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Should I Leave My Parents To Save My Marriage?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 30, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I got married in 2020 and presently me and my wife are living with my parents. Before marriage, I had made myself clear before marriage that we would be living with my parents after marriage. I am very attached with my parents and feel a sense of responsibility of giving back to them. My married life has not been smooth. My wife does not get along with my parents pretty well. Lately, she has been insisting on living separately from my parents as living with them infringes her personal space. Further, the house is too small for her, especially after we were blessed with a baby boy. Now, she even asks for divorce as I have been adamant on not making my parents. I can see her struggling getting along and it hurts me. She also had not anticipated that she would not be able to adjust. But I personally feel that it is our responsibility as a family to take over and take care of the family rather than break it. My parents work tirelessly take care of household chores, our son and my ailing grandfather. My wife doesn't understand this. She says that we have caretaker, domestic help so there is not much work. I admit that there is parental interference sometimes but seems manageable. I am very troubled and end up getting depressed a lot. Sometimes i feel like ending everything and curse God to put me in such a situation. Kindly help.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Not everything goes as per plan and not everything that was agreed upon can be followed...as situations change, people change to adapt to that situation. There's something that does not agree between your parents and your wife.
Now, if you insist that either side put up with the other, it is unreasonable to expect them to follow what you say. They are all people with their own set of emotions and will react when triggered by the other side.
So, yes you feel a great sense of duty and responsibility towards your parents; but at what cost? If your wife is unhappy, so will your child be unhappy and subsequently the entire household. There is a sense of duty and responsibility towards your wife and child as well so balance this act between both sides. It is possible to take care of both sides by not choosing one over the other; that is where you will be the one to get caught in the middle of all the strains and stresses.
Now whether that will happen staying separately or not is something only you can fathom with the daily on-goings at home. So, cursing God may not be a great choice BUT actually asking yourself if you are holding onto your choices too harshly that it has begun to impact you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 04, 2022

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I have been married for a little more than five years and I am living under tremendous stress and depression. We live in a joint family with my parents and an unmarried brother. I had told her all this before marriage. She loves me very much but her attitude towards my relatives has been a matter of concern right from the start. She does not want to keep a relationship with anybody apart from my immediate family. Slowly, she started having problems with my mother also; both have started having minor clashes at home. Many times, it is my mother’s mistake. The main problem is that she is very nagging and complains and gets irritated very frequently at the smallest instance. Frustrated, I planned on separating with her but the news came of her pregnancy and we were blessed with a baby girl. After the baby was born, my wife’s frustration and irritation has increased manifold because of her fear that my mother will give much more love to the baby then she can. So their clashes have increased. Now my wife has been putting a lot of pressure on me to look for a new house away from my parents, since she wants her own space. I already have a home loan on the existing home and a car loan. There is very less scope for me to purchase a new home and I don't want to leave my parents. She just doesn't understand my position and clashes happen between us. Looking at all this, I desperately want to separate from her but can't do so because of our daughter. I love her the most and can't live without her. So I just endure what is happening every day. This has resulted in me slipping into depression. It has affected my work in office as well. I am not performing well, I don't like to speak with any of my friends or relatives, I don't feel like doing anything. I’m living for the sake of my daughter, that's it. Even my parents are not in a position to understand me and my situation so I can't talk to them either. Can you help? Just don’t publish my name.
Ans:

Hi

It is unfortunate that you are in this situation.

Your wife is possibly not very inclined to be in a joint family set-up; the reasons maybe many. But isn’t it necessary for you as a husband and a father to look out for your family?

The misunderstandings caused between the two of you over the years because of being in a joint family set-up have never been addressed and much water has flowed under the bridge.

There is a slim chance that matters might get resolved if you get your mother and wife in the same room and iron it out, with you being a neutral person who does not take sides; this is the best option.

If this isn’t possible, kindly visit a family counsellor who can step in and show your family a way to live amicably or give you a perspective on how healthy it might be to live separately.

At the end of the day, you have responsibilities towards your wife and child too!

