Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |79 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Oct 08, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 06, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Hello ma'am, I am 29 year old married for just 2 years with 1 year old baby. My husband's mother controls everything in house and humiliates me daily. My husband never supports me and always takes his mother's side. I came from love marriage and now regret my decision. Should I divorce with small baby or adjust for few more years? My parents say come back home but I am confused about baby's future.

Ans: Hello mam..I understand your situation. Generally these of issues come in every marriage, but in love marriages they come little more coz family thinks that they have not choosen you and they dont accept you easily.
I would suggest you that don't complain about your mother in law to your husband. Don't about any family matter for some days. Just talk about yourself and your baby that too positively. Things will take time but they will start changing. Try to ignore the negative things of your mother in law and start concentrating on yourself and your baby. You can try meditation also. Things will soon change.
Take care
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I got married in Jan 2019 and it was an arranged marriage. Before marriage my husband loved me and we used to meet often and go out. But after marriage i got to know that his parents are extremely controlling and strict, they brainwashed him. A week into marriage we started fighting, and since then it's been a see-saw of love and hate. Soon we found out that he is impotent, but I helped him get over it, be it doctor's appointments or medicine, I took care of everything, it took us a year but we finally consummated our marriage. Then due to covid we moved to my in-laws’ house at his request. And then this marriage became hell to me, my in-laws started verbally abusing me every day though my husband tried to protect me but failed. I thought after the baby they would stop but it got worse so I took my 1-month-old baby and moved into my parents’ house. My husband came and begged me to not leave him, he said we'll move out to our own place. I agreed but then he called and told me that we'll go to another city after a year and I should stay with my mother till that time. BTW I am taking care of the baby all on my own financially, he won't do it unless I start living with him. I am financially independent. I don't know whether I should leave him or not, help?
Ans:

Dear S,

Time this one out! Which means, drop a deadline by having a conversation with your husband as to when your family will finally have a chance to function independently from in-laws or any other external circumstances.

Dropping deadlines means, both of you will be under the pump to put down a plan as to what needs to be done to clear out the existing muck and how beautifully you will create a loving environment for your baby to grow.

Not taking care of the baby or you, is not an option for him; but I guess it has become a convenient arrangement for him as you live with your parents and he does not need to take care of the fights and expenses as well.

This could only mean he is escaping reality and finding peace in avoiding it. Put him in the face of reality and that goes for you as well.

Being too accommodative can also become a habit where you rely on the comfort of what it brings to you; in this case the comfort at your parents' home.

For the sake of the baby, work together as a team and create a beautiful relationship; which will help the baby grow healthy, physically and emotionally.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 21, 2021

Listen
Relationship
In every woman's life mother-in-law is the villain. Similar situation happened in my life just 3 months back. But here in my case I waited till 5 years and I have given a child to my husband. But there is no change in the situation. Rather it became critical in such a way that my husband started harassing me physically, mentally. Now, he is asking for mutual divorce. I need suggestion from you how you handled the situation.
Ans: Dear S, how have you come to the conclusion that the mother-in-law is the villain in every woman’s life?

Have you checked with every woman or is this statement based on your experience and of a few others around you?

Making generalised statements like these, can play the villain in infusing more unwanted thoughts and situations in your life more that the people involved in it.

When you say, ‘I gave a child to my husband,’ does it mean that you were not ready to be a mother then?

I am sure you had a choice to say NO if you were not ready.

When we begin to play ‘victim’, it is easy to keep pulling instances that prove how unfairly we have been treated and play that over and over again till it feels absolutely true.

Instead, why don’t you list the problem accurately?

Assuming right now (as I don’t have much details from you), that you have been treated unfairly and that your husband has harassed you mentally and physically, if divorce is what he wants, do you also feel the same?

If you want to save your marriage, then look for a family therapist who can definitely help with that. But if you feel that you have reached the end of the runway and can’t take it anymore, maybe a mutual consent divorce maybe a better option.

Whatever that the two of you decide, remember that there is a child who is part of this entire situation and needs love and reassurance from both parents that he/she will still get a loving home to grow up in.

Most often couples who argue forget the repercussions that this has on a child and the egos get the better of them.

Whatever you do, there is ‘NO OTHER’ that can come into a marriage, no mother-in-law or anyone else.

Bringing anyone in complicates the marriage and any decision taken because of their treatment towards you cannot contribute to a failure in your marriage.

So choose wisely and take wise steps to do what’s best for your marriage, life and your child.

