Dating an older woman: Seeking advice for convincing strict parents?

Ans: It can be challenging when families do not approve of a relationship due to age differences or other factors. However, it's important to remember that ultimately, the decision to enter into a relationship and get married is a personal one that should be based on the feelings and desires of the two people involved.

It's important to continue to communicate openly and honestly with your girlfriend and her parents about your feelings and intentions. Try to listen to their concerns and address them in a respectful and thoughtful way. It may also be helpful to enlist the support of a neutral third party, such as a family counselor or mediator, who can help facilitate a productive conversation between you and your girlfriend's parents.

However, it's also important to recognize that ultimately, you cannot control the decisions of others. If your girlfriend's parents continue to disapprove of the relationship, it may be necessary to consider whether the relationship is sustainable in the long term. It's important to consider not only your feelings for each other, but also the practical realities of your situation and whether you can build a fulfilling and happy life together despite any external challenges.

Ultimately, it's up to you and your girlfriend to decide what is best for your relationship and your future. It may be helpful to continue to work on building a strong foundation of trust, communication, and mutual support, regardless of the outcome with her parents.

Ans: Take stand for yourself. If you think he is the right guy, don't let anyone stop you.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is a huge task to convince parents on inter-caste marriages especially when you belong to a traditional and orthodox family.
What you might want to do"
- highlight your partner's ability to be integrated with your family (Your partner must be willing to put in this hard work; similarly you need to do it with his/her family as well)
- arrange a meeting in a public place between your partner and parents (Let both sides have a conversation on all the Ifs and Buts)

At the end of the day, it's two people wanting to spend their lives together BUT families do play an huge role. So be patient and go at this with the support of your partner. Be on the same side and DO NOT quarrel because of this. You will only be making this more difficult on yourselves. Stick together and solve it together; that's the only way this can work out itself smoothly...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Ankit,

I am sorry you are in this situation. I understand how challenging familial expectations can be. Here are some things you can try to convince your wishes- First off, try to communicate your feelings; if horoscopes do not matter to you, you should be able to directly convey that to your parents. Yes, being respectful and fulfilling your parent's wishes are of utmost importance but so is standing your ground when you are not in the wrong. When you express your feelings for your girlfriend, highlight the positives. Let it get etched in their mind and every time they think of her, they associate her with the positives you mentioned earlier. Mention her values, qualities, compatibility with her, how happy she makes you, and everything that is far more important than matching horoscopes. Ask a close family member to mediate. A third party's perspective can change their mind.

Here's the most important thing- patience. Deep-rooted beliefs and customs aren't easy to change. It will take time and a considerable amount of effort from both of you. Sometimes, repeated conversations can gradually shift their perspective.

Best Wishes!

Ans: When you next speak with your parents, choose a calm and private setting. Start the conversation by expressing your love and respect for them, acknowledging their concerns, and stating your commitment to understanding their perspective. Share your genuine feelings about your partner and the relationship, emphasizing the mutual respect, love, and career aspirations you both share.

Highlight the positive attributes of your partner, focusing on his education, values, and how he complements you. Address specific concerns your parents have raised, providing clear and respectful counterpoints to any false accusations or misunderstandings. If possible, arrange for them to meet him or speak with his parents, as this might help bridge cultural and regional gaps.

It’s important to be patient and give your parents time to process the information. They might need multiple conversations to come to terms with your decision. Lastly, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a trusted family friend or relative, who can mediate and provide a balanced perspective.

Your goal is to maintain a respectful and open dialogue, showing empathy towards their concerns while standing firm in your decision. This balanced approach can help gradually shift their perspective and foster acceptance.