All the best and a Happy 2022.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi.I am a 35 year old married guy.Due to my Dad's health,me and my wife live with my parents.We have a 2 year old kid.The problem is my mom gets too involved with our lives,wants us to do everything that she wants and if we do not do them she gets angry and starts the usual emotional blackmail stuff .I have very politely asked her not to interfere but she still does not change. It has become extremely difficult staying with her. This has also started causing friction in my relationship with my wife. Me and my wife have our own place which is like 10 mins from my parents house. I have always thought it is better that we move back to our place but my mom is expecting that we stay with her until my dad recovers(which might take a long time). This is all causing me a lot of stress. What do i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If your own home is just 10 mins, why not actually shift out and manage things from there.
Every growing family like yours need space in terms of mind and physical space. And you do have the option of being close to your parents and caring for them as well, then why not?
Yes, your mother will emotionally blackmail and hold you to ransom, but never ever yield to it as that becomes a template for life whenever she wants something from you. So, take a wise decision, and consider that your wife needs your love, care and support for her to be able to stand by you.
Most often relationships grow and flourish maintaining a distance; being on the face all through the day and being available 24/7 does not mean that you are fulfilling your duties as a son. You can still do what you need to by engaging a nurse (if needed) and explain to your mother that you are going to be around, but just that you need to do that from your own home.
Initially, it will be met with resistance, but do the right thing. You will be successful at not only caring for your father but also forge healthier relationships between your family and your parents. Long-term thinking is necessary as well...
All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

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Hello, I am male aged 32. After divorce I recently married again and I am facing issues now. I live with my wife's parents now which was not agreed before and its fine for me. Problem is my wife always finds fault in parents even though they are in very far city. She wants me to severe all ties with my parents, family and should involve only in her family circle. My parents are uneducated and very innocent and I am feeling very guilty for abandon them. All she needs is her parents and she dint have any sympathy. What should I do now? Counselling, tasks and was not useful because whatever counselor says she takes what she needs rest she ignores (Actually counselor said, we should respect both side of family)
Ans: Dear Prashanth,
Why people change over time is something that will always remain a mystery...You can only make assumptions about it...
Please take charge and move out of her parents' house. The more you live with them, the more she seems to have an assumed upper hand in the whole situation. This illusion must be broken and the only way is to make a drastic move which is moving out. It will definitely wake her up to what has been happening...
Furthermore, if you do feel that your parents are being treated unfairly, then firmly say so...Being expressive about how you feel and assertive about what you want can alter the balances and bring some amount of perspective as well.
Bringing back harmony to salvage a relationship can mean taking strong decisions...

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 04, 2024

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I am married person since 2015. From last 2 to 3 years it is not working properly. Due to some following problems, 1. I am only one boy in my family. I don’t have any brother or sister. My father is also passed away, so there is need of child in my family because now I am at the age of 30. But my wife is not physically strong. There is always some health issue with her. 2. There is education gap too in between us. She is metric level education and I am engineer. Due to this we don’t have that much effective communication leads to conflicts in every situation. She never give respect to my mother and never do regular house works to and at the end of the day again conflicts arises between my mother and my wife. 3. I want to give divorce to her but unfortunately she is purposely not ready for that because she knows very well that she will never been happy in another house like my house. 4. Same problem when I discussed with her mother and father, they straight forward refuse to give divorce; they said, “if you have any problems or want to give divorce then go to those person who are responsible for marriage or who finalize your marriage”. Lastly, I am now at dead end and don’t know the solution of how to escape from this situation.
Ans: Dear Rajesh,
First and foremost, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, as well as that of any potential children involved. While divorce may seem like the only solution, it's also worth considering seeking professional help, such as marriage counseling or therapy, to try to address the issues in your relationship and explore potential avenues for improvement.

If communication is a significant challenge due to education and cultural differences, a therapist or counselor can help facilitate more effective communication and understanding between you and your wife. They can also provide guidance on how to navigate conflicts and differences in a constructive manner.

Additionally, it may be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a religious or community leader, to mediate discussions between you, your wife, and your respective families. They may be able to provide support and guidance in finding a resolution that is mutually acceptable and respects the well-being of all parties involved.

