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Worried Dad: Separating with wife, worried about kids' wellbeing

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1272 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am a father of two young daughters aged 5 and 3. I and my wife got love married and post marriage things began to fall apart. The relationship is not where I have done any physical abuse as we see generally posted in this group . But the issue is more of the individual viewpoints and hence arguments. For every action I take there are reverse opinions and which ends with a feud which takes a lot of mental toll on me and my wife. So considering what we are going through we decided to seperate in good terms. But I am worried about how this will impact my kids. When separating, obviously I will have to stay seperate and I will not be able to meet and play with my kids like I do daily today. Best case would be weekends where I can spend my maximum time with them. Along with this the other concern is if either of us want to get into another relationship or dating, how best can we do along with co parenting? We both are 35 yrs old

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is unfortunate that you both have decided to separate; but now having taken that step, it would be a good idea for both of you to actually have an honest discussion on 'How to Co-parent'. Each couple does it in their own way BUT there are a few pointers that is a MUST DO:
- Make your children a priority; co-parenting is about them and not the two of you
- Make sure that the two of you don't bring in your agenda to be conveyed through the children
- Be respectful of one another when in front of the children so that they don't pick off from the vibes
- Keep the other parent always in the loop about things that concerns the children
- Keep your word on time committed that will support the other parent
- If there is a new relationship that either parent is exploring, when it gets serious, do share that with the other parent so that they will know how to handle the children's questions

The list can go on...but always be sure that you pursue co-parenting from a space of mutual trust, respect and understanding.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1272 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2021

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Relationship
My wife and I have been married for 15+ years and we have two young kids (5 and 10 yrs old). We are from northern India and sort of settled in the USA. The issue is that our communication has been very poor and since the birth of our first child about 10 years ago, the problem has become significantly worse. During the initial years of a kid's life it is obviously understandable to have an infant sleep with parents in bed, but my wife decided to continue doing that years into the birth. This continued till my first child was 5 or 6 years older. And then came along our second kid and the same thing repeated. I was not in agreement with this way of having kids sleep in bed every night and I started sleeping separately and have been doing that for years. I believe this in itself caused multiple cascading communication issues and our detachment from each other. My wife does not take any time out for the two of us and instead spends almost all her time caring for herself or kids. My wife is also very (extremely) possessive and insecure with kids and me developing any kind of meaningful bond. I have to ask her permission for example to take kids out or else she uses sarcasm, demean etc., or other ways to intimidate me as if I am doing something wrong. I need your help to understand if any of this kind of behavioUr can be considered 'normal'. Can I say to myself - 'bad luck, but this happens in marriage and is not a good enough reason to consider separation and divorce'? Or the behaviour I am seeing is way out of the ordinary and cause for some action to save my mental health. I feel lonely, depressed and deprived of emotional support, and really miss time with my kids as well as being a parent to them in ways I think is best for them. Parenting style significant differences have further increased the rift between us, and since kids spend a vast majority of their time with mom, I see them develop personalities which I think is not best for them as they step out into the world and become independent. I am really squeezed between many conflicting thoughts. Should I work on leaving this marriage after years of trying to establish some minimum communication and mutual trust? Should I stay for the sake of my kids, but if so what is the point, I am not able to parent them anyway in any meaningful way? We have arguments and verbal fights a lot and that is the only communication we have left now and otherwise weeks and months go by without any calm and meaningful conversations. I am very lost and hope for some advice that I can apply and clear my thoughts. I will very much appreciate your help.
Ans: Dear VB, this is like kids becoming the third person in the marriage which is very common in a lot of couples.

Sex waning after having kids is something that many marriages go through, also the mother can be tired after caring for the home, work and the kids…sex is the last thing on her mind.

But, yes you do have a point when you mention that kids are still lurking in your bed which is not healthy for their development.

Just a thought, has your wife found this as a convenient option to avoid any intimacy with you?

If yes, what and why is she avoiding? These can be answered only when the two of you set aside your emotions aside and talk as civil adults.

