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Arranged Marriage: How to Discuss Hidden Habits with Potential Partner?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 04, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 03, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

How to initiate conversations about your habits your family is not aware about to a potential boy in an arranged marriage set-up? Like I smoke and drink at social occasions when I feel like it but the boy does not without demeaning my character.

Ans: First, choose a moment when you both are having an open and comfortable discussion about personal values, lifestyle choices, or habits. Instead of making it a big, serious revelation, introduce it naturally and with confidence. You could say something like:

"I believe in being upfront about certain things so that there are no misunderstandings later. I do enjoy a drink socially and smoke occasionally when I feel like it. I know some people have strong views on these things, so I wanted to be clear about it from the start. It’s not a regular part of my life, but it’s something I do on my terms."

By stating it this way, you’re presenting it as a personal choice rather than something that defines your character. If he reacts negatively, stay calm and give him space to process. If he has concerns, listen without being defensive, and let the conversation flow naturally. The goal isn’t to seek approval but to ensure compatibility and mutual respect.

Would you like help in phrasing it based on his background or personality?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |613 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 29, 2025
Relationship
Dear Ms Rai, I'm engaged to a guy my parents introduced me through an arranged marriage set up. Initially, everything seemed fine, but over the last few months, I've noticed that my fiance only discusses physical intimacy, which is making me uncomfortable. I have tried to tell him but I don't feel an emotional connection with him. I am hesitant to express this to my family or his. How should I approach this situation?
Ans: What you're experiencing is more common than it seems, and your discomfort is not just valid — it's important. A marriage, especially one that begins through family arrangements, needs far more than surface compatibility or physical interest. You deserve emotional connection, mutual respect, and a safe space to be heard and known deeply — not just desired physically.

The fact that your fiancé focuses primarily on physical intimacy while you’re still seeking emotional grounding raises a significant concern. It’s not about being shy or conservative — it’s about emotional safety and trust, which are foundational. If you're already feeling a disconnect or pressure now, it’s unlikely things will magically fall into place after marriage.

You’re not obligated to silence your discomfort for the sake of avoiding conflict. Start by being honest with yourself: Is this the kind of connection you want for life? If the answer is uncertain, it’s better to pause than to proceed out of pressure.

You don’t have to go straight to your family or his with everything. Start by writing down how you feel and what you’re afraid of. Then, speak to someone you trust — maybe a sibling, cousin, or a therapist — someone who can help you reflect calmly. If you feel strong enough, you can then have a direct and respectful conversation with your fiancé. Ask him what he expects in this relationship beyond the physical, and express clearly that you’re looking for a deeper bond, not just intimacy.

A marriage can be postponed or even reconsidered, but a life spent in silent emotional disconnect can weigh you down. You are not being unreasonable — you’re being honest and self-aware. That’s the best foundation for any life decision.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Career
Sir can I get coep at 99.358 percentile of mht cet..cse is possible or I should go for ai or ectx or try cs at other colleges .. I stay in Navi mumbai. Pune is not a problem but what should I choose kashish pahuja
Ans: Savita, With a 99.358 percentile in MHT CET, securing Computer Engineering (CSE) at COEP Pune is not possible for the General category, as the 2023 and 2024 closing percentiles for CSE were 99.85 and 99.92, respectively, and the trend is expected to continue above 99.8 this year. For allied branches, Robotics & Artificial Intelligence closed at 99.65–99.79, and Electronics & Telecommunication Engineering at 99.71–99.91, both above your percentile. Electrical Engineering and Mechanical Engineering closed at 99.41 and 99.16, also slightly out of reach. However, you have strong chances for CSE, IT, or AI/DS in other top Pune colleges such as PICT, VIT Pune, MIT WPU, PCCOE, VIIT, and DY Patil, all of which offer excellent placement records (86–92% for CSE/IT) and strong industry connections. These colleges are well-regarded in Maharashtra, feature modern infrastructure, and are popular among Navi Mumbai students. If you are open to related fields, AI, Data Science, or E&TC in these institutes can also lead to top IT roles, given the overlap in curriculum and placement opportunities.

