her ‘n’ needed her. Took print and left to railway track to die. I took alcohol and was on the track. Someone rescued me and took me to hometown from Bangalore with PAN card address which was in my purse. Every day I was losing hope on my life. Finally I got call from her number in the first week of Jan. I was happy and cried like anything with her on call. She told that she would never leave me alone whatever happens ‘n’ who ever tries to separate us. Again, I took my energy ‘n’ hopes back and started job searching. There was 1 month gap again until Feb 8, 2022. After that she used to call me whenever it is possible. From March 15 to March 31, she kept fighting with me over call and spoken mercilessly. There was no kindness or love or concern on me. Again, I lost hope on my life. She kept asking me to stay away from her. She knew that I cannot initiate contact from my end, since she only should do whenever she able to do. Day by day, I am losing interest on my Life. I left the job. Now I’m alone with her thoughts and words spoken by her. My family n circle knew all this drama what’s going on. They hate me for losing self-respect for a girl. But I have never seen that girl as a girl. I am addicted to alcohol, day ‘n’ night drinking and surviving. I knew she won’t come back if I ruin my life like this by drinking ‘n’ all. But I just can’t control myself over her. The promises which she made me were gone... But still I stand for her, for what I promised. I begged the girl like anything not to leave me alone. I just can’t digest that she won’t be no more for me. N number of the times I used to tell her that You are my first priority over all in my life, like family, siblings, money, career and what not. Most of the times I told her that I’ll commit suicide for you if I come to know that you are not there for me. It doesn’t mean that I am an emotional fool who does not know how to live or unable to get another girl. But you have such significance in my life. I elaborated as much as I can. But she never listened me. I am just wonder where was her sweet words ‘n’ promises, what’s the reality now? I am upset with me -- where was original me and who I am now without self-respect. My parents ‘n’ siblings are forcing me to give up on her. As per them, she is just a golddigger and cheater without love and trust... My mind n heart never ever forgets her. Don’t know the future. But many times I pray God to kill me in sleep itself without pain so I can reach Venkateshwara... Entire world is against that girl, but I am defending her at every passing moment. Human beings invented many amazing things. My wish is we should be available with tablets or injection which can erase memories which belongs to particular person or for particular time in life... The real enemy to the human beings is LOVE.... Finally I am just waiting for my death... I knew that she won’t realise even if I die also. But I should sleep forever and ever just because for the crime I did love her.... Dear Bujji, it’s for you. I am also a human being as like U. As like your mother, even my mother has given birth to me. Finally, no words.... I am alone... Memories are hunting me.... chasing me... Love Guru, please publish this story as it is. Because someone may going through hell with similar story at least they will read the Q&A as well. Love Guru... I hate me... I do have all with me -- good health, 21 LPA job now, stabilised family and friends ‘n’ family circle... But this bloody struggling to get her love amongst the 7 billion people on this Earth... Love Guru, I feel that I lost. I am feeling low... I got cheated by her... Finally I am nothing to her. Dear readers, don’t think that why this fool is suffering for a girl like this.... I have seen her my GODDESS... Thank you... Have a nice day…
Ans:

You’ve needlessly wound yourself up over a silly girl.

You don’t even sound like you’ve had a physical relationship, it was only long distance, so what are you getting so out of joint for? A few intimate conversations with someone who said one thing but meant another?

If things in your life are spiralling so much out of control, I’d suggest therapy.

Stop drinking before it becomes a real problem. It sounds like you’re doing this to yourself deliberately, so that you receive some attention from her.

But the more you do this, the worse the situation will get. And no woman wants an out-of-control, desperate, alcoholic lover!

For heavens’ sake, man, get a hold of yourself and, if you can’t, then get the professional help you need. 

