My wife and I have been married for 15+ years and we have two young kids (5 and 10 yrs old).

We are from northern India and sort of settled in the USA.

The issue is that our communication has been very poor and since the birth of our first child about 10 years ago, the problem has become significantly worse.

During the initial years of a kid's life it is obviously understandable to have an infant sleep with parents in bed, but my wife decided to continue doing that years into the birth.

This continued till my first child was 5 or 6 years older. And then came along our second kid and the same thing repeated.

I was not in agreement with this way of having kids sleep in bed every night and I started sleeping separately and have been doing that for years.

I believe this in itself caused multiple cascading communication issues and our detachment from each other.

My wife does not take any time out for the two of us and instead spends almost all her time caring for herself or kids.

My wife is also very (extremely) possessive and insecure with kids and me developing any kind of meaningful bond.

I have to ask her permission for example to take kids out or else she uses sarcasm, demean etc., or other ways to intimidate me as if I am doing something wrong.

I need your help to understand if any of this kind of behavioUr can be considered 'normal'.

Can I say to myself - 'bad luck, but this happens in marriage and is not a good enough reason to consider separation and divorce'? Or the behaviour I am seeing is way out of the ordinary and cause for some action to save my mental health.

I feel lonely, depressed and deprived of emotional support, and really miss time with my kids as well as being a parent to them in ways I think is best for them.

Parenting style significant differences have further increased the rift between us, and since kids spend a vast majority of their time with mom, I see them develop personalities which I think is not best for them as they step out into the world and become independent.

I am really squeezed between many conflicting thoughts.

Should I work on leaving this marriage after years of trying to establish some minimum communication and mutual trust?

Should I stay for the sake of my kids, but if so what is the point, I am not able to parent them anyway in any meaningful way?

We have arguments and verbal fights a lot and that is the only communication we have left now and otherwise weeks and months go by without any calm and meaningful conversations.

I am very lost and hope for some advice that I can apply and clear my thoughts.

I will very much appreciate your help.

Ans: Congrats on plans to pursue masters in engineering. I have limited knowledge on your interests and passion for detailed aspects of engineering. you would like to pursue and your experience. I recommend that you talk to your faculty at your college as also your class mates, do a bit of self research and then take a call.

Ans: It is natural for parents to get unduly worried about their bright kids. I suggest you talk to her more like a friend and let her take her own decisions. As a IIT graduate she will be best equipped to look after her interests in the US company.

Ans: It is natural for parents to get concerned in these situations. And as parents you have to encourage them and let them take the right decisions. In absence of his scores, interest and opportunities it is tough to respond. Suggest to him to explore placement opportunities using various resources and events organized by the university.

I am told NCSU hosts one of the largest engineering career fairs, held biannually, attracting employers from diverse industries, providing students with significant networking opportunities and potential job leads?.
He can also explore Corporate Partnerships and Alumni Network and look for access to internships, co-ops, and job placements through these connections. If he is keen he can also pursue a Doctoral studies with a scholarship.

Ans: I assume you are already in a career, please specify what you are doing for me to suggest a better career

Ans: With the limited info about yourself it is difficult to get you a precise answer. Try picking up from one of these to suit your background: 1. Project Management Tools 2. Data Analysis and Visualization 3. Computer-Aided Design (CAD) and Simulation
4. Programming and Scripting 5. Internet of Things (IoT) and Industry 4.0 6. Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) Systems
7. Additive Manufacturing (3D Printing) 8. Quality Management Systems 9. Cybersecurity Awareness.
Once you make your pick then you will need to focus specific software concepts and skills.

Ans: MSc in Organic Chemistry, offers opportunities to apply your skills in diverse fields. Networking with professionals, attending industry conferences, and staying updated with the latest research and technological advancements can further enhance your career prospects. Host of options include: In the pharmaceutical industry, you can work as a research scientist, quality control/assurance specialist, or formulation scientist. The chemical industry offers roles such as production chemist, process development scientist, and analytical chemist. Academia and research positions include becoming a lecturer.
In the biotechnology and life sciences sector, you can work as a biochemist or molecular biologist. Environmental science careers include environmental chemist and consultant roles. The food and beverage industry offers opportunities as a food chemist or flavor chemist. Forensic science roles include forensic chemist positions.
Additionally, careers in patent and regulatory affairs such as patent examiner/agent and regulatory affairs specialist are viable options. For those interested in entrepreneurship, starting a business in specialty chemicals or pharmaceuticals is a possibility. Lastly, careers in technical writing and communication.

Ans: Navigating Property Ownership: Assessing Options for Financial Security
Your friend's situation presents a complex decision regarding property ownership and financial stability. Let's evaluate the available options and recommend a course of action that aligns with his long-term financial goals and current circumstances.

Understanding the Current Situation
Property Ownership: Your friend owns a 2BHK flat in his hometown, which he purchased 10 years ago with a loan of 14 lakhs. Despite regular repayments, the outstanding amount remains the same.

Financial Constraints: With a monthly income of 1 lakh and family responsibilities, managing additional financial burdens can be challenging, especially considering the stagnant loan amount and potential property maintenance costs.