Ultimately, the decision to pursue divorce or to work on improving the relationship is a deeply personal one, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's important to take the time to carefully consider your options and seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals as needed.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10858 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir I have literally confused between which university to pick if not good marks in mht cet Like sit Pune or srm college or rvce or Bennett as I am planning to study here bachelors and masters in abroad so is it better to choose a government college which coep and them if I get them my home college which Kolhapur institute of technology what should I choose a good university? If yes than which
Ans: Based on my extensive research of official college websites, NIRF rankings, international recognition metrics, placement data, and masters abroad admission requirements, your choice between COEP Pune, RVCE Bangalore, SRM Chennai, Bennett University Delhi, and Kolhapur Institute of Technology (KIT) fundamentally depends on five critical institutional aspects essential for successful masters admission abroad: global research output and international collaborations, CGPA-based competitiveness (minimum 7.5-8.0 required for top international programs), faculty expertise in emerging technologies, international student exchange partnerships, and proven alumni track records at globally-ranked universities. COEP Pune ranks nationally at NIRF #90 Engineering with India Today #14 Government Category ranking, offering robust infrastructure and 11 academic departments with research centers in AI and renewable energy, though international research collaborations are moderate compared to IITs. RVCE Bangalore demonstrates strong national standing with consistent COMEDK admissions competitiveness, excellent placements averaging Rs.35 LPA with highest at Rs.92 LPA, and established international collaborations through Karnataka PGCET-based MTech programs, providing solid foundations for masters applications. SRM Chennai maintains extensive research partnerships with 100+ companies visiting campus, highest packages reaching Rs.65 LPA, and documented international research linkages through sponsored programs like Newton Bhaba funded projects, significantly strengthening masters abroad candidacy through diverse research exposure. Bennett University Delhi distinctly outperforms others in international institutional alignment, recording highest placements at Rs.137 LPA with average Rs.11.10 LPA, explicit academic collaborations with University of British Columbia Canada, Florida International University USA, University of Nebraska Omaha, University of Essex England, and King's University College Canada—these partnerships directly facilitate seamless masters transitions abroad and represent unparalleled institutional bridges to international graduate programs. KIT Kolhapur records respectable placements at Rs.41 LPA highest with average Rs.6.5 LPA, NAAC A+ accreditation, autonomous institutional status under Shivaji University, and 90%+ placement consistency across technical streams, though international research visibility and foreign university partnerships remain comparatively limited. For international masters admission success, universities globally prioritize bachelors institution reputation, minimum CGPA 7.5-8.0 (Bennett and SRM facilitate this through curriculum rigor), GRE/GATE scores (minimum 90 percentile), English proficiency (TOEFL ≥75 or IELTS ≥6.5), research output documentation, and faculty recommendation quality reflecting institution's research culture—criteria most strongly supported by Bennett's explicit international collaborations, SRM's documented research partnerships, and COEP's autonomous departmental research centers. Bennett simultaneously offers global pathway programs reducing masters abroad costs through articulation agreements and provides curriculum aligned internationally with partner institution standards, representing optimal intermediate bridge structure versus direct masters application. The cost-effectiveness and structured transition support through international partnerships, combined with demonstrated placement success and faculty research visibility, position these institutions distinctly above KIT Kolhapur for masters abroad aspirations. For your specific objective of pursuing masters abroad, prioritize Bennett University Delhi first—its explicit international university partnerships with Canadian, American, and European institutions, highest placement packages (Rs.137 LPA), and structured global pathway programs create seamless masters transitions with reduced costs. Second choice: SRM Chennai, offering extensive research collaborations, documented international linkages, and competitive placements (Rs.65 LPA highest) strengthening masters applications. Third: COEP Pune, delivering strong national standing and autonomous research infrastructure. Avoid RVCE and KIT due to limited international visibility and explicit foreign university partnerships compared to the above three institutions. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10894 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 16, 2025

Money
I have 450000 on hand, looking into my kids goingto university in 13 years
Ans: I truly appreciate your clear goal and long planning horizon.
Planning children’s education early shows care and responsibility.
Your patience of thirteen years is a strong advantage.
Having Rs. 4,50,000 ready gives a solid starting base.

