My husband and I met in college. We dated for 6 years and got married in 2018. In covid after his parents moved in, we started having arguments. Since we had nowhere to go, arguments turned to fights and we couldn't even sleep in separate rooms. After his parents left, we became distant. Our relationship became toxic with constant fights, blame game and emotional manipulation. I finally walked away to my parents place, thinking I'd feel free. Instead, I'm crying every night. Did I make a mistake, or is this normal post-breakup grief?

Hi, me and my husband are married for 12 years now, we have a daughter. Both of us are totally different, like north and south pole. He is very extrovert, tries to be the centre of attention, always needs his social circle, his work, friends circle is all that matters to him. I am a total introvert. I don't care about having friends, I hate parties, all that matters to me is my family. First few years, he made me feel that I am a misfit in this world and I had a huge pressure to be an extrovert like him. He was always like how can this famous Mr Extrovert can have such an introvert wife, that's so shameful. I tried changing myself because I was so desperate for his love and respect. All that mattered to him was my looks, how I conducted myself in front of people and after pregnancy, all that bothered him was my weight gain. I started hating myself, believed that maybe I just don't deserve to be loved. I went into depression after pregnancy. I had to leave my job to take care of my baby, his mom who was bed ridden by then, his dad who had serious health issues. I told him, thought he would at least care then. It took him 3 years after that to even come with me to a psychiatrist. He never cared. I always thought it’s my fault, tried to patch things up but now I am tired, really tired. I feel suffocated. I am afraid of separating from him. As a person, he is good but we are totally misfit for each other. I still cannot come to terms with all the emotional abuse I went through. He didn't intend to harm me, he thought he is only helping me to improve and be better but now, I don't know what to do, I am not happy.

Hi Anu, Nice to contact you. I came across many of your conversations online and I would like to share my life situation. If you could help in any way it would be a great support. I am married since 4 and half years now but we have stayed together only for 1 and half years. Rest of it was purely long-distance relationship. It was an arranged marriage and I entered it with great hope and dreams. I still believe I have had only bare minimum expectations from my partner as that of any young woman. After the marriage got fixed I had to leave my job and stay at my hometown. He works in a distant state. We were all hoping that after marriage, I’d go and live with him so will search for a job later. Even during prewedding discussions the talk was that he will shift to a new home before marriage and after marriage he will take me along with him. But two weeks after our wedding he left to work leaving me at his home with his parents in our hometown. He didn’t explain or give any reasons. It broke me. Those 2 weeks were wonderful and the best time of our marriage life. He came after 2 months, rented a new house and took me with him. It was good although small and silly arguments would happen. He loved me and I stayed there for a month. We returned to hometown after a month. He left me there and returned to work in 1 week’s time. I stayed with his parents (in between his mother met with an accident and I stayed with her for like 2 months). He took me back to his place for 3 months. When financial circumstances got bad, he changed. He stopped expressing love in any form other than getting me variety of food items. There was no romance, small talks or travelling outside. He sent me back to my parents’ place for 7 months. It made me really mad and we started to fight over the phone making us more distant. He was facing financial crisis, I wanted to be supportive but he never shared his feelings or plans with me. I never felt involved. Without a job I went into depression. To sort things, I stayed with him for 9 months looking for a job. He never showed any interest. I stayed at home for all those months feeling depressive and insecure. There was no romance, emotional or physical.He is perfect in his words and promises but never in his actions. I believed and waited for 3 years. Then my in laws suggested a job but it was at my native place. As it suited my educational qualifications I showed interest and he said okay. I applied and got the job. Since then I have not visited him at his work place. It’s been 2 years now and I stay with his parents. Due to covid he didn’t come for home for a 1 and half. A few months ago he came and stayed for a week. When people see us it’s 4 and 1/2 years of marriage but for us it’s not. Since we don’t have kids people are suspecting a lot. I don’t blame them.Clearly not everything is alright.My husband is a lovely person and he cares so much but I feel he is controlling me. May be because of his lack of emotional availability. But many things have bothered me a lot since our wedding.My husband and I have never visited or travelled a place alone, ever. We never had a honeymoon.My husband has never introduced me to any of his friends.I know nothing of him through a third person, all I know is what he has told me.These days he hardly calls me. I tend to get more frustrated and cry sometimes by sharing my feelings with him if he called very late at night. So he stopped calling me. When I asked he replied “when I call at night you are complaining, fighting and crying so I don’t call” He is running away from situations. I replied to him “you know that I will cry and there is a reason for that. Instead to solving the situation and not to make me cry, you would rather prefer not to call”. He said “Yes”. So he refrains from anything that upsets him. Long time ago due to some misunderstandings I refused to be physically romantic with him and he did the same to me for months and years which is also why we don’t have kids. But I cant explain or share this with anyone. I doubt about my future as I am scared that I will never be blessed with a life with shared love and romance.I miss myself being in love and happy.I miss my own very smile.I don’t put all the blame on him because I know am not perfect. But am not that evil to be punished like this in my life. I do deserve some happiness. He hasn’t abused me but absence of abuse doesn’t mean a healthy relationship. I have always felt lonely. Rather than love I have felt more judged for my actions and thoughts.There is not a single day in life where I do not think about leaving this relationship but it has become very difficult to picture a happy healthy future with him.It has become hard to have a simple conversation with him now.I hope for a healthy relationship in which my partner and I could be vulnerable to one and other.Am I expecting too much from him? Is it that am not good enough for him?Will this too pass? I am worried.I would like to stay anonymous.

Hello, I am 35 years old. Married. Not living with husband since an year, as he flirted with an office girl (this is the extent of it that I caught) and has tendency to do so. He is not emotionally aware (of himself or me) and I keep getting hurt as I am quite emotional. Also, I am not on talking terms with his parents as they had tried to sabotage our marriage in different ways on countless occasions. My husband wont agree (not that I want him to agree), but I think that's one reason of our increasing differences. I love him, but cannot find in my heart to move back with him ever again. We have a 5 year old kid, due to whom I am unable to move ahead with divorce. I am stuck in the midst, not knowing where to go next or stay in this same 'married but separated ' position forever. I'm definitely happier without the everyday petty bickering that we had when we lived together (which was turning me into a bitter and angry person, I don't want to be that). I have turned extremely distrustful of him. I do feel very lonely at times. We also went to a guidance counsellor to make the relation work some 1.5 years back, but my husband felt its a waste of money after 5 sessions, also he never invested in the emotional sorting that the counsellor mentioned our relation required. Any guidance?

Hi Anu. I am 32 years old. I got married to a guy through matrimonial app. He was very good before married. He used to shower me with love and respect and gifts. I loved him dearly. We got married 3 years back and I went to his house with lot of dreams in my life. But the moment I got married, I could see a lot of change in him. He no longer gave me much of his time. He was very attached to his mother and sister. He gave them money to run his house and not to me at all. I did not mind him getting things for his mother and sister but just not buying anything for me used to make me feel left out. He used to say that to me that you are a working woman. So can take care of your needs. Anu, I could take care of my needs financially....but I too needed his care and love. He went to a different city for work and refused to take me till I contribute 50% in the house. It came as a shock to me. Where was the love that he once showed me before marriage? For everything he wanted contribution from me. Slowly slowly we drifted apart. I found the marriage to be like going 50 -50 for everything. And this year we divorced each other. I was heart broken. I still remember the good days we spent together before marriage. It hurts me a lot when I remember how he changed after marriage. Now my parents want me to look after someone to get married. But somehow, I have lost trust in men. What should I do?