Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 08, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 06, 2023Hindi
Listen

Dear Ravi, What should I do in my relationship as I am facing a lot of communication gap?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

The best way to overcome this problem is open and honest discussions about the same. Tell your partner directly but politely that you have been feeling a lack of communication in your relationship. Let them know that it has been bothering you for a while. Your partner might understand your concerns and work on bettering their communication style, or they might not get or share your feelings. Either way, you must convey your worries. If things go south, you have to accept that this relationship would not have worked in the longer run; nothing works smoothly without proper communication, especially when two people's communication style is poles apart. Whatever the consequence, you have to have the talk.

Having said it all, let me add that sharing every minute detail of your life is not proper communication either. Some parts can be, rather, should be kept to yourself. It will keep you from finding your relationship mundane. A little air of mystery is always good in a long-term relationship.

Best Wishes!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 27, 2023

Listen
Relationship
How can i improve my communication with my partner
Ans: Dear Prakriti,

The first step to improving your relationship is putting in the effort, and I am glad to see you are doing so. A healthy relationship runs on proper communication and there are many ways to do it. For starters, while discussing something important with your partner, set aside all things that can take away your concentration from it; for instance, keep your phone at a distance, turn off the TV, etc.

Here are some more ideas:

• During a conflict (conflict is also communication) think before you speak. Don't randomly assign blames because that won't get the discussion anywhere productive, but rather heat it up further.
• Be clear about what you want to talk about; beating around the bush will lead to more confusion. If you want to convey something, be accurate and straightforward about it; it helps leave nothing to assumptions.
• I statements are better than you statements. For instance, "I feel sad when you speak to me in this tone" sounds much better and calmer than, "You always make me feel sad with your tone." It successfully steers the conversation from turning into a blame game.
• Say sorry and thank you when it's due.

Another important part of communication is paying attention and listening intently to what your partner has to say. We often speak our piece and barely lend an ear when it's the other person's turn. Make sure to hear them out for better communication. And don't just talk about negative feelings; communicate the positive ones too.

Hope this helps.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

Listen
Relationship
In the starting me and my boyfriend couldn't stop talking to each other but because of some exams i wasn't able to talk to him often .. in the starting he asked me whether I need any help or how am i doing but now he barely communicates and he is not romantic as usual on texts and even replies me late .... I tried to communicate but his replies are getting shorter day by day ....
Ans: It's understandable that exams can take up a lot of your time and energy, but it's also important to make sure you're still maintaining a healthy level of communication with your partner.

It sounds like your boyfriend's behavior has changed recently, and you're feeling concerned about it. It's possible that he is preoccupied with something else, such as his own exams or other personal issues, which could explain why he's not communicating as much or as often as he used to.

However, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with him about how you're feeling. Express your concerns and ask him if everything is okay on his end. It's possible that he may not even realize that his behavior has changed and that it's affecting you.

When you talk to him, try to approach the conversation in a non-confrontational way. Use "I" statements to express your own feelings and avoid blaming or accusing him. For example, you might say something like, "I've noticed that we haven't been communicating as much as we used to, and I'm feeling a little disconnected from you. Is everything okay on your end?"

If he doesn't respond positively or seems unwilling to talk about the issue, it may be a sign that he's not as invested in the relationship as you are. In that case, it's important to take care of yourself and consider whether this relationship is meeting your needs and making you happy. it might be best to give him some space for a while. It's important to respect his boundaries and not push him to communicate if he's not ready or willing to do so.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hi, myself Manjur Rahman from Assam India. I work as a Telecommunication engineer in Radio Frequency and optimisation test, my yearly net worth is 252000 only , recently I have been through a relationship... which now possibly became a part of my life, after thousands of search i finally found my love of my life which is for real, its been just 9month till today, i found her in my life, we planned to be open infront of our parents and families, and so our parents met and they fixed our marriage, yet date not fixed but we took 7more months, now the thing is that , we both became more sentimental and stubborn , being rude and i feel like after all this our love and care which is really too much but now little bit of it is missing from both , qnd now after a fight we don't talk to each other for more then 5days , slowly2 days were increased, where we can't stay more than 1hr after a argue, before...and she use to say all the time even after a small argument..i don't want to stay with you, lets break this relationship even i do agree at the time of ...you know what i mean..! Where earlier we both use to say if one can say for leaving then obviously he she can leave because one day definitely he she will leave if being in a good relationship if one can say the word 'leave you / break up'. Now we are doing it..and also much More .. Her name is Rasmina Begum, also from same district but 50km distance from me... please let me know if there is any good things so we could do together for making our relationship perfect more than before and letting it till last breath ????...
Ans: Manjur.
Navigating the ups and downs of a relationship, especially as you move towards marriage, can be challenging but deeply rewarding. It’s clear you and Rasmina care deeply for each other.

