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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 13, 2022

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more
Anonymous Question by Anonymous on Jan 13, 2022Hindi
Relationship

Hi Love Guru.
Please keep my identity as anonymous as possible. 
I have few issues going on in my mind and want your suggestions.
First, to get out of block and unblock chain.
I met a girl who is my brother’s friend in 2017. We started chatting on FB, then exchanged numbers.
We had a rapport till six months. There was a unique attachment between us during that period. Not chatting with her for even one day would make me uneasy.
In October 2017, her engagement was fixed. I was normal, knowing that there cannot be much between us except being in contact.
One day, at the end of our talk, she said, Love you. I laughed, saying “What nonsense that you always call me with different weird names. Now, after your engagement is fixed, you are telling me this.”
Then, she blocked me on WhatsApp and I really felt like I was in a cage. Then, after a few days, she unblocked me.
She got engaged but, after a few months, her engagement broke.
We then again got in good contact. After few months her marriage got fixed.
Now she is married. After her marriage, our contact was very, very less as priorities changed. I proceeded with my studies and job and she carried on with her personal and professional life.
Two months back, she called me and said I am bored and feeling irritated with life so I called you to freshen my mind. I was also happy talking to her.
I am that kind of introvert person who opens up with few and she was among them.
For one or two weeks, we used to talk 30 to 45 minutes daily.
Suddenly, she blocked me on WhatsApp. I called her and she behaved like a stranger to me -- like who’s this, I don’t know you, who you are and she ended the call and blocked me.
Till date, she has blocked me.
I think there are many things she is hiding from me -- from why her first engagement broke to marring another guy who is not of her caste when she is from a conservative family 
Post her engagement, there were many times she blocked and unblocked me. She is running in my mind. I want to get rid of her. Please suggest how and what shall I talk to her so I get an end to this.
Thank you for bearing to read all this.
My second issue is I think I am addicted to pornography.
Two to three years back, I used to watch a lot of porn and would prefer MILF porn, ie senior pornstars videos.
I think, due to this, I don’t get much attracted to girls of my age. I respect them but I think, because of my addiction, I see females elder to me attractive rather than females of my age.
Please help. Suggest how I shall get out of this as this also affects me academically, personally and professionally.
Thank you,
Anon

Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

I don’t think you really have any serious problems in your life at all; it’s your perceptions that are all wrong.

Let me straighten this out for you, one issue at a time.

First off, you have one weird, unpredictable friend who once told you she loved you and then went and married someone else.

Not once have you stated that you are in love with her or have feelings for her. In fact, when she said she loved you, you brushed it off.

She contacts you when she’s bored and cuts you off when she’s not.

And now, it’s come to the point where you really need to be the one blocking her and not the other way around...

You want to get rid of her? Block her once and for all. And if she still manages to get in touch, tell her politely that you have had enough of this one-sided friendship and not to contact you again.

Second, about what you think is a porn ‘addiction’... An addiction is something that interferes with your normal life, career and relationships. It’s an obsession that consumes you every waking hour.

And, from what you’ve said, I don’t think you’re watching such volumes of pornography every day, are you?

Furthermore, unless you’re into grannies, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being attracted to women older than you... everyone has a type!

If after everything I’ve said you still fancy you have problems, I’d suggest visiting a therapist. But before spending that kind of money, think long and hard about what I’ve said and decide for yourself whether you think you need it.

 