If that isn’t a possibility, kindly take the help of a professional who will:

  • Help your wife transition from mother to wife and ease her into both roles
  • Bring to her notice that children need the love and care of both parents and that it is non-negotiable and a dampener for the kids to deny them the fathers’ support
  • Guide both of you to bring spark back into your marriage
  • Teach the family to discipline itself into conscious parenting that keeps the welfare of the children at the forefront

I would urge you to go down this path before thoughts of separation etc.

The kids can grow up in a loving environment; why not strive for that first?

Wishing you the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1272 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am married with a seven year old daughter. We have been married for eleven years our was an arranged marriage , and we did not have the best compatibility in early years of marriage. My wife had gone through a breakup just before marriage , she took some time to come out of it and I gave her that space. Things began to turn slowly after 2 years of marriage and finally we were blessed with a daughter on 2016 . Due to my job i had to stay apart from my family for nearly four years, during this time she felt very lonely and i tried to console her about our long distances but things did not work out. Gradually i came back to my native after 4 years and things began to slowly fall in place . All was going well but for the last three to four months she felt that all this time she has been mentally adjusting with me since we were not compatible and she wants to break this relationship. I still love her , but she is bent on filing divorce petition. We are separated for the past two months, please advice
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Obviously she never healed from the break-up and you came into her life only to live away that has not helped your marriage.

Right time to seek professional help. Do appeal to her that Divorce only causes a lot of turmoil especially when there is a child involved in the equation. Your wife needs someone to tell her that she has to act like a grown-up. Running away from a marriage and playing the past events isn't going to help and Divorce is only going to accentuate it. Now, if you say this to her, she will most likely call you a villain. So, ASAP go to a marriage therapist...give it a chance...A lot of marriages are saved through this process and your child does deserve a loving home and loving parents.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1272 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello AnuJi I am 42 and my wife is 40 and we have an 8 year old son. We have recently been staying separately since 3 months after a lot of tensions and my wife's emotional breakdown. Our relationship has been strained since beginning. Though am very loving, caring and devoted to my wife I have possessiveness issues. My wife has been sacrificing a lot on her own accord for our marriage but during her emotional breakdown we learnt the hard way that she was feeling suffocated in all this. She even hurt herself and that is the reason I am very careful in approaching her for reconciliation. My son is with me which gives me solace but I am worried he will miss out on mother's love and holistic development this way. I am unable to create a pathway between me and my wife because she is currently very caustic, bitter, insulting towards me and my family and not willing to hear my side of the story / talk peacefully / agree for counseling etc. I considered having the child stay with her but she has a terrible temper and history of beating the child, sometimes severely and hiding this from me till I found out. I later came to know my child is developing a sulking personality because of this but being a child he is naturally affectionate towards her mother (infact he developed an attitude that he deserves to be beaten and slapped - something he is coming out of gradually now he is with me). Infact parenting style mismatch and arguments was one of the reason of our split. At this moment I want to do whatever possible to bring the family together - short of feeling humiliated / not being heard / agreeing to child being beaten. My wife and me are well educated and even nature-wise she has good qualities as well. I just don't understand how we seemed to have ended up in this mess so abruptly. I do not know whether I should adopt a conventional attitude of saving the family, compromising etc or prioritise individual happiness and adopt a more liberal approach of staying separately even if child misses out on one of our day to day love and care.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's put things into perspective.
1. You and your wife are living separately due to a few challenges
2. Your son lives with you but you feel that the family living together is the best
3. Your wife resorts to punishing your son which is impacting him
4. Counseling is not an option

Which means that you have to step in as your own Counselor. Bringing the family together has to be your journey as your wife is not a part of it as yet. A lot of empathy, patience and the challenge of understanding your wife's emotional breakdown. Obviously, there's something going on deep within her that is making her resort to hurting herself which is cause for concern indeed. Tread carefully but firmly when you speak with your wife. Let her know your genuine intent of bringing the family back together and how much you would appreciate her support in all of this. Encourage her to start working as this will offer her some respite from caring for the family and also set her up professionally.
Give a patient ear to her complaints or outbursts (a very difficult thing for you to do).