Evaluating Options
Repaying the Loan: Your friend can consider gradually repaying the remaining loan amount of 14 lakhs from the funds he expects to receive in 2024. This approach allows him to regain full ownership of the property, eliminating debt obligations.

Selling or Abandoning the Property: Given the property's location on the 4th floor without a lift and the uncertainty surrounding its market value, your friend may contemplate selling or abandoning the property altogether. This option frees him from loan liabilities and potential maintenance expenses but necessitates finding alternative housing solutions.

Exploring New Property Investment: With the funds received in 2024, your friend could explore investing in a new property that better suits his current needs and preferences. However, the feasibility of this option depends on various factors such as property costs, location, and financial constraints.

Considerations for Decision-Making
Financial Stability: Prioritize your friend's financial stability and ability to manage debt obligations and future expenses effectively.

Long-Term Goals: Consider your friend's long-term goals, including retirement planning, family needs, and property ownership preferences, when making decisions about property ownership.

Market Analysis: Assess the current real estate market trends in your friend's hometown to gauge the potential returns on investment and property appreciation prospects.

Seeking Professional Guidance
Encourage your friend to consult with a financial advisor or real estate expert to assess his options comprehensively and make informed decisions aligned with his financial objectives and circumstances.

Conclusion
Your friend's decision regarding the 2BHK flat ownership requires careful consideration of various factors, including financial stability, long-term goals, and market dynamics. By weighing the available options and seeking professional guidance, he can navigate this situation effectively and secure his financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

Ans: Crafting Your Path to a 10 Crore Corpus: A Long-Term Investment Strategy
Your proactive approach towards investing at a young age and setting ambitious financial goals demonstrates foresight and determination. Let's outline a comprehensive investment strategy tailored to your objective of accumulating a 10 crore corpus by retirement within 50 years.

Current Financial Landscape
Young Age Advantage: Starting your investment journey at 24 provides a significant advantage due to the power of compounding over an extended period.

Steady Income and Investments: Earning 11 lakhs per annum and allocating 60k monthly towards investments, including SIPs and lump sum contributions, reflects disciplined financial planning.

Long-Term Investment Strategy
Equity-Centric Approach: Given your long investment horizon and goal of wealth accumulation, adopting an equity-centric approach is prudent. Equity investments offer higher growth potential over the long term, albeit with higher volatility.

SIPs for Regular Investing: Continue with your SIPs, as they foster disciplined investing and provide the benefit of rupee cost averaging. Allocate a significant portion of your monthly investments towards equity SIPs to capitalize on market opportunities and mitigate risk.

Lump Sum Investments for Portfolio Boost: Utilize lump sum investments to bolster your portfolio and seize attractive investment opportunities. Consider diversified equity mutual funds or blue-chip stocks with strong growth potential and track record.

Diversification Across Asset Classes: While equity forms the cornerstone of your investment strategy, consider diversifying across other asset classes such as debt, real estate investment trusts (REITs), or gold to mitigate risk and enhance overall portfolio stability.

Monitoring and Adjustments
Regular Portfolio Review: Periodically review your investment portfolio to ensure it remains aligned with your financial goals, risk tolerance, and market conditions. Make adjustments as necessary to capitalize on emerging opportunities or rebalance your portfolio.

Stay Informed and Educated: Keep abreast of economic developments, market trends, and investment strategies to make informed decisions. Continuous learning and staying informed are essential pillars of successful long-term investing.

Conclusion
With a disciplined investment approach, focus on equity investments, and commitment to long-term financial planning, you can work towards achieving your goal of accumulating a 10 crore corpus by retirement within 50 years. Stay disciplined, stay focused, and trust in the power of compounding to realize your financial aspirations.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

Ans: Estimating Future Corpus: Projecting Retirement Savings Growth
Your proactive approach towards retirement planning, coupled with a substantial current corpus and significant yearly SIP contributions, sets a strong foundation for achieving your retirement goals. Let's project the potential corpus you could accumulate by the age of 65, considering inflation and expected returns.

Current Financial Situation
Substantial Current Corpus: Your existing corpus of 2.25 crores provides a solid base for wealth accumulation, demonstrating prudent financial management and planning.

Significant Yearly SIP: A yearly SIP of 40 lakhs reflects your commitment to long-term wealth creation and retirement preparedness.

Projecting Future Corpus
Inflation Consideration: Accounting for inflation is essential to ensure your retirement corpus maintains its purchasing power over time. Assuming an average inflation rate of 6-7% annually is prudent.

Expected Returns: With a diversified investment portfolio and an investment horizon of 19 years until retirement, aiming for an average annual return of 10-12% is reasonable, considering historical market performance.

Compounding Effect: The power of compounding amplifies the growth potential of your investments over time, especially with consistent SIP contributions and favorable market conditions.

Estimating Future Corpus
Using a retirement calculator or financial projection tool, we can estimate the potential corpus you could accumulate by the age of 65 based on your current SIP contributions, expected returns, and inflation rate.

Conclusion
By diligently contributing to your SIPs and leveraging the power of compounding, you have the potential to achieve a substantial retirement corpus by the age of 65. Regularly reviewing your investment strategy, adjusting for changing market conditions, and staying disciplined in your savings habits will further enhance your financial security in retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in