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Always Fighting With Your Boyfriend? Expert Advice for a More Peaceful Relationship

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hii mam, since i year i am in relationship with him but nowadays fighting are increased in between both of us so what we should do and we both are responsible for the fight cause we both over react for small things

Ans: It’s common for fights to increase in a relationship when emotions are high and both partners overreact to small issues. This pattern often stems from unresolved emotions, stress, or a lack of effective communication. The good news is that recognizing this dynamic means you're already taking the first step toward improvement.

Start by reflecting on the triggers for your arguments. Think about what situations or topics usually lead to conflicts and whether they arise from unmet needs, miscommunications, or external stressors. Understanding the root causes can help you both address the real issues rather than reacting to the surface level.

When emotions run high, it’s easy to say or do things in the heat of the moment that you later regret. To prevent this, both of you can practice pausing during disagreements. Agree on a signal or phrase to use when things start to escalate, giving each other space to cool down before continuing the conversation. This approach allows you to respond calmly rather than reacting impulsively.

Another important step is to focus on improving how you communicate. Instead of placing blame or using accusatory language, express your feelings using "I" statements. For example, say, "I feel hurt when this happens" instead of "You always do this." This small shift can reduce defensiveness and encourage understanding.

It’s also crucial to nurture the positive aspects of your relationship. Make time for activities that you both enjoy and that bring you closer, whether it’s a shared hobby, a walk, or simply having an uninterrupted conversation. These moments of connection can help balance out the tension from disagreements.

Finally, remember that resolving conflicts takes patience and teamwork. It’s not about determining who’s right or wrong but about finding solutions that work for both of you. If you feel stuck or find that the fights are becoming overwhelming, consider seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist. A neutral third party can help you both understand your patterns and develop healthier ways to handle conflicts, ensuring the relationship grows stronger.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 11, 2023

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He always fight with me how I handle this situation
Ans: Fighting with your partner can be a difficult and stressful experience. If you're finding that you and your partner are constantly fighting, it may be helpful to take a step back and reflect on what may be causing the conflict.

First, try to identify the triggers that lead to arguments between you and your partner. Are there certain topics or situations that tend to set off disagreements? Understanding what causes conflicts can help you and your partner avoid these situations or approach them in a more productive way.

It's also important to work on communication skills. When you and your partner are in the midst of an argument, try to remain calm and listen actively to what they have to say. Avoid interrupting or talking over them, and take the time to reflect on your own feelings before responding. If the conversation becomes too heated, take a break and come back to it when both of you have had a chance to cool down.

If you find that you're unable to resolve conflicts on your own, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional relationship counselor. A trained counselor can provide you and your partner with tools and strategies for improving communication, managing conflicts, and strengthening your relationship.

Remember, building a strong and healthy relationship takes effort and commitment from both partners. By working together and focusing on effective communication, you and your partner can overcome conflicts and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 20, 2024Hindi
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Hii mam, i am Dipankar I am in a relationship. But problem is my girlfriend's parents scold her for our relationship. But another problem is that his father wants to say that he is not reading and listening and abuses him. Because of this he is very angry now how can I calm him down??
Ans: First, it’s important to create a safe space for your girlfriend to express her feelings. Encourage her to talk about her frustrations and fears regarding her parents’ reactions to your relationship. Just listening to her and validating her feelings can provide some comfort. Let her know that it’s okay to feel upset and that you’re there to support her.

You might also want to discuss strategies for addressing her parents' concerns. It can be helpful for her to communicate openly with them about her feelings and the importance of your relationship in her life. She could try to express her emotions calmly and respectfully, explaining how their reactions affect her. If she feels comfortable, suggesting a calm family discussion could also be beneficial.

In terms of her father’s anger, it’s crucial to approach him with empathy. If he’s angry and upset, he may feel a sense of loss or fear regarding his daughter’s choices. Encouraging your girlfriend to understand her father's perspective might help her communicate with him more effectively. Suggest that she acknowledge his feelings and explain why her relationship is meaningful to her.

Additionally, if the situation escalates or becomes hostile, it might be worth considering involving a neutral party, such as a trusted family member or friend, who can mediate the conversation and help calm tensions.

Ultimately, patience and understanding are key. Relationships often face challenges, especially when parents disapprove. Supporting each other through this process will strengthen your bond and help you both navigate these difficult emotions together. Remember to prioritize each other’s well-being, and take care of yourselves during this challenging time.

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Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6844 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 10, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 10, 2026Hindi
Career
Hi, I need honest career guidance based on my situation. I completed my HSC in 2024 with PCB stream (no Mathematics) and scored only 45%. I was preparing for medical entrance but it didn't work out, and due to personal reasons I couldn't appear for improvement exams either. It's now 2026 and I have a 2 year gap. I now want to pursue a career in IT or Computer Science. I'm confused between BSc IT, BSc CS, BCA, and Data Science — and keep getting mixed opinions from everyone. My specific questions are — 1. Since I don't have Maths in HSC, can I appear for the HSC Maths exam as an Isolated Candidate in July–August 2026? And if I clear it, will that result be valid for 2026–27 admissions? 2. With 45% and a 2 year gap, what are my realistic college options in Mumbai? Which good colleges have lower cutoffs for BSc IT / BSc CS / BCA? 3. Given that I'm coming from Biology with no Maths background — which degree would actually be the best fit for me for real career growth, not just for getting admission? 4. Does college name or tier matter a lot in the IT field with lower percentage, or do skills and portfolio matter more? 5. Honestly, what is the smartest move for someone in my exact situation right now? I don't want to waste more time and want to make the right decision. Please guide me."
Ans: Hey, here is the point-wise reply to your question:

(1) You can appear for the HSC Mathematics exam as an independent candidate through the Maharashtra State Board in July–August 2026, and if you pass, that Maths result will generally be accepted for admissions in 2026–27 for courses requiring Maths.

(2) With 45% and a two-year gap, gaining admission to top colleges may be difficult, but you can still try mid-/lower-cutoff colleges such as SIES College of Arts, Science and Commerce, Vivekanand Education Society's College of Arts, Science and Commerce, Tolani College of Commerce, and Guru Nanak Khalsa College, depending on seat availability, especially for BSc IT or BCA.

(3) Since you come from a Biology background without Maths, BCA is usually the easiest entry into IT (as the Maths requirements are lighter), whereas BSc CS/Data Science can be more challenging because they rely more heavily on mathematics and statistics.

(4) In the IT industry, skills, projects, internships, coding ability, and your portfolio matter far more than college ranking, although attending a better college can initially help with networking and placements.

(5) The practical pathway might be: complete HSC Maths in 2026 → apply for BCA or BSc IT at reputable Mumbai colleges → focus intensively on coding skills (Python, web development, projects) during your degree, as building real technical skills will be much more important for your career than your past percentage.

However, it is strongly advised to arrange a one-to-one session with a counsellor so they can suggest more options after discussing your profile. Do not rely solely on our advice. Take our advice as a guideline only.

Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

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