What I have stated above is what works much better with a professional as you will have his/her guidance through the process. But give this a shot by yourself and see where it leads you to. Who knows, after a while, she might agree to see a professional...Give this a shot...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Ravi Mittal  |396 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 01, 2024
Relationship
I am a 27 year old female. I am dating a guy for 10+ years, we have become too casual about each other. Its like our relationship has lost the spark after we left college. We are dragging our relationship just because we both arent ready to put efforts in finding new partners. Whenever we meet, we cuddle and sleep and havent had sex since last 2 years. Emotionally we are too close but physical intimacy is kindof lost. Since its time to get married. I am still unsure whether he as of now is the one for lifetime. Should we venture for new partners respectively or are we the one for each other. Please Suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you have to ask "Are we the one for each other?" something must be going really wrong in the relationship. Moreover, you also mentioned dragging it, so reconsidering the relationship can't hurt. There is another option- you can try couple's therapy and get to the bottom of this detachment. It can be time; it happens to many long-term couples. Nothing comes without effort- you will have to work on it every day and explore new things to bring back the spark. If you don't want to let go of this relationship, try these suggestions. But to continue lugging it because this relationship is all too familiar and comfortable now is not the right decision. If it's okay with both of you, take a break and venture out for new partners. See how things pan out. The choice is yours. The only thing that I can confirm is that at this point, you should not rush into getting married and focus on sorting things out first.

Best Wishes.

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Dr Nagarajan J S K   |153 Answers  |Ask -

Health Science and Pharmaceutical Careers Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

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Career
My daughter has completed BSc in Life Science and Masters in Microbiology in June 2024. She is searching/applyin for jobs in pharma companies but no success Please guide
Ans: Hi Sir,

I am glad to hear that she has completed her MSc in Microbiology. Could you let me know what type of project she worked on during her final year? Additionally, what skills has she acquired during her postgraduate studies? While eligibility might be determined by her percentage, it's important to note that skills play a significant role in the job market.

Did she complete an internship in the pharma industry? Nowadays, many candidates claim to have experience, but often lack competency in their subjects.

One essential aspect is preparing her resume. She should highlight her skills, any internships she has completed, and the projects she worked on during her postgraduate program.

Industries are currently facing various challenges due to human resource issues, making them cautious in selecting candidates for specific roles.

I also recommend that she consider an internship at Biocon for six months. They have an academy focused on biotech-related training, and completing this prograHi Sir,

I am glad to hear that she has completed her MSc in Microbiology. Could you let me know what type of project she worked on during her final year? Additionally, what skills has she acquired during her postgraduate studies? While eligibility might be determined by her percentage, it's important to note that skills play a significant role in the job market.

Did she complete an internship in the pharma industry? Nowadays, many candidates claim to have experience, but often lack competency in their subjects.

One essential aspect is preparing her resume. She should highlight her skills, any internships she has completed, and the projects she worked on during her postgraduate program.

Industries are currently facing various challenges due to human resource issues, making them cautious in selecting candidates for specific roles.

I also recommend that she consider an internship at Biocon for six months. They have an academy focused on biotech-related training, and completing this program successfully may lead to a job at Biocon, depending on her performance.

All the best! m successfully may lead to a job at Biocon, depending on her performance.

All the best!

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6976 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 05, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I am seeking your expertise to review my current asset allocation strategy, as I am planning for a 10-year investment horizon. I am currently 48 years old, Moderate risk taker, looking 13-14% CAGR, and would like to ensure that my portfolio is well-structured to meet my long-term financial goals. Proposed Target Asset Allocation: (A) -Equity Instruments: 45% (a)-Direct Stocks: 10% (Large Cap / Blue Chip Stocks: 3%, Mid Cap Stocks: 2%, Small Cap Stocks: 2%, Solar/Green Fuel Stocks: 1%, AI / Semiconductor / Data Storage / EV Stocks: 1%, FMCG Stocks: 1%. (b). International Equity: 5%). (c). Mutual Fund Equity: 30% (Large Cap Funds: 9%,Mid Cap Funds: 6%,Small Cap Funds: 5%,Flexi Cap Fund: 3%,Multicap Fund: 2%,Aggressive Hybrid: 2%,NPS (Equity): 3%) (B). Debt Instruments: 40% ( FD/TFD: 40%, KVP: 8%, NSC: 6%, Debt Mutual Funds: 6%, NCD/Corporate Bonds: 2%, PPF: 2%, NPS (Debt): 2%) (C). Real Estate: 10% (Land/Forms: 7%, House/Flats: 3%) (D). Gold: 5% (Physical Gold: 5%, Sovereign Gold Bonds: 2%, Gold ETF: 2%) Questions: 1. Does this allocation appear appropriate for my age and risk profile? 2. Are there any modifications you would recommend to enhance potential growth or reduce risk? How does this allocation align with current market trends, particularly in sectors like green energy and technology? Thank you in advance for your insights and recommendations! Best regards,
Ans: Let’s assess each section of your proposed strategy, along with suggestions to help optimise your returns within your moderate risk tolerance and 10-year horizon.