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on May 30, 2022

Relationship
Hello Sir or Madam. Please keep me as anonymous only. Let me tell my story. I am 29 now. Work for an MNC for the past six years. From middle class family with big circle. Before going to speak out on my problem, let me tell my nature, how I was brought up, studies and attitude. Since we are middle class family with no financial crisis, I never seen ups and downs in Life accordingly. In the case of studies, I was topper at all levels of education till MBA from reputed institute. I was like love is trash n waste of time. When I used to hear all love stories, I used to feel pity on them. But I did maintain very good relationship with many, many girls (not GF type). But now I am going through the hell just because of one girl whom I was forcibly loved her and later I addicted to her with true love. During COVID I had to go WFH for two years. She visited her granny’s house and stayed back for few weeks. They live in Bangalore. I have never seen her face or noticed her during the time when she stayed. But she noticed, observed and enquired about me. So once she left to Bangalore, she sent FB request and I accepted. Immediately we have exchanged numbers and started texting ‘n’ talking. Initially I rejected her since she is eight years junior to me. Later she emotionally told once as she lost her father very recently and she just don’t want to go into depression again if I reject her. I got convinced and started loving truly. I replaced her father in her life which she used to tell. One day, she got caught by her brother while she was on call with me. Since we belong to different castes, they rejected me. She got house arrested. There was no connection between us. First time in life I fell into depression. I lost my job after just three weeks when she got separated from me. I was unable to speak anyone in the world. My family ‘n’ circle was afraid as I may do harm to myself for her. On December 16, 2021, I tried to commit suicide by writing a letter in laptop to her telling how I was missing her ‘n’ needed her. Took print and left to railway track to die. I took alcohol and was on the track. Someone rescued me and took me to hometown from Bangalore with PAN card address which was in my purse. Every day I was losing hope on my life. Finally I got call from her number in the first week of Jan. I was happy and cried like anything with her on call. She told that she would never leave me alone whatever happens ‘n’ who ever tries to separate us. Again, I took my energy ‘n’ hopes back and started job searching. There was 1 month gap again until Feb 8, 2022. After that she used to call me whenever it is possible. From March 15 to March 31, she kept fighting with me over call and spoken mercilessly. There was no kindness or love or concern on me. Again, I lost hope on my life. She kept asking me to stay away from her. She knew that I cannot initiate contact from my end, since she only should do whenever she able to do. Day by day, I am losing interest on my Life. I left the job. Now I’m alone with her thoughts and words spoken by her. My family n circle knew all this drama what’s going on. They hate me for losing self-respect for a girl. But I have never seen that girl as a girl. I am addicted to alcohol, day ‘n’ night drinking and surviving. I knew she won’t come back if I ruin my life like this by drinking ‘n’ all. But I just can’t control myself over her. The promises which she made me were gone... But still I stand for her, for what I promised. I begged the girl like anything not to leave me alone. I just can’t digest that she won’t be no more for me. N number of the times I used to tell her that You are my first priority over all in my life, like family, siblings, money, career and what not. Most of the times I told her that I’ll commit suicide for you if I come to know that you are not there for me. It doesn’t mean that I am an emotional fool who does not know how to live or unable to get another girl. But you have such significance in my life. I elaborated as much as I can. But she never listened me. I am just wonder where was her sweet words ‘n’ promises, what’s the reality now? I am upset with me -- where was original me and who I am now without self-respect. My parents ‘n’ siblings are forcing me to give up on her. As per them, she is just a golddigger and cheater without love and trust... My mind n heart never ever forgets her. Don’t know the future. But many times I pray God to kill me in sleep itself without pain so I can reach Venkateshwara... Entire world is against that girl, but I am defending her at every passing moment. Human beings invented many amazing things. My wish is we should be available with tablets or injection which can erase memories which belongs to particular person or for particular time in life... The real enemy to the human beings is LOVE.... Finally I am just waiting for my death... I knew that she won’t realise even if I die also. But I should sleep forever and ever just because for the crime I did love her.... Dear Bujji, it’s for you. I am also a human being as like U. As like your mother, even my mother has given birth to me. Finally, no words.... I am alone... Memories are hunting me.... chasing me... Love Guru, please publish this story as it is. Because someone may going through hell with similar story at least they will read the Q&A as well. Love Guru... I hate me... I do have all with me -- good health, 21 LPA job now, stabilised family and friends ‘n’ family circle... But this bloody struggling to get her love amongst the 7 billion people on this Earth... Love Guru, I feel that I lost. I am feeling low... I got cheated by her... Finally I am nothing to her. Dear readers, don’t think that why this fool is suffering for a girl like this.... I have seen her my GODDESS... Thank you... Have a nice day…
Ans:

You’ve needlessly wound yourself up over a silly girl.

You don’t even sound like you’ve had a physical relationship, it was only long distance, so what are you getting so out of joint for? A few intimate conversations with someone who said one thing but meant another?

If things in your life are spiralling so much out of control, I’d suggest therapy.

Stop drinking before it becomes a real problem. It sounds like you’re doing this to yourself deliberately, so that you receive some attention from her.

But the more you do this, the worse the situation will get. And no woman wants an out-of-control, desperate, alcoholic lover!

For heavens’ sake, man, get a hold of yourself and, if you can’t, then get the professional help you need. 

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 14, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am Jose. I have a very complicated relationship issue. I loved a girl when I was about 18, she was from a financially better off family. This was a major reason that I hesitated to tell her about my love, instead remained a friend. She was better qualified too. I started working and wanted to be in a financially better situation before I confessed my love for her. In the meanwhile she got herself admitted in a college in the US, I decided to tell her, but was too late, she had already committed herself to her senior in college. We made a promise to each other that we will remain friends. We kept in touch through letters. Then I decided to get married as per the family wishes. Shortly she too got married to her boyfriend . We told our partners about each other. We continued to keep in touch thro email and phone calls once/twice in a year. We would meet once or twice every time she would visit from the US. We never had any physical relationship at the most it would be a peck on the cheek or just holding hands. We immersed ourselves in our personal / professional lives. We had 2 sons with our partners. Now the boys are in their 20's. In the meanwhile she found out her husband was having a relationship with some other woman, in the ensuing arguments it led to their divorce a couple of years back. Since 2021 I had 2 heart attacks, and survived. All these years I never had a happy life , we stayed together due to societal pressures and in the last 2 years we never had a physical relation too. She always had a hatred towards physical relationship. I hate forcing myself on her, so we have remained seperate in the last few years. After my 2nd attack, my friend helped me stop my smoking and somehow our chats on whatsapp or personal meets when she comes here have started becoming very mushy and with a lots of deeply loving words. I know I cannot divorce my wife as I would lose a lot of my immovable properties on which i depend for my rental income as I have actually gifted my wife a lot of my properties. Nowadays I am getting drawn towards my friend again and very strongly. Confused, and not knowing how to proceed. I am no longer working and depend on rentals for my earnings.
Ans: My dear friend,