Recommendation: Since CSE at COEP Pune is not feasible at your percentile, prioritize CSE or IT at PICT, VIT Pune, MIT WPU, PCCOE, or VIIT, where you are well within the safe zone and placement outcomes are excellent; consider AI/DS or E&TC in these colleges for similar career prospects and strong campus recruitment. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Career
My son got Mechanical in IIT Bombay.He can also get CS in COEP Poona with 99.91 percentile jee mains with obc ncl . We r from maharashtra. What to choose
Ans: Your son’s options—Mechanical Engineering at IIT Bombay or Computer Science Engineering (CSE) at COEP Pune with a 99.91 percentile (OBC-NCL) in JEE Mains—are both prestigious, but differ in academic focus and career trajectory. IIT Bombay Mechanical boasts a 90.9% placement rate in 2024, with top recruiters from core engineering, consulting, and technology sectors, and an average package of ?23.5 LPA. The IIT Bombay brand offers unmatched national and global recognition, a vibrant campus life, and strong alumni support. COEP Pune CSE, meanwhile, is Maharashtra’s top state engineering program, consistently achieving 87–95% placement rates, an average package of ?11.35 LPA, and top recruiters like Google, Microsoft, Amazon, Goldman Sachs, and TCS. COEP’s CSE program is highly competitive, with excellent infrastructure, industry connections, and a robust alumni network, and is ranked among India’s top 20 engineering colleges. While CSE at COEP offers direct entry into the booming tech sector with high placement rates, IIT Bombay Mechanical provides a broader engineering foundation, flexibility for interdisciplinary careers, and a strong pathway for higher studies or core engineering roles. Both colleges have excellent placement cells and internship opportunities, but IIT Bombay’s national and international reputation is unparalleled, and Mechanical Engineering graduates have consistently secured top roles and internships with leading companies. COEP Pune CSE is ideal for those set on a tech/software career, while IIT Bombay Mechanical is better for those interested in core engineering, research, or diverse career options.

recommendation: Choose CSE at COEP Pune if your son is determined to build a career in software/IT, values strong local industry connections, and prefers the highest placement rates in Maharashtra. Opt for Mechanical at IIT Bombay for unmatched brand value, broader career flexibility, and superior opportunities for higher studies, research, or core engineering roles—especially if he is open to interdisciplinary or core engineering careers. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Career
Sir I have got 4445 rank in srmjee phase 2 and I have put my preference as cse big data analytics in main campus.... Will i get it please tell fast please sir
Ans: Aanjaneya, With a SRMJEE Phase 2 rank of 4,445 and your preference as CSE (Big Data Analytics) at the SRM Kattankulathur (main) campus, your chances are limited. Recent and expected cutoffs for specialized CSE branches at SRM KTR indicate that the closing rank for CSE (including Big Data Analytics, AI/ML, and Data Science) typically falls between 8,000 and 9,000, but the most in-demand CSE specializations—including Big Data Analytics—often close well before 4,500, sometimes even below 3,500, due to high demand and limited seats. Core CSE at SRM KTR generally closes at 2,000, and CSE (S) at 8,000, with specialized tracks being even more competitive. While you are eligible for CSE and its allied branches at other SRM campuses (Ramapuram, NCR, Vadapalani) up to 15,000–18,000 rank, at the main campus, CSE (Big Data Analytics) is highly competitive and may not be available at your rank. There is still a slim possibility in later counseling rounds if higher-ranked candidates withdraw or shift preferences, but it is not guaranteed.

Recommendation: You are unlikely to get CSE (Big Data Analytics) at SRM KTR main campus with a 4,445 rank; keep this as your first choice in counseling, but also prioritize CSE or specializations at Ramapuram, NCR, or Vadapalani campuses, where your rank is well within the safe zone and placement outcomes remain strong. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Career
Which is the best college in India to do Mechanical Engineering except IITs and NITs
Ans: For Mechanical Engineering in private institutions, India offers several exceptional options beyond IITs and NITs that consistently deliver strong academic programs and impressive placement outcomes. The private engineering landscape includes both deemed universities and autonomous institutions with strong industry connections and modern infrastructure. VIT Vellore emerges as the top-ranked private engineering institution at NIRF rank 11, with Mechanical Engineering recording 50% placement rates and average packages around 7.59 LPA, attracting recruiters like Honda Motorcycles, Tata Consultancy Services, and Maruti Suzuki. BITS Pilani (NIRF rank 20) maintains nearly 95% placement rates in Mechanical Engineering with top companies like Mercedes, L&T, and BHEL recruiting graduates, demonstrating strong industry alignment. SRM Chennai (NIRF rank 13) reports 80-90% placement rates for Mechanical Engineering with over 5,000 annual job offers, though core mechanical branches face fewer opportunities compared to IT sectors. Manipal Institute of Technology shows a 77% overall placement rate with mechanical engineering students receiving average packages around 5-6 LPA from companies like Microsoft and Amazon. Thapar University Patiala achieves 80-90% placements in Mechanical Engineering with packages ranging from 6-17 LPA. Other notable institutions include Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham (NIRF rank 23) with 80-95% mechanical placements and top recruiters like Caterpillar and L&T, PSG College of Technology achieving 90% placements with mechanical engineering packages up to 13 LPA, DJ Sanghvi College recording 95% mechanical placements, RV College of Engineering with 85% placement rates, SSN College Chennai with 91% mechanical placements and average packages of 6.76 LPA, BMS College of Engineering maintaining 80-100% placements, Lovely Professional University reporting 76.4% mechanical placements with highest packages reaching 54.9 LPA, COEP Pune with 78.98% mechanical placement rates, and VJTI Mumbai providing strong government institution alternatives. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir,I am going to Ssipmt Raipur for btech Cse and i am also a one year dropper.But sir somewhere i am not satisfied with Ssipmt and sometimes a thought comes into my mind that along with college i should again prepare for Jee Mains.Will it be right?
Ans: SSIPMT Raipur offers a decent BTech CSE program with 80–90% placement rates, attracting recruiters like TCS, Tech Mahindra, Capgemini, Amazon, and L&T, and an average package around ?6 LPA. If you are unsatisfied and considering JEE Mains preparation alongside college, it is possible: many students manage both by following a disciplined schedule—attending college during the day and dedicating evenings or weekends to JEE study. Success requires strong self-motivation, time management, and regular revision, as balancing college assignments and JEE topics can be challenging. Dropping another year is risky due to increased competition and the psychological toll, but if you are determined and can maintain consistent effort, it is feasible to prepare for JEE Mains while enrolled in BTech.