» Understanding the Education Goal Clearly
University education costs rise faster than general inflation.
Professional courses usually cost much more.
Foreign education costs can rise even faster.
Thirteen years allows equity exposure with control.
Time gives scope to correct mistakes calmly.
Clarity today reduces stress later.

Education is a non-negotiable goal.
Money should be ready when needed.
Returns are important, but certainty matters more.
Risk must reduce as the goal nears.

» Time Horizon and Its Advantage
Thirteen years is a long investment window.
Long horizons help equity recover from volatility.
Short-term market noise becomes less relevant.
Compounding works better with patience.
This time allows phased asset changes.

Early years can take moderate growth risk.
Later years need capital protection.
This shift must be planned in advance.
Discipline matters more than market timing.

» Role of Rs. 4,50,000 Lump Sum
A lump sum gives immediate market participation.
It saves time compared to slow investing.
However, timing risk must be managed carefully.
Markets can be volatile in short periods.
Staggered deployment reduces regret risk.

This amount should not sit idle.
Inflation silently erodes unused money.
Cash gives comfort, but no growth.
Balanced deployment creates confidence.

» Asset Allocation Approach
Education goals need growth with safety.
Pure equity creates unnecessary stress.
Pure debt fails to beat education inflation.
A blended structure works best.

Equity provides long-term growth.
Debt gives stability and predictability.
Gold can add limited diversification.
Each asset has a specific role.

Allocation must change with time.
Static plans often fail near goals.
Dynamic rebalancing improves outcomes.

» Equity Exposure Assessment
Equity suits long-term education goals.
It handles inflation better than fixed returns.
Active management helps during market shifts.
Fund managers can adjust sector exposure.

Active strategies respond to changing economies.
They manage downside better than passive options.
They avoid blind market tracking.
Skill matters during volatile phases.

Equity volatility is emotional, not permanent.
Time reduces its impact significantly.
Regular reviews keep risks under control.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Matter
Education money cannot follow markets blindly.
Index-based investing copies market mistakes.
It cannot avoid overvalued sectors.
It lacks flexibility during crises.

Active funds can reduce exposure early.
They can increase cash when needed.
They can protect capital during downturns.
They aim for better risk-adjusted returns.

Education planning needs judgment, not automation.
Human decisions add value here.

» Debt Allocation and Stability
Debt balances equity volatility.
It provides visibility of future value.
It helps during market corrections.
It offers smoother return paths.

Debt is important as the goal nears.
It protects accumulated wealth.
It reduces last-minute shocks.
It supports planned withdrawals.

Debt returns may look modest.
But stability is its true benefit.
Peace of mind has real value.

» Role of Gold in Education Planning
Gold is not a growth asset.
It works as a hedge during stress.
It protects during global uncertainties.
It diversifies portfolio behaviour.

Gold allocation should remain limited.
Excess gold reduces long-term growth.
Its price movement is unpredictable.
Moderation is essential here.

» Phased Investment Strategy
Deploying lump sum gradually reduces timing risk.
It avoids emotional regret from market falls.
It allows participation across market levels.
This approach suits cautious planners.

Phasing also improves confidence.
Confidence helps stay invested long term.
Consistency beats perfect timing always.

» Ongoing Contributions Alongside Lump Sum
Education planning should not rely only on lump sum.
Regular investments add discipline.
They average market volatility.
They build habit-based wealth.

Future income growth can support step-ups.
Small increases matter over long periods.
Consistency outweighs size in investing.

» Risk Management Perspective
Risk is not market volatility alone.
Risk includes goal failure.
Risk includes panic withdrawals.
Risk includes poor planning.

Diversification reduces risk effectively.
Rebalancing controls excess exposure.
Regular reviews catch issues early.
Emotions need structured guardrails.

» Behavioural Discipline and Emotional Control
Markets test patience frequently.
Education goals demand calm decisions.
Fear and greed harm outcomes.
Plans fail due to emotions mostly.

