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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 27, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Pari Question by Pari on Jan 26, 2023Hindi
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Mam, I am married for 13 yrs and it was a love marriage. We have 2 kids. My husband is less supportive. I look after my kids, my work, home without help from him. Even when I work he does not bother to make tea or help with cooking. He would get angry and abuse physically for intimacy. For last few years he started drinking a lot and indulge in fight outside. He had 2 police cases against him. I came close to someone. I told my husband I want to separate, but instead he became abusive. I don't love him. I feel I am his sex slave just fulfilling his desire, if I won't do that he will quarrel, stop eating and harass me mentally. What should I do?

Ans: Dear P,
If a dear friend had come to you with the same problem, what would you have suggested to her?
Would you have asked her to continue with a person who's being inconsiderate?
Would you have not suggested to her that she might need to go into couples therapy?
Certainly, status quo isn't something that you would have advised her to be in especially when she's with someone who has had two police cases against him!
You are dealing with a person who has had a massive change in behavior. Did you not see these red flags earlier? No point digging the past...
Thers is no need to submit to his tantrums and give into sex. He's using it to 'tame' you and make you meek.
Seek the help of someone strong within the family to talk to him...
Move out for a few days/weeks to gain your confidence back...if this is not possible, sleep in a separate room...if he pesters you for sex, look him firmly in the eye and say NO...
Have a dear friend/family member on speed dial...
The welfare of your children's is dependent on you; so to safeguard them, you need to care about yourself first!
You are not meek, do what you would have advised your friend.
All the best!

.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1471 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2022

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Relationship
Dear mam, I am a working woman married for 14 years with two kids. Ours was a love marriage. But immediately after my marriage I noticed that my husband was over aggressive and very possessive. He wants me to be under his control all the time. Whenever I say something against his will he starts abusing me and family. He has suicidal tendencies and has attempted in the past also. When his anger gets controlled he starts conversation with a sorry. This situation will continue for a few days and after that he will start again. This has been my life for the past 14 years. Sometimes he does manhandle and indulges in forced sex. I am fed up with this nature of his. Please suggest what I can do.
Ans:

Dear S,

It’s time someone showed the man what a MAN truly is.

Do you have a close family member who can talk to him?

If NO, this is your husband. No one knows him better that you do…

Notice:

  • What actually triggers him to become aggressive and possessive?
  • What situations have led him to attempting suicide?

If there is a mental illness that we are looking at, it needs intervention ASAP.

Never be afraid to push back when you are forced into sex…It is called ‘Marital Rape’ just in case you didn’t know.

It’s not Okay and it is definitely not mandatory that a woman needs to give in to satisfy her husband’s sexual urges.

If he continues forced sex, you can approach a local NGO that supports women with domestic violence, and they can help you with the next course of action.

Do not feel obliged to put up with things that eat your soul away.

Make sure you keep your sanity intact by surrounding yourself with the best people who care and love you.

Pick up a hobby that fills you with joy; this joy can help you think with a clear mind when you step into your marriage for the day.

One step at a time, but take that STEP…You are important.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |512 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am 45 years of age having two childrens and I am also working.My husband is good with me but not with my parents and sister most of the time he abuses them without any reason .This make me upset and many time I discuss this matter with him but he doesn't realise his mistake. I told him to meet councellor but he is not ready . And often he take drink and without any reason abuses any one around him Many time situation becomes out of control and I want to end my relationship. Kindly guide me
Ans: First and foremost, your feelings are entirely valid. It’s deeply troubling when someone you love and live with is disrespectful and abusive towards your family members and those around him, especially when he drinks. Your husband’s behavior, despite your efforts to communicate and suggest counseling, is not only affecting you but also creating a toxic environment for your children.

It’s crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health. Living in an environment where abuse and excessive drinking are present can have long-term negative effects on both you and your children. This kind of stress and emotional turmoil can erode your sense of self and well-being over time.

Since your husband has refused counseling and doesn't acknowledge his mistakes, it may be necessary to consider stronger steps. Think about what you want for your future and what kind of environment you want for your children. Reflect on whether staying in this relationship is conducive to that vision.

If you’re contemplating ending the relationship, it’s important to have a clear plan. Seek support from trusted friends or family members, and consider speaking with a professional counselor or therapist to help you navigate your feelings and plan your next steps. Legal advice might also be necessary to understand your rights and ensure you and your children are protected.

