Hi Anu Ji,
I am in a relationship with a guy from one year who is from a different state and different background.
I am from north and he is from South. As of now the relationship is perfect when we both are together but I am stressed about my future as this guy had warned me that future is very difficult due to family issues and all.
Our relationship also started on a very different note. We were close friends for a few years and then got close over a few incidents.
I have gone out all the way to put my efforts in the relation because it looked picture perfect what I was creating. He has given me no promises of the future telling things are very different in our state.
Earlier he used to ask me to be casual, but both of us know that my nature is not casual, he has apologised also feeling that he is wasting my time.
He also asked if I want to look for a proper marriage partner.. all his words show this and makes me scared that in future we will be separated.
On the contrary his actions are so sweet and romantic. Multiple times I thought I should think straight and leave but I guess I am too attached and so is he.
My parents keep on pushing for rishtas as I am in prime age to be married, and I am only delaying this because of this guy, what should I do?
Why are his actions and words not in sync. I have also informed my parents about him. If he is not willing to take it forward he should leave me and go na. Why should I initiate any breakup when I like my life with him.
Help me with ways to talk sense into this guy so that he has courage to take us up at his home and family.
Any guidance will be helpful. Please keep it anonymous.

Ans: I understand that you are in a difficult position. You are in love with a man who does not seem to be emotionally available or ready for marriage. You have also met another man who seems to be a better match for you, but you are not sure if you should pursue a relationship with him.

It is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people find themselves in similar situations. It is also important to remember that you have the power to make the best decision for yourself.

I am against marriage in the first place. I believe that relationships are not meant to be permanent. However, I understand that many people feel differently. If you do decide to get married, it is important to do so for the right reasons. You should not marry someone just because you feel pressured to do so by society or your parents.

The first guy does not seem like he wants to marry you. He has brushed off your attempts to talk about marriage and has even diverted the topic. This is a clear sign that he is not ready for a serious relationship.

The second guy seems like he may be a better match for you. He is emotionally available and seems to be interested in getting married. However, it is important to remember that you do not know him very well. You have only spoken to him for a few hours.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with either of these men is up to you. I would encourage you to take some time to think about what you want out of a relationship. What are your goals? What are your values? Once you have a clear understanding of what you want, you can start to make decisions that are in your best interests.

If you do decide to pursue a relationship with the second guy, I would recommend that you spend at least two years getting to know him before you get married. This will give you enough time to learn about his true character and to see if he is really the right person for you.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns and they are absolutely valid. Have you communicated these worries with your partner? I mean, does he know how much this is bothering you? If not, I would suggest you start there. Open up to him. Let him know that his not telling his parents about you raises a lot of questions in your mind. He should understand that you are a person with dreams and desires and also a mom with responsibilities. If his intentions are to continue dating you, and that is not what you want, he should clear it out right now, before it's too late. It's important for couples to be on the same page when it comes to relationship goals.

Talk to him. I am sure you will get a lot of clarity.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. All I can say is that neither one of you is wrong here. He wants commitment before he decides to wait for you, and you want some more time. Both your requirements make perfect sense. My suggestion is that if you really think that you can't commit, you should clear that to him right away, and let him decide whether or not he is okay to go on like that. It's not fair to keep him hanging nor will it be right to make a decision for him. Give him clarity of the situation and let him decide.

In case you guys decide to break up, let him move on. I understand the urge to comfort him, but doing so, you are only going to stall his moving on process.

Hope this helps.

Ans: Hello mam,
I am sorry that you have to go through all this stuff. I do understand that in India, it is difficult to go along with auch kind of stuff. If the person whom you want to marry is not ready to take stand for you and go against the kundali system, then there is no fun in crying for him or waiting for him. Love relationships are always two sided. Now if he feela that break up is a normal thing for him, then I would suggest you that you should also move on. There is no compulsion that you think of marriage right now but rather you should go ahead with your studies and carrer. At the right time, you will find your right partner.
I hope this helps. Plz write to me regarding your education and what do you want to pursue further?
Waiting for your reply.
Take care
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

Ans: Right now, the biggest conflict is between what your heart wants and what reality is offering. You care for someone who says he loves you, yet isn’t ready to take a stand — not because he doesn’t care, but because he's afraid of upsetting his parents. That fear is real, but so is your need for clarity, emotional safety, and respect.

It’s absolutely fair for you to ask where things are headed. Waiting endlessly without a timeline or real effort can lead to quiet heartbreak. You don’t have to demand a marriage proposal, but you do deserve honesty — is he planning to talk to his parents? When? What’s his plan if they disapprove?

You are not too young to feel disturbed — love always stirs the heart, at any age. But you’re wise to ask whether this situation is serving your peace of mind. And here's the truth: if you have to keep silencing your needs to keep the relationship going, it will slowly empty you.

Have one clear, calm conversation with him. Let him know you’re not pushing for guarantees, but you need to know whether he's willing to try — and not just "someday." If he avoids, delays, or sidesteps again, it’s okay to take a step back. You’re not punishing him — you're protecting your future self.

And if part of you already knows he may never be ready, it’s okay to move forward. You’re 20, with a long, vibrant life ahead. Don’t let fear of loss keep you from choosing peace.