Pre-decided strategies reduce mistakes.
Written plans improve commitment.
Periodic review gives reassurance.
Staying invested is crucial.

» Importance of Review and Monitoring
Thirteen years bring many changes.
Income levels may change.
Family needs may evolve.
Education preferences may shift.

Annual reviews keep plans relevant.
Asset allocation needs adjustment.
Performance must be evaluated objectively.
Corrections should be timely.

» Tax Efficiency Awareness
Tax impacts net education corpus.
Equity taxation applies during withdrawal.
Long-term gains get favourable rates.
Short-term exits cost more.

Debt taxation follows income slab rules.
Planning withdrawals reduces tax impact.
Staggered exits help manage tax burden.
Tax planning should align with goal timing.

Avoid frequent unnecessary churning.
Taxes quietly reduce returns.
Simplicity supports efficiency.

» Liquidity Planning Near Goal Year
Final three years need special care.
Market risk must reduce steadily.
Liquidity becomes priority over returns.
Funds should be easily accessible.

Avoid last-minute equity exposure.
Sudden crashes hurt planned education.
Gradual shift reduces anxiety.
Preparation avoids forced selling.

» Inflation Impact on Education Costs
Education inflation exceeds normal inflation.
Fees rise faster than salaries.
Accommodation costs also rise.
Foreign education adds currency risk.

Growth assets are essential initially.
Ignoring inflation leads to shortfall.
Planning must consider future realities.
Hope alone is not a strategy.

» Currency Risk Consideration
Overseas education includes currency exposure.
Rupee depreciation increases cost burden.
Diversification helps partially manage this.
Early planning reduces shock later.

This aspect needs periodic reassessment.
Flexibility helps adjust plans.
Preparation gives confidence.

» Emergency Fund and Education Goal
Education funds should not handle emergencies.
Separate emergency money is essential.
This avoids disturbing long-term plans.
Liquidity prevents panic selling.

Emergency planning supports education planning indirectly.
Stability improves decision quality.

» Insurance and Protection Perspective
Parent income supports education plans.
Adequate protection is important.
Unexpected events disrupt goals severely.
Risk cover ensures plan continuity.

Insurance supports planning discipline.
It protects dreams, not investments.
Coverage must match responsibilities.

» Avoiding Common Education Planning Mistakes
Starting too late increases pressure.
Taking excess equity near goal is risky.
Ignoring inflation leads to shortfall.
Reacting emotionally harms returns.

Chasing past performance disappoints.
Over-diversification reduces clarity.
Lack of review causes drift.
Simplicity works best.

» Role of Professional Guidance
Education planning needs structure.
Product selection is only one part.
Behaviour guidance adds real value.
Ongoing review ensures discipline.

A Certified Financial Planner adds perspective.
They align money with life goals.
They manage risks beyond returns.

» 360 Degree Integration
Education planning connects with retirement planning.
Cash flow planning supports investments.
Tax planning improves efficiency.
Risk planning ensures stability.

All areas must align together.
Isolated decisions create future stress.
Integrated thinking brings peace.

» Adapting to Life Changes
Career shifts may happen.
Income gaps may occur.
Expenses may increase unexpectedly.

Plans must remain flexible.
Flexibility prevents panic decisions.
Adjustments should be calm and timely.

» Final Insights
Your early start is a major strength.
Thirteen years provide meaningful flexibility.
Rs. 4,50,000 is a solid foundation.
Structured investing can multiply its value.

Balanced allocation with discipline works best.
Active management suits education goals well.
Regular review keeps risks controlled.
Emotional stability protects outcomes.