Take time to consider what is best for you and your children in the long term. Your well-being and safety are paramount, and sometimes the healthiest choice is to remove yourself from a harmful environment. By doing so, you’re not only taking care of yourself but also setting a positive example for your children about self-respect and the importance of a healthy, loving home.

..Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7752 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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I am a 48 year old widow. I have a 21 yr old daughter in college. I had quit my job, but rejoined now and have a monthly take home of 1L 15k. I receive similar pension amount too. But this pension amount will get reduced to 90k after 10 years. I have an own property (apartment bought in 2010) - 14 k rent monthly. I have around 40 L that I wish to invest. I am still coping with the loss and am confused as to what I need to do to get a grip on the finances. I have invested around 12 L in mutual funds. I have applied for a term insurance - around 1 L annual premium for 10 years. I am also repaying the home loan around 15k per month with tenure left for 20 months. I am planning to move out on my own from my sister's place where I am staying now (my own house is not in Bangalore where I work). So, I will definitely need 25k per month for rent if I move out. Please advise on how to manage my finances. Shall I repay the home loan and clear the debt (around 5 L principal outstanding)? Should I invest in some pension plans? Please advise. Thanks!
Ans: Your financial situation requires a structured approach to ensure long-term security. You have multiple income sources, a property, investments, and financial commitments. A clear plan will help manage expenses, investments, and future goals effectively.

Income Sources and Stability
Salary – Rs. 1.15 lakh per month

This is your primary source of income.
It provides stability and helps with regular expenses.
Pension – Rs. 1.15 lakh per month (reducing to Rs. 90,000 after 10 years)

This is a strong financial support.
Future reduction needs to be considered in planning.
Rental Income – Rs. 14,000 per month

This adds to cash flow.
It helps with loan repayment or investment.
Total Monthly Income – Rs. 2.44 lakh (reducing to Rs. 2.19 lakh in 10 years)

This is a good financial position.
A structured approach is required for long-term financial stability.
Home Loan Repayment
Current EMI – Rs. 15,000 per month

The principal outstanding is Rs. 5 lakh.
The loan will be cleared in 20 months.
Should You Prepay?

Yes, if there is no prepayment penalty.
Clearing the loan early gives peace of mind.
It saves on interest costs.
Impact on Finances

Prepaying Rs. 5 lakh reduces financial burden.
Monthly expenses will reduce after the loan is cleared.
Term Insurance Decision
Premium – Rs. 1 lakh per year for 10 years

Term insurance is necessary for your daughter’s security.
Ensure the sum assured is adequate.
Is It the Right Amount?

The premium seems high.
Reassess whether a lower premium plan can provide sufficient coverage.
Living Arrangement and Rent Planning
Current Situation – Staying with Sister

This reduces expenses.
It provides emotional support.
Moving Out – Additional Rs. 25,000 Rent per Month

This will increase monthly costs.
Ensure rental expenses fit within your budget.
Alternative Approach

Consider staying for a while longer to save more.
Delay moving out until your home loan is cleared.
Investment Strategy for Rs. 40 Lakh
Debt and Fixed Income Allocation – 30-40%

Provides stability and liquidity.
Ensures emergency fund availability.
Equity Mutual Funds – 50-60%

Helps with long-term wealth creation.
Beats inflation over time.
Actively managed funds perform better than index funds.
Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) for Growth

Investing monthly ensures rupee cost averaging.
Builds a strong financial corpus over time.
Emergency Fund

Keep at least 6-12 months’ expenses in liquid assets.
Ensures financial security in case of unexpected events.
Managing Future Financial Stability
Reducing Pension in 10 Years

Plan investments to compensate for lower pension.
Build a corpus that generates passive income.
Retirement Planning

Ensure investments support post-retirement needs.
Avoid pension plans, as they often provide lower returns.
Daughter’s Education and Future

Ensure sufficient funds for higher education.
Create a separate investment plan for this goal.
Finally
Your financial position is strong, but structured planning is key. Clearing the home loan, investing wisely, and managing expenses will ensure financial stability. With a balanced investment approach, you can secure a comfortable future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7752 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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Sir, I would like to invest 70 lacs in Mutual funds. Also I would like to go for SWP on this amount for Rs 50000 per month. Please suggest a plan for investment
Ans: Your plan to invest Rs. 70 lakh in mutual funds and withdraw Rs. 50,000 per month through SWP is a smart approach. It allows for both capital appreciation and regular income. A well-structured plan will ensure financial stability and long-term wealth preservation.