All the best for a clear mind and a great life!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |656 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 05, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I had married a person who has an affair with the girl but before marriage he never told me about it .When I was 7 th month pregnancy I got to know about it but I support him and forgot all the things .After birth of my baby boy My mother in law's nature change suddenly.She used to torcher me , fighting with me .Even she called my parents 2 to 3 times come and take your girl.My husband supports her mother.6 months back she throw me out of the house with my baby .I am at my parents place.No one call me to ask for baby and provide financial support even .What should I do.Should I apply for maintenance for me and my baby.
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing. It's a difficult situation, but you have rights and options available to you.

Given the circumstances, seeking maintenance for both you and your baby seems like a reasonable step to ensure your financial stability and that of your child. You can consult with a lawyer who specializes in family law to understand the legal options available to you and to guide you through the process of applying for maintenance.

Additionally, it's important to consider your emotional well-being during this time. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can provide comfort and assistance. Seeking counseling or therapy can also be beneficial in processing the emotions and stress associated with your situation.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and you have the right to take steps to protect yourself and your child. Don't hesitate to reach out for help and support as you navigate through this difficult time.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1769 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I have been married for 7 months. I stayed with my husband for 4 months. I have a decent relationship with him. But my mother in law doesn't like me at all. She finds faults and mistakes in everything that I do. I don't get any support from my husband when my mother in law criticises me or uses harsh words. She insults my parents. My husband tries to justify her behaviour when I try to discuss these issues with him. He misunderstands me and doesn't want to listen to me whenever his mother creates issues. He doesn't listen to anyone and he doesn't care about anyone apart from his mother when his mother creates problems. I work for 10 hours at office and take care of him and the household chores. He forgets all my positive sides and highlights my mistakes rudely whenever his mother comes into the picture. I don't find any solution to this. My last solution is filing for a divorce. I want to try to give my best for this relationship. But that is somehow taking a toll on my mental and physical health.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have good respite from all of this while you are at office, right? And then there's the commute to work? Then there's sleep?
So, I guess your interactions with her maybe 2 hours?
For her, she's given up her son; many mothers find it hard cutting the cord from their children and in this case, your husband also has not learned to develop a personality off of her and hence putting him in between the two of you is only going to cause you more stress and invariably he will side with her; he's still getting used to another woman in his life, YOU...Don't test his love for you and compare it with his mother. It will drive him away from you.

Give this all sometime BUT DO NOT get him caught in the middle of all this. Teaching your mother-in-law to behave in a certain way maybe a huge task BUT for you to work around it without letting it bother you is what you must focus on. Possible? YES...Smart relationships are ones like these where you don't go around expecting change in the other person BUT you figure how you can work around and find your peace.
So, since you are going to be around her only for a few hours, start by simply agreeing to what she says. Initially it will be hard, but it will throw her off guard as when she sees that you are not provoked, there will come a time, when she will back off.
Her fault finding is only to prove that she is better than you and that you can't replace her in her son's life. Give her that pleasure by simply nodding your head knowing that it's not your fault. You will see a change in a few days.

The best way to bring people's guard down is to agree to what they say BUT do what you need to. It's just been a couple of months, give it sometime...things settle...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, Im from Bangalore, I work in IT My monthly in hand salary post deductions 1.09L, Ive a kid who is 3 years old and my wife is home maker. I would like to known if my apporach of savings/investements to be changed little bit to maximize savings and accumulate amount for my kid higher education and house purchasing. My monthly expenses and savings as below Rent: 12k House hold exp:15k My savings: SIP Mutual funds: im doing it both on my name as well as my wife name, On My name: monthly 14k( accumulated so far 3.18L) On My wife name: Monthly 6k( Accumualated sonfar 68k) Ive stocks investments of about 2.30lakhs I do RD of 20k Ive cheeti every month 20k( will be completed in 2 months and i get 4 lakhs) Sukanya samridhi yogana: 3.5k( so far accumulated 75k) Ive emergency fund of 3lakhs And everymonth I save 8k in liquid fund for my child school fees i use this accumulated amount for every next year school fees 4k every month savings for LIC Jeevan labh 936 And 6k in gold and 2k in silver I know gold and silver are voltalie considering recent returns im doing SIP of 8k both gold and silver. Ive term insurance for 1cr Health insurance company sponsored 10lakhs. My goal is to buy a house in 2 years atleast to make down payment of 15l and rest to go for loan And my child higher education after 12th to save how do i plan my investements and I wanted to make sure to continue the SIP which im doing now.
Ans: Your financial discipline is very impressive. With a monthly income of Rs 1.09 lakh, you have already built a strong system of savings. Supporting a family with a young child while still investing regularly shows very good financial maturity.

