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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu. I am 32 years old. I got married to a guy through matrimonial app. He was very good before married. He used to shower me with love and respect and gifts. I loved him dearly. We got married 3 years back and I went to his house with lot of dreams in my life. But the moment I got married, I could see a lot of change in him. He no longer gave me much of his time. He was very attached to his mother and sister. He gave them money to run his house and not to me at all. I did not mind him getting things for his mother and sister but just not buying anything for me used to make me feel left out. He used to say that to me that you are a working woman. So can take care of your needs. Anu, I could take care of my needs financially....but I too needed his care and love. He went to a different city for work and refused to take me till I contribute 50% in the house. It came as a shock to me. Where was the love that he once showed me before marriage? For everything he wanted contribution from me. Slowly slowly we drifted apart. I found the marriage to be like going 50 -50 for everything. And this year we divorced each other. I was heart broken. I still remember the good days we spent together before marriage. It hurts me a lot when I remember how he changed after marriage. Now my parents want me to look after someone to get married. But somehow, I have lost trust in men. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It has not been an easy time for you.
But do remember that every challenging time only makes a person stronger. This is not a pep talk but a fact. Now, you are equipped with knowledge on what you seek in a relationship and what is absolutely not okay in a partner.
Now, I don't say that everyone needs to go through all this to learn BUT you have been in it, so better to look at the brighter side.
So, why would it scare you?
All men are not the way you ex was...He came in as a showpiece with all the glitter and then showed his true damaged traits. We don't need to go over that as that chapter is closed.
It's a fact that you must heal from that first before you get into another relationship as the baggage from it will weigh you down. And every small argument in a new relationship will seem like the end of the world. Also, you will be on the edge to make it work at all costs.
So, first heal from it all...through that, you must also be willing to drive a new thought into you which is: Not all men come in the tones which my ex had. They can be be different and I am willing to give my new life a chance.
This will be a useful path to embark on. If this seems daunting, then do visit an expert who can help you heal and guide you into a new phase of life. But let that new phase be something that you decide for yourself whenever you feel ready. Till then explore the world, expand your social circle and gain your lost self back first. Things will fall in place...one step at a time!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

Relationship
Hello Anu ma’am, I’m 30 years old female, working at an IT firm. I have been married for a year now. The marriage with my husband was arranged by our family members. I met him 2 months before we got married. We talked more during that period and the conversations were always pleasant and I felt care in them and finally made the decision that he is my match. Once we got married, things were good-to-okay in the first few months. I used to live with my in-laws and slowly noticed that he is moving away little by little. My connection with him started to feel weak. He and his mother would stop talking when I entered the room. I had to help more with house chores. I tried quite a lot to keep up with in-laws, husband, and work but soon sensed that mother in law and son have teamed up against me and everything I did was never satisfactory. The first thing that came up to my mind was to move out of the house with my husband and to start our relationship afresh. He didn’t like the idea and for my work reasons, I moved out and to the city where I work (which is a 3-hour drive from where he lives). This made the connection even worse. I used to go see him once or twice in a month but the relationship felt strained so I moved back within 3 months. Around this time he downloaded some dating apps on his mobile. When I asked him about it he said he downloaded out of curiosity and didn’t use it, but I can feel the change in him. Within 2 months I started to realise he’s being secretive with his phone or iPad and is spending a lot of time with them either texting or calls. I also noticed that he is talking to someone during the night while he is sleeping next to me. I felt betrayed and shattered to my core. All the things I learnt for him, all the things that I have done for him and his family, all the time and energy I have spent felt useless. When I confronted him he never accepted it and says it’s all in my head. I gave him some time leaving it aside thinking he would bounce back once he is done with it. So I asked him to move in with me so we could bond and spend time alone. We moved in together finally but things didn’t go as I expected. When I leave for work he would either go meet the woman or worse bring her home. He continued it and I ran out of patience. I talked about it with my family and his. My family supports my decision with whatever I would want to do and his family would back him up saying that they have brought their son up my utmost values and he wouldn’t do such a thing. So finally they have sent us back to our homes hoping things will be fine. He still talks to the woman every night and God knows how many times I cannot make it out in the day time. I’m sorry it’s a long read for you but I wasn’t sure what to express and what not to, for you to help me with a suggestion.I have tried to catch his act using technology but he is too clever to be caught. Trust me, I’m a tech lead at an IT firm and I have tried a lot of methods to catch him but all of them are valid-invalid proofs and he is quite a story teller to make them all look null.I feel nothing inside most of the times and simply want to come out of this but not without showing his true form. For once, I want to win. Win huge this way. If you can help me out I will be grateful for that. Please keep me anonymous if you could.Thanks a lot for reading this.
Ans:

Dear TK,

Thank you for sharing so clearly; it certainly helps me guide in the best possible manner.

If you feel that he is infidel, the there is no necessity to go around looking for proof.

What will proving that give you?

Even if you showed it all to his parents what is the guarantee that they will not turn it around and blame you for it?

That you should not have moved out and that’s why he needed the comfort of other women.

Quit focusing on proving his infidelity and focus on more what you want at this point in time.

Do you want to continue in this marriage?

If NO, exit in the most graceful manner because the stress from all the pulling down or Win that you are looking for is strenuous and of no use. It will only appease your EGO which anyway is short-lived.

But of course, if you are in the process of negotiating terms during divorce proceedings; this proof maybe valuable to have a better WIN. I hope I have succeeded in differentiating both types of WINs so you get a clearer picture.

Now coming to how you must deal with your mind space is as simple as listing down what is important to you.

Is it dwelling on what he does or emphasizing more on what you can do?

When it’s the latter, you will think and act in a manner that looks out for you and how you can keep yourself in an optimum mind space.

So, start focusing on what makes you happy and stick to that.

When you are ready to move on, make it graceful and if there seems to be a problem with negotiation, the proof that you have collected with a sane sense of mind will come in handy.

I assume that there are no children involved but if there are, take into consideration how they will cope with any decision of yours.

Bottom Line: Learn to live your life and focus on what’s important. I am confident that you can do this NOW.

All the best for a beautiful mind space!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022

Relationship
Hi Anu, Nice to contact you. I came across many of your conversations online and I would like to share my life situation. If you could help in any way it would be a great support. I am married since 4 and half years now but we have stayed together only for 1 and half years. Rest of it was purely long-distance relationship. It was an arranged marriage and I entered it with great hope and dreams. I still believe I have had only bare minimum expectations from my partner as that of any young woman. After the marriage got fixed I had to leave my job and stay at my hometown. He works in a distant state. We were all hoping that after marriage, I’d go and live with him so will search for a job later. Even during prewedding discussions the talk was that he will shift to a new home before marriage and after marriage he will take me along with him. But two weeks after our wedding he left to work leaving me at his home with his parents in our hometown. He didn’t explain or give any reasons. It broke me. Those 2 weeks were wonderful and the best time of our marriage life. He came after 2 months, rented a new house and took me with him. It was good although small and silly arguments would happen. He loved me and I stayed there for a month. We returned to hometown after a month. He left me there and returned to work in 1 week’s time. I stayed with his parents (in between his mother met with an accident and I stayed with her for like 2 months). He took me back to his place for 3 months. When financial circumstances got bad, he changed. He stopped expressing love in any form other than getting me variety of food items. There was no romance, small talks or travelling outside. He sent me back to my parents’ place for 7 months. It made me really mad and we started to fight over the phone making us more distant. He was facing financial crisis, I wanted to be supportive but he never shared his feelings or plans with me. I never felt involved. Without a job I went into depression. To sort things, I stayed with him for 9 months looking for a job. He never showed any interest. I stayed at home for all those months feeling depressive and insecure. There was no romance, emotional or physical.He is perfect in his words and promises but never in his actions. I believed and waited for 3 years. Then my in laws suggested a job but it was at my native place. As it suited my educational qualifications I showed interest and he said okay. I applied and got the job. Since then I have not visited him at his work place. It’s been 2 years now and I stay with his parents. Due to covid he didn’t come for home for a 1 and half. A few months ago he came and stayed for a week. When people see us it’s 4 and 1/2 years of marriage but for us it’s not. Since we don’t have kids people are suspecting a lot. I don’t blame them.Clearly not everything is alright.My husband is a lovely person and he cares so much but I feel he is controlling me. May be because of his lack of emotional availability. But many things have bothered me a lot since our wedding.My husband and I have never visited or travelled a place alone, ever. We never had a honeymoon.My husband has never introduced me to any of his friends.I know nothing of him through a third person, all I know is what he has told me.These days he hardly calls me. I tend to get more frustrated and cry sometimes by sharing my feelings with him if he called very late at night. So he stopped calling me. When I asked he replied “when I call at night you are complaining, fighting and crying so I don’t call” He is running away from situations. I replied to him “you know that I will cry and there is a reason for that. Instead to solving the situation and not to make me cry, you would rather prefer not to call”. He said “Yes”. So he refrains from anything that upsets him. Long time ago due to some misunderstandings I refused to be physically romantic with him and he did the same to me for months and years which is also why we don’t have kids. But I cant explain or share this with anyone. I doubt about my future as I am scared that I will never be blessed with a life with shared love and romance.I miss myself being in love and happy.I miss my own very smile.I don’t put all the blame on him because I know am not perfect. But am not that evil to be punished like this in my life. I do deserve some happiness. He hasn’t abused me but absence of abuse doesn’t mean a healthy relationship. I have always felt lonely. Rather than love I have felt more judged for my actions and thoughts.There is not a single day in life where I do not think about leaving this relationship but it has become very difficult to picture a happy healthy future with him.It has become hard to have a simple conversation with him now.I hope for a healthy relationship in which my partner and I could be vulnerable to one and other.Am I expecting too much from him? Is it that am not good enough for him?Will this too pass? I am worried.I would like to stay anonymous.
Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