It sounds like you're in a very complicated situation, and it's understandable that you feel confused and unsure about how to proceed. It's important to take some time to really think about what you want and what's best for you, as well as consider the impact of your actions on those around you.

First, it's important to acknowledge that your friend is currently in a vulnerable position after going through a divorce. While it's natural to feel drawn towards her, it's important to make sure that any actions you take are respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs.

At the same time, it's also important to consider your own needs and desires. You mentioned feeling unhappy in your current relationship and feeling drawn towards your friend again. It's important to really examine those feelings and think about what it is that you want in your life and your relationships.

However, it's also important to consider the potential consequences of your actions. You mentioned that you cannot divorce your wife without losing a significant amount of your income, and that you've already gifted her a lot of your properties. It's important to consider the financial and emotional impact that divorce could have on both you and your wife, as well as any children or other family members who may be affected.

One possible option could be to explore couples therapy or marriage counseling to see if there are ways to improve your current relationship and address the issues that have been causing unhappiness. It's also important to communicate openly and honestly with your friend about your feelings, but to do so in a way that is respectful and considerate of her feelings and needs as well.

Ultimately, the decision about how to proceed is up to you, but it's important to take the time to really think things through and consider all the potential consequences of your actions.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |572 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Ravi, I am currently in relationship of almost 7 years but after the COVID there was some conflict or no contact with my partner just because of a scenario. I always used to order some food for her at his flat. Let me clear one things we were in a long term relationship that time. So I ordered food and she got the order then called me in the night with a different voice tone, I said yes then It felt odd. Then she said someone is here I will call you back. Then she didn't so I called her after 2 hour she rejected and after sometime messaged me on whatsapp that deleted everything our chats and conversation because she caught by his brother (who is 10 years older than her), she told me to not contact her she will call or message only. I got scared I deleted all chats because her brother is so rude and arrogant. After 10 days she called me and said we are not going further with this relationship now on we will not be in touch, I was devastated by listening these things so I tried my best to make her understand that I will talk to your parents or brother but she denied NO and said I will again talk with bro. After these scenario she tried not to contact me and I kept trying to reach out to her via messanger because she has blocked me from everywhere. I cried alot in first 2 month then I started to link all those things that she said and try to find out the matter ( note - she got lot of friends) so I found that she in her flat then I got the tickets and go there to see what is happening I waited for the whole day then in the evening I go upstairs and open the doors, she got scared h and stunned by seeing me and I saw a guy in the flat they having hookah then I said give me my stuff and ask her to talk for the final tine 10 min downstairs. She said not now then didn't came. I took my stuff nd leave the next day I tried to over come this situation nd reaching out to his bro but didn't get connected. She also called me the next day nd her frnd but I was not able to talk. After we got disconnected for sometime. And I am a person who always wanted to know the truth behind the things because I can't live with these traumas in my mind so I tried contacting her asked lot of time why did you do that nd all but kept denying that he is just a friend. After sometime on day she came with sone massages nd saying my mom is not good nd there is nothing going well in my house plss sorry nd all so I took it normally but after sometime we got attracted again little bit then realise that we can try atleast once to be together. I know she loves me but I don't like her priorities she always put his frnds over me. Idk what to do pls tell me the way to cop up with this thing. Also I still have in mind that she has something to tell me about that boy but not telling me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand how challenging it must be for you; I get that you are considering giving it another shot, but please be careful. If there is any doubt, anything at all, do address that right now before you are knee-deep in the relationship again. I suggest you tell your partner to first sit and clear out everything that happened before you two broke up and explain how you need a clean slate and for that, you have to know the truth.