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am Jose. I have a very complicated relationship issue. I loved a girl when I was about 18, she was from a financially better off family. This was a major reason that I hesitated to tell her about my love, instead remained a friend. She was better qualified too. I started working and wanted to be in a financially better situation before I confessed my love for her. In the meanwhile she got herself admitted in a college in the US, I decided to tell her, but was too late, she had already committed herself to her senior in college. We made a promise to each other that we will remain friends. We kept in touch through letters. Then I decided to get married as per the family wishes. Shortly she too got married to her boyfriend . We told our partners about each other. We continued to keep in touch thro email and phone calls once/twice in a year. We would meet once or twice every time she would visit from the US. We never had any physical relationship at the most it would be a peck on the cheek or just holding hands. We immersed ourselves in our personal / professional lives. We had 2 sons with our partners. Now the boys are in their 20's. In the meanwhile she found out her husband was having a relationship with some other woman, in the ensuing arguments it led to their divorce a couple of years back. Since 2021 I had 2 heart attacks, and survived. All these years I never had a happy life , we stayed together due to societal pressures and in the last 2 years we never had a physical relation too. She always had a hatred towards physical relationship. I hate forcing myself on her, so we have remained seperate in the last few years. After my 2nd attack, my friend helped me stop my smoking and somehow our chats on whatsapp or personal meets when she comes here have started becoming very mushy and with a lots of deeply loving words. I know I cannot divorce my wife as I would lose a lot of my immovable properties on which i depend for my rental income as I have actually gifted my wife a lot of my properties. Nowadays I am getting drawn towards my friend again and very strongly. Confused, and not knowing how to proceed. I am no longer working and depend on rentals for my earnings.
Ans: My dear friend,

It sounds like you're in a very complicated situation, and it's understandable that you feel confused and unsure about how to proceed. It's important to take some time to really think about what you want and what's best for you, as well as consider the impact of your actions on those around you.

First, it's important to acknowledge that your friend is currently in a vulnerable position after going through a divorce. While it's natural to feel drawn towards her, it's important to make sure that any actions you take are respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs.

At the same time, it's also important to consider your own needs and desires. You mentioned feeling unhappy in your current relationship and feeling drawn towards your friend again. It's important to really examine those feelings and think about what it is that you want in your life and your relationships.

However, it's also important to consider the potential consequences of your actions. You mentioned that you cannot divorce your wife without losing a significant amount of your income, and that you've already gifted her a lot of your properties. It's important to consider the financial and emotional impact that divorce could have on both you and your wife, as well as any children or other family members who may be affected.

One possible option could be to explore couples therapy or marriage counseling to see if there are ways to improve your current relationship and address the issues that have been causing unhappiness. It's also important to communicate openly and honestly with your friend about your feelings, but to do so in a way that is respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs as well.

Ultimately, the decision about how to proceed is up to you, but it's important to take the time to really think things through and consider all the potential consequences of your actions.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |523 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |523 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 01, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, myself is 31 years old guy and I was in relationship with the women (collegue of mine in previous company) who is married and had 1 son and she is 9 years elder then me. Basically I was going through a tough time as I had breakup in 2017 and started drinking and smoking which usually everybody does after a heartbreak. In year 2019 she got to know about my drinking habits and she starting giving her time to me so that I stop all this things. She used to behind me to stop all these things but gradually after a year or so we started developing feelings for each other. We used to talk to a lot like almost we used to share everything and in year 2020 we got into relation and we proposed each other. Everything was fine till 2021. In year 2021 I went for a group picnic where my Ex was also present and my biggest mistake was that I didn't shared this thing with her but she got to know this from one of our common collegue who was also part of the picnic & after that disaster started in our life. She started doubting me that I am still in relation with my Ex but I was not there & continuously I have to prove myself that I don't have any feelings for my ex & I love you only. I was ready to do anything for her even just to surprise her I travel to her city where she went on vacation to her parents house. But unfortunately that was the last time we were together the moment I came to my hometown things started getting worse as she again started doubting me and in anger I just burst on her and after that she stopped talking and bcz of which I went into a depression and due to which I was completely mess was not able to do anything in my life except drinking. Now it has been 2 years that we don't talk except only on some occasion she calls or msg. Still I am having the same feeling for her which I had 3 years back & I need her back in my life. Please suggest me what should I do in this scenario.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear you are facing such challenges in your life. Doubt and jealousy can ruin a relationship and your relationship is proof of that. While you might not have had bad intentions when you did not reveal your ex being present in the gathering with you, it is also understandable that your partner's trust suffered a crack which finally gave away completely. The thing to learn here is that open communication could have saved you all these sufferings. But that's all in the past. Right now you are separated from your partner and I assume she is not interested in getting back together. Your question should not be how to get her back, but rather how can I move on. Your job is not to convince her but to convince yourself that this is for the best. And it truly is; no relationship can survive in the shadows of doubt.