These are your words that stood out for me.

‘I miss myself being in love and happy.

'I miss my own very smile.'

So, who is stopping you from these? Be in love, be happy, smile when you want.

You have tied these things to your marriage and have hoped that putting things together will bring a smile back on your face. As much as it’s true, it won’t be long lasting.

Now let’s focus on your marriage. What is this ‘being sent here, sent back there’?

What are you, some parcel/courier package to be sent here and there at will?

The first time that you felt that this being sent here and there was NOT OKAY, that would have been the time to voice it out.

Situations of a husband and wife being physically apart can come in anytime during a marriage. But this has to be handled with a lot of love and communication and not keeping silent and controlling it his way.

What has caused your hurt is the fact of non-communication from him, inability to validate your feelings, making you feel guilty for expressing your feelings and his unwillingness to work on this?

Request a person known to both of you to mediate to set up a meeting if both of you want to be in this marriage and live in peace and harmony. If you don’t step up now, things will be emotionally draining.

Also, as a woman, you don’t have to feel guilty for saying that something is not alright and that you want things to be different. You do not have to mask it with a statement that ‘he is a good man’ etc.

Be honest to yourself about what you feel and what you want. It helps putting things into perspective faster. STEP UP NOW and SPEAK.

Do that favour onto yourself please and also expect things to go the other way especially if he does not want to mutually set things right.

No matter what, know that strength from within is what will help you sort things for the better.

