I recently joined a job. And met a man, he said that he’s separated from his wife he’s 43 (I’m 27) and has 2 teen kids. He has been claiming that he loves me, we have been sexually involved, but here’s what - 1. My instincts says that he’s not right for me 2. One of my female colleagues claimed that he had sex with her (which he denies outragingly he even cried, vomited, and is willing to do anything to prove it) 3. He lies a lot. I have caught him on smaller lies but I have no proof of anything Now I communicated that I wish to be end this relationship but he insists that he wants to spend time with me till 30th. I am feeling suffocated and forced. He acts entitled to my time and energy. Every time I try to end things it leads to huge drama. What should I do?

Dear R,

And what exactly more do you want as evidence for you to value yourself much more?

His being in jail wasn’t enough? Whether he was falsely accused or not is something that you will never know.

Yet, you want to look the other way and give him the benefit of doubt on a man who hasn’t managed to stand on his own feet.

The fact that you feel used is perhaps stemming from your inner voice and you are just protecting yourself.

If you support him, you are always going to wonder whether him going to jail was under a false accusation or not.

So, think if you want to spend time with someone who is dependent on you emotionally and financially and someone who possibly has a hidden past.

Be happy and wise!

Dear SB,

What are you? His emotional sponge?

One thing I want to appeal to you is: Self-respect is something that we are so ready to give up for just a little love and attention. And the way you treat yourself is how others will treat you.

You are in your early 20s and you have an entire life in front of you and you want to build your career.

With the current space that you are in, do you feel you are choosing wisely to fulfil what you want from life and for yourself?

Also, are there other ways in which you can bring this relationship together. Like sitting him down and talking; maybe an elder in the family can do this.

If nothing works, remember, your life, your choice, your terms…nothing and no one can mess with your peace of mind unless you give them the permission to do so.

You want to prosper, then think and act in a manner that will allow you to prosperity and think of losing all that is keeping from feeling this prosperity.

Step up, take charge of your life NOW. All the best.

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