Confused Ph.D. Student: Long-Distance Relationship, Job Frustration, and Marriage Pressure

Ans: My Dear Nikita,

It sounds like you have been in a challenging situation for some time, where you have been sacrificing your values and thoughts for your partner, and he has been disrespecting you with his words and behavior. It's important to remember that no one deserves to be treated with disrespect in a relationship.

It's understandable that it hurts to think about leaving the relationship, especially after investing so much time and effort into it. However, you need to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, and it seems like this relationship is not fulfilling that for you.

It's important to have a clear and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Let him know that his behavior has been hurtful, and that you cannot accept his condition of not working after marriage. It's important to communicate your boundaries and what you need from the relationship.

If he is not willing to respect your boundaries and make changes to improve the relationship, it may be time to consider ending it. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you are respected, valued, and your needs are met. It may be difficult, but prioritizing your own well-being is important for your long-term happiness.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you are in a difficult situation. It is never okay for someone to disrespect you or your values, regardless of their frustration in life. It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity in any relationship.

It sounds like you have already made the decision to leave the relationship, which is a brave and important step towards taking care of yourself. It may be helpful to remind yourself of the reasons why you made that decision, and to focus on your own values and needs.

If you are still feeling hurt and uncertain about the situation, it may be helpful to seek support from trusted friends or family members, or consider speaking with a therapist. They can help you process your emotions and provide guidance as you navigate this difficult time.

Remember, you have the power to make choices that are best for you and your well-being. Trust yourself and prioritize your own needs and happiness.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When you depend on something or someone for something else to happen, it's like giving away your power and losing control over it.
Frustration and Disappointment are obviously going to follow...first cut the dependencies and conditional help. If your boyfriend depended on your finishing studies for him to go abroad, did you and him not feel like a sword dangling over your heads?
Obviously, the pressure gets to you and it's difficult to focus and get things done.
Study, focus and finish what you need to...you have started on this path...10 years is a long time and now is the time to persist and finish what you have started; if your boyfriend has the maturity, he will wait for you and also independently explore how to fund himself and go abroad. Don't people find a way to go abroad and study? Do all of them depend on their families and spouses and partners? He will find a way; it's time to find yours and then for both of you to align...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/