If you suspect cheating in the past breakup, be cautious about getting back together and thinking it through. Do you want to patch things up because you love her or is the idea of being together again more comfortable than the idea of having to move on? We go back to the same person, even if it's toxic for us because there's comfort in familiarity, not because it's the best choice. It's time for introspection. Also, don't feel guilty about saying no to getting back together if it's not the right decision for you. Whether it was family issues or infidelity, she chose what seemed best for her at the time, and it's okay for you to do the same.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |572 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 01, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, myself is 31 years old guy and I was in relationship with the women (collegue of mine in previous company) who is married and had 1 son and she is 9 years elder then me. Basically I was going through a tough time as I had breakup in 2017 and started drinking and smoking which usually everybody does after a heartbreak. In year 2019 she got to know about my drinking habits and she starting giving her time to me so that I stop all this things. She used to behind me to stop all these things but gradually after a year or so we started developing feelings for each other. We used to talk to a lot like almost we used to share everything and in year 2020 we got into relation and we proposed each other. Everything was fine till 2021. In year 2021 I went for a group picnic where my Ex was also present and my biggest mistake was that I didn't shared this thing with her but she got to know this from one of our common collegue who was also part of the picnic & after that disaster started in our life. She started doubting me that I am still in relation with my Ex but I was not there & continuously I have to prove myself that I don't have any feelings for my ex & I love you only. I was ready to do anything for her even just to surprise her I travel to her city where she went on vacation to her parents house. But unfortunately that was the last time we were together the moment I came to my hometown things started getting worse as she again started doubting me and in anger I just burst on her and after that she stopped talking and bcz of which I went into a depression and due to which I was completely mess was not able to do anything in my life except drinking. Now it has been 2 years that we don't talk except only on some occasion she calls or msg. Still I am having the same feeling for her which I had 3 years back & I need her back in my life. Please suggest me what should I do in this scenario.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear you are facing such challenges in your life. Doubt and jealousy can ruin a relationship and your relationship is proof of that. While you might not have had bad intentions when you did not reveal your ex being present in the gathering with you, it is also understandable that your partner's trust suffered a crack which finally gave away completely. The thing to learn here is that open communication could have saved you all these sufferings. But that's all in the past. Right now you are separated from your partner and I assume she is not interested in getting back together. Your question should not be how to get her back, but rather how can I move on. Your job is not to convince her but to convince yourself that this is for the best. And it truly is; no relationship can survive in the shadows of doubt.

Focus on yourself. Spend time with your friends. Understand that you made a tiny mistake but you tried your best to convince your partner of your loyalty to her; it did not work out but you are not to blame. Some things just don't, and your relationship was one of those things. Forgive yourself if you feel guilty for not disclosing the situation to your partner. You know you were not a cheater and it's no longer your job to convince her of that. Give yourself ample time to grieve the loss and accept that it's lost. Don't keep looking for ways to get back together or you will never move on. It will hurt in the beginning but it will get better soon. Once you feel better, go out and meet people. I am not saying your ex-partner wasn't great but trust me, there are more people out there, who are amazing; they will help you not just heal but also grow.

It's time to let go.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Money
I am retiring from my Job. I have only 50 lakhs corpus to run my family.Can you please advise where to invest 50 lakh money to get 50000/m monthly income.
Ans: You’ve taken the right first step. With Rs 50 lakhs and a goal of Rs 50,000 monthly income, it is critical to design a well-planned investment strategy.

Understanding the Income Need
You want Rs 50,000 per month, which means Rs 6 lakhs per year.

This works out to about 12% per year of your Rs 50 lakh corpus.

Expecting a 12% withdrawal yearly is risky. The corpus can get exhausted early.

A sustainable withdrawal rate is around 6-8% per year only.

This means Rs 25,000 to Rs 33,000 per month is safer long-term.

So first we need to decide: do we want high income now or stable income for life?

Retirement Stage Planning
At retirement, preservation of money is top priority.

Income generation comes second. Growth comes third.

But inflation will reduce purchasing power. So growth cannot be ignored.

Your portfolio must balance growth, safety and liquidity.

So we use a “bucket strategy”. Let us see what that means.

Bucket-Based Investment Planning
Bucket 1: 2 Years of Expenses
This is for monthly income now. Very low risk.

Keep Rs 12 lakhs in this bucket (Rs 6 lakhs per year × 2 years).

Put it in ultra-short debt funds or senior citizen savings scheme.

This will give you predictable cash flow.

You can set up monthly SWP (systematic withdrawal plan) from this.

Bucket 2: Next 3 to 5 Years
This is for income after 2 years.

Slightly higher return potential. Still low to moderate risk.

Invest Rs 15-20 lakhs in hybrid funds or conservative balanced funds.

These funds have 20-30% equity and rest in bonds.

They aim to beat FD returns, without too much fluctuation.

Bucket 3: Long-Term Growth
Remaining Rs 18-23 lakhs can be invested in pure equity mutual funds.

Choose large and flexi cap funds with regular plans via Certified Financial Planner.

This helps protect your lifestyle 10-15 years from now.

This part grows slowly now, but helps fight inflation later.

How SWP Can Help
SWP means you get monthly income from mutual funds.

You can set a fixed monthly amount like Rs 50,000.