Key Considerations for Your Investment
Balancing Growth and Stability
Your investment should generate long-term growth while providing stable monthly withdrawals.

Tax-Efficient Withdrawals
A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) should minimise tax impact while ensuring liquidity.

Inflation Protection
The investment should outpace inflation to maintain your purchasing power over time.

Risk Management
A mix of asset classes will provide stability during market fluctuations.

Asset Allocation Strategy
A well-diversified portfolio will help balance risk and returns.

Equity Mutual Funds – 40-50% Allocation

Ensures long-term capital growth.
Helps beat inflation over time.
Actively managed funds perform better than index funds.
Hybrid Mutual Funds – 20-30% Allocation

Provides a mix of equity and debt for balanced growth.
Ensures stability during market downturns.
Debt Mutual Funds – 20-30% Allocation

Provides steady income and capital preservation.
Reduces portfolio volatility.
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) Strategy
Start Withdrawals After One Year

Ensures long-term capital appreciation.
Avoids short-term capital gains tax.
Withdraw from Debt or Hybrid Funds First

Ensures equity portion continues to grow.
Reduces volatility risk.
Rebalance Portfolio Annually

Adjust allocations based on market conditions.
Ensure sustainability of monthly withdrawals.
Risk Management Measures
Emergency Fund

Maintain 6-12 months of expenses in liquid assets.
Avoids distress selling during market downturns.
Health Insurance

Ensure adequate coverage for medical emergencies.
Protects investment corpus from unexpected expenses.
Periodic Review

Monitor performance regularly.
Adjust allocations as needed.
Finally
Your investment approach should focus on long-term growth and financial security. A structured SWP strategy will provide stability while allowing your corpus to grow. With the right asset allocation and periodic rebalancing, you can achieve a stress-free and financially secure future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7752 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 01, 2025Hindi
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Money
I am 45 years old and plan to retire in the next five years. My financial portfolio includes shares and mutual funds worth ₹65 lakh, a provident fund of ₹30 lakh, a PPF of ₹15 lakh, and gold valued at approximately ₹30 lakh. I also own a house in a metro city and earn ₹18 lakh per annum from my salary, along with ₹70,000 per year in agricultural income. My monthly expenses are around ₹1 lakh. My wife is a homemaker, and we have a child with autism. Given these factors, is my current financial position sufficient for a secure retirement in five years, considering future expenses, inflation, and my family's long-term needs? If not, what steps should I take to strengthen my financial plan?
Ans: You are in a strong financial position. However, with a child who has autism, future expenses may be higher than usual. A structured approach will help ensure financial security for your family.

Current Financial Position
Investments in shares and mutual funds: Rs. 65 lakh
Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 30 lakh
Public Provident Fund (PPF): Rs. 15 lakh
Gold holdings: Rs. 30 lakh
House ownership: Fully owned in a metro city
Annual salary income: Rs. 18 lakh
Agricultural income: Rs. 70,000 per year
Monthly expenses: Rs. 1 lakh
Your total liquid assets (excluding real estate) amount to Rs. 1.4 crore. This corpus needs to sustain you and your family after retirement.

Key Challenges
High monthly expenses: At Rs. 1 lakh per month, you need a large retirement corpus.
Inflation impact: Expenses will increase over time, requiring a growing income stream.
Child’s long-term care: Special care and education may be lifelong commitments.
Single earning member: Your wife is a homemaker, meaning the entire financial burden is on you.
Retirement Corpus Requirement
Your current expenses are Rs. 12 lakh per year. Post-retirement, expenses will continue and grow due to inflation. Assuming an increase of 6% annually, you will need a significant corpus to sustain your family for 30+ years.