Be strong and value yourself. All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm a 47 year old woman working as an engineer in a corporate. I fell in love with my classmate when I was doing my engineering. He too loved me and we wanted to get married. But his father declined our marriage proposal since I did not belong to their caste. Since his parents disagreed, he did not want to go ahead with this marriage. So, we decided to leave the matter for now but continued to meet eaach other regularly and talk. A few months later, his parents forced him to get married to a close family acquaintance. Being the only child, my mom also forced me to get married to an alliance she had found suitable and i too got married. Even after marriage, I couldn't forget my boyfriend and so we would meet regularly after office and diacuss everything under the sun including our marital lives. I was never happy with my marriage and never had a child. He also seemed unhappy with his marriage but had a daughter with his wife. My husband passed away in a road accident after 3 years of marriage. I started feeling insecure and so forcedmy boyfriend to marry me. He declined to marry me due to societal pressure but was very keen to have a physical relationship. I also agreed and got pregnant with his child. When our son was 6 months old, he helped me find a rented home close to his home so that he could meet me to fulfil his physical desires. Now that my son is 10 years old and beginning to understand things, he keeps asking why his fathee doesnt stay with us and visits us only occasionally. He has never celebrated our sons birthday or taken us put anywhere. I have remained his mistress and so feel very insecure and neglected in this relationship. I also find it very difficult to lead a life like this. When i discuss this with my boyfriend, he says he cannot leave his wife and daughter for our sake (he seems to have a soft corner for them). We have had serious fights about this, and i have even told him to stay away from our lives. But he continues to come to me whenever he wants a physical relation and i succumb to the situation. Now, i feel used and want to cut off this relationship. As my son grows old and gets to know of all these things, i am afraid what he will think of me. I dont want to be looked down by my son. I have a good job, i am financially independent and have bought an apartment as well. I am confident that i can take good care of my son and lead a decent life. Please suggest what i should do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly are you living off the scraps of this guy? (In terms of love)
He clearly has sent a message that there's no family with you and your son. So, when he comes over just for sex, how does that make you feel? The reason that you writing to me is perhaps that you feel disrespected with his behavior.

You are financially independent and have the freedom to raise you son out of this confusing environment. Why would you not do that and actually free yourself from this unsettled feeling? If you are looking for love, care and affection from this man, let me draw this out for you...he is clear that he is not going to leave his family and hey, why would he? His wife has not been a party to all of this.

With all the complications of having a relationship on the side, you brought a child into this world out of wedlock (that's still not the issue), the issue is that you are still hanging onto him and the scraps he throws at you in the form of intimacy. Do not mistake sex for love...Sex stems from Love and not the other way round. So, if you feel that someday he's going to crawl back to you if you keep the sex going, I highly doubt that. Plus, again that would be unfair to his wife as well.

Now, why would you not give yourself a chance to move away from this and actually pursue a healthy relationship (when you feel that you are ready)? And that can happen only when you actually decide that you value yourself and respect for you is non-negotiable. Would you be willing to do that?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1664 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I got married in December 2012. Love marriage, we met in the office. I clearly told him that if I get married I would need to give one years salary to my dad as he has loan installments to pay and also told him my dad would do good wedding arrangements however no dowry should be asked. When his parents came to see me for the first time they came all prepared to finalize the relationship however we weren't aware. Me and my parents thought they are just coming to see me and the family. But when they started off with basic rituals that is when we were stunned but then went along. His father asked dowry from my dad and he was speechless but when I denied my father spoke to them and said he will bear all their expenses too but won't be able to give dowry. When I confronted my husband he said he wasn't aware that his dad will ask for dowry. We got married and when we visited his hometown his father confessed that he was not aware that me and my husband had discussed no dowry part otherwise he would not have asked my father. I was infuriated but I let it go. Soon after an year my salary started coming in and he would tranfer it in his account. I did not pay attention to it. Soon all the money was in his control. There came a situation in my family, my sister's wedding was called off by groom's end three days before the wedding and it was a shock. My husband asked us to write a letter stating all about the situation so that it can be submitted to the police. My husband kept a copy of that letter with him. During the lockdown my father asked for some monetary help from me but my husband denied to help him, and I started hating him to my core. Soon my mother in law moved in with us when my father in law expired. Since then our relationship sucked. She would always manipulate his son. I got so furious I started putting sugar in my husband's milk as he is diabetic and then later confessed it to him. Now he is threatening me of releasing that letter to my sister's husband and also has kept all the money in his control. He says he will make me feel sorry for what I did and also we are just living in my home but we have no relation and he does not talk to me. I don't want this relationship to flourish anyways but I need to know what can I do if I can get half of the assets. Please suggest what I can do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since you have decided not to stay within the marriage, the best recourse would be to seek legal advice and move ahead. He/She will advice you on assets split, custody etc.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