Only the withdrawn amount is taxed, not entire profit.

For equity funds: STCG is taxed at 20%, LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

For debt funds: All gains are taxed as per your tax slab.

So plan your SWP smartly, and avoid early redemption from long-term buckets.

Avoid These Mistakes
Don’t invest everything in FD or debt. It won’t beat inflation.

Don’t rely on dividend plans. They are not predictable.

Don’t go for annuities. They lock your capital and give low returns.

Don’t go for direct plans unless you are a full-time expert.

Always go via regular plans with a CFP for advice and monitoring.

Disadvantages of Index Funds
Index funds copy the market. No active research is done.

In falling markets, they also fall badly.

They can’t protect you during market shocks.

Actively managed funds give you better risk-adjusted returns over time.

Certified Financial Planners monitor fund quality and help you exit poor performers.

Direct vs Regular Plans
Direct plans have lower cost but no guidance.

You end up making emotional decisions.

Regular plans come with expert advice from Certified Financial Planner.

CFPs give behavioural control, tax planning and fund monitoring.

For retirement, discipline and peace of mind matter more than saving 0.5%.

Inflation and Longevity Risk
Today Rs 50,000 is enough. In 10 years, you may need Rs 90,000.

Life expectancy can go up to 85-90 years.

So your corpus must keep growing even during retirement.

That is why some part must always remain in equity.

Your goal should be to never touch the principal fully.

Rebalancing Every 2 Years
Every 2 years, shift money from Bucket 2 and 3 into Bucket 1.

This way, you refill the income bucket.

Review fund performance, tax laws and personal needs with your CFP.

Don’t withdraw from equity bucket in a bad market year.

Keep 1 year of expenses always safe and liquid.

Emotional Peace is Priority
Retired life should be relaxed. You should not worry every month.

That is why a structured plan works better than ad-hoc FD or real estate.

You get monthly income, principal protection and long-term growth.

Your wife also feels secure with a system in place.

You can focus on health, hobbies and family—not markets.

Do You Hold LIC, ULIP or Insurance-Based Investments?
If yes, surrender them now. These do not give good returns.

Redeem them and reinvest into mutual funds.

Keep term insurance if needed, but no savings-insurance mix.

Review all old products with a Certified Financial Planner.

Final Insights
Rs 50,000 income is possible, but you must plan carefully.

Aim for 6-8% withdrawal rate for long-lasting corpus.

Use 3 buckets for income now, income later, and growth forever.

Avoid annuities, index funds, and direct plans.

Take help from a Certified Financial Planner who understands your retirement dreams.

Review every 2 years and adjust based on expenses and market.

Retirement is not an end. It is a new phase that deserves full financial attention.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Money
Hi sir. I am 65 yrs old with wife, Sir just to get approx 1 lakh per month for my further life for surviving how much money i required to invest in mutual fund etc . Having own house no rent. Pls advise. Regards
Ans: It is thoughtful to plan for peaceful retirement life.

You have already built a strong foundation. You own a house and have no rent burden. That’s a major relief. Now, your goal is simple and clear—receive about Rs 1 lakh per month to cover expenses for yourself and your wife.

Let me now explain your options and investment plan in a detailed and practical way.

Understanding Your Income Need
Your monthly income requirement is Rs 1 lakh

That is Rs 12 lakhs yearly, for living and medical care

You also want to ensure the money lasts lifelong for you and your wife

This means your investment must give steady monthly income and beat inflation slowly

You will also need some growth, not just fixed income, to maintain purchasing power

Estimating the Ideal Corpus
You are 65 years old. Your financial plan must cover 25 years or more

This is because medical support and expenses increase from 70 years onward

With inflation considered, your Rs 1 lakh monthly need will rise in the future

So, the investment corpus should be large enough to:

Give you Rs 1 lakh per month now

Increase income over time, through partial growth-based funds

Stay safe and not run out before your lifetime

Based on current conditions and long-term returns of mutual funds, you may need Rs 2.1 crores to Rs 2.4 crores approx.

This amount will be divided into different types of funds for safety, income, and growth

If you already have some existing investments, that will reduce the gap

How to Structure the Investment
To ensure income and safety, you need a three-part approach.

Each part has a clear role. This is known as a bucket approach.