Stay patient and consistent.
Education planning rewards long-term commitment.
Clear goals reduce anxiety.
Prepared parents raise confident children.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |113 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Money
I am 44 age having son 8yrs., having Health Cover plan, I have MF 12lacs+ Investments in direct Equity MF (Large+MID+Small+Digital fund) +Post Investment 7lacs, PPF 7Lacs + PPF 5Lacs, Wife & Me both have total SIP Investments Total of Rs. 20,000 SIP and PPF 5000p.m. planning for 10-11Years, I want, child Edu 30lacs + Retirement Plan 70,000 p.m. + Health cover after 10-11 years till life age 80. Pls. Advice above plan is ok?. and Please don't share my Deatils to anyone or display any where. Thanks in advance.
Ans: You are 44 years old with an 8-year-old son and have already built a strong financial base through mutual funds, direct equity, PPF, post office schemes, and regular SIPs. Your current investments include around ?12 lakh in mutual funds, ?7 lakh in post office savings, ?12 lakh combined in PPF accounts, and ongoing SIPs of ?20,000 per month, along with ?5,000 monthly PPF contributions. You also have health insurance in place, which is a major positive.

Your key goals are funding your child’s education (?30 lakh in 10–11 years), securing retirement income of ?70,000 per month, and ensuring lifelong health coverage up to age 80. With a 10–11 year horizon, your education goal is achievable by allocating about ?15,000–?18,000 per month to equity-oriented mutual funds and gradually shifting to debt funds closer to the goal. For retirement, a corpus of roughly ?1.6–?1.8 crore is required, and your current savings put you on track, though a small increase in SIPs during income growth years will strengthen the plan. Maintain a balanced asset allocation, increase protection via a super top-up health plan later, and stay disciplined to achieve all goals.
Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Nitin

Nitin Narkhede  |113 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi, i am now 29 and i am seriously in debt trap. My salary is only 35k but i am kind of messed up in payday loans which are not offering more than 30 days. So due to which i have to repay by taking loan against a loan. In this way i could see my repayment has become 3X of my monthly salary. Please suggest me what to do. I am feeling embarassed, as my family members doesnt know this. I need help and suggestions on how to overcome this. Even if i apply for debt consolidation, everytime i am getting rejected due to high obligations. Help me to get out frob payday loans..
Ans: Dear Friends,
You are facing a payday-loan debt trap, which is stressful but solvable. The most important step is to stop taking any new loans or rollovers immediately, as they worsen the situation. List all existing loans with amounts, due dates, and penalties to regain control. Contact each lender and request hardship support such as penalty freezes, installment plans, or settlements—many lenders agree when approached honestly. If possible, close all payday loans using one safer option like a salary advance, employer loan, NBFC loan, or limited family support, as a single structured loan is better than multiple high-cost ones. Share your situation with one trusted person to reduce emotional pressure. Follow a strict short-term budget focusing only on essentials and direct any extra income toward loan closure. Avoid absconding, illegal lenders, or using credit cards for cash. With discipline and negotiation, recovery is achievable within 12–18 months. Regards, Nitin Narkhede -Founder, Prosperity Lifestyle Hub,
Free webinar https://bit.ly/PLH-Webinar

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10894 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2025Hindi
Money
Good Morning Sir, I am having a Mutual Fund portfolio of 3.7 Crores, Savings account balance in India of 10 lacs, and PPF/Sukanya Samriddhi/NPS of around 30 lacs. My savings account in UAE has about 30 lacs. I have lost my job and am currently trying to get one. We will be in the UAE till July so that my daughter can complete her school year. If I get a job by then, it will be great; but if not, will I be able to retire with these funds? Please assume that the UAE savings account will be depleted by July during relocation. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Your financial discipline over many years deserves appreciation.
You stayed invested with patience.
You built wealth across countries.
This foundation gives you real confidence now.

» Current Life Stage and Context
– You are facing temporary job loss.
– You are still financially independent.
– UAE stay continues till July.
– Relocation costs are already planned.
– This phase needs calm decisions.
– Fear is natural, but clarity matters.

» Family Responsibilities Snapshot
– You have a school-going daughter.
– Education continuity is a priority.
– Stability for the child matters emotionally.
– Your planning already reflects responsibility.
– This strengthens your overall position.

» Asset Position Review
– Mutual fund portfolio is Rs.3.7 Crores.
– Indian savings account holds Rs.10 lacs.
– Long-term savings total about Rs.30 lacs.
– UAE savings will reduce to zero.
– Home ownership lowers future expenses.
– Net worth remains strong even after relocation.