1. Equity Instruments - 45%
Your equity allocation is well-diversified across direct stocks, international equity, and mutual funds. Let’s examine each segment:

Direct Stocks (10%): Holding 10% in direct stocks across large, mid, and small-cap stocks, as well as thematic sectors like green fuel and technology, adds growth potential. However, actively monitoring individual stocks and staying updated on market conditions is crucial for these segments.

Considerations: Thematic investments (e.g., solar, AI, semiconductor, and FMCG) add future-focused growth potential but can be volatile. Consider reducing thematic stocks slightly if you prefer a more conservative approach. A 7-8% direct stock allocation could still capture growth while managing risk.

International Equity (5%): Exposure to international equity is excellent for diversifying risk and gaining from foreign markets. Focus on countries with strong technology and industrial sectors, such as the US or emerging markets.

Mutual Fund Equity (30%): Your mix of large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, flexi-cap, multi-cap, and aggressive hybrid funds provides balance. However, it’s advisable to stick with regular funds through an MFD, especially if you lack time for active tracking. Regular funds offer valuable guidance through certified financial planners, which may help in uncertain markets.

2. Debt Instruments - 40%
Debt provides stability to your portfolio. The allocation across fixed deposits, debt mutual funds, KVP, NSC, NCDs, PPF, and NPS (debt) is balanced.

Fixed Deposits and Term Deposits (20%): FDs offer security but relatively lower returns, especially given rising inflation. You could reduce FD holdings and allocate more to debt mutual funds for potentially higher returns without excessive risk.

KVP, NSC, and PPF: These are secure instruments offering fixed returns and tax-saving benefits. However, ensure that these instruments align with your tax strategy since the interest is subject to tax as per your income slab.

Debt Mutual Funds (6%): Increasing this portion slightly could improve returns. Debt mutual funds also provide better liquidity options compared to FDs. However, remember the new tax rules, where debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

3. Real Estate - 10%
Your 10% allocation to real estate is reasonable. Since you are looking at forms of land and residential property, it is critical to consider the liquidity of these investments.

Consideration: Real estate often involves high transaction costs and is less liquid. You may want to weigh this allocation against other investment avenues for improved liquidity.
4. Gold - 5%
Gold is a strong hedge against inflation and market downturns. Your allocation across physical gold, sovereign gold bonds, and gold ETFs is diverse.

Physical Gold (1-2%): Physical gold can be useful but adds storage costs and risks. You could consider shifting more of this portion to sovereign gold bonds and ETFs, which are easier to liquidate and don’t incur storage issues.

Sovereign Gold Bonds (2%): Sovereign Gold Bonds offer a fixed interest component and are tax-efficient if held till maturity. These are excellent for long-term holding.

Current Market Trends and Sectors
Green Energy: Green energy has high growth potential. However, these stocks can be volatile due to policy changes and economic shifts. Limit exposure to avoid over-concentration.

Technology (AI, Semiconductor, EV): The technology sector is growing rapidly, especially in AI and EV. Consider focusing on large-cap or mutual fund options for stability.

Tax Implications and Portfolio Adjustments
Capital Gains on Mutual Funds: For equity mutual funds, long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%, while short-term gains are taxed at 20%. Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab, so balancing these investments can optimise tax efficiency.