Focus on yourself. Spend time with your friends. Understand that you made a tiny mistake but you tried your best to convince your partner of your loyalty to her; it did not work out but you are not to blame. Some things just don't, and your relationship was one of those things. Forgive yourself if you feel guilty for not disclosing the situation to your partner. You know you were not a cheater and it's no longer your job to convince her of that. Give yourself ample time to grieve the loss and accept that it's lost. Don't keep looking for ways to get back together or you will never move on. It will hurt in the beginning but it will get better soon. Once you feel better, go out and meet people. I am not saying your ex-partner wasn't great but trust me, there are more people out there, who are amazing; they will help you not just heal but also grow.

It's time to let go.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Pushpa

Pushpa R  |50 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2025Hindi
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Health
Hello Yog Guru, I am (self) practising BASIC yoga since 2021. Every time I do the asanas I develop acute acidity and the same troubles me for 1-2 months. Remedial measures :- I follow medications, stop yoga and the issue is resolved. Should I give up yoga or is there any specific asanas that will not create acidity issues? Pls advise Thanks Tushar
Ans: It’s great that you have been practicing yoga since 2021. However, if yoga is triggering acidity, it means that some postures or your practice routine may not be suitable for your body.

Why is Yoga Causing Acidity?
Practicing on an empty or full stomach – Yoga is best done 2-3 hours after a meal.
Wrong postures – Some asanas (like deep backbends) can put pressure on the stomach, increasing acidity.
Holding breath – Improper breathing can disturb digestion.
Intense practice – Overstretching may trigger stress, which worsens acidity.
What to Do?
? Gentle Asanas: Vajrasana (after meals), Supta Baddha Konasana, and Marjaryasana-Bitilasana (Cat-Cow) help digestion.
? Avoid: Deep backbends and intense forward bends immediately after meals.
? Focus on Breathwork: Practice Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing) and Sheetali Pranayama to cool the body and reduce acidity.
? Stay Hydrated: Drink warm water to support digestion.

Guidance Matters!
Practicing alone may cause incorrect posture or breathing habits. A yoga coach can guide you on asanas that suit your body and help avoid discomfort. Don’t give up yoga—just modify your practice with expert guidance!

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7911 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2025Hindi
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Money
I have invested 25k each in the following via Lump sum sometime in August and it's return is negative but I am not worried as I always the market works that's how - Quant Multi asset fund direct - 25k (invest 1k since then) Quant large and mid cap direct - 25k (invest 1k since then) Motilal Oswal midcap fund direct - 25k (invest 1k since then) Hdfc dividend yield fund 2k every month. Should I continue to invest 1k as I don't need this money for at least 5 years and add the mentioned amount every month. Please advise. Thank you
Ans: You have chosen a disciplined approach to investing. Market fluctuations are normal, and patience is key. Since your investment horizon is five years, your strategy must be optimized.

Reviewing Your Current Portfolio
Your investments are spread across different fund categories.

Equity markets can be volatile in the short term.

Over five years, equity funds can deliver strong returns.

Continuing SIP Investments
SIP investments reduce risk through cost averaging.

Investing consistently helps in long-term wealth creation.

You should continue your SIPs as planned.

Assessing Fund Selection
Multi-asset funds provide diversification but may have lower returns.

Large and mid-cap funds balance growth and stability.

Mid-cap funds have high growth potential but higher risk.

Dividend yield funds provide stability with lower volatility.

Portfolio Optimization
Too many funds can create overlap.

A balanced mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and multi-asset funds is ideal.

You may consolidate some funds for better performance.

Monitoring and Adjustments
Review your portfolio every year.

Rebalance if any fund consistently underperforms.

Avoid reacting to short-term market movements.

Final Insights
Continue SIPs to benefit from market growth.

Diversify wisely but avoid too many funds.

Review performance yearly and make necessary changes.

Stay invested with a long-term perspective.