» Liquidity and Cash Comfort
– Indian savings give immediate support.
– Mutual funds provide large liquidity.
– Withdrawals can be staggered wisely.
– Forced selling is avoidable.
– This protects capital during volatility.

» Job Loss Impact Assessment
– Income disruption affects confidence.
– It does not erase financial strength.
– You have time to decide.
– Rushed retirement decisions harm outcomes.
– Temporary gaps need flexible planning.

» Can You Retire If Job Does Not Come
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– It requires expense control.
– It needs structured withdrawals.
– Lifestyle choices become important.
– Emotional readiness is equally critical.

» Early Retirement Reality Check
– Retirement at mid-forties is early.
– Corpus must last many decades.
– Inflation will work continuously.
– Growth assets cannot be abandoned.
– Balance is more important than returns.

» Role of Mutual Funds Going Forward
– Mutual funds remain core growth assets.
– Equity exposure should stay meaningful.
– Allocation should become more balanced.
– Risk control becomes more important now.
– Portfolio reviews must be regular.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Suit You
– Active funds respond to market stress.
– Fund managers adjust sector exposure.
– Valuation discipline is applied.
– Index funds fall fully with markets.
– Passive exposure increases drawdown risk.
– Active management supports smoother retirement.

» Managing Equity Volatility During Retirement
– Sudden market falls can hurt withdrawals.
– Selling equity during crashes damages corpus.
– Withdrawal planning must protect equity.
– Buffer assets reduce stress.
– This approach improves sustainability.

» Importance of Stable Assets
– Stable assets support monthly expenses.
– They reduce emotional reactions.
– They protect during market corrections.
– They fund short-term needs.
– This gives peace of mind.

» Role of Government-Backed Savings
– PPF and similar provide safety.
– Returns are predictable.
– Liquidity rules must be respected.
– These should not fund early expenses.
– They act as long-term protection.

» Expense Planning After Returning to India
– Living in owned home lowers costs.
– India expenses are lower than UAE.
– Lifestyle inflation must be avoided.
– Spending discipline extends corpus life.
– Regular tracking becomes essential.

» Education Planning for Your Daughter
– Education costs will rise steadily.
– This goal cannot face market risk alone.
– Dedicated allocation is required.
– Avoid mixing education money with retirement.
– Separate mental buckets improve clarity.

» Tax Considerations During Withdrawals
– Equity mutual fund withdrawals attract capital gains tax.
– Long-term gains above Rs.1.25 lakh are taxed.
– Short-term gains attract higher tax.
– Withdrawal sequencing reduces tax burden.
– Proper planning avoids unnecessary taxes.

» Health and Protection Planning
– Health insurance must be adequate.
– Employer cover may stop.
– Medical inflation is severe.
– Health costs can derail plans.
– Protection safeguards your corpus.

» Psychological Readiness for Retirement
– Retirement is not only financial.
– Loss of routine can disturb balance.
– Purpose keeps mind active.
– Part-time work can help.
– Engagement supports mental health.

» Semi-Retirement as a Practical Option
– Consulting reduces withdrawal pressure.
– Flexible work gives confidence.
– Income extends corpus life.
– Market volatility becomes easier to handle.
– This option offers balance.

» Time Advantage You Still Have
– You still have working years.
– One job changes everything positively.
– Corpus continues to compound.
– Do not rush permanent decisions.
– Allow time for clarity.

» Mistakes to Avoid Now
– Avoid panic selling.
– Avoid drastic asset changes.
– Avoid chasing guaranteed returns.
– Avoid emotional decisions.
– Stability protects wealth.

» Role of a Certified Financial Planner
– Helps structure withdrawals.
– Aligns assets with goals.
– Manages risk during uncertainty.
– Protects child education goals.
– Provides clarity and confidence.

» Final Insights
– Your financial base is strong.
– Retirement is possible with discipline.
– Job income adds comfort, not necessity.
– Balanced asset allocation is essential.
– Active fund management suits this stage.
– Emotional calm will protect decisions.
– Structured planning ensures long-term peace.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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