Anu Krishna |825 Answers |Ask -Follow
Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022
Dear Anonymous,
These are your words that stood out for me.
‘I miss myself being in love and happy.
'I miss my own very smile.'
So, who is stopping you from these? Be in love, be happy, smile when you want.
You have tied these things to your marriage and have hoped that putting things together will bring a smile back on your face. As much as it’s true, it won’t be long lasting.
Now let’s focus on your marriage. What is this ‘being sent here, sent back there’?
What are you, some parcel/courier package to be sent here and there at will?
The first time that you felt that this being sent here and there was NOT OKAY, that would have been the time to voice it out.
Situations of a husband and wife being physically apart can come in anytime during a marriage. But this has to be handled with a lot of love and communication and not keeping silent and controlling it his way.
What has caused your hurt is the fact of non-communication from him, inability to validate your feelings, making you feel guilty for expressing your feelings and his unwillingness to work on this?
Request a person known to both of you to mediate to set up a meeting if both of you want to be in this marriage and live in peace and harmony. If you don’t step up now, things will be emotionally draining.
Also, as a woman, you don’t have to feel guilty for saying that something is not alright and that you want things to be different. You do not have to mask it with a statement that ‘he is a good man’ etc.
Be honest to yourself about what you feel and what you want. It helps putting things into perspective faster. STEP UP NOW and SPEAK.
Do that favour onto yourself please and also expect things to go the other way especially if he does not want to mutually set things right.
No matter what, know that strength from within is what will help you sort things for the better.
Be strong and value yourself. All the best!
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