Steps to Strengthen Your Financial Plan
1. Increase Investments for the Next 5 Years
Your surplus savings should go into investments.
Invest an additional amount monthly to build a larger corpus.
A mix of safe and high-growth investments will be ideal.
2. Create a Separate Health and Emergency Fund
Medical costs rise with age.
Allocate Rs. 25-30 lakh for medical emergencies.
Ensure adequate health insurance coverage for yourself, your wife, and your child.
3. Ensure a Dedicated Fund for Your Child’s Future
Set aside a separate corpus for your child's lifelong care.
A mix of fixed-income instruments and mutual funds will work best.
Consider setting up a trust or legal arrangement for long-term financial security.
4. Reduce Gold Holdings and Shift to More Liquid Investments
Gold is not an income-generating asset.
Convert some gold into investments that generate steady returns.
Use this amount to strengthen your retirement corpus.
5. Plan for a Reliable Passive Income Post-Retirement
Your portfolio should generate at least Rs. 1.2-1.5 lakh per month post-retirement.
Fixed-income investments should cover a large portion of your monthly expenses.
Dividend-paying funds and debt instruments will help balance stability and growth.
6. Review and Adjust Your Portfolio Annually
Track expenses and portfolio performance.
Adjust asset allocation based on market conditions.
Reduce risk gradually as you approach retirement.
Finally
Your current financial position is strong, but you need additional investments to sustain your post-retirement life. The next five years are crucial. Focus on disciplined savings, strategic investments, and ensuring long-term care for your child. With the right approach, you can achieve a financially secure and stress-free retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7752 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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Hi ,I am 33 yr old living in Mumbai in heavy deposit of 8 lac with 6k per month rent and my in hand salary is 63000 per month ,I cannot save money as my 30 k goes to home (rent,food n all) 30k goes to credit card bill. I have PPF account of 32 k and have a SIP account but zero balance in SIP e as earlier I used to invest in there due to debt I am not able to invest anymore. I don't have mediclaim. Main reason I cannot save is my wife as a home loan of 25000 per month and she is not working currently as a housewife for which I cannot save. Kindly suggest how to overcome debt as every month I couldn't save any penny.
Ans: Your total in-hand salary is Rs. 63,000 per month.
Rs. 30,000 goes toward rent, food, and other household expenses.
Rs. 30,000 is paid toward credit card bills.
Your wife's home loan EMI is Rs. 25,000 per month.
No savings are possible due to high fixed expenses.
You have Rs. 32,000 in PPF but no active SIP.
You do not have health insurance.
Immediate Steps to Overcome Debt
1. Prioritise Debt Repayment

Stop using credit cards immediately.
Pay more than the minimum due on your credit card each month.
If possible, convert outstanding dues into an EMI to reduce interest.
Avoid taking further loans or using credit cards for daily expenses.
2. Restructure Household Budget

Reduce discretionary spending such as dining out, subscriptions, and luxury expenses.
Identify ways to cut rent or household costs.
Explore shifting to a slightly lower rental home to save a few thousand per month.
Control grocery, electricity, and entertainment expenses.
3. Increase Cash Flow

Your wife should consider part-time, freelance, or online work.
Even Rs. 15,000–20,000 per month from her side can help manage EMIs.
Sell any non-essential assets like gold, old electronics, or other valuables to clear some debt.
Building Financial Stability
1. Create an Emergency Fund

Set aside at least Rs. 10,000 monthly once debt is under control.
Keep 3–6 months of expenses in a savings account or liquid fund.
2. Restart Investments

Once debt is manageable, restart SIPs in mutual funds for long-term wealth creation.
Prioritise tax-saving options like PPF and ELSS once your financial situation improves.
3. Get Health Insurance

Buy a health insurance policy of at least Rs. 5–10 lakh for you and your wife.
This will prevent future medical emergencies from becoming financial burdens.
Final Insights
Your biggest challenge is high fixed expenses and credit card debt.
Cutting expenses and increasing household income can help reduce financial pressure.
Once debts are under control, focus on savings and investments.
Health insurance is a must to avoid unexpected medical costs.
Implementing these steps consistently will help you achieve financial stability over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7752 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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I save approx 90 thousand INR per month. Where should I invest it. I don't want to keep it saving account. This I save after monthly SIP of 30000. Please advice.
Ans: You already invest Rs 30,000 per month in SIPs.

You save Rs 90,000 per month after SIPs.

You want better returns than a savings account.

A clear investment plan will help in long-term wealth creation.