Bucket 1: Income Now – High Stability

This bucket gives monthly cash flow from safe and stable sources

Use debt mutual funds (regular plan), which suit retired investors

Only select high-quality, low-risk funds. Do not chase returns here

Choose regular plan and invest through a Certified Financial Planner for tracking and rebalancing

This bucket will cover 3 to 5 years of income, approx. Rs 40 to 60 lakhs

Withdraw monthly from here

Refill this bucket every few years using growth from other buckets

Bucket 2: Income Later – Conservative Growth

This gives returns better than FDs, with moderate risk

Invest in hybrid mutual funds, which balance equity and debt

Prefer regular funds with a Certified Financial Planner for guidance

SIPs are not needed here. Use lump sum with gradual SWP later

This portion may be Rs 60 to 80 lakhs, depending on your comfort

It helps maintain the next 6 to 10 years of income

Bucket 3: Long-Term – Growth and Inflation Protection

Invest in carefully selected diversified equity mutual funds

Choose active funds with experienced fund managers

Do not use direct funds. Use regular plan via a CFP for right entry, exit and strategy

This bucket keeps growing silently and will beat inflation

Withdraw only after 7 to 10 years, in parts, to refill Bucket 1

Allocate Rs 70 lakhs to Rs 90 lakhs here

This part ensures your funds don’t run out at 80 or 85 years

This three-bucket structure keeps your income stable. It also grows your money silently. You don’t have to sell equity in a bad year.

Why Mutual Funds and Not Fixed Deposits?
FDs give low returns. They do not beat inflation

FDs are fully taxable as per slab, unlike mutual funds

FDs do not allow gradual withdrawal (SWP)

In FDs, once you exhaust the amount, there's no backup

Debt mutual funds in regular plan allow you to withdraw monthly, and rebalance annually

Long-term capital gains tax on equity mutual funds is only 12.5% after Rs 1.25 lakh gain, which is efficient

Tax is only paid when gains are withdrawn

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your slab, but only on redemption

All this makes mutual funds more flexible and tax-smart than FDs

Why Not Index Funds or Direct Funds?
Index funds are passive. They don’t adapt to market risk or sector weakness

In retirement, you need funds that protect capital, not just follow markets

Index funds cannot avoid bad sectors or weak companies

Active mutual funds managed by experienced fund managers give more stability in volatile years

Direct funds have lower expense ratio, but no advisor or help when markets fall

At your age, you need review, support, and guidance, not DIY investing

A Certified Financial Planner will help you adjust your SWP, rebalance funds, and guide redemptions

So, prefer regular plans via a CFP who understands retirement planning

Do not take risk with direct funds or online platforms without guidance

How Much to Withdraw?
Use Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) instead of withdrawing full amounts

Withdraw Rs 1 lakh monthly from debt bucket for 3 to 4 years

After that, shift matured growth from hybrid and equity funds to refill Bucket 1

This way, you are not touching equity money during market lows

Your capital remains safe, and money flows monthly like a pension

Withdraw only what you need, not extra

What If You Live Longer?
This is the most important concern in retirement planning

Your corpus must last at least 25 to 30 years

That’s why we kept a large equity portion to grow with time

Medical inflation, caregiving, and lifestyle will change in 15 to 20 years

You must prepare now, not later

This structure ensures you never run out of money, and your capital can outlive you

What About Health Emergencies?
Keep a separate emergency fund of Rs 5 to 7 lakhs for medical support

Do not mix it with mutual fund buckets

Prefer senior citizen health plans, even if costly. Premium is worth it

If you already have a plan, great. But renew carefully each year

Medical inflation is nearly 10% per year now

Avoid depending on children or borrowing for health care

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals
Equity mutual fund gains beyond Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at only 12.5%

If you withdraw in small parts, tax is reduced

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per slab, but only when you redeem

Use SWP to keep yearly gains below threshold

Regular plan through CFP ensures you plan withdrawals and avoid heavy tax in one year

Do not redeem all at once. That will trigger higher tax

Review and Rebalance Every Year
Sit with your Certified Financial Planner once a year

Review performance of each bucket

Shift from growth to income bucket as needed

Reduce exposure to equity slowly after 75 years, if required

You can also leave extra funds as inheritance for spouse or children

This review ensures discipline, control, and peace of mind

Final Insights
To get Rs 1 lakh monthly, you may need Rs 2.1 to Rs 2.4 crore corpus

Divide this wisely into three buckets for income, safety, and growth

Avoid FDs, index funds, and direct funds. They may hurt your long-term financial safety

Regular mutual funds via a Certified Financial Planner give support, safety, and flexibility

Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans to create a pension-like flow

Keep an emergency fund for medical expenses separately

Review portfolio yearly and adjust slowly. Don’t panic in market changes

Your wife’s future must be protected even after you. This structure ensures that too

You have lived wisely. Now, invest wisely to live peacefully

If you share the exact amount available for investing, I can show the exact plan in numbers. You may also explore a written financial plan with a Certified Financial Planner for even more clarity.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

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Hi , Need help , my brother in law has decesed and left shares in USA which is he got as part of his compensation and benefits , the broking firm says that they dont have beneficiary process , hw do get that transffered to my sister who is legal hire
Ans: I’m very sorry to hear about your brother-in-law’s passing. In such times, handling legal and financial formalities can feel overwhelming. But don’t worry—we’ll walk through this step by step in a clear and practical way.