Reduce FDs for Tax Efficiency: FDs, though safe, attract tax on interest income, which may reduce overall returns. Balancing some FD allocation with debt funds could be tax-efficient and yield higher returns.

Recommendations for Optimal Portfolio Structure
Consider Balanced Growth through Mutual Funds: Given your moderate risk profile, shifting a portion from direct stocks and FDs to actively managed mutual funds could reduce the need for active monitoring.

Optimise Debt Allocation with Debt Funds: A higher allocation to debt mutual funds could enhance returns, with improved liquidity and tax efficiency. Explore funds that align with your investment goals and time horizon.

Review Thematic Stock Exposure: Some exposure to high-growth thematic stocks is good but consider capping this to reduce risk. Mutual funds focused on sectors like green energy and technology can offer exposure with professional fund management.

Final Insights
Your asset allocation strategy is commendable and largely balanced. A few adjustments could potentially enhance your portfolio’s growth, liquidity, and tax efficiency over time.

Consider reducing exposure to direct stocks and fixed deposits.

Increase debt fund allocation for better returns and tax management.

Reassess the thematic exposure, especially for emerging sectors like green energy and technology.

Balance between actively managed funds and stable debt options to keep your risk aligned with your moderate risk tolerance.

By implementing these adjustments, you can optimise your portfolio’s growth while managing risk effectively. Over the 10-year horizon, this should position you well to achieve your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6976 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2024Hindi
Money
Resp. Sir, I need your guidance regarding Insurance cum guranteed Income Plan. I did purchased ICICI Pru Guaranteed Income For Tomorrow (GIFT) Plan in 2023. I purchased 12 yrs PPT + 2 Year Plan. The annual premium is Rs. 5 Lakh + GST. ( 522500 in 1st year, 511250 for rest of 11 years ). I have paid 2 installment ( 2023 and 2024). Last installment to be paid in March 2034. I have choosed annual Payout. the first payout will start in September 2038 ( as I have chossed save on date) The payout amount will be Rs. 790926- tax free for 25 years ( upto 2062. I will be 95 by 2062). ICICI will return all premium also with 10% bonus. That mean Rs. 6600000/-( 66 Lakhs) will be paid with last payout. Now I am again confused for If I should contimnue or not. Policy is now fully paid after payment of minimum payment of two premium ( it means I will get reduced payout from 2038 onwards). Pl. guide me , 1) If I should continue the payment of premium, 2) what will be the rate of return and XIRR, 3) alternate investment if I discontinue the payment of Premium. Waiting for your reply. Thanks in Advance.
Ans: Your decision to purchase the ICICI Pru Guaranteed Income For Tomorrow (GIFT) Plan reflects a prudent approach to creating a future income stream. The policy offers guaranteed returns and aligns well with long-term financial security. However, it’s essential to carefully assess whether continuing with the premium payments will help you meet your financial goals efficiently.

Let’s evaluate the key elements of this plan, the expected returns, and alternative options to help you make an informed choice.

Key Highlights of Your Current Insurance Plan
Here’s a quick summary of your ICICI Pru Guaranteed Income For Tomorrow Plan:

Premium Payment Term (PPT): 12 years
Annual Premium: Rs 5 lakh + GST (Rs 5,22,500 in the first year, Rs 5,11,250 for the next 11 years)
Annual Payout Start: September 2038
Annual Payout Amount: Rs 7,90,926 (tax-free) for 25 years
Return of Premium with Bonus: Rs 66 lakhs at the end of the payout term in 2062
Evaluation of Returns: Rate of Return and XIRR
Rate of Return: This insurance-cum-guaranteed income plan typically offers returns in the range of 5-6%, which is relatively modest compared to other investment vehicles.

Expected XIRR: Calculating the exact XIRR is complex as it considers both premium payments and the eventual payouts. Given the guaranteed amount, the XIRR is expected to be in the range of 5.5-6.5%.

Opportunity Cost: This return may appear low compared to the potential returns from other investment options like mutual funds, especially when compounded over 12 years. High inflation rates may further erode the purchasing power of the fixed payouts, potentially affecting your financial freedom in the future.