Let us review and fine tune your structure so your goals become easier to achieve.

» Understanding Your Current Financial Structure

Your current monthly pattern roughly shows:

– Household expenses around Rs 27k
– Mutual fund SIP around Rs 20k
– Recurring deposit Rs 20k
– Chit fund Rs 20k (ending soon)
– Gold and silver SIP Rs 8k
– LIC premium Rs 4k
– Sukanya Samriddhi Rs 3.5k
– School fee saving Rs 8k

You are saving a very healthy portion of your income. This is a very strong foundation.

But your money is spread across too many instruments.

Simplifying your structure will improve growth.

» Emergency Fund Review

You already have Rs 3 lakhs emergency fund.

This is a good cushion.

– Maintain this in safe liquid instruments
– Do not use it for investments or house purchase
– This protects your family during job or health uncertainty

This part is already well managed.

» House Down Payment Goal (Next 2 Years)

You want to arrange Rs 15 lakhs in 2 years.

Equity mutual funds are not suitable for such a short goal because market volatility can disturb the amount.

So the correct approach is:

– Use the Rs 4 lakh chit amount when received
– Continue the recurring deposit
– Add part of monthly savings into safe short-term instruments

This will help you accumulate the down payment safely.

Avoid depending on stock market returns for a 2-year goal.

» Child Higher Education Planning

Your child is 3 years old. You still have 14 to 15 years.

This is a very good long-term horizon.

Your mutual fund SIP strategy is correct.

Continue investing in actively managed diversified equity funds.

Benefits of actively managed funds:

– Professional fund managers select strong companies
– Portfolio can adjust during market changes
– Aim to generate higher return than the market

For long goals like education, equity funds are powerful due to compounding.

Continue SIPs in both your name and your wife's name.

Gradually increase SIP whenever your salary increases.

» Review of Gold and Silver Investments

You are currently investing Rs 8k monthly in gold and silver.

Precious metals are useful for diversification but they should not dominate the portfolio.

– Keep allocation around 5% to 10% of total investments
– Do not increase beyond this level

Too much allocation in metals can reduce long-term wealth creation.

Gradually redirect part of this amount to equity funds.

» LIC Policy Review

You mentioned a policy with premium around Rs 4k per month.

Many investment-cum-insurance policies give limited return compared to mutual funds.

If this policy is mainly for investment purpose and not protection:

– Review surrender value
– Consider stopping and redirecting future money to mutual funds

Pure term insurance already protects your family.

Your Rs 1 crore term cover is a good decision.

» Health Insurance Planning

Currently you have company health cover of Rs 10 lakhs.

This is good but it is linked to your job.

So consider an additional personal family health insurance.

This ensures protection even if you change jobs.

Medical inflation in India is rising quickly.

» Managing Too Many Investment Buckets

Right now you have:

– Mutual funds
– Stocks
– RD
– Chit fund
– Gold and silver
– LIC
– Sukanya Samriddhi

Too many small buckets reduce clarity.

A simpler structure is better:

– Equity mutual funds for long-term goals
– Debt instruments for short-term goals
– Small allocation to gold

Simplicity improves tracking and discipline.

» Tax Awareness

When you redeem equity mutual funds for long-term goals:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Short term gains taxed at 20%

Planning withdrawals properly helps reduce tax burden.

» Finally

You are already doing many things right.

Small improvements can make your financial life even stronger.

Focus on these actions:

– Continue mutual fund SIPs for long-term goals
– Use RD and chit amount for house down payment
– Reduce excess allocation to gold and silver
– Review LIC policy usefulness
– Add personal health insurance cover
– Increase SIP every year with salary growth

With this disciplined structure, you can comfortably achieve your child's education goal and build financial stability for your family.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6832 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2026Hindi
Career
The NEET is 2 months away. I have completed my syllabus but was sick for 1.5 months now. I am getting 348 marks. I feel like I have forgotten everything. How can I score 650+?
Ans: You still have about 8 weeks, which is enough time to make a big jump if you focus on revision + question practice. First, don’t panic about “forgetting everything”; after illness, it’s normal for recall to feel weak, but concepts usually come back quickly with practice. Start by revising Biology daily (2–3 chapters/day) because it gives the fastest score increase. For Physics and Chemistry, revise formulas, key reactions, and then solve topic-wise MCQs the same day to rebuild recall. Take a Full Mock Test every 3–4 days, analyze mistakes carefully, and make a small “error notebook” so you don’t repeat them. Try to solve 120–150 questions daily and spend more time on Biology accuracy, since it’s the easiest way to push your score up quickly. Also, maintain sleep, light exercise, and proper meals so your energy fully returns after being sick. If you stay consistent with revision, mocks, and error analysis for the next two months, jumping from 350 to 600+ is realistic, and 650+ becomes possible with high accuracy.