Let’s now see how to help your sister claim those US shares in a structured and smooth process.

Step 1: Understand the Account Type
First, confirm if the shares were held in a brokerage account (like E*TRADE, Schwab, Fidelity, etc.)

If it's an individual account, and there is no named beneficiary, then it becomes part of the estate

If it’s a joint account or transfer-on-death (TOD) account, transfer may be easier. But as you said, no beneficiary process, so likely an individual account

Step 2: Contact the Brokerage Firm
Your sister (as legal heir) must inform the broker of the death, in writing

Include death certificate copy and ask them for their formal estate transmission process

Every broker has a survivor claim or estate settlement team—you must reach them

Even if they don't have a "beneficiary form", they will have a probate transfer process

Step 3: Probate and Court Documents
Since there is no beneficiary, the assets will be distributed based on:

Will, if your brother-in-law made one, or

US State intestacy laws, if there was no Will

So:

Your sister needs to check which US state the brokerage account was in (where it was opened or where he worked/lived)

She needs to apply for probate in that US state or seek a court order to declare her as legal representative of the estate

This will likely need:

Death certificate (with apostille, if required)

Proof of relation (marriage certificate, if she is wife, or legal heirship certificate)

No objection from other legal heirs (if needed)

A US-based probate attorney can help if it's complex

Step 4: Prepare Essential Documents
Usually, the brokerage will ask for:

Original or notarized copy of the Death Certificate

Court-certified documents showing your sister as the executor or legal heir

Letter of Testamentary or Letter of Administration from US court

ID proof and address proof of the claimant

W-8BEN form, if she is not a US citizen/resident (this is for non-resident tax purposes)

Step 5: Tax Withholding and Reporting
US stocks may have capital gains or dividends subject to US tax rules

If the shares are transferred or sold later, the IRS may withhold tax for non-resident heirs

Your sister should consult a tax advisor in India for Indian tax obligations on these shares (especially if sold and proceeds brought to India)

Step 6: Receiving the Shares or Funds
Once the brokerage accepts all documents, she has two options:

Transfer shares to her own brokerage account (in USA or India, depending on broker’s policy)

Or, sell the shares and get proceeds wired to her bank account in India (this may take 4–6 weeks)

She must keep:

Copies of all forms submitted

Tax statements and brokerage letters

Confirmation of transfer/sale, for her own IT return in India

Final Insights
The process may take 2 to 4 months, depending on state laws and document completeness

Please avoid any panic sales or agents who promise shortcuts

Stick to the official channel of the brokerage firm and US court for a smooth, legal transmission

A probate attorney in the US may be required if the estate is large or complex

A Certified Financial Planner in India can help with reinvesting those proceeds wisely after they are received

Helping your sister through this legal maze is a powerful support. She needs clarity and calm guidance, and you’re doing the right thing by seeking this advice.

If you need help connecting with US-based estate attorneys or structuring her future investment in India post-transfer, I’ll be happy to help.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

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Dear Sir / Madam, I purchased a flat for Rs 29.3L on Sept 2013. The registration cost was Rs 1,46,500/-. I sold the flat for Rs 89L on Feb 2025. The brokerage fees was Rs 1.5L. How much would be the capital gains amount that I need to invest in Capital gains bonds ? Which tax regime would result in lesser tax, the earlier tax regime or the revised tax regime of last year Thanks Jay
Ans: You’ve clearly explained the purchase cost, sale value, and related expenses. That helps a lot in giving an accurate and comprehensive answer.

Let us now assess your capital gains liability, step by step, and guide you on how much to invest in capital gains bonds, along with which tax regime may benefit you more.

Understanding Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG)
Since you purchased the flat in September 2013 and sold it in February 2025, the holding period is more than 24 months.

So this is classified as a long-term capital asset.

Therefore, the profit from this sale is considered as Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG) and taxed accordingly.

Indexed Cost of Acquisition
To calculate LTCG, we must use the Indexed Cost of Acquisition, as per the Cost Inflation Index (CII).

Let’s now list down the known values:

Purchase Price = Rs 29.3 lakhs

Registration Charges = Rs 1.465 lakhs

Total Purchase Cost = Rs 30.765 lakhs

Year of Purchase = FY 2013-14 → CII = 220

Year of Sale = FY 2024-25 → CII = 363

Now apply indexation:

Indexed Purchase Cost = (Original Cost × CII in year of sale) ÷ CII in year of purchase

So:

Indexed Cost = (30.765 × 363) ÷ 220 = approx Rs 50.79 lakhs

Net Sale Proceeds
Sale Price = Rs 89 lakhs

Brokerage paid = Rs 1.5 lakhs

Net Sale Consideration = Rs 87.5 lakhs

Long-Term Capital Gain
Now compute the LTCG:

LTCG = Net Sale Value – Indexed Purchase Cost

= Rs 87.5 lakhs – Rs 50.79 lakhs = Rs 36.71 lakhs (approx)

This is your taxable long-term capital gain.