Benefits of Continuing with the Plan
If your primary goal is guaranteed income and stability, here’s why you might consider continuing:

Assured Income: This plan provides a predictable, tax-free income stream for 25 years, helping you maintain cash flow without market risk.

Capital Preservation: With the return of premium and bonus at the end, the plan ensures capital preservation, which may suit a conservative investment outlook.

Tax-Free Income: The payouts are tax-free, which can be beneficial, particularly if you anticipate a high tax bracket in the future.

Considerations for Discontinuing the Plan
Although this plan provides guaranteed income, certain factors may urge you to consider discontinuing:

Lower Rate of Return: Traditional insurance-cum-investment plans generally offer lower returns. These returns may not match the long-term growth rates required for wealth accumulation.

Liquidity Constraints: The plan restricts liquidity since you must commit for 12 years, with no flexible withdrawal options. This can be a drawback if you anticipate needing funds for other investments or emergencies.

Inflation Impact: While the payouts are fixed, the real value of the income will diminish over time due to inflation. Alternative investments can offer growth that more effectively counters inflation.

Alternate Investment Options
If you decide to discontinue premium payments, here are some diversified options to consider for potentially higher returns with a balanced risk:

Actively Managed Mutual Funds: Investing in actively managed funds can offer a blend of equity and debt exposure. Experienced fund managers adjust portfolios to capture market gains while managing risk. Unlike index funds, actively managed funds may outperform due to professional insights. Explore equity mutual funds with a long-term focus for higher returns.

Balanced or Hybrid Funds: These funds offer a combination of equity and debt, reducing volatility while aiming for reasonable growth. Balanced funds are suitable for generating wealth over time, with moderate risk.

Debt Mutual Funds: For conservative growth, debt funds provide stable returns with relatively low risk. Note that debt fund returns are now taxed at your income slab rate, which may affect post-tax returns. Consider debt funds if you prefer a safer, predictable growth without long lock-ins.

Public Provident Fund (PPF): If you haven’t maximized your PPF contributions, this instrument offers tax-free interest and principal, with long-term compounding benefits. PPF is risk-free and provides stable, inflation-protected growth over time.

Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB): For those interested in gold investments, SGBs offer regular interest income and long-term price appreciation potential. SGBs come with tax-free redemption if held to maturity, providing a hedge against inflation.

Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) in Mutual Funds: An SWP offers regular payouts by systematically redeeming mutual fund units. Unlike insurance payouts, SWPs give you flexibility, and the invested corpus has growth potential, enhancing overall wealth.

Recommendation for Next Steps
To determine whether to continue with the premiums, consider the following steps:

Re-evaluate Your Financial Goals: Consider your long-term objectives and whether guaranteed, fixed returns align with them.

Assess Liquidity Needs: If liquidity is crucial, continuing this plan may limit your ability to allocate funds to better-suited investments.

Discuss with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP): Consulting a CFP can provide tailored insights and assist in calculating the precise XIRR and assessing the tax impact on your returns.

Final Insights
Your current insurance plan provides stability and guaranteed returns, which is suitable if you prioritize capital preservation. However, if wealth accumulation and inflation protection are key, consider exploring other options that offer higher growth potential with some market exposure.

Choosing the right path ultimately depends on balancing security with growth, ensuring that your investments remain aligned with your future financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6976 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

Money
Sir,I became to cyber fraud in regards to Telegram Prepaid Task where I was deceived and manipulated by the fraudsters under their false pretenses that they were offering me a part time work from home job .I transferred Rs 86000/- to them.I reported to the same to my Indian Bank within 3 days according to RBI guidelines via a phone call to my branch manager but he did not take my complaint initially over the phone and rudely said to visit branch.then on the 4th day I visited branch along with necessary documents and police complaint copy and a written application informing the details of fraud transaction.I also got shadow reversal in account of Rs86000/- which was reflecting as a hold or lien balance in my account then I was to advised by the manager to wait for 1 or 1 and a half month till the investigation gets completed and then he will verify the same and credit the same into my account but they did not do anything for 1 month 6 days till I again visited branch to know that the said manager got transferred to another branch and new assigned branch manager did not knew anything I again submitted a complaint and then they raised a charge back which was rejected by the beneficiary bank stating that there is no balance in the beneficiary or fraudsters account .I complained to RBI but even RBI supported bank and held me responsible and now bank also closed and rejected my claim and that shadow reversal also has been reversed by them..what shall I do?
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about your experience with this fraud. Cyber scams, especially in the name of part-time jobs, have become increasingly common. While you've followed the required steps, the response from the bank and RBI can be frustrating. Here’s a structured approach to help you pursue your case further:

1. File an FIR with the Cyber Crime Police Station
Since you've already filed a police complaint, ensure it’s registered as an FIR (First Information Report) if it wasn’t initially.