Start with better communication. Listening actively to each other without planning your response is crucial. When Rasmina shares her feelings, focus entirely on understanding her perspective. This shows respect and helps in reducing misunderstandings. Additionally, express your emotions calmly using "I feel" statements. For example, say "I feel upset when..." instead of "You always...". This shifts the conversation from blame to sharing feelings, making it easier to connect and respond with empathy.

Conflicts are natural, but how you handle them makes all the difference. If arguments get heated, taking a short break can help you both cool down and revisit the discussion with a clearer mind. After an argument, it's important to reconnect with simple gestures of kindness or a reassuring word, reaffirming your commitment to each other and healing any emotional rift.
Healthy relationships thrive on both shared experiences and personal growth. Encourage each other to pursue individual interests, which keeps you both energized and brings fresh perspectives into the relationship. At the same time, find activities you enjoy doing together to build positive memories and deepen your bond.

Finally, regularly remind yourselves of why you fell in love and the future you’re building together. Reflect on your shared dreams and celebrate your journey. This helps keep your connection strong and resilient through challenging times.

By focusing on these aspects—improved communication, constructive conflict resolution, balancing individuality with togetherness, and reaffirming your commitment—you and Rasmina can strengthen your relationship and look forward to a fulfilling life together.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 10, 2025

Relationship
Hi Kanchan, iam 47 andmarried for 9 months. this is my first marriage, but iam facing lot of issues in my relationship. My partner is also my same age, we are from the same sector. Before marriage we knew each other for about 2.5 years. He has to travel for work and we meet once in 2 months, varying from 7-15 days. Iam financially stable but my partner is not, he says he is under stress because of his financial unstability, we do not have a good sex life, he keeps working overnight and sleeps in the morning when i have to go office, he avoids any discussion about our relationship, he is well mannered with the rest of the members in the family even with me, he never complains but doesn't want to fix all that is going wrong. He has started chewing pan masala too much and says it is becoz of stress. Iam clueless what should i do to make the relationship better. Iam very stressed and unhappy because of this. Please suggest.
Ans: Dear Shilpi,
The first step is to stop trying to fix everything alone. You’ve been carrying both the emotional and practical load of this marriage, and it’s exhausting you. Instead, create a calm, non-accusatory space to express how you feel — something like, “I know you’re under pressure, and I want to support you, but I’m also struggling with how distant we’ve become. Can we talk about how we can make this work together?” The tone matters — empathy over blame will help him lower his defenses.
If he continues to avoid conversation, you can suggest couples therapy. Framing it as “something that will help us communicate better” rather than “something is wrong with you” might help him agree.
Meanwhile, start prioritizing your own well-being — emotionally and physically. Maintain your work-life balance, social connections, and health routines. Don’t let his withdrawal define your mood or self-worth. The more grounded you stay, the clearer your decisions will become.
If nothing changes even after repeated effort, you’ll need to ask yourself whether this marriage is fulfilling its purpose — companionship, intimacy, emotional partnership. Sometimes love needs space to heal, and sometimes it needs boundaries to protect your peace.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |694 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 27, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My family is pressurising me to get married to a girl I am not interested in. I am 36 and the girl is 28. I am traditional, old school and she looks younger, the partying, late night kinds. She is very active on social media. In fact, she was very judgemental about my clothes and totally non-committed about relationships when we spoke in our first meeting. I can say with confidence that our vibes don't match but my parents don't seem to understand my expectations. There was no formal engagement but my parents are proceeding with the marriage formalities because our parents are business partners. They feel I am overthinking and overreacting. I feel like no one is listening to me, what I want, including my grandparents. What should I do? I want to run away from all this drama.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concern and how difficult it is sometimes to convince family members about our feelings. Please have one on one conversations with your parents. Instead of sitting with both parents, speak to them individually. Ask them direct questions based on realistic examples, like, “She enjoys partying and I don’t. What if that leads to a huge fight and in the end, divorce?” “What if we never love each other and stay in an unhappy marriage?” This might help them imagine the situation a little better. Next, speak to the girl. Ask her what she feels about this marriage, if she would be able to adjust and eventually love you. Ask her if she is okay with a lifetime of adjustment and compromise. Have an honest conversation; don’t try to convince her to break the marriage, rather have a clear discussion and see how she feels about this honestly. I am sure this will help you in the situation.