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Relationship
My husband left me physically 5 years back and mentally many years back. He is not interested in emotional connection. His only interest with me was unnatural sex which after years I started denying it and he left me. I have two kids, a daughter and a son. Though my kids staying with me, for their education and other needs, they are always supportive to their father and never give any emotional support to me. He has taken the educational fee of both the children, other day to day expenses are taken by myself. My daughter never wants both of us to live together and always shows arrogance to me. She is 24 years now. She moved away recently to abroad for studying, keeping the house where we stay on loan. My son also wish to do higher studies staying in hostel. He is 18 years now. My parents are not supportive to me. I had a very abused and tortured childhood. My husband and children knew about it. I was rank holder in my school but still I could not pursue my dream profession due to domestic violence. I had just completed a useless bachelors degree before marriage. I struggled a lot to study after marriage and did small jobs at different companies. I get up at 4am and start my work till late night. I tried to be perfect in everything what I do. But I have low confidence and self esteem. I could not reach anywhere. I know how to study to get good score, so I helped my kids in their studies. They did well but after that they dumped me. My husband was also a lazy person initially, wasted all his money, never know savings. He was a 12th failure but a good artist and a good chain smoker who earned a lot of money through freelance. With constant push he started investing and bought a house. He has some investments, so now he is not working and left me and living alone. I don't know if he has someone else with him. He also dumped me. I am sad and feeling useless. I am not able to help my self. I have mood swings, not able to concentrate in anything. I want to look for a new job but I find myself incapable and doing nothing. I don't think anyone can help me, because everyone indicating its all my fault, or at least I think so. I have to start a job immediately but I am feeling helpless. please help
Ans: Dear Leena,
The weight of rejection from your husband and the lack of emotional support from your children are wounds that take time to heal. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and lost right now. What’s important is recognizing that these feelings don’t define who you are or your worth. Your struggles do not negate the fact that you are capable, intelligent, and deserving of happiness and fulfillment.

You have already shown that you are resourceful and capable by managing the household, guiding your children in their education, and supporting them financially. While you may feel stuck and unsure of where to begin, it’s crucial to start small and focus on one step at a time. This could mean reaching out for help from a therapist or counselor who can guide you through rebuilding your self-esteem and addressing the emotional pain you’ve carried for so long. A professional can provide a safe space to unpack the hurt and help you rediscover your confidence.

When it comes to finding a job, it’s natural to feel insecure, especially after years of self-doubt. Remember that every small effort counts. Consider looking for roles where your skills—like organization, perseverance, and the ability to mentor and teach—can be valuable. You helped your children excel in their studies, and that’s no small feat. Perhaps tutoring, administrative work, or even roles that involve mentoring could be a starting point. Allow yourself to take it one step at a time without the pressure of achieving perfection right away.

It’s also important to create space for self-compassion. You’ve been so focused on meeting everyone else’s needs that it’s easy to lose sight of your own. Even small acts of kindness toward yourself, like a daily walk, journaling your thoughts, or listening to music, can help you reconnect with yourself. You deserve to feel loved and valued, even if that love starts from within.

This period of transition may feel lonely, but it can also be an opportunity to redefine what you want for yourself. It’s not too late to pursue a path that brings you fulfillment and peace. Remember, your worth is not determined by others’ opinions or actions but by the strength and kindness you continue to show despite everything. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to reach out for help as you begin this new chapter of your life.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10071 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir, My home loan is 24.5 LAC. And it's started from last year April 2024, my emi is 30,600 per month for 10 years, if i paid 10 LAC in Jan 2026 it will be beneficial for me or wait for sometime to pay pre closure amount
Ans: Your question is very timely and thoughtful.

You have already completed over one year of EMI payments.

You are also planning a Rs. 10 lakh prepayment in Jan 2026.

This shows strong discipline and intention to reduce debt early.

That is highly appreciated.

Let’s evaluate the benefit from all angles before making the decision.

Let’s assess your EMI schedule, tax benefits, interest savings, and liquidity needs.

We will also look at emotional peace, risk readiness, and overall financial health.

» EMI Tenure and Loan Progress

– Your loan began in April 2024. EMI is Rs. 30,600 for 10 years.

– By Jan 2026, you would have paid 21 EMIs. That is nearly 2 years of repayment.

– You would still have around 99 EMIs pending after Jan 2026.

– Most interest is paid in the first few years. That’s how home loan schedules work.