Visit the Cyber Crime Police Station in your city or use the National Cyber Crime Reporting Portal (cybercrime.gov.in). Online reports are also possible.

Cyber crime units often coordinate directly with banks, so they might offer additional support. The sooner they receive the full complaint, the better the chance to trace the transaction trail.

2. Gather Complete Documentation
Compile all relevant documents: initial complaints to the bank, emails, SMS messages, screenshots of Telegram conversations, bank statements showing the transaction, RBI complaint letters, and any other related correspondence.

This documentation will provide a thorough record of events, which is helpful for authorities and any additional escalations you make.

3. Escalate with the Banking Ombudsman
File a complaint with the Banking Ombudsman under the Reserve Bank of India if you haven't done so already. This is a separate avenue that might yield a different result.

To initiate, visit the RBI’s Banking Ombudsman page and follow the complaint process. Ensure your complaint is detailed, mentioning dates, bank interactions, and the specific RBI guidelines under which you initially acted.

4. Send a Legal Notice to the Bank
If the Banking Ombudsman process does not yield results, you may consider sending a legal notice to the bank. This may compel them to reconsider their stance.

Contact a lawyer who specializes in consumer or banking matters. The lawyer will draft a legal notice mentioning the bank's failure to act as per the initial commitment made by the branch manager.

Sometimes, this step pushes banks to act, as they prefer to avoid further legal disputes.

5. Approach the Consumer Forum
If the above steps don’t help, you may consider filing a complaint with the Consumer Disputes Redressal Forum in your district or state.

Since you suffered financial loss due to what may be considered negligence or delay from the bank's side, the Consumer Forum might provide some relief or compensation.

Provide all documentation and details, especially focusing on the timeline of events and the initial shadow reversal placed on your account.

6. Alert the Cyber Cell and RBI Ombudsman about Fraud Trends
To help prevent further fraud, report this Telegram scam with details to the Cyber Cell and the RBI fraud department. This may lead to a warning to banks about specific types of scams, potentially benefitting other customers in the future.
7. Stay Cautious of Follow-up Scams
Fraudsters sometimes target those affected by previous scams with promises of refunds. Stay cautious about any unsolicited communication that claims to assist with recovering the funds for an additional fee or transaction.
Finally: Be persistent and patient as you follow each step. Given the increasing number of cyber fraud cases, authorities are becoming more proactive in tackling these issues, but the process can be lengthy.

Best of luck with your efforts, and I hope your funds are recovered soon.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1272 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 06, 2024

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Relationship
Hi my son 36 year old having some bed habits like drinking , smoking ,having relationship with other females, have habits of argument with everyone , unable compromise with different circumstances and try to prove himself right all the times. Due to these habits he unable to do job , he already left 2-3 jobs in past . he got married in 2018 with same age of working female. Both were separately in other city from day of marriage. Due to his habits they took divorce in 2024. Even after that he did not changed , continue with his bed habits. Being parent when we tried to make him understand but nothing change in his habits. Now he is job less last 2 months , sitting ideal at home hole day , evening go out and come back home very late , some time early morning. As parents we are very upset and scare , don't know what to do and how to handle this situation.
Ans: Dear Rajbir,
Your son has forgotten that he is a grown-up and has challenges accepting responsibilities for himself.
So, to remind him that he is a grown-up, kindly set up an appointment with a professional who can not just identify the root cause of the issue and guide him to a place of confidence so that he can act his age.
The thing that you can do immediately which may work is to ask someone else in the family who is similar in age to your son to have a chat with him and find out what is going on...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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