Key Factors Before Investing
Emergency Fund
Keep at least six months of expenses in liquid funds.

This ensures financial security in case of emergencies.

Short-Term Needs
Identify any expenses in the next 3 to 5 years.

Use safer instruments for short-term goals.

Long-Term Growth
Invest for wealth creation.

Balance between equity and debt based on risk appetite.

Investment Allocation for Rs 90,000 Per Month
1. Equity Mutual Funds (Rs 50,000 per month)
Invest in actively managed equity mutual funds.

Diversify across large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds.

This ensures long-term capital appreciation.

2. Debt Mutual Funds (Rs 20,000 per month)
Provides stability and diversification.

Useful for balancing equity risk.

Ideal for short-term needs.

3. Gold Investment (Rs 10,000 per month)
Gold helps in diversification.

Protects against inflation.

Invest in gold ETFs or sovereign gold bonds.

4. Fixed Income Instruments (Rs 10,000 per month)
Use PPF or fixed deposits for stability.

PPF is tax-free and offers long-term benefits.

Fixed deposits provide liquidity and security.

Additional Investment Considerations
Increase SIP Contributions
If your income increases, raise your SIPs.

This ensures long-term wealth growth.

Avoid Unnecessary Risks
Do not invest in stocks without research.

Avoid high-risk derivative trading.

Review Your Investments Regularly
Monitor your portfolio every six months.

Rebalance based on market conditions.

Final Insights
Invest based on goals and time horizon.

Equity for long-term growth, debt for stability.

Gold provides inflation protection.

A balanced approach ensures financial security.

Regular reviews improve investment efficiency.

A structured investment plan will help you grow wealth efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7752 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 01, 2025

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HELLO SIR, SOME PEOPLE TAKE LOANS AGAINST MUTUAL FUNDS AND INVEST IN THE STOCK MARKET OR AGAIN IN MUTUAL FUNDS SO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT? THANKS.
Ans: Taking a loan against mutual funds and investing in stocks or mutual funds is risky. It can amplify gains, but it also increases losses. A structured approach is necessary before considering such a move.

Understanding Loan Against Mutual Funds
A loan against mutual funds allows borrowing against existing investments.

The lender provides funds based on the fund’s value.

Interest is charged on the borrowed amount.

The loan amount depends on the type of mutual fund.

Equity funds get a lower loan amount due to volatility.

Debt funds get a higher loan amount due to stability.

Key Risks of This Strategy
Market Risk
If markets fall, the value of mutual funds decreases.

The lender may ask for additional funds.

If unable to pay, the lender may sell mutual fund units.

Interest Burden
Interest charges reduce overall returns.

If investments do not perform well, losses increase.

Returns must be higher than the loan interest to make gains.

Liquidity Issues
Mutual funds remain pledged with the lender.

In an emergency, withdrawal is not possible.

This creates financial stress.

Compounding of Losses
Borrowing to invest increases risks.

If new investments lose value, losses multiply.

Debt burden increases if market returns are negative.

Potential Benefits (Only If Used Carefully)
Can provide liquidity without selling investments.

May work if investments give higher returns than loan interest.

Useful if markets are at a strong growth phase.

Suitable for short-term liquidity needs if repayment is quick.

Alternative and Safer Approaches
Use Emergency Fund Instead of a Loan
Always keep at least six months’ expenses as an emergency fund.

This avoids unnecessary borrowing.

Avoid Borrowing for Stock Market Investments
Investing with borrowed money is risky.

A market downturn can wipe out capital.

Never invest with money that is not owned.

Increase SIP Instead of Taking a Loan
A disciplined SIP approach creates wealth.

It avoids unnecessary interest payments.

Long-term investing in equity mutual funds provides better risk-adjusted returns.

Who Should Completely Avoid This Strategy?
Investors with no stable income.

Those with existing high-interest loans.

People without an emergency fund.

Investors with low risk tolerance.

Those new to stock markets or mutual funds.

Final Insights
Borrowing against mutual funds is a high-risk strategy.

Interest costs can reduce or wipe out potential gains.

It is only suitable for short-term liquidity needs.

Safer investment approaches provide better financial stability.

Building wealth through consistent savings and investing is a better strategy.

Avoid unnecessary risks and focus on sustainable wealth creation.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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