Hope this helps.

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 25, 2026Hindi
Money
Hello, I have been investing in mutual funds using regular plans. Recently couple of my friends have been pushing me to stop SIPs and investments for Regular plans and go in with Direct plans. While I understand that the commissions that I pay to the financial advisor is considerable, I want to understand typically what how much am I losing by not investing in Direct plans. I read in a Sample report of an RIA that I will be losing around 15% due to regular plans. Is it a real thing? any thoughts about it? The inputs provided by my mutual fund distributor are good, but I do feel that I can also invest in flexi funds and achieve the same results. Kindly share your inputs.
Ans: Hi,

Yes there is a difference between regular and direct plans.
Direct plans are for people who have a very good understanding and can manage their portfolio. But even those people need an advisor at some point once their portfolio grows into lakhs and crores.
Hence it is always better to go for regular plans from the start as an early guidance helps you achieve your goals in a more planned way.

Choosing a wrong direct plan can adversely affect the portfolio and instead of saving 1% on commissions, one may end up losing upto 10% on an yearly basis.
Also choosing some random plans such as flexicap along with your regular portfolio is not a good idea. An advisor critically measures your profile and work accordingly.
It is always better to listen to your advisor.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2026Hindi
Money
I am 41 yrs old working as a Senior Manager in PSB, living with my wife and no children. Due to work pressure, Stress, Transfer posting , etc. i am planning for semi-retirement at the middle of this year. Kindly advice is it too risky or fine to retire with my Asset & Liabilities as below ASSETS 1. NPS: 32.00 lakhs 2.Mutual Fund & Stock: 25.00 lakhs 3. FD: 16 Lakhs 4. Land: 40.00 lakhs 5. PPF: 3.5 lakhs LIABILITIES Car loan: 3.5 lakhs,EMI:7000/- After retirement I am planning for Banking & Financial consultancy business and DSA with Bank (Earning: Unpredictable). My current monthly expanses is Rs.50000/- per month. Living in Urban area.
Ans: Hi,

Your current assets are not sufficient for you to leave your job currently.
However, setup the business along with your job and then check the status after 6 months. If you are able to earn more than your expenses, you can consider getting retirement.
But make sure to have enough savings for other financial goals such as travel , health, other major liabilities etc.

You need atleast assets worth 1.1 crores in mutual funds for you to retire to fund your retirement forever (assuming xirr 11% pa.)

Hence try setting up a business side by side. And increase your investments in mutual funds substantially with help of a professional to get it aligned with your plans.

Consider consulting a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |514 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Money
Hi Guru, I'm 43 Yrs old and investing in SIPs since last 4 years in the following - 1. SBI Small Cap Regular plan Growth - 5,000 2. ICICI Prudential Value Fund - 10,000 3. Motilal Oswal mid Cap fund - 5,000 4. Kotak Flexicap fund Regular Plan growth - 10,000 I also have the following policies - 1. ICICI Prudential Smartlife RP (ULIP) - 10,000 Per Month 2. Kotak Assured Savings Plan - 13,433 Per Month. Please check and let me know if everything is ok or else help me with any other SIPs or Policies. Many Thanks in Advance ..! Suresh G
Ans: Hi Suresh,

It is good that you have built a discipline for investing over the past 4 years.