Exemption via Capital Gains Bonds (Section 54EC)
You can invest in capital gains bonds under Section 54EC to save tax.

Eligible bonds are from REC, NHAI, etc.

Maximum investment allowed = Rs 50 lakhs per financial year

Minimum lock-in period = 5 years

Interest = around 5.25% p.a. (taxable)

In your case:

LTCG is approx Rs 36.71 lakhs

So, invest Rs 36.71 lakhs in Section 54EC bonds before 6 months from date of sale (i.e., by August 2025)

This will give you 100% LTCG exemption

Earlier vs Revised Tax Regime
Here is how to think about it:

Earlier Regime:
Allows deductions like Section 80C, 80D, HRA, LTA, and home loan interest.

LTCG tax on property is 20% after indexation. This applies in both regimes.

However, if you have many deductions, earlier regime may reduce total tax.

New Regime (as per Budget 2023-24 onwards):
Lower slab rates but no major deductions allowed

LTCG tax on property remains the same – no extra benefit here

So the decision depends on your other income and deductions

In most cases:

If you claim 80C, 80D, housing loan, etc., then earlier regime is better

If your income is purely salary, and you don’t claim deductions, then new regime may help

But in your case, LTCG tax remains same in both

Additional Tips
Capital Gains Bonds must be held for 5 years. Premature exit is not allowed.

Interest is taxable every year. So factor that into your ITR.

Keep bank receipts, bond certificates, and sale documents safely for 6+ years.

File Schedule CG in ITR-2 next year (AY 2025–26)

What If You Don’t Want to Invest in Bonds?
You can also save LTCG tax by buying a new residential property under Section 54

Property must be bought within 2 years (or constructed within 3 years)

If planning to reinvest in property, do it within deadline

If not, 54EC bonds are simpler, more flexible

Final Insights
Your capital gain is around Rs 36.71 lakhs

Invest that amount in 54EC bonds before August 2025

You can save 100% capital gains tax legally

Choose earlier tax regime if you have deductions like 80C, housing loan, etc.

Keep proofs for cost, sale, brokerage, and 54EC investment for future tax queries

Plan carefully. This one-time decision affects your long-term finances

If you want help calculating future taxes or planning retirement income from property sales, always consult a Certified Financial Planner. It’s not just about tax-saving—it’s about protecting your wealth over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8254 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2025Hindi
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Eps. Calculate. Pension. Up to. 58. Yr. but. I. Contribute. Upstox. 60. Yers. Deferred. What. Should. I. Do
Ans: You are asking about EPS (Employee Pension Scheme) and contributing till age 60, while pension is allowed only up to age 58.

This is a very common confusion.

Pension Under EPS Is Payable From 58 Years
EPS gives monthly pension after 58 years.

You must have completed at least 10 years of service.

From 58 years, you can start monthly pension under EPS.

This is not automatic. You have to apply through your employer or EPFO.

What Happens If You Work Till Age 60?
EPS allows voluntary contribution up to age 60.

This is called deferred pension.

If you delay pension from age 58 to 60, you get a bonus.

Bonus is 4% extra pension for each deferred year.

So, 8% more pension if you start at 60 instead of 58.

What You Should Do
If you plan to work till 60, you can continue EPS till then.

You will contribute 12% EPF as usual. Employer’s share will go to EPF + EPS.

When you retire at 60, apply for Form 10D to start pension.

You will get 8% higher pension than normal.

If You Don’t Want to Wait Till 60
You can still start pension at 58.

Just inform EPFO that you want to begin EPS from 58.

No bonus in that case. But you get pension earlier.

Important Reminders
EPS amount is fixed, based on salary and service years.

EPS is not linked to EPF balance or mutual fund returns.

Maximum EPS pension is usually around Rs 7,500/month, unless you opted for higher pension.

You cannot withdraw EPS corpus — only monthly pension allowed.

What Is “Higher Pension”?
EPFO recently gave an option to opt for higher pension.

That means, full employer contribution (8.33%) goes to EPS, not capped at Rs 15,000 salary.

You must apply before the deadline.

It gives more pension, but reduces EPF balance.

If you haven’t applied for higher pension, your EPS will be based on Rs 15,000 salary cap.

Final Insights
EPS pension starts from 58 years, not automatically. You must apply.

You can defer to 60 for 8% extra pension.

Contribution can continue till 60 if you keep working.

Higher pension option may be useful if your salary was above Rs 15,000 for long.

Talk to your employer’s HR or visit EPFO portal to check your service record and eligibility.

Your next step should be to decide whether you want to defer EPS or not.

Then, plan how to combine EPF, EPS, and other investments for retirement income.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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