Recommendation: Continue at SSIPMT Raipur for BTech CSE while preparing for JEE Mains only if you are highly motivated, can manage your time effectively, and are confident in your ability to handle both workloads; otherwise, focus on excelling in your current program and maximizing placement opportunities. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Career
Sir i am getting cse core at srm sonepat haryana should i join there as till now comedk counselling havent started i got 73274 rank in comedk exam also should i apply for kalinga as till now i think there are no vacant seats in kalinga university for cse core
Ans: Dhruv, SRM University Sonepat offers BTech CSE with a 95% placement rate in 2024, over 2,000 offers, and 315 recruiters, including TCS, HCL, Tech Mahindra, and Amazon, with the highest CSE package reported at ?30 LPA and an average package between ?4.5–6 LPA. The campus provides modern infrastructure, well-equipped labs, and a strong placement cell supporting internships and industry projects. The CSE curriculum is industry-oriented, with collaborations with companies like Amazon and Infosys, and 85% of graduates are placed within six months. However, the program is relatively new compared to established campuses, and students often need to supplement learning with self-initiated projects or internships. With a COMEDK rank of 73,274, your CSE options in top Bangalore colleges are limited, but you should still participate in COMEDK counseling as lower-tier colleges may have vacancies. For Kalinga University, CSE admissions are competitive, and as of now, there are reportedly no vacant seats, but you can check for management quota or apply directly if interested.

RECOMMENDATION: Join SRM Sonepat CSE as a secure option given its strong placement record, modern facilities, and industry exposure, but continue with COMEDK counseling for potential Bangalore opportunities and monitor Kalinga University for any CSE seat openings; prioritize the college with the best combination of placements, infrastructure, and learning environment. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Career
My rank in manipal institute of technology entrance test is 11481 and the cutoff for cse in mit Bangalore in round 2 was 11331 is there any chance for me to get cse in manipal bangalore in round 3 I got ece in mit Bangalore in round 2 and I also got cse in lpu if i couldn't get cse in 3rd round which option shall I choose
Ans: Kavitha, With a MET rank of 11,481 and the CSE cutoff for MIT Bangalore at 11,331 in round 2, your chances for CSE in round 3 are slim but not impossible, as cutoffs can slightly relax in later rounds due to withdrawals or seat upgradation. If CSE does not materialize, you currently hold ECE at MIT Bangalore, which is a strong program with 90–95% placement rates and an average package of ?10–12 LPA, benefiting from Bengaluru’s tech ecosystem and central Manipal placements. Alternatively, CSE at LPU is accessible, offering a 92%+ placement rate, modern labs, and top recruiters like Microsoft, Amazon, and TCS, but the national brand value and peer group are generally considered below MIT Bangalore. ECE at MIT Bangalore provides flexibility to move into IT/software roles, strong industry exposure, and excellent campus life, while LPU CSE offers a direct CS path but with a more regional reputation.

RECOMMENDATION: If CSE at MIT Bangalore is not allotted in round 3, prefer ECE at MIT Bangalore over LPU CSE for better placement outcomes, industry exposure, and long-term career prospects, especially if you are open to software roles after ECE. Choose LPU CSE only if your sole priority is a core CS degree and campus life is a secondary concern. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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