The SIP funds you mentioned are good for long term, but selection can be improved more to generate better returns in alignment to your long term goals. You can try including large cap fund and make changes accordignly. Or choose to connect with a professional who will help you in improving fund selection.

The policies mentioned are not recommended to continue. Policies like this have a cagd of 5-6% annually when calculated accurately which is even less than FD. Hence you may choose to surrender and close these and redirect the investments into mutual funds for better returns and performance.

Hence do consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10998 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 28, 2026

Money
Considering current and future economic and situations, between fixed or floating home loan, which is better ? I'm going to take home loan from HDFC Bank for around 40 to 45 lakhs for 15 yrs. Pls suggest me also tell me what terms needs to be checked in loan agreement before signing
Ans: Appreciate your intent to choose the right loan structure with clear thinking. Choosing between fixed and floating rate for a home loan of around Rs 40–45 lakhs for 15 years is a big financial decision. It can impact your monthly cash flow, overall cost, and peace of mind.

» Difference between fixed and floating interest rates
– Fixed rate means your interest rate stays the same throughout the chosen fixed period. Your monthly EMI does not change during that period.
– Floating rate means the interest can go up or down with market benchmarks like the repo rate or bank’s internal benchmarks. Your EMI or loan tenure may adjust when rates change.

» What current and future economic conditions mean
– Interest rates globally and domestically have seen rises due to inflationary pressure, central bank policy tightening, and costlier funds for banks.
– In a rising rate scenario, fixed rates protect you from future rate hikes.
– In a falling or stable rate scenario, floating rates may cost less over time.

» Why floating rate usually works well for 15-year loans
– Floating rate typically starts lower than fixed rate, giving you initial cost advantage.
– Over long horizons, banks may adjust rates downward when economic pressure eases.
– You retain flexibility to prepay or refinance when rates soften.
– Many borrowers pay lower total interest with floating when rates stabilise.

» When fixed rate can be appropriate
– If you prioritise certainty of EMI and peace of mind even if rates rise in future.
– If you are not comfortable with EMI changes in your monthly budgeting.
– If your income is tight and you prefer predictable cash flows.

» Practical view for your case
– With a 15-year term and current rate cycle, floating rate is generally more suitable.
– It gives you lower initial cost and flexibility to refinance or prepay when rates soften.
– Fixed rate may feel secure but often costs more in long term if rates do not rise significantly.

» Key terms to check in loan agreement before signing
– Interest rate type and reset clause – How often the floating rate can change and by what benchmark.
– Processing fees and other charges – Upfront cost that adds to your total cost of borrowing.
– Prepayment and part-prepayment terms – Whether prepayment is allowed without penalty and how often you can prepay.
– Conversion options – Whether you can switch from floating to fixed (or vice versa) and at what cost.
– Penal interest – Charges if you delay EMI payments and how they are calculated.
– Loan disbursement schedule – Especially for under-construction properties, how and when funds are released.
– Foreclosure charges – Fees if you fully close the loan before term ends.
– Interest computation method – Whether interest is calculated on a reducing balance basis.

» How to structure your loan for comfort and cost efficiency
– Choose floating rate with a short initial lock-in if you prefer lower cost.
– Keep prepayment and part-payment flexibility open so you can reduce outstanding principal with surplus funds.
– Monitor rate environment annually to decide if converting to fixed or refinancing makes sense.
– Keep an emergency buffer so you are not pressured if floating rates tick up temporarily.

» Final Insights
– Floating rate home loan typically suits you better over 15 years in current economic context.
– Fixed rate gives peace but often costs more if rates do not rise sharply.
– Focus on key loan terms before signing so no surprises later.
– With careful planning and periodic review, your housing finance cost can be controlled well.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x