Keep emergency funds separate from your investments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7911 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2025Hindi
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Money
What are the best ways to invest for a child, not aware of it's a boy or girl at this time. Investment should take care of education preferably getting some returns at a fixed time interval so that it take care of educational expenses at several stages. Also something for marriage or for further education.
Ans: Investing for a child’s future is a great decision. You need a structured plan. Your investment should cover education at different stages. It should also provide funds for higher education or marriage. A mix of investment options will ensure stable and timely returns.

Understanding Financial Goals for the Child
The first goal is school education expenses.

The second goal is higher education at 18 years.

The third goal is marriage or further studies after 22 years.

Investments should align with these timelines.

Investment Strategy for School and Higher Education
Education costs rise every year due to inflation.

A long-term investment approach will help in wealth creation.

Investments should give returns at different stages.

Equity Mutual Funds for Long-Term Growth
Equity mutual funds provide high returns over long periods.

They help in building a strong education fund.

Actively managed funds perform better than index funds.

SIPs ensure regular contributions with rupee-cost averaging.

Debt Mutual Funds for Stability
Debt mutual funds provide low-risk returns.

They are useful for short-term education needs.

Withdrawals are easier compared to FDs.

Hybrid Mutual Funds for Balanced Growth
These funds combine equity and debt.

They provide stable returns with controlled risk.

Suitable for medium-term goals like college fees.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for Regular Payouts
SWP helps in getting a fixed amount at regular intervals.

You can plan withdrawals for school and college fees.

It ensures cash flow without disturbing long-term investments.

Gold for Future Expenses
Gold investments can be used for marriage expenses.

Gold ETFs and digital gold are better than physical gold.

They are safe and do not have storage risks.

Insurance for Child’s Financial Security
A term insurance plan is essential.

It ensures financial stability in case of uncertainties.

Do not mix insurance with investment.

Tax Considerations
LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh on equity mutual funds is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per the income slab.

Final Insights
Start early to maximize returns.

Choose investments based on different education stages.

Use SWP for regular payouts during school and college.

Ensure term insurance for financial security.

Avoid insurance-linked investment plans.

Keep reviewing and adjusting investments as needed.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7911 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

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Money
I am 27 years old with 2 cr corpus to invest planning to retire at the age of 35 can realistically consider??
Ans: Retiring at 35 is an ambitious goal. With Rs. 2 crore, it is possible but challenging. You need a strong strategy to make your corpus last a lifetime.

Key Factors to Consider
Inflation Impact
Inflation reduces the value of money over time.

Expenses today will be much higher in the future.

Your investments must grow faster than inflation.

Retirement Period
If you retire at 35, you need income for 50+ years.

A safe withdrawal rate is important.

Poor planning can lead to financial stress later.

Current and Future Expenses
List all your current expenses.

Add future costs like medical, travel, and lifestyle.

Adjust for inflation to get a realistic estimate.

Investment Allocation
Your corpus must be invested wisely.

A mix of equity, debt, and liquid funds is essential.

Equity gives growth. Debt provides stability.

Investment Strategy for Early Retirement
Growth-Oriented Investments
Invest a major portion in actively managed mutual funds.

Equity funds offer high long-term returns.

Select funds with strong historical performance.

Stable Income Investments
Allocate some funds to debt instruments.

Debt investments reduce market risk.

They provide stable returns for regular expenses.

Emergency Fund
Keep at least 2-3 years of expenses in safe investments.

Liquid funds and fixed deposits are good options.

This ensures financial security during market downturns.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Use SWP to generate monthly income.

Withdraw only a small percentage yearly.

This helps preserve your corpus for longer.

Risks and Challenges
Market Volatility
Stock markets go through ups and downs.

A market crash can impact your investments.

Long-term focus is necessary.

Medical Expenses
Healthcare costs will rise over time.

Ensure you have sufficient health insurance.

Consider a separate fund for medical needs.

Lifestyle and Unexpected Costs
Early retirement may bring unexpected expenses.

Keep a buffer for such situations.

Avoid unnecessary spending in early years.

Alternative Options
Semi-Retirement
Instead of full retirement, consider part-time work.

This reduces financial pressure.

You can still enjoy financial independence.

Passive Income Sources
Explore ways to generate passive income.