– So prepayment at this stage can save you substantial interest.

– But, the benefit must be compared with your other financial needs.

– This is not only about saving interest. It is about holistic financial planning.

» Interest Cost Evaluation and Savings Opportunity

– Your home loan interest rate is not mentioned. But let us assume a normal range.

– Most floating-rate loans now charge 8.5% to 9.5% annually.

– Prepaying Rs. 10 lakhs will reduce the outstanding principal sharply.

– As a result, the total interest over the loan period will reduce.

– You may save many lakhs over the long term by doing this early prepayment.

– You will also reduce your EMI period or future EMI amount.

– That helps you become debt-free faster.

– But, timing matters. January 2026 is still over 5 months away.

– You must consider where that Rs. 10 lakhs is now kept.

– Is it earning anything? If kept idle in savings, it gives low returns.

– In that case, prepayment gives better value.

– But if it is growing in mutual funds or long-term instruments, returns may be higher.

– Compare this interest cost versus what you earn from that Rs. 10 lakh.

– You must also think about safety, peace of mind, and future stability.

» Tax Benefits on Home Loan and Prepayment Impact

– Under Sec 24(b), you get deduction of up to Rs. 2 lakhs on home loan interest.

– This reduces your taxable income. Helps especially if you are in the 20% or 30% slab.

– Also, under Sec 80C, you get Rs. 1.5 lakh deduction for principal.

– But that Rs. 1.5 lakh 80C is usually covered by EPF, PPF, insurance, ELSS, etc.

– If you prepay Rs. 10 lakh, your interest in future years may fall.

– Then, the Rs. 2 lakh interest deduction under Sec 24(b) may not be fully used.

– But remember, you are spending Rs. 10 lakhs to save Rs. 2-3 lakhs of tax.

– That alone should not decide the choice.

– Interest saved is usually more than tax benefit lost in the long run.

– Prepayment still makes sense. But only if you are not compromising other goals.

– Always assess tax benefit as a secondary aspect, not the main reason.

» Your Liquidity and Emergency Readiness

– The biggest question is: Will you have enough money left after prepayment?

– Will you still have emergency funds of 6 to 12 months of expenses?

– Will you have cash for job loss, health issues, or family needs?

– Rs. 10 lakh is a big amount. Once paid, you cannot get it back easily.

– Banks do not refund prepayments. So you must be ready for cash crunch.

– If you have other liquid savings of at least Rs. 3 to 5 lakhs, then it is safe.

– But if this Rs. 10 lakh is your full backup, wait before prepaying.

– You must not become asset-rich but cash-poor.

– Also, do not disturb investments set for your long-term goals.

– Check how your mutual funds, PF, PPF, child goals, and retirement are aligned.

– Your financial safety net should never be at risk due to a home loan prepayment.

» Emotional Peace and Debt Reduction Mindset

– Paying off loans early gives peace of mind.

– Mentally, it feels lighter to reduce your EMI burden.

– For many families, freedom from loans matters more than returns from investment.

– If this Rs. 10 lakh is not required for your next 5 years, then prepaying is peaceful.

– But if the same money is helping you sleep better by keeping it in hand, wait.

– Your comfort and security are more important than any math.

– Financial planning is not only numbers. It is also emotional readiness.

– A good Certified Financial Planner balances both head and heart.

– If you feel better seeing lesser EMIs or faster closure, then go ahead with prepayment.

– If you fear losing liquidity or missing opportunities, then wait.

– In either case, the aim is to stay financially strong, not just interest-efficient.

» Other Choices to Use That Rs. 10 Lakh

– If you are not fully prepared for long-term goals, this Rs. 10 lakh may help.

– Retirement corpus, child education, spouse goals — all need investment.

– If those are underfunded, invest this Rs. 10 lakh in mutual funds.

– But not in index funds or direct funds.

– Index funds may look cheap, but they follow the market blindly.

– They underperform in volatile or sideways markets.

– Actively managed mutual funds by experienced managers adapt better.

– Direct funds also seem cheaper on surface.

– But there is no support, guidance, or review.

– Regular plans through a qualified MFD with CFP guidance add long-term value.