Practical Advice: You can improve your score from 350 to 650 with thorough study and practice. Saying recall is very easy, but it will only be effective if it was well understood in the past. It is better to choose chapters from PCB where you feel more confident and focus on questions from these chapters in the NEET Exam.
For 650+: You Score like- BIO > 300, PHY > 150, CHE > 200.


Good luck.
Follow me if you receive this reply.
Radheshyam

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11056 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Money
How and where to check the change in benchmark index of a mutual fund from the date of investment.
Ans: It is good that you want to track the benchmark change of your mutual fund. Monitoring this helps you understand whether the fund performance comparison is fair and transparent.

» Why Benchmark Change Matters

– Every mutual fund is compared with a benchmark index
– The benchmark helps you judge if the fund manager is doing better than the market
– If the benchmark changes, past performance comparison may look different

So it is important to know when the benchmark was changed.

» Where to Check Benchmark Changes

You can verify benchmark changes through the following places:

– Mutual fund scheme factsheet

Fund houses publish monthly factsheets

It mentions the current benchmark and sometimes the previous benchmark

– Scheme Information Document (SID)

The SID explains the benchmark used by the fund

When the benchmark changes, the document gets updated

– Addendum or notice issued by the fund house

When a benchmark is changed, the fund house releases an official notice

This is usually available on the AMC website under “Notices” or “Updates”

– Your account statement or email communication

Fund houses normally inform investors through email when such changes happen

» Platforms That Show Benchmark History

You may also check on investment tracking platforms such as:

– Mutual fund research portals
– Registrar websites where your folio is maintained
– Portfolio tracking platforms

These sometimes mention historical benchmark details.

» Practical Tip for Investors

While tracking benchmark change, also observe:

– Whether the new benchmark is more appropriate for the fund category
– Whether the fund is consistently beating the benchmark
– Whether the fund strategy has changed along with the benchmark

If benchmark keeps changing frequently, it deserves closer review.

» Finally

The best place to confirm benchmark change from the exact date is the official communication from the fund house such as SID updates, addendum notices, and monthly factsheets. Keeping these records helps you track whether your fund is truly creating value over time.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2555 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Reetika

Reetika Sharma  |593 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Mar 06, 2026

Money
I am doing SIP for following mutual funds, should I adjust my SIP amount between these funds or start investing into new funds also (Small cap or Metal ETFs or others) to get better future returns with some stability. SIP % amount mentioned with each fund, total SIP amount is Rs. 29000 per month. I wish to increase it to Rs. 40000 per month. I have take little risk and looking for 7-10 year horizon. started investing since last 1 year. I am into late 40s. I efficiently use PPF/NPS/SSY for family members. Is it worth to start Vatsalya NPS as well? SBI Equity Hybrid Fund (14%), ICICI Prudential Equity & Debt Fund (14%), Parag Parikh Flexi Cap Fund (17%), HDFC Mid Cap Fund (28%), ICICI Prudential Large Cap Fund (28%)
Ans: Hi SP,

Let us go through the details one at a time.

- You are investing in PPF, NPS n SSY for family. This is good with risk free returns. Continue doing the same.
- No requirement for NPS Vatsalaya for long term.
- You are doing good and your portfolio looks quite balanced considering the amount and % mentioned. You have a good blend of equity and hybrid funds for stability.
- However can consider adding small cap as well for the long term horizon of 10 years. Start a new SIP of 4000 in Axis Small Cap.
- Increase contribution to flexicap fund and SBI Equity Hybrid fund.
- Avoid investing in sectoral funds like metal sectors as these are cyclic performers and not required for your time period.

Overall it looks good but yet you may consider consulting a professional for long term goals and aligning your investments with your goals.
Hence can consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile. A CFP periodically reviews your portfolio and suggest any amendments to be made, if required.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x