Freelancing, consulting, or business investments can help.

This ensures your corpus lasts longer.

Finally
Retiring at 35 is possible but risky.

Your corpus must grow and last for decades.

Plan carefully to avoid financial stress later.

Maintain a good balance of growth and stability.

Consider semi-retirement or passive income sources.

A well-planned strategy will ensure a worry-free future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7911 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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I am 45 years old Government Servant. I am planning to take VRS . My corpus after retirement will be 2.0 Cr and monthly pension of 1.5 lacs. I have 2 children , son and daughter 17 yrs and 12 yrs old. I have my own house and no loans. Should i proceed with Retirement
Ans: Taking Voluntary Retirement (VRS) is a big decision. You have built a strong financial foundation. Your pension and corpus give you security. However, early retirement needs careful planning. Let’s analyse all aspects before making a final decision.

Financial Strength After Retirement
Your corpus of Rs 2 crore is a good base.

A monthly pension of Rs 1.5 lakh ensures a steady cash flow.

No loans and a self-owned house reduce financial burden.

Your current financial position looks stable.

Monthly Expenses Assessment
Calculate your family’s monthly expenses.

Include household costs, medical needs, travel, and lifestyle.

Check if Rs 1.5 lakh pension covers all future expenses.

Consider rising costs due to inflation.

Children’s Education and Future Needs
Your son is 17 years old and will soon enter higher education.

Your daughter is 12 years old and also has upcoming education needs.

Estimate future education costs for the next 10-15 years.

If required, allocate a part of Rs 2 crore corpus for education.

Medical and Health Security
Medical expenses increase with age.

Ensure you have a good health insurance policy.

Keep a medical emergency fund separate.

Investment Strategy for Corpus
Equity Mutual Funds (40%-50%)

These give higher returns over long periods.
Ideal for growing wealth beyond pension income.
Actively managed funds perform better than index funds.
Debt Mutual Funds (30%-40%)

These provide stability and liquidity.
Useful for short-term goals and emergencies.
Returns are better than fixed deposits.
Hybrid Mutual Funds (10%-20%)

These balance risk with growth.
Helps in generating consistent income.
Tax Implications on Investments
Equity Mutual Funds

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt Mutual Funds

Gains are taxed as per your income slab.
Plan investments to minimise tax impact.

Alternative Income Options
Consider part-time consultancy or freelancing.

This will keep you engaged and provide extra income.

Passive income from investments also helps.

Should You Proceed with VRS?
If your expenses and goals fit within Rs 1.5 lakh pension, VRS is feasible.

If education and future costs are uncertain, continue working.

If you retire now, invest wisely to maintain financial security.

Final Insights
Your financial position is strong.

Plan children’s education and medical costs before deciding.

Invest wisely to ensure wealth growth post-retirement.

Consider part-time work for additional security.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7911 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 26, 2025Hindi
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Hello sir I am 22 and doing SIP of 16k in mf Have 1lac in mf and 1 lac in forex and 50 k in crypto what should be my steps to invest wisely for my higher education and better future .
Ans: You have started investing at a young age. This is a great step. With the right strategy, you can build wealth and secure your future.

Current Financial Position
Investments
Mutual Funds: Rs. 1 lakh.

Forex Trading: Rs. 1 lakh.

Cryptocurrency: Rs. 50,000.

SIP: Rs. 16,000 per month.

Investment Goals
Higher education.

Wealth creation.

Financial security.

Key Challenges and Risks
Forex Trading Risk
Forex trading is highly volatile.

It requires deep knowledge and experience.

A small mistake can lead to huge losses.

It is not suitable for long-term wealth creation.

Cryptocurrency Risk
Crypto markets are unpredictable.

They do not have strong regulations.

Prices can drop suddenly.

Do not invest more than 5% of your portfolio in crypto.

Funding Higher Education
Education costs are rising every year.

You need a reliable and safe investment strategy.

Market volatility should not affect your education plans.

Long-Term Wealth Creation
Your money must grow faster than inflation.

Choosing the right investments is important.

Avoid high-risk, short-term trading strategies.

Steps to Secure Your Future
Reduce Risky Investments
Reduce exposure to forex trading.

Limit cryptocurrency investment to 5% of your portfolio.