– The extra 0.5% cost gives better selection, periodic review, and mistake-avoidance.

– That brings better return than direct, unmanaged investing.

– So if you delay prepayment, don’t keep that Rs. 10 lakh idle.

– Put it to work through a long-term, diversified, tax-aware mutual fund portfolio.

– Match it to your goals, age, and risk appetite.

– Use only debt funds for less than 3 years. Use equity for more than 5 years.

– Also follow the updated capital gains tax rules now in force.

– These will apply when you exit mutual funds later.

– If this Rs. 10 lakh is not required in near future, investing may grow your wealth.

– If this feels unsafe, then home loan prepayment is still a good call.

» Ideal Approach Based on Situation

– If you have no major upcoming expense, then early prepayment is useful.

– If your emergency fund is untouched, then this move is secure.

– If your long-term goals are already funded, prepayment clears debt faster.

– If interest rate is above 9%, prepayment becomes even more beneficial.

– If job is stable and no income interruption is foreseen, go ahead.

– But if any of these are weak or uncertain, do not hurry.

– Wait for 6-12 months. Observe how rates, income, and expenses move.

– Meanwhile, invest that Rs. 10 lakh in a short-term fund with liquidity.

– Let that money earn better than savings account.

– If situation remains strong by Jan 2026, you may prepay with full confidence.

– Else, you can decide again at that point based on comfort and readiness.

– Either way, you are still progressing.

– Both options — prepayment or investing — are productive, if handled with thought.

» Finally

– You are thinking in the right direction. That’s the best start already.

– You are not ignoring the EMI burden. You want to plan ahead.

– That is very encouraging.

– Do not feel forced to prepay or delay.

– The right answer depends on your comfort, liquidity, and goals.

– Early prepayment is good if your financial base is ready.

– But there is no harm in waiting a few more months and reassessing.

– Peace and clarity are more important than urgency.

– You can also take part prepayment route. Pay Rs. 5 lakh in Jan 2026.

– Keep another Rs. 5 lakh for emergency or mutual fund.

– That brings the best of both.

– Stay debt-free, but also stay liquid and goal-focused.

– A Certified Financial Planner can help you model both paths and take balanced action.

– The right move is one that fits your full financial picture — not just the EMI part.

– Keep going strong.

– You are already ahead of many by asking this question today.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10071 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Aug 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 05, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 35yrs old and my monthly salary is 75k. I am married and I have family health insurance of 10 lakhs, I have a daughter and a son and we are expecting the third child in the month of December. I have started with SIP of 1k 3 months back. I am taking mortgage loan of 30 lakhs on the house for 13 % interest from IIFL kindly suggest me to utilise the loan amount properly in various ways possible to invest. I am planning to utilise for the coaching centre development and 10 lakhs is taken for my brothers kidney transplant treatment expenditure.
Ans: – You are managing family, career, and investments together.
– Starting SIP early is a very positive step.
– Taking responsibility for your brother’s treatment shows great strength.
– Planning coaching centre development is a wise idea.
– Having family health cover is also a good base already.

» Analysing the Loan and Its High Interest Rate

– Rs. 30 lakhs loan at 13% interest is quite costly.
– This means high EMI and high total interest outgo.
– Every rupee must be used carefully to avoid wastage.
– Unused funds from the loan must not sit idle.
– Interest burden will continue regardless of usage.

» Immediate Medical Emergency for Brother

– Rs. 10 lakhs for kidney transplant is necessary and unavoidable.
– Keep this amount fully liquid and easily accessible.
– Use savings account or short-term ultra-safe debt fund.
– Avoid locking this amount in business or market-linked funds.
– Medical treatment should be done on priority basis.

» Business Development – Coaching Centre Use

– This is an opportunity for future income growth.
– Plan expansion only after checking location demand.
– Avoid spending large amount at once.
– Phase out business investments over 6 to 12 months.
– Start with essentials like rent, furniture, and staff salary.
– Don’t overspend on branding or decoration initially.
– Use part of loan in setting up technology and marketing.
– Focus on breakeven as early as possible.