Increase Mutual Fund Allocation
Mutual funds provide better long-term returns.

Actively managed funds offer higher growth.

Continue your Rs. 16,000 SIP consistently.

Increase your SIP amount when income rises.

Create an Education Fund
Invest in a mix of equity and debt funds.

Equity gives higher returns.

Debt provides stability.

Start a separate SIP for education expenses.

Build an Emergency Fund
Keep at least Rs. 1-2 lakh in a safe investment.

Use a combination of liquid funds and fixed deposits.

This will help during emergencies.

Tax-Efficient Investing
Mutual fund gains are taxable.

Equity funds have lower tax rates for long-term growth.

Debt fund taxation depends on your income slab.

Plan withdrawals wisely to reduce tax burden.

Increase Earnings and Savings
Focus on skill development.

Higher skills lead to better income opportunities.

Invest surplus income wisely.

Avoid unnecessary expenses.

Finally
You have a great start in investing.

Avoid high-risk trading for long-term stability.

Build a strong mutual fund portfolio for growth.

Plan your education fund with a mix of equity and debt.

Keep an emergency fund for financial security.

Your disciplined approach will ensure a bright future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7911 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2025Hindi
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Hi , I would like to start my investment in mutual funds already im saving 25k in stocks and 50k in chit fund. I have 25k more to save please advice me Thank you
Ans: You are already taking solid steps in your investment journey. A well-balanced portfolio with stocks, chit funds, and mutual funds can help you achieve financial growth. Below is a detailed investment plan for your Rs 25,000 monthly investment in mutual funds.

Why Mutual Funds?
Mutual funds provide diversification and professional management.

They help balance risk and returns based on your goals.

You can invest with flexibility and liquidity.

How to Allocate Rs 25,000 in Mutual Funds?
Equity Mutual Funds (Rs 15,000 - Rs 18,000 per month)

Ideal for long-term growth.
Invest in different categories for risk balance.
Choose actively managed funds for better returns than index funds.
Hybrid Mutual Funds (Rs 5,000 - Rs 7,000 per month)

These funds invest in both equity and debt.
Reduce risk while giving decent returns.
Debt Mutual Funds (Rs 2,000 - Rs 3,000 per month)

Suitable for stability and emergency funds.
Ideal if you need funds in the short term.
How to Choose the Right Mutual Funds?
Investment Goal

Define your target, such as wealth creation or passive income.
Risk Tolerance

Higher risk means potential for higher returns.
Lower risk gives stability but lower growth.
Fund Performance

Look at historical returns over 5-10 years.
Consistency matters more than high short-term returns.
Expense Ratio

Lower expense ratios help improve overall returns.
Regular funds provide advisor support, which helps in fund selection.
Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
A CFP helps you create a solid investment plan.

They guide you to rebalance your portfolio regularly.

Investing through an MFD with CFP certification ensures expert monitoring.

How Mutual Funds Fit Into Your Existing Portfolio
Stocks (Rs 25,000 per month)

Direct stocks give higher risk and rewards.
Mutual funds balance this risk with professional management.
Chit Fund (Rs 50,000 per month)

Chit funds provide disciplined savings but may have lower returns.
Mutual funds offer better liquidity and tax benefits.
Mutual Funds (Rs 25,000 per month)

A mix of equity, hybrid, and debt funds ensures diversification.
Helps achieve long-term wealth creation with stability.
Key Mistakes to Avoid in Mutual Fund Investment
Avoid Investing in Direct Plans Without Expert Guidance

Direct plans seem cheaper but require deep research.
Investing through a CFP ensures better selection and monitoring.
Don’t Chase High Returns Only

High-return funds also come with high risks.
Focus on consistency and long-term growth.
Skipping Periodic Review

Markets change, and your investments need rebalancing.
Review your portfolio every 6-12 months with your CFP.
How Taxation Affects Your Mutual Fund Returns
Equity Mutual Funds

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.
STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt Mutual Funds

Gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.
Hybrid Mutual Funds

Taxation depends on the equity-debt ratio.
Final Insights
Your current investments are well-structured.

Mutual funds will add diversification and balance.

Follow a disciplined approach for better long-term returns.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner for expert advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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