» Avoid Spending Full Loan Immediately

– You are not forced to use all Rs. 30 lakhs now.
– Keep a part of loan in low-risk parking place.
– Use short-term debt fund or liquid fund with no exit load.
– Withdraw when business or medical needs arise.
– Don’t allow funds to lie in savings account earning low interest.

» Do Not Use Any Amount for Consumption

– Don’t use loan money for personal luxury or lifestyle.
– No electronics, jewellery, or vehicles from this loan.
– You are paying 13% interest, use it only for value creation.
– Avoid giving any part of the loan to others as casual support.

» Managing EMI Alongside Household Budget

– EMI on Rs. 30 lakhs at 13% will be heavy.
– Your Rs. 75k salary will face pressure from EMI, SIP, and family.
– Keep fixed monthly expenses under tight control.
– Review all regular spends and cut non-essentials.
– Prioritise needs over wants for the next 2–3 years.
– Increase SIP only once your EMI is manageable.

» Continue SIP with Discipline

– Though amount is small, your SIP builds wealth habit.
– Don’t stop SIP even if budget becomes tight.
– Increase SIP slowly as income rises.
– Choose actively managed funds, not index funds.
– Index funds don’t protect during market fall.
– Active funds adjust to changes and give better protection.

» Direct Funds Are Not Ideal for You

– Avoid investing in direct mutual funds.
– You get no personalised support or guidance there.
– Wrong decisions can damage long-term wealth.
– Invest via regular plans with an MFD and CFP.
– Get full-time advice, updates, and goal tracking help.

» Emergency Fund is Missing

– You must keep Rs. 1–2 lakhs aside for emergencies.
– This should not come from loan amount.
– Build this over next few months from salary savings.
– Use high-liquidity options like liquid mutual funds or sweep FD.

» Child-Related Future Expenses

– You are expecting third child soon.
– Future expenses like education and health will increase.
– Avoid touching SIP or business funds for school fees.
– Plan separate SIPs for kids’ education goal later.
– Maintain health insurance with maternity cover wherever possible.

» Keep Personal and Business Accounts Separate

– Don’t mix business and personal funds.
– Create a separate bank account for coaching centre.
– Record all income and expense in simple format.
– Use business income to slowly repay loan too.

» Loan Repayment Should Be a Priority

– Try to repay part of loan early if possible.
– Business profit can be used to prepay some part.
– Even Rs. 2–3 lakhs paid early will reduce interest burden.
– Don’t wait for full term of loan.
– Avoid taking another loan till this one is cleared.

» Don’t Invest Remaining Loan in Risky Options

– Don’t try to grow loan money via equity investments.
– You are paying 13% interest.
– Most equity returns are not guaranteed and are market linked.
– If returns go down, you still pay full interest.
– Use loan only for fixed needs like business or treatment.

» Avoid Insurance-Cum-Investment Products

– Don’t use loan money for buying ULIPs or endowment plans.
– They give poor returns and lock your money.
– They mix insurance with investment, which is harmful.
– If you already hold such plans, review and consider surrender.
– Use that money in good mutual funds for better results.

» Long-Term Financial Strategy After Loan Use

– Once business is running, start surplus-based SIPs.
– Create specific SIPs for child education and retirement.
– Review insurance needs again after third child is born.
– Don’t over-rely on health cover from employer.
– Take term insurance separately for family safety.

» Monitoring and Support

– Review all goals every 6 months.
– Track loan balance, business income, SIP growth.
– A CFP can support you across all financial areas.
– Work with MFD for implementation and fund advice.

» Finally

– You are taking bold and smart steps under pressure.
– Rs. 10 lakhs for brother’s health is unavoidable.
– Use it only for that and keep it liquid.
– Use balance money gradually for coaching centre.
– Don’t spend full Rs. 30 lakhs in one go.
– Avoid luxury or emotional spending with loan money.
– Keep EMI low by avoiding misuse of loan.
– Continue SIP without fail.
– Avoid index funds and direct funds.
– Use only actively managed mutual funds through MFD.
– Repay loan as early as possible.
– Start new SIPs once income improves.
– Maintain strong financial habits and discipline.
– Your future